Fireproof (Book 4 in the No Control Series)

“I love your apartment, Sara. I’m so glad your company transferred you to England.”
“Me too, Liz. So, what’s up?”
“What makes you think something is up?”
“I know you. The only person who knows you better than me, is Liam. And I don’t want to know you the way he does, if you know what I mean.”
Liz rolls her eyes. “Maybe I’m not happy you’re in England now.”
“Haha, spill it Mrs. Payne. What’s bothering you?”
“I ran into Harry’s friend, Alice, the other day.”
“Oh, speaking of Harry.” Sara hands Liz a magazine.
Liz looks at the pictures of Harry with a model, then reads the accompanying article.
“Wow.” Sara says.
Liz looks up. “What?”
“That look on your face. Jealous much?”
Liz shakes her head. “Sara, you are being ridiculous.”
“Am I...Lizzie?”
Liz’s head shoots up, giving Sara a glare.
“What? Is he the only one who can call you that?”
Liz tosses the magazine on the table, turning away from her friend.
“Crap, Liz are you crying? I’m sorry, I was just teasing.”
“It’s not you, Sara. I just...I don’t know.”
“Come sit at the table, I’ll make us some tea. It’s my understanding that over here, tea fixes everything. You’re an honorary Brit, it that true?”
Liz smiles. “It certainly doesn’t hurt.”

Sara sets their tea on the table. “Alright, what’s wrong? Is it Liam?”
Liz shakes her head. “No, he is the one thing I have no doubt about, ever.”
“You did look pretty jealous when you saw that magazine.”
“Honestly, I do feel a little jealous sometimes when Harry is with another woman. I don’t know why though, I’m happy with my life.”
“Look Liz, you and I weren’t exactly Miss Popularity in college. Do you think that maybe you're just enjoying the attention from two handsome men? I don’t mean that as bad, it’s just not something you’ve experienced before.”
“I don’t know, maybe. How horrible of me though; I can’t give you what you want from me but I don’t want you with anyone else either. What kind of monster am I?”
“You are not a monster, Liz. If you were, Harry and Liam wouldn’t feel the way they do about you.”
“I still free bad.”
“Liz, do you love Harry?”
She sighs. “I do love Harry, but not the way that I love Liam. Does that make sense?”
“It does. I’m pretty sure our hearts aren’t programmed to only love one person.”
“It’s the hardest thing. I love my life, and I don’t feel guilty about it, by any means. However, I do feel bad that my happiness hurts Harry. He’s an incredible person who deserves to be happy, truly happy. And that’s what I told Alice.”
“That’s right, you said you saw her. What did she say?”
“She told me that Harry shared parts of his journal with her. She thought I needed to know that he still loves me.”
“Wow. What does this journal say?”
“Alice described it as him talking about how much loving me hurts him and makes him happy all at the same time.”
“Shit.”
“Exactly. She also insinuated that I’m leading him on, and that I should let him go.”
“You don’t lead him on, Liz.”
“Thank you. I’ve always been honest with him.”
“Does Harry know that Alice talked to you about the journal?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Liz, I think right now you need to let this all go, and focus on that little one inside you. Harry wouldn’t want you stressed.”
“Thanks, Sara. I knew you’d make me feel better. I guess I am happy you’re in England after all.” Liz grins.

Notes