Clash

I'm not sure how much time had passed since we said goodbye to Harry but I know I wasn't coping with it as I should. I wasn't strong. Most of the time I was crying in Harry's bed and I let nobody comfort me because I didn't want to be comforted. I know I drove the guys totally crazy with my behavior but they did nothing to change it. So I kept lying here in bed and doing absolutely nothing more then stare at the ceiling.

The only reason I got out of bed was to go to the toilet and maybe have a shower, although I'm not sure when the last time was that I showered but then again who cares right? I know the guys put food in front of the door but I never touched it because I just wasn't hungry. I felt lifeless and I know there was a moment I had to snap out of it but that day wasn't today. I know I should make plans to get revenge for Harry's dead, I should be a leader to Harry's gang but that was never my forte.

I closed my eyes as I was beginning to get tired, which was weird as I haven't done anything productive but yeah I'm still feeling tired, maybe it was because of the lack of sleep I got at night. I was suffering from night terrors, which made me violently sick so most of the time I stayed awake, not sure how I did that though but it worked.

"Anna?" I heard Niall softly say, I didn't feel the need to respond, normally that would make them turn around and walk away, this time he didn't though. I heard him open the door and according to his footsteps he was confidently walking towards my bed. He stopped next to were I was lying, he was just staring at me, as if that would get me out of bed. "Anna, you can't stay here forever!" He sounded worried and something else which I couldn't place.

I opened my eyes to look at him without much interest. "Go away" I said but he wasn't moving but his expression changed and before I know what was happening he grabbed the mattress and lifted it from my bed, making me roll down to the floor. "WHAT THE FUCK NIALL!" I yelled when I finally hit the ground. "FINALLY!" he yelled and I didn't really know what he meant with that but it was annoying. "CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled, I was on fire, it was like my sadness had exploded into rage and the only thing he could do was smile at me, with his piercing blue eyes. "No, I'm done leaving you alone, you are not the only one who is hurting you know." I felt the shame wash over me when he said that because he was right about that.

"You didn't loose the love of your life, there is no point for me to continue my life without him Niall." I saw pain flicker through his eyes but he quickly recovered himself. "Anna, we get it, believe me we do but Harry wouldn't want you to stop living your life just because he is dead." Niall said as he sat down in front of me at the ground. I felt the tears before I noticed that I was crying and before I could do anything, Niall had pulled me into his arms.

He rocked me back and forth as he tried to sooth me. He did sooth me but I couldn't help thinking about Harry and the way he comforted me and this gesture of Niall made me feel uncomfortable. It felt like I was cheating on Harry and I know that technically this isn't possible as he died but it still didn't feel right. I pulled myself out of that hug and gave Niall an apologetic smile.

I got up from the floor and put the mattress back on the bed. Niall was keeping his eye on me, making sure I wasn't going back to bed. "I'm going to take a shower okay?" I asked him, not that I needed permission but maybe he would leave me alone. "Okay, I will see you in 15 minutes in the kitchen." I opened my mouth to protest but he held up his hand. "I'm serious Anna, if you're not downstairs within 15 minutes I will throw you over my shoulder and carry you downstairs myself." He threatened.

I nodded, letting him know I understood him and made my way into my bathroom. I quickly jumped in the shower making sure it was warm enough as it was cold outside. I really needed to check the month, I thought whilst getting in the shower. I felt my muscles relax during the shower. I got out of the shower 5 minutes later and quickly dressed myself in clean pyjamas. I brushed my teeth and put my hair into a ponytail before stepping out.

I walked downstairs and heard whispered conversations coming from the living room. I decided to listen in on them because they were obviously talking about me. "How did you do it Niall?" I think it was Louis who asked him this. "I just lifted the mattress, which made her roll on the floor." He sounded nonchalant, as if it wasn't a big deal at all. "And she didn't do a thing about it? Because if it were me, I would kick your arse." In normal situation I would do the exact same thing but as this wasn't a normal situation, I just yelled. "She yelled at me, I'm surprised you guys didn't hear that." I could imagine them shrugging. "So is she coming down then?" This was definitely Liam. "Yes I threatened her and told that if she wasn't coming down in 15 minutes I would get her myself." I still thought he was an ass for doing that. "She listened to you?" Liam sounded surprised. "She did, I was convincing I guess." Why did Liam sound so surprised that I listened to Niall, I mean I wasn't planning on testing his threat.

"Does she know, what Harry did before, you know?" Louis asked and now I was wondering what Harry had done. "I don't know actually but who cares, she isn't fit for any form of leadership." Leadership? What the hell were they talking about? "Someone has to tell her sooner or later." Liam said and I was agreeing with that segment because this made me curious as hell.

"I will tell her but not now and speaking of which, I should see if she's in the kitchen." Niall's voice was getting louder, so I hurried into the kitchen and took a seat at the counter top. They all came barging in and halted when they saw me. I gave them a small smile.

"Hi"

Notes