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Lavender & Roses

X

Sadie answered the phone quietly, like she had just woken up and not spent the last hour and a half talking to me. She sounded annoyed as she spoke to Niall. He must've been being too protective again. After another few moments, Sadie hung up and threw her phone back onto the night stand.
"Everything okay?" I asked seeing her furrowed brow.
She nodded, "Yeah. Niall just being himself. Reminding me to get out of bed and take my medications and informing me that he would be coming over with Liam and Louis again today." My phone buzzed on the stand next to Sadie's. I picked it up to see a text from Niall: Going to DeeDee's again today. If you want to chill, go there.
"Well, it looks like I am going to be here all day." I smiled as I set my phone down. "Niall invited me over." I chuckled.
Sadie smiled, "You should go home and change your clothes." She blushed as she added, "Maybe get a change for tomorrow too?"
"Come back to my house with me. I can show you the quickest way to get there from here if you ever really need me." I stated. In all honesty, I just didn't want to leave her. I wanted to stay by her side. Learn everything I could about her I could before the boys returned. Sadie eyed me for a moment then agreed. "Good. Get dressed. I'll take you to my favorite tea house on the way." I beamed at her. Sadie giggled and scooted off my chest. I sighed a little when I no longer felt her warmth.
Sadie stood from the bed and pulled her hair into a ponytail. I watched her gather her things around the room. I loved the way she moved: slow and precise with a type of grace that had to be earned. My eyes wandered her figure as well. She was stunning in her yoga shorts and t-shirt. She had beautiful curves that made her so soft and feminine. Her breasts were full and the perfect size. I smiled as I thought of the way they would feel in my hands. Her thighs made me excited as well. Her thighs were thicker and they appeared strong. As wrong as it felt, I thought of the way they would eventually grip my head and hips as I gave her the utmost pleasure. I bit my lip when my eyes fell on her bum. Also perfect. It was firm and had the full shape that was always talked about. My mind drifted to the image of me gripping it tightly while she bounced in my lap on the sofa in her tiny living room or on the bench in Niall's garden. That image made me laugh out loud.
"Why are you laughing?" Sadie asked looking back at me worried. I shook my head and choked on more laughter. "Harry, why are you laughing?" Sadie asked again. I pointed to the picture of her and Niall that was on the dresser.
"That's a cute picture is all." I stated. I couldn't risk telling her what I was actually thinking. I couldn't possibly tell her that I had been daydreaming of making love to her. I knew it was going to happen. I could feel it in the tension between us. She didn't need to know about it yet. I was sure she felt it too but it didn't need to be spoken of. But still, I thought of the way she would feel and how I would get her to scream and beg for more. As I watched her thighs and bum again, I couldn't help but wonder if she would bounce on me or not. Was she one of those girls? Or would she grind on me? Would she hold my face to her breasts or would she stare into my eyes lovingly?
"Harry." Sadie's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "I need to change." She stated shyly. I nodded and climbed out of bed. I was a little embarrassed and hoping she wouldn't notice the change on my body. I hoped Niall's gym shorts hid the fact I was harder than a rock. Sadie quickly turned her eyes away from me and blushed. I looked down. It was obvious that I was aroused. I hurried into the bathroom to change my clothes and attempt to will away the massive hard on.


I walked out of the bathroom to see an empty bedroom. Sadie must've gotten dressed rather quickly. I sighed heavily and ran my hand through my hair. How was I going to explain what she'd seen earlier? I could act like it never happened but I felt like that wasn't the way to deal with it. I wanted to be with her so I decided honesty was best...kind of. I wasn't going to tell her that I had been thinking of making love to her. But I wasn't going to deny what she saw.
I entered the kitchen quietly. Sadie stood at the counter reading a magazine. She looked up at me with rosy cheeks and smiled shyly.
"Did you want to leave right away?" She inquired quietly. I nodded and tried to gather my courage to bring up the topic I'd been pondering for the last ten minutes. "We should go then. Niall and the other boys will probably be here before noon." Sadie leaned to the other side of the counter and grabbed her purse.
"Can we talk for a minute?" I asked her nervously. She nodded with a smile. "About earlier...when I got out of bed... when you saw that I was..." I wanted to be forward but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
"Hard?" She asked, chewing her lip anxiously.
"Yeah. I'm...I'm sorry." I stated sincerely.
Sadie lifted her eyebrow, "Why are you apologizing?"
"Well you blushed and looked nervous." I replied.
Sadie spoke softly, "You don't have to apologize. It happens. You can't control it. Our bodies do whatever they want sometimes."
I blushed and scratched my head, "Waking up with a beautiful woman doesn't really help much either." Sadie turned an even brighter shade of red. It was like she'd never been told she was beautiful before. "But it doesn't mean that...well I'm not gonna ask you to..." I didn't know how to tell her I wasn't going to force her into a physical relationship. "You don't have to do anything you don't wanna do." I stated softly. I thought I was dropping another hint about being with her. Just when I thought she couldn't be more red in the face, she was. I cleared my throat quickly, "Well, now that we've got that out of the way...do you want to get some tea?" Sadie nodded and led me toward the front door.



Sadie sat across the table from me in the small tea house. She smiled as she looked around the building. She seemed to love the quaint charm of the tea house. I loved the way she was smiling. It was a soft, adorable expression that reached her eyes. Her hand dropped from underneath her chin, touching mine gently. I felt a kind of spark between our skin. Sadie blushed madly then apologized. I shook my head with a laugh.
I leaned over the table and spoke gently, "Can I ask you more questions?" Sadie sipped her tea cautiously and nodded. I thought silently for a moment of the best way to ask what I wanted to know. I smiled when I came up with it. "Are you ever sneaky and stop taking your meds?"
Sadie lifted her eyebrow at me, "Yes. I've done it a few times."
"Why? I mean, you know that you need them, why stop?" I was surprised by her answer.
"Because you get to a point where you feel "normal" and think that you don't need to take them anymore. Don't get me wrong, I usually end up regretting it after a few days but sometimes I do it for the rush." Sadie stated plainly.
"Rush?" I inquired.
Sadie nodded shyly, "Yea." I stared at her with curiosity. "My mania gives me a rush most of the time. It's like getting on a roller coaster and then taking off the seat belt once you reach the top. Falling is just as fun, depending on which side of the mania I have. If I'm fun and spontaneous and...stuff, I love it. Even the times when the mania isn't the good one, when I'm irritable and unstable, that's a rush too. It's like hurtling toward the Earth with no parachute. Anyone that says they're not addicted to the rush of the mania is a liar. It's when you feel alive."
"And that's why when the depression sets in you wanna die?" I asked her softly, not wanting to upset her.
Sadie looked surprised, "Exactly." I nodded slowly and tried to process what she had told me. "Harry?" Sadie murmured. I looked up at her waiting for her to say something else. "It helps when you tell me what you're thinking. So I know what to lighten up on."
I shook my head, "No. I wanna know everything." Sadie appeared shocked again. "Is there a symptom that you have that makes it obvious you're going into the mania?" I asked. "Like, when you start sleeping a lot, we know that you might be sinking into depression. Is there a specific one for mania?'
Sadie turned bright red again, "Yes. Not one that Niall or anyone else knows. It's how I know." I stared at her intently, waiting for her to tell me. Sadie just stared back at me.
"What is it?" I inquired with a chuckle. She shook her head quickly. "Why not? I won't tell Niall if you don't want me to. I won't tell a single soul about it. It'll be between you and I."
She chewed on her lip, "I don't know. It might not be a good idea."
"Come on. No judgements. I wanna know because I wanna help you when you need it." I attempted to persuade her. Sadie sighed and lifted herself from her chair a little. She leaned over the table to me. I moved a bit closer.
Sadie then whispered in my ear, "I'm extremely horny. All of the time." Sadie's face was a fiery red as she sat down again. Our eyes were locked and there was tension between us.
"How..." I cleared my throat after my voice cracked a little. "How am I supposed to be able to know that?" I asked, trying to contain my own sudden arousal.
She shrugged, "I'll listen to music with more sexually driven lyrics. I'll watch more romantic movies than normal, ones with a lot of sex. Most of the time though, I'll be reading romance novels. I read all the time so Niall never thinks twice about it."
"But you guys dated, wouldn't he know because of that?" I was genuinely curious about it.
"No." Sadie giggled. "Niall and I never...we barely made it passed our first kiss. There was never any physical relationship between Niall and I. We kissed and it was whatever. But we tried the whole snogging thing and decided it was too much like kissing a sibling so we called it off." Sadie explained. I felt relief hearing that. It had been bothering me that maybe Niall had some unresolved feelings because of that part of their relationship.
"I'll take note of those. What should I do if I notice those changes in you?" I asked. Sadie seemed nervous again. "I mean on either side. Mania and depression. What do I do?"
"I don't like being alone or in the house all the time when I'm on a down cycle. So I guess spend time with me. Get me out of bed. Make me go places even if I say I don't want to. It keeps me from sitting in the dark and dwelling on the bad." She stated with a small smile.
"And when you're manic?" I urged her to go on.
She blushed, "I tend to stay in more when I'm manic. I cook. I clean. I read. I'm really creative and stuff. So again, just spending time with me. Being me cleaning supplies and things to cook for you. Bring me a book or a CD or a movie."
"Do you stay in more because of your...how you usually feel?" I asked not wanting to just blurt it back at her.
"Kind of. It's better if I stay away from bars and all when I feel like that. Especially if I've not taken my medication. I tend to be more compulsive when I'm manic and not medicated. So...don't want to just go home with some random person, you know?" Sadie was embarrassed now. It was like she'd done it before and it was a regret. I lifted my eyebrow at her for just a moment. I wasn't going to ask about it but she explained anyway. "Niall's stopped me from just hooking up with random guys before. Not my finest moments that's for sure." She giggled like she was trying to ease her own tension.
I nodded slowly, "I won't let you do that either." I couldn't help but think that one day, sometime soon, when she was on a high, she let me help her with that little issue. That she would run into my arms when she started to tingle in all of the right places. That she would demand sex from me in her altered mood. I tried to choke down my smile.



Sadie and I returned to her flat just before noon. Sadly we hadn't beaten Niall, Louis and Liam back. When Sadie opened the front door, Niall nearly rushed us.
"Where have you been DeeDee?" Niall asked loudly. Sadie winced a bit at his volume.
"Hey, Nialler, calm down. We went and got some tea because she didn't know when you would be coming over. She's fine." I say trying to get between them again.
"We went to get tea?" Niall asked me with a lifted eyebrow.
"Yes. I believe that's what I said." I chuckled quietly. I then felt Sadie's hand on my back. I glanced at her curiously. She appeared worried.
"Declan said that you didn't go home last night. Declan also said that you were her boyfriend." Niall sounded more than upset with me.
"I let Sadie hang on me the other night when I brought her home. Declan hits on her all of the time and she doesn't like it. I thought maybe it would deter him from hitting on her. And I didn't go to my own house last night because I fell asleep on the sofa as well." I fibbed slightly. No way was I going to tell Niall that Sadie and I moved to her bed.
"You're full of shit Harry." Niall sneered at me. "I went into her room looking for her. I saw the bed." I groaned quietly when Niall took a step toward me. Sadie quickly moved between us.
"Niall, get in the bedroom." Sadie commanded, pushing against his chest. "Go. Get." She urged him. Niall glared at me for a moment longer then turned as Sadie instructed. "Harry, go sit down. We'll be out in a minute." I nodded gently. Sadie stood on her toes and kissed my cheek lightly. I smiled before doing as she asked of me.

I sat down on the small sofa that Sadie and I occupied the previous day. I heard Sadie's bedroom door slam and her start to yell at Niall. Still, I couldn't help but smile. She kissed my cheek. Yeah, it wasn't much but it was something. She wasn't keen on physical contact but she'd been letting me hug her and touch her for most of the morning. Sadie cuddled me for a good long while when we woke up and she kept getting closer to me while she did.
"Harry, is there a reason that you are smiling like an idiot?" Louis asked, snapping me out of my thoughts of the morning spent with Sadie. "Niall and DeeDee are in there arguing and you look like a fool." Louis teased me.
"I'm in trouble because I spent the night." I replied quietly.
"Again." Louis chuckled. I rolled my eyes and threw my phone down on the coffee table.
"Wait, what?" Liam appeared confused.
"I spent the night here with Sadie. Niall isn't happy." I summed up for him, even though I knew that wasn't what he was talking about.
"For the second time. He stayed over the night of Niall's last party as well. And he took DeeDee out on a date the night before last." Louis informed Liam. I tensed almost instantly. I didn't want it to be common knowledge. Sadie was having a hard enough time with Niall at the moment. Liam looked at me with a dropped jaw.
"You don't say a word. Sadie needs things to be alright with Niall." I warned Liam with a stern voice.
Liam nodded, "But I have to ask, with you spending the night..."
"It's not like that, Liam. I've not touched her." I snapped quietly.
"Then why are you smiling like that?" Liam laughed.
"Because she's different. It's not like that." I replied quickly when I heard Sadie's bedroom door open. I didn't want Niall or Sadie hearing the conversation. I didn't need Niall flipping out on me. And I wanted to take things slow with Sadie. She needed me to take it slow.

Niall flopped onto the couch beside Louis with his arms folded over his chest. I tried not to smile again when Sadie sat down next to me. She sat so close to me that our thighs were nearly touching. I knew it wouldn't have meant much if someone else had done it but with Sadie, it meant everything. I put my arm over the back of the couch behind her. I wanted to put my arm around her, comfort her because she seemed so angry. Instead, I brushed my knuckles up and down her spine like I did when we were laying in bed that morning.
"You guys can watch television or do whatever you want." Sadie said to Louis, Liam, Niall and I. Liam and Louis lunged for the drawer with the movies. "Do you guys want snacks or anything?" Sadie inquired of Louis and Liam. They both nodded quickly. Sadie giggled and stood.
"I'll help." I smiled, standing right after she did. Sadie gave a single nod and led me toward the kitchen.
"Is everything alright?" I whispered to Sadie as we entered the kitchen. She just smiled weakly at me. "Come on. Its okay to tell me. Niall and I have gotten into arguments before. We can handle it. What's wrong?" I kept my voice quiet.
"He's worried about you and me being alone. He's just being the over protective big brother. Don't let it bother you." She stated with a reassuring smile.
"I'm still going to talk to him though. I don't like him jumping down your throat." I replied. Sadie sighed quietly and went about finding snacks for everyone.


Sadie was laying on the sofa with me, much to Niall's dislike. I had my back against the arm rest of the sofa while Sadie was laying between my legs with her back pressed to my chest. We were playing a game on my phone while Niall, Louis and Liam were watching a movie we weren't that interested in. Sadie giggled when I cursed under my breath. I couldn't figure out another pattern for the game while Sadie had an idea every time it was her turn.
"HARRY!" Sadie squealed when I slapped her hand out of my way. "I'm trying to help you!" She giggled when I kept moving her hands out of the way. I poked her in the side to make her drop her arms. She squealed again, grabbing my wrist.
"Stop it. I can do it." I laughed quietly. Sadie looked up at me with joy filled eyes as her head rested back on my shoulder. I held her tighter and attempted to play our game again. After taking my turn, I glanced over at Niall, Louis and Liam. Surprisingly, all of them were smiling, even Niall.


I looked down at Sadie and noticed a change in her eyes. I followed her line of sight and sighed quietly. There was a small mess on the table. A mess that wouldn't bother most people but to Sadie, it was like the world was crashing down. She got up from the sofa quickly. I grabbed her hand and pulled her down on top of me.
"Harry, I have to clean up." Sadie whispered to me. Her breathing had become labored and she was tense.
I shook my head, "No. You don't. It can wait until they leave." Sadie looked like she was about to cry and she started to struggle to get away from me. "Sadie. Sadie. Baby. Look at me." I murmured to her. Her eyes fell on mine, pleading for me to let her go. "Just look at me. Focus on my eyes. Let everything else just fade away. Listen to my voice." She started to calm slightly. "It's just you and me on this sofa. Nothing else is important. Just you and me." I spoke calmly and slowly. Sadie's eyes were set on mine and I felt like she was really seeing me.
"You're eyes are beautiful." She whispered touching my cheek gently. I smiled and kissed her forehead sweetly. She laid her head down on my chest. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was steady again. She went back to watching television like nothing had ever happened. I glanced over to see Niall was staring at me in awe. I didn't want to gloat so I contained my smile and twisted my fingers through Sadie's hair.
"Harry, can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?" Niall asked suddenly. I nodded and wiggled out from under a super relaxed Sadie. I followed Niall into the kitchen. "How in the hell did you do that? Normally, she would've freaked out. She has to clean up messes." Niall was shaken.
I shrugged, "She said that she freaks out and feels like the world is spinning and she can't focus when her OCD kicks in. I just tried to switch her focus. I thought it was worth a try."
"She told you about what is wrong with her?" Niall was flabbergasted.
"There isn't anything wrong with her." I snapped.
Niall sighed heavily, "I know. I didn't mean it like that. But she told you about the bipolar and anxiety and OCD?" I nodded but stayed silent. "Harry, don't mess with her. She can't handle it. If you want to be more that her friend, walk away. It won't end well and I cannot be made to choose." Sadie then raced into the kitchen. She looked Niall over thoroughly then examined me.
"Sadie, what are you doing?" I laughed.
"I didn't clean it up. It didn't get done." She sounded so worried.
I grabbed her shoulders as she stared up at me, "Hey. It's alright. I'm still here. Niall is still here. Everything is okay. Its just a little water on the table. Louis can't help the condensation on his cup." Sadie nodded when I kissed her hair again and rubbed her back.
"Harry." Niall spoke quietly to me. I looked up from Sadie's worried but beautiful face to his. "Do you want to come to Christmas at my parents?" Niall inquired. Sadie snapped her head around and there was a light in her eyes again. She then turned her eyes up to my face. I glanced down at her for just a moment. There was a touch of hopefulness in the way she stared up at me. She wanted me to say yes to the invitation.
"Yeah. I do. I miss Bobby." I chuckled, trying to play it cool. I mostly wanted to go because I was going to get to spend that much more time with Sadie.
"Okay. I'll call my mom and Sadie's mum, let them know that you're joining." Niall stated before walking out of the kitchen, leaving me alone with Sadie.
"He invited you to Christmas." Sadie beamed up at me. I nodded. "I'm glad you said yes. I like being around you." Sadie stated shyly.
"I never would've guessed that." I teased before kissing her forehead again. Sadie giggled and hugged me around my waist.

Notes

Comments

@Styles girl 4eva
❤️

Ahhhh I’m so happy !!! I can’t wait for more updates xo I’m so glad you’re back!

@JasperRenee
Yay! It makes me happy to know that you still like these stories and actually care. ❤️

@morrison_hotel
I always do!

@JasperRenee
Thanks lovely girl. ❤️ I hope you liked it