Clash

We got out at the same time and he was casually walking beside me towards the building and this felt just weird and I still wanted to know how he had found me, as I threw out my phone and there wasn’t anything he could trace me with. “Harry?” I waited for him to respond but he just turned his head towards me. “How did you find me?” That’s when his eyes softened, he actually looked like he was still in love with me. “I will always find you Anna.” He didn’t say more but he didn’t need to. I felt sick and ashamed of myself and the way I had acted whilst he was away. I should have never turned to Niall but that was a little too late.

We stood in front of my door and as I turned the key, Harry stopped me by putting his hand over mine, which was visibly trembling. “Do you want me to come in with you?” I shook my head because that was the last thing I needed right now. “No thank you.” I said to him and he pulled his hands back as if he had burned himself. He took a step back and watched me open my door and as I turned around to see him walk away I couldn’t help myself. “Harry wait.” He stopped but didn’t turn because he knew I wasn’t going to ask him to come inside.

“I’m so sorry.” I said quietly to him and I saw the nod of his head before he walked away. I walked back into my apartment and took a deep breath before I let myself fall on the couch. I wasn’t planning on moving so I just grabbed the remote control of the tv and switched it on. I needed something to watch that took my mind of this all. I thought I could start over but apparently that wasn’t going to happen because the past kept haunting me. I mean Bradley isn’t going to leave me alone and Harry will always be watching me from the shadows and in the meantime he is disgusted by me. Can’t blame him because well I am the one who slept with Niall in the first place and I can safely say that I don’t regret that night one bit, the only thing I regret is hurting Niall and apparently Harry in the process, that wasn’t fair of me.

I ordered pizza, just because I didn’t feel to cook today. I’m also slightly nervous because tomorrow I’m heading back to Uni. and with how everything is going, this is bound to be a disaster. I was taken out of my thoughts when the bell rung, it actually made me fall from my couch because I was startled as hell. I quickly scrambled up and opened the door and I wasn’t shocked to see it was Harry who was holding the pizzabox. I lifted one eyebrow “Where is the pizza deliverer?” I asked him, whilst looking passed him but I saw nobody.

“I thought I carry it up for you.” He shrugged and pushed me back inside my house. “You owe me £7,25.” He said with a hint of a smile in his voice, so I wasn’t sure if he was being serious. “I.” I wanted to say something but I actually was speechless, so I closed my mouth again. Harry put the box on the table and walked to the kitchen and I could hear him grab plates. I just sat down and waited for him to return, my brains were completely shut down, it was a weird state for me to be in but there you had it. I just let it happen, I watched him walk back to the couch and sit down at the couch, he was opening the box and grabbed a slice of pizza, which he handed to me and I just took it. It was like he belonged here on my couch, he didn’t seem as dark anymore, the way he was taking care of me, it was the weirdest thing ever.

I took a bite and kept watching him and eventually it must’ve made him nervous because he stopped eating and fixed his eyes on me. “What?” he asked and my brain was still not working because the only thing I could do was shrug and I continued eating my pizza and just watched what was on the tv. I know he was looking at me but there was no way in hell that I would turn back to him. I could feel shivers running up and down my body and as he sat a bit closer, I even got goose bumps. I ignored it all but this proved that whatever it was I had with Niall, it was nothing compared what I apparently still have with Harry and I really was hoping he felt the same but I wasn’t going to ask him because that would just be asking for trouble and I didn’t want to be dragged in that stuff again, not while Bradley still walked this earth. That made me think of a brilliant plan even though it meant getting close to him but if I could earn his trust and make him fall for me, it would be the perfect revenge.

Harry must have noticed the change in my position because he was alarmed all of a sudden. He grabbed my face and turned it towards him. “What are you planning Anna?” He narrowed his eyes, just like he did in the past but it didn’t scare me anymore. “Who said I was planning something, I’m just eating my pizza.” I shrugged and tried to pull my head out his hands but he only tightened his hold. “Don’t give me that bullshit.” He said through clenched teeth. “You forget that I KNOW you Anna, so spill!” he commanded but I wasn’t having it. I pulled the gun from my waistband and pointed it on his chest.

“Let go off me.” I threatened and as he kept staring at me, he slowly let go of my head, he even moved to the other side of the couch. “Don’t ever talk to me like that again. I’m not the same person I was when you first met me, you made sure of that, remember?” I asked him in a dead voice. If I didn’t know him better, I would think there was regret in his eyes but it vanished when I looked again.

“I remember, you know what I also remember?” he asked but I was clueless so I shrugged as I put the gun back. “I don’t know what you remember Harry.” I said feeling really annoyed with him. “I remember that you once told me you loved me.” I was stunned into silence because I’d never had thought he would bring that up again because to be honest I didn’t think he wanted to remember that. “Yeah you told me the same.” I tried to dismiss it, as if that wasn’t important. “I do.” I heard him whisper before he got up from the couch. He made his way to the door, when his words caught up with my dysfunctional brain. When those words hit me, they hit me hard. I felt the tears form behind my eyes and I had never got up this fast. “Wait, what do you mean?” I asked him but he didn’t turn around and I watched him walk out of the door.

I felt like a complete idiot. My heart was beating like crazy and I never thought I would feel this way about Harry again. I thought I had moved on from him but here I was, falling again. Making the same mistakes, falling in love with a criminal, the only difference is that I’m also a criminal. I sighed and walked back to my my couch and as I was looking at my pizza I realized that I wasn’t hungry anymore, so I just threw it away. I looked at the clock and decided that it was late enough to go to bed. Maybe I could get some sleep before college but I was afraid that this would be a big failure and I wasn’t wrong about it because hours later I was still staring at the ceiling. I gave up and got up, not exactly knowing what to do with myself, I decided on taking a long hot shower, maybe that would make me tired. My mind was still racing from what Harry said earlier, I couldn’t wrap my head around it, I mean he tried to kill me and now he is saying he still loves me, what is that all about?

It just doesn’t make any sense. I got out of the shower and found myself sitting behind my piano, I hadn’t played since I moved here and now I felt drawn to it. I caressed the keys and after just staring in front of me, I finally started to play a piece and that’s when I lost all senses. All I could do was get lost in the music, I let it consume me. I’m not sure how long I played but my back was aching and my fingers were cramped from playing. I got up and stretched before looking at my phone for the exact time and was shocked to see it was already 6am. How could I have played for more then five hours, without noticing it? I shook my head and decided to get dressed because it was no use to go back to bed as college would start in two hours.

I put on black skinny jeans and my white sweater, I didn’t like to put on my glasses but I know it was necessary but I refused to wear the beanie I had laid out. I put my hair into a messy bun and put on some make-up. I wasn’t planning on hiding myself and if Bradley recognized me, well that was to bad but something told me, he wasn’t going to recognize me because he was that stupid. After dressing I made breakfast, nothing too heavy as I still wasn’t hungry, I settled for a smoothie and some tea.

I packed my bag for college, putting some sheet music in it and a pen, with notebook. I put my Macbook in the bag and an adapter and that was all I had to bring with me. I still had to kill an hour before I had to be at college so I decided to go to Starbucks to wake up properly, not that I was sleepy for some reason but I couldn’t fall asleep in the midst of class so coffee it was.

Notes