Homesick
Ch.3
H.P.O.V.
I've been worried about Mia since her impromptu arrival. She had been so collected and poised during the ceremony and her speech was incredible. She didn't quiver with sadness, she wasn't shaking while sobbing.
My Mia had grown and matured so much I wasn't sure she was the same person. She didn't look like she was, though I know she is by her eyes. They're still as warm and enchanting as ever. Enough to make me forget about any other color besides her warm honey ones.
She had a lot of family to get through tonight. So many aunts and uncles who brought along her cousins and their children being held by their significant others. Friends of the family, friends of those friends and office workers. Hell, even some of the janitorial team was even present. All of them giving their solemn condolences, tight hugs, and brief kisses.
There was so much black and tears. There were enough flowers to fill a field. The fridge was full of casseroles, cakes, and pastas.
It was a day of celebrating a good man, his life, accomplishments, his love for his family and workers.
And Mia was trying, I know she was. She would smile politely, nod at all of the appropriate times during conversations she didn't give a shit about. She answered everything as best she could. She'd look at me for help when the business questions began, she squeezed my hand as our fingers stayed locked, and she'd rest her head on my chest as my arm rested around her shoulders, our hands still clasped.
We stayed close together even though she didn't say much to me. She was lost in her thoughts. She was always looking away, her eyes tried and dim. My Mia was bound to crack and my only fear was not being there to hold her.
"Harry?" She whispers softly finally looking back at me. Her eyes are sad and I want to wrap her in my arms until they start shining the way they usually do.
I nod, "Hi gorgeous," my torso is still pressed against her back as she rests her head on my chest her hand still holding mine tightly.
I thought she'd let go, that she'd start to notice the looks we have been getting by our close proximity. But no, she didn't stray too far from me and everyone noticed. Even her ex boyfriend who was glaring at me.
The women would stare wondering why I was so gentle with her. I had never shown such affection to them, to anyone really. It was simple: They didn't matter the way she did. They weren't her.
She sighs, "I'm going to go rest, okay? Do you mind holding down the fort?"
"Are you sure? I could go with you, keep you company?" She shakes her head and I feel the disappointment strongly. "Okay, go have a sleep love. I'll be here if you need me, but I'll probably come check on you anyway."
She runs her fingers through her hair and stands away from me, leaving me empty and upset with our distances. She just came back. That's why I want to be near her all the time. She's young, she needs me.
She bends down to kiss my cheek, "Thank you, H." She walks away then, doesn't bother to look back.She climbs the spiral staircase and when she's out of my eyesight I stand to grab a drink.
"Your affection with her is inappropriate," James blubbers behind me.
I turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Really?"
He's a boy, only twenty-two. He couldn't take care of her even if he had superpowers. She needs more than he can give, which isn't much.
"Yes, it's shameful."
"I don't have time for this James. Please go and irritate someone else with your jealous opinions."
"Me jealous? Of what? Mia's still mine. I have nothing to be jealous of."
My fist clench. Mia's not his. She's not a possession and even if she were she was mine first.
Before I can stop myself I say, "If that were true then why weren't you the one next to her all day? Why wasn't she holding your hand?" His silence makes me smirk, I've hit soft spot. I'm not sorry. "You want to know why? Because she was holding mine as I stood next to her. I didn't have to go to her. She came to me." It was a petty thing to say and at the same time I don't care.
"Enjoy it while it lasts, soon I'll be buried within her just like I used to be." My eyes see red, my fist connects with his eye. Everyone gasps and gapes at the scene, Niall is quick at my side holding me back from giving the boy his much deserved beatings. "Who's the jealous dick now," he taunts while holding his eyes. He walks away with a smirk that has me trying to reach for him and Niall's hand on my shoulder to tighten.
I pull away from him and leave with my head down. I don't need to see the questioning glares, and judgement. I know they're there. I know they're trying to see through me.
So instead I walk to Mia’s room and knock. When I don't hear a response I open the door and find her folding paper into planes. I forget the incident from downstairs and all the unnecessary stares when she quickly wipes her eyes before she looks up at me. No amount of wiping will take away the red tint or the puffy ness. I wish she wouldn't care and that she wouldn't try her fake smile with me.
“Mia--”
She shakes her head and looks away continuing with her prior activity. “I'm fine.”
“It's okay if you're not.” I approach her slowly and sit beside her. I have to tread slowly if I want a proper reaction from her. “Mia, your dad wouldn't want you to hold it in.”
“I'm okay,” she insists trying to make me believe her. I don't. “I was just about to head down, actually.”
She begins to stand and when she's in front of me I grab her wrist before she can walk away. She stops her movements and meets my gaze with her somber one. “Mia, it's me remember? You used to trust me.”
Have things really changed that much? Has Mia forgotten what we used to mean to each other? The overall conclusion is that it is entirely possible. I could be a thing of the past for her and it wouldn't matter that I still wanted her in my future.
“Harry, I do trust you.” She sits besides me like she's trying to further prove her point. “I'm okay,” she says resting her shaking hand on mine.
“You're not okay,” I grip her hand gently and entwine my fingers with her.
“No,” she whispers. Her hand goes limp in mine and her head drops to rest on my shoulder.
I regret ever pushing her to feel something when her face crumbles and the tears begin to fall. I want to hit myself when I feel her sadness against my neck. I release her hand and wrap it around her waist. I pull her onto my lap and hold her close. Her arms go around my neck as she holds onto me as she cries.
I squeeze my eyes shut when her body shakes. Feeling someone else's pain with them is enough to take me down. It's a new feeling that is messing with my head and making my heart beat rapidly and my chest constrict.
“Oh, Mia.” I kiss the side of her head holding her as she tries to calm herself down. “Okay, gorgeous, it's okay.”
Her sobs settle and she cups her cheek wiping away her tears. “I'm sorry,” she mumbles wiping the water from her face. “Thank you so much for being here with him. For being his family.”
“I'm your family too,” I kiss her hair. “Your dad was my best friend and I'm going to miss him everyday, but having you home makes it easier because I see him in you. Because I see everything good that was in him in you.”
She shakes her head, “If I was anything like him I would've come home sooner. The last time I saw him wouldn't have been two months ago. Let's be honest, Harry, I'm nothing compared to my dad.”
“Mia--”
“We should go down stairs.”
I nod with a sigh and stand. “Okay Mia.”
She inhales a deep breath and before she can move completely away from me I take her hand and hold it in mine. I just want to keep her close right now. Only for now. She looks at me wide eyed and for a second my heart quickens thinking I've gone too far until she squeezes my hand and continues on her way leading us both to the wolves.
“Mia, darling,” we both turn at the voice.
“Uncle Lou,” she smiles walking towards the smiling man who is holding his arms out wide open. He wraps them around her and I without knowing why I frown at the closeness. I am loosing it. “When did you get here?”
“Just a bit ago baby girl. How's my angel holding up?”
“I feel like sh-- I’m okay. Thank you for coming.”
“Your father was my best friend darling and for a reason I was made your god father. I couldn't just not come to make sure you were okay.”
I walk away from the hugging pair and over to Niall who is smirking at me like the idiot he is.
“What?” I snap after I have enough of his stare.”
“You are so fucked,” his smirk fades away and that is how I know Niall knows. I think he knows before I am allowing myself to realize it. Maybe I'll still have if a chance. Maybe I can fight it. I need to.
I've been worried about Mia since her impromptu arrival. She had been so collected and poised during the ceremony and her speech was incredible. She didn't quiver with sadness, she wasn't shaking while sobbing.
My Mia had grown and matured so much I wasn't sure she was the same person. She didn't look like she was, though I know she is by her eyes. They're still as warm and enchanting as ever. Enough to make me forget about any other color besides her warm honey ones.
She had a lot of family to get through tonight. So many aunts and uncles who brought along her cousins and their children being held by their significant others. Friends of the family, friends of those friends and office workers. Hell, even some of the janitorial team was even present. All of them giving their solemn condolences, tight hugs, and brief kisses.
There was so much black and tears. There were enough flowers to fill a field. The fridge was full of casseroles, cakes, and pastas.
It was a day of celebrating a good man, his life, accomplishments, his love for his family and workers.
And Mia was trying, I know she was. She would smile politely, nod at all of the appropriate times during conversations she didn't give a shit about. She answered everything as best she could. She'd look at me for help when the business questions began, she squeezed my hand as our fingers stayed locked, and she'd rest her head on my chest as my arm rested around her shoulders, our hands still clasped.
We stayed close together even though she didn't say much to me. She was lost in her thoughts. She was always looking away, her eyes tried and dim. My Mia was bound to crack and my only fear was not being there to hold her.
"Harry?" She whispers softly finally looking back at me. Her eyes are sad and I want to wrap her in my arms until they start shining the way they usually do.
I nod, "Hi gorgeous," my torso is still pressed against her back as she rests her head on my chest her hand still holding mine tightly.
I thought she'd let go, that she'd start to notice the looks we have been getting by our close proximity. But no, she didn't stray too far from me and everyone noticed. Even her ex boyfriend who was glaring at me.
The women would stare wondering why I was so gentle with her. I had never shown such affection to them, to anyone really. It was simple: They didn't matter the way she did. They weren't her.
She sighs, "I'm going to go rest, okay? Do you mind holding down the fort?"
"Are you sure? I could go with you, keep you company?" She shakes her head and I feel the disappointment strongly. "Okay, go have a sleep love. I'll be here if you need me, but I'll probably come check on you anyway."
She runs her fingers through her hair and stands away from me, leaving me empty and upset with our distances. She just came back. That's why I want to be near her all the time. She's young, she needs me.
She bends down to kiss my cheek, "Thank you, H." She walks away then, doesn't bother to look back.She climbs the spiral staircase and when she's out of my eyesight I stand to grab a drink.
"Your affection with her is inappropriate," James blubbers behind me.
I turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Really?"
He's a boy, only twenty-two. He couldn't take care of her even if he had superpowers. She needs more than he can give, which isn't much.
"Yes, it's shameful."
"I don't have time for this James. Please go and irritate someone else with your jealous opinions."
"Me jealous? Of what? Mia's still mine. I have nothing to be jealous of."
My fist clench. Mia's not his. She's not a possession and even if she were she was mine first.
Before I can stop myself I say, "If that were true then why weren't you the one next to her all day? Why wasn't she holding your hand?" His silence makes me smirk, I've hit soft spot. I'm not sorry. "You want to know why? Because she was holding mine as I stood next to her. I didn't have to go to her. She came to me." It was a petty thing to say and at the same time I don't care.
"Enjoy it while it lasts, soon I'll be buried within her just like I used to be." My eyes see red, my fist connects with his eye. Everyone gasps and gapes at the scene, Niall is quick at my side holding me back from giving the boy his much deserved beatings. "Who's the jealous dick now," he taunts while holding his eyes. He walks away with a smirk that has me trying to reach for him and Niall's hand on my shoulder to tighten.
I pull away from him and leave with my head down. I don't need to see the questioning glares, and judgement. I know they're there. I know they're trying to see through me.
So instead I walk to Mia’s room and knock. When I don't hear a response I open the door and find her folding paper into planes. I forget the incident from downstairs and all the unnecessary stares when she quickly wipes her eyes before she looks up at me. No amount of wiping will take away the red tint or the puffy ness. I wish she wouldn't care and that she wouldn't try her fake smile with me.
“Mia--”
She shakes her head and looks away continuing with her prior activity. “I'm fine.”
“It's okay if you're not.” I approach her slowly and sit beside her. I have to tread slowly if I want a proper reaction from her. “Mia, your dad wouldn't want you to hold it in.”
“I'm okay,” she insists trying to make me believe her. I don't. “I was just about to head down, actually.”
She begins to stand and when she's in front of me I grab her wrist before she can walk away. She stops her movements and meets my gaze with her somber one. “Mia, it's me remember? You used to trust me.”
Have things really changed that much? Has Mia forgotten what we used to mean to each other? The overall conclusion is that it is entirely possible. I could be a thing of the past for her and it wouldn't matter that I still wanted her in my future.
“Harry, I do trust you.” She sits besides me like she's trying to further prove her point. “I'm okay,” she says resting her shaking hand on mine.
“You're not okay,” I grip her hand gently and entwine my fingers with her.
“No,” she whispers. Her hand goes limp in mine and her head drops to rest on my shoulder.
I regret ever pushing her to feel something when her face crumbles and the tears begin to fall. I want to hit myself when I feel her sadness against my neck. I release her hand and wrap it around her waist. I pull her onto my lap and hold her close. Her arms go around my neck as she holds onto me as she cries.
I squeeze my eyes shut when her body shakes. Feeling someone else's pain with them is enough to take me down. It's a new feeling that is messing with my head and making my heart beat rapidly and my chest constrict.
“Oh, Mia.” I kiss the side of her head holding her as she tries to calm herself down. “Okay, gorgeous, it's okay.”
Her sobs settle and she cups her cheek wiping away her tears. “I'm sorry,” she mumbles wiping the water from her face. “Thank you so much for being here with him. For being his family.”
“I'm your family too,” I kiss her hair. “Your dad was my best friend and I'm going to miss him everyday, but having you home makes it easier because I see him in you. Because I see everything good that was in him in you.”
She shakes her head, “If I was anything like him I would've come home sooner. The last time I saw him wouldn't have been two months ago. Let's be honest, Harry, I'm nothing compared to my dad.”
“Mia--”
“We should go down stairs.”
I nod with a sigh and stand. “Okay Mia.”
She inhales a deep breath and before she can move completely away from me I take her hand and hold it in mine. I just want to keep her close right now. Only for now. She looks at me wide eyed and for a second my heart quickens thinking I've gone too far until she squeezes my hand and continues on her way leading us both to the wolves.
“Mia, darling,” we both turn at the voice.
“Uncle Lou,” she smiles walking towards the smiling man who is holding his arms out wide open. He wraps them around her and I without knowing why I frown at the closeness. I am loosing it. “When did you get here?”
“Just a bit ago baby girl. How's my angel holding up?”
“I feel like sh-- I’m okay. Thank you for coming.”
“Your father was my best friend darling and for a reason I was made your god father. I couldn't just not come to make sure you were okay.”
I walk away from the hugging pair and over to Niall who is smirking at me like the idiot he is.
“What?” I snap after I have enough of his stare.”
“You are so fucked,” his smirk fades away and that is how I know Niall knows. I think he knows before I am allowing myself to realize it. Maybe I'll still have if a chance. Maybe I can fight it. I need to.
Notes
Ily
V&C pls
