Winter

He pulled me against him gently and he put on hand on the side of my face in a caressing way and kissed me softly on the lips. It was like we were the only ones in the room. The sun burst through the window as if it was meant to be and the moment he pulled back, I could see his love for me in his blue eyes, which were lighter then I had ever seen them before.

That’s when I heard cheering and that is what pulled us back to the room. We smiled at our witnesses. We were actually married now, which was a weird thing to be honest because in our own world this would never have happened at least not this fast but now I just didn’t mind anymore. It was as if all my worries had disappeared, just by doing this. Niall squeezed my hand gently, to make me pay attention to the people in the room but that was hard when you are totally in zone with the one next to you.

“May I be the first to congratulate you as Lord and Lady Horan.” John walked towards us with outstretched hands. We grabbed his hands and shook them firmly but when I looked at him, something was off, there wasn’t real happiness in his eyes but it was more like he was jealous.

“Thank you John.” We smiled at him but I pulled my hand out of his hold and mingled between the guests. Niall had caught up with me and we walked to the carriage. We stepped in and he closed the curtains and I immediately felt shy because he was now my husband and I couldn’t help but think he was going to do something dirty but he laid his head back against the cushions. This was the first time I had seen him like this and it made me worry.

“Are you okay Niall?” I asked him whilst caressing his hand. He looked up and looked at the movement I was making, with a small smile on his face. “I’m okay, just a bit overwhelmed I guess.” He sighed as he lifted his face to meet mine and I saw it there in his eyes, that he was overwhelmed, it made me feel guilty and thinking I tricked him into this. I mean I asked him to join me on my walk and thanks to me he ended up in the past, searching a way back.

I pulled away my hands and turned my face towards the window and opened the curtain just a tiny bit, to look outside. Everything outside was covered in white and I could feel the cold coming in through the window. I know Niall was staring at me but I couldn’t look at him right now, without crying and I couldn’t cry today as it was my wedding day. There would be suspicions and it would force me to answer question that I couldn’t answer. We shouldn’t had said yes to John about getting us married, we should’ve refused him, no matter what would’ve happened.

“Winter, I’m sorry.” I heard Niall say and I tried to ignore him but he put his hand under my chin and turned my head around, so that I was looking at him. I shrugged to wave it off but he wasn’t buying it, he put his hand gently behind my head and pulled me towards him and kissed me, I kissed him back but it wasn’t like the kisses we shared, my mind wouldn’t shut up right now. I pulled away from Niall and I took a seat opposite from him, just to ensure my space, which I needed right now.

I know I hurt him with this but I couldn’t handle his warmth and tenderness right now. I was consumed by guilt for dragging him into this and the fact that he finally showed that it bothered him. We drove in silence back to the castle, there wasn’t any awkwardness though, which I was grateful for because that would make it even worse.

We couldn’t show our distress to the outside, so this would be our only chance to ponder on our thoughts before we had to get out. The moment we stopped, Niall again grabbed my hands and squeezed them, which made me look up. He smiled at me but I couldn’t return the smile, I know we had just a few more minutes before John would open the door and Niall took this opportunity.

“Winter, we have to look a bit crinkled, you know this right?” he asked me and I nodded, because that was the whole intension of an closed carriage. I put my hands through Niall’s hair and made it look like we had done something inappropriate. Niall did the same with me, he pulled my hair loose and he kisses me but this wasn’t a normal kiss, this was a kiss to make sure it looked like we’ve been at it the whole ride, my mouth must look swollen and I undid his collar of his shirt a bit, when we were done, we looked like we had sex or some foreplay. Niall had pulled me into his lap and kissed me for real now and that’s when the door was pulled open. I shrieked a bit to hide my fake embarrassment and his myself in Niall’s neck.

“We’ll be right out.” Niall told John, whom was chuckling at the sight. He closed the door and we adjusted our clothes but there was nothing I could do about my hair and Niall just smiled at it. “Sorry love, I shouldn’t have pulled out the pins.” He apologized but I couldn’t be bothered by this, so I just shrugged and followed him, when he stepped out of the carriage.

He lifted me up and held me in his arms as he walked into the great hall. He put me down as soon as were inside, John introduced us as husband and wife for all of our guest and that when the feast began. James was congratulating us but I could see the hurt in his eyes, as I did look like his Winter Blackwood so this must be difficult for him. “We will find her James.” I tried to reassure him and he just nodded and walked off leaving me standing here on my own, as Niall had given us some privacy.

I walked around the room and sat down at the dinner table. I asked for wine, which was delivered to me, real fast and that was my first drink of the day. I devoured it, to settle the nerves. The moment I was joined by the remaining party, I was already tipsy, Niall noticed this and forbid everyone to serve me more wine but he didn’t say anything about beer, which I switched on. They all cheered for us before we ate and this time I ate like a proper lady.

I didn’t take much, which worried John and Niall because they were getting used to my eating habits. “Are you okay love?” I heard John ask and I just nodded as I was close to being drunk by now. The moment I tried to grab my beer, Niall pulled it away from me and gave it to one of the waiters. “Let’s get you some water.” He mentioned quietly and that made me angry but I didn’t do anything to stop it because he was right and somewhere in my fuzzy brain I did get that.

I ate some more and drank the water. I acted like a true lady and the attention wasn’t on me anymore. I know I had to get through this ball, which included dancing and the thought of dancing with Niall, who didn’t really know how to dance made me nervous and as I threw a few glances to my now husband, I realised that I was being selfish for getting drunk like this, while he had to be as nervous as I. I grabbed his hand under the table and gave it a little squeeze. He looked at me with a tender smile “I’m sorry.” I whispered and he just lifted my hand and kissed it before returning back to the conversation he was having with John.

I looked around the room and was loving the arrangement they made. I loved the flowers, there were a lot of daisy’s mixed with roses. The candles were already lit as the sun was going down, which meant that this meal was almost at it’s end. We were escorted into the ball room and I was surprised that there were so many people. I gulped and I felt Niall’s hand against my back, he was tapping it nervously. The music started and Niall took me in his arms and escorted me to the middle of the room. I felt so bad about this because we didn’t know any dances from this era, when I suddenly recognised the music. It was a waltz, I still didn’t completely know how to dance a proper waltz but I had seen enough episodes of Dancing with the stars to manage.

Niall on the other hand look terrified. I put one hand on my waist and I took his other hand in my hand, I leaned closer and told him to just follow my lead, which he did. We moved synchronized and the times I looked at the guests I only saw them smile at us, instead of laughing at us for dancing so poorly.

Other people started to follow us and soon the dance floor was packed with people. The dance ended and we could finally retreat to our seats, Niall was the first who reached the chairs and he pulled me onto his lap, which surprised me but I didn’t say anything. “Where did you learn to dance like that?” He asked me in a whisper and I smiled at this. “Mostly tv.” I smiled back at him, forgetting about my nerves.

“Do you think it’s polite to just leave?” he asked me with a low voice and I know what he was thinking about and to be honest, this hadn’t crossed my mind yet but it was wedding night time. My nerves returned on full blast by now and he noticed this immediately. “Winter we don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want okay.” He rubbed my back gently and I nodded.

It’s not that I didn’t want to but I just didn’t think about it. “I think we can leave whenever we want Niall.” I heard myself say and that made him stand up. He left me to talk to John and within minutes, it was announced that we would be retreating and everybody cheered us on, which made me blush because the lads were cat calling me and this was something I wasn’t used to.

Niall held his hand out for me, which I grabbed and together we made our way to his room. We paused for a second before entering his room because there was Elaine waiting. “Milady, I need to help you with your dress.” She said but Niall already shook his head. “I will take care of that Elaine.”

Notes