•Niall’s POV•
“Oh, baby you what you’ve done to me, oh. Baby look what you’ve done now, oh. Baby I’ll never leave if you keep holding me this way, oh.’’ I heard Taylor’s voice singing through the other side of the wooden door.

I look over at Jana to see her smiling up at me. ‘’What?” I ask with a smile, kind of confused on why she’s so happy about hearing him, we hear him sing all the time. ‘’Niall, he sounds just like you.’’ Jana tells me as she opens the door, pushing me out of the way.

‘’Mom, you could knock, you know.’’ Taylor sighs as we enter this room without any permission. But we’re his parents so it doesn’t really matter now does it? No, not at all. ‘’Hey.’’ Tori smiles at us as she puts the notebook down after closing it.

‘’You two writing another beautiful song?’’ Jana asks as she sits at the desk while I stand in the door frame. ‘’Yeah, we are trying but we’re both backed up. So we’ve been listening to some old stuff trying to get our minds back on track.’’ Taylor says.

‘’Well, do you two think that you can take a break so we can talk?’’ I ask as I shut the door, stepping into the room fully now. ‘’Yeah, sure.’’ Tori says as she nods at me, smiling lightly.

“We’re leaving tomorrow morning to go to Los Angeles. Now, I know some of the others have been a tad concerned on whether or not this will be the last child we have in any way.’’ Jana sighs as she looks over at me, wanting me to continue on for her.

‘’We’re going to tell you the same thing we told them, with some extra stuff only because you’re older,’’ I tell them as I lean against the closed door, ‘’This will be the last child we adopt and have, there are certain reasons why we are doing this again and for this little boy, those have to stay between your mother and I though.’’ I sigh as I pause, glancing over at Jana to see her nervously fiddling with her fingers.

‘’Due to the number of natural births your mother has had.. her uterus is getting to where it can’t handle any more stretching or any of that pregnancy stuff. What I’m saying is.. your mother and I won’t have any more kids for the sake of her health.’’ I gulp gently, knowing that I have to tell them something a tad more disappointing, well a lot more actually.

“You guys must have been.. trying again?’’ Taylor asks, furrowing his eyebrows lightly as he looks over at me. ‘’Not really purposely trying. But uh, last month.. Mom’s period didn’t happen, so we went to the doctor that afternoon.. he told us that she was pregnant.’’ I sigh, this conversation might not end too well.

Taylor listens closely, he’s always been the one to care about other people more than himself, especially when it comes to his mother, him and Jana are super close, always have been.

“However, last week.. your mother started bleeding. Once again, we went to the doctor. We, we lost the baby.. but uh, he told us that, um.. we shouldn’t try.. or expect to get pregnant because we have a ninety nine percent chance of losing it.’’ My voice was fading off, I hated talking about stuff like this.

‘’That makes five, Dad. When will you two realize that it’s over? You wouldn’t be so damn heartbroken if you wore a condom every once and a while.’’ Tori’s voice snapped into the conversation.

I look over at her, shocked at her words, to see her staring at her feet. ‘’Some people can’t have children, and you two take advantage of that privilege.’’ Tori says as she stands up and comes over to the door.

She doesn’t say a thing to me as I move out of her way. She slams the door hard as she leaves the room. ‘’I told you we.. we shouldn’t have told her.’’ Jana says as I feel her hands grab one of mine and hold it tight.

I don’t move, I don’t say anything, I just stare at the door wondering why on earth Tori would say such a thing. It didn’t hit me as hard as I know it did Jana.

There’s some lines you just don’t dare to cross, and a miscarriage, no matter the number, is one of those lines.

---

“Uncle Ni Ni, have you seen my Mommy?’’ I heard Carleigh’s voice ask me as the kitchen doors slammed shut. ‘’No darling, I haven’t seen her all day long.’’ I sigh as I continue putting the dishes in the cabinets, not even turning to see her.

“Oh.’’ She says lightly. ‘’But your Daddy’s in my room with Aunt Jana, on the balcony.’’ I tell her as I glance over shoulder to see her smile at me. ‘’Thank you!’’ She squeals before running back out of the kitchen and probably upstairs to her destination.

I hear the sliding doors that lead to the back yard and patio being opened up. I don’t look because I surely know that it’s probably one of the kids. But what they would be doing outside right at sunset in December confuses me.

‘’Niall.. can we talk?” I heard a voice I didn’t expect say. I put the last clean glass away and turn to see that Selena was already sitting at the island waiting for me. ‘’Sure love, Carleigh was just looking for you.’’ I say as I sit across form her on the stool, leaning my elbows on the counter top.

‘’But, uh, what did you wanna talk about?’’ I ask her. She looks down at her lap as she starts to talk to me. Sometimes these conversations are important, especially ones I have with Harry or Sel.

‘’I.. um.. well, I.. I’ve been feeling.. like.. shit for the past few days now.. ever since I saw.. Harry.. at that party.. with.. that girl.’’ She sighs as she props her chin on her folded hands, looking right at me now.

‘’I know it’s stupid to be jealous, but.. something inside of me just.. hurts when I see that he’s.. with another girl.’’ Selena basically whispers this statement to me. ‘’I know love, I’ve had that feeling before. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt it, but I know it hurts.’’ I say with a sigh.

‘’Is it.. because I still love him.. or that I’m just upset that he’d rather be out getting laid than being with this child?” She questions, closing her eyes shut for a few seconds before slowly opening them back up.

‘’Harry barely goes out anymore, we all know that. But um, I think.. I think you just care, you just-‘’ ‘’Don’t want him to get hurt again.’’ She cuts me off quick as she realizes her reasoning.

‘’Niall, you don’t know.. how it feels to.. to know that you ruined someone’s life. I broke Harry into a million pieces. He’s finally back together.. and I don’t want him to be hurt again. I don’t.. I don’t want him to feel that pain again. I just, don’t know.. what to do anymore.’’ A single tear drips from the corner of Selena’s eye as she rolls her lips in, trying to keep herself calm.

‘’If you ask me, I think you need to.. to try to.. be with him again. He loves you Selena, and I know for sure you love him. I understand the issues you guys had back then, but this is now. That extra person is out of your life now.. and you and Harry both need someone to love.. I say go be with the one that truly loves you, the one that wants to make you happy.. not just sleep with you.’’

My advice might or might work. But that is based on what they decide, not on what I decide for them. There is only so little Jana and I can do for them anymore. I love both of them to death, they mean more than my actual relatives do. They’re my family, they’re the some of the only people my kids know as family.

All I want is what’s best for Carleigh. Harry knows his mistakes, and Selena’s knows hers. They just need to realize that they do need each other to be complete, no matter what they just assume, it’s love that’s making Selena feel that way.

Trust me, I know what love feels like, and what it’s like to see your one and only hug someone else, or being kissed by another person. It hurts like Hell, but you have to walk through the flames to get out of the fire.

Notes

Sorry for the delay, Holidays around here are crazy! I hope ya like, please leave those comments xx LOVE YOU!! ♥♥



-Bri