Struggle - H.S.

Did he really love me but and when did this happen? How could I be so blind and if he treated me differently would we've been together? I'm just not sure and what were my real feelings towards him? I know that when I don't see him around, I'm always scanning the area to see if he isn't somewhere but is that because I miss him or because I fear him? I'm just so confused.

"Anna?" Niall asked, I totally spaced out on him. I felt the heat on my cheeks. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" I asked him. "Is it okay if the lads and I move into the house? Just to ensure that you're safe?" My mouth fell open when he politely asked me this, what happened why weren't they just moving in, like they used to do. “Why are you asking?” I asked him surprised, the redness of his cheeks betrayed him. “That’s the polite thing to do right?” He mumbled and I couldn't help but smile at this. “Yes it is but you guys aren’t that polite.” He wasn't looking at me now when he mumbled, “I know but..” I stopped him.

“No wait, are you asking this because you haven’t already moved in or are you asking to safe someone’s ass?” I interrupted him. Niall was getting uncomfortable and it was quite funny to watch. “Alright we have maybe already moved in.” He mumbled embarrassed. This made me smile because I already expected them to move in after what I did, which sounds totally vain but knowing Harry, he wouldn’t leave me unprotected from Bradley or myself.

“Fine you guys can stay here, if that makes you all happy.” I sighed and Niall got up quickly to give me a hug but stopped mid-air. “Step away from her Niall.” Harry said a bit pissed. He wouldn’t think that Niall was hitting on me right because if he did he really was stupid. “I’m sorry bro but it was just a thank you hug.” He apologized and that almost made me angry but I kept my temper at bay when I saw the look on Harry’s face. He was pissed. The kind of pissed that would always scared the crap out of me and it still did scare Niall as he quickly got out of the room.

“Is something wrong Harry?” I asked him icily because I really didn't like this version of him. “We have to talk.” He said without reacting to my question. I frowned and was wondering what was going on this time, as I have been a good girl, it couldn’t be something I have done. “So you know we are a gang and we actually rule Oxford, right?” I rolled my eyes at this because yes I did know because he told me earlier. “Yes I know, what about it?”

“Here is the thing, I’m sick of you defying me and always crossing the line, that’s why I have some ground rules from now on.” He wasn't serious about this right? “You know you can’t treat me like a little kid right?” I asked him feeling angrier by the second. “Oh I’m aware but you see, as you decided to end your life, you decided to act like a child and therefore you will be treated like on, when it comes to obeying the rules.” He was actually scolding me and I didn't like it one bit. “Are you crazy?! I told you why I wanted out!” I raised my voice but he wasn't impressed by it.

“Yes and I decided that it wasn’t a good reason.” My mouth dropped at that, how dare he decide for me like that. “Harry you can’t be serious.” I mumbled which made him even more pissed off. “I’m dead serious Anna!” He said whilst getting closer to my face. He stopped when I could literally feel his breath on my face, which thankfully smelled really nice. “But” He put his hand over my mouth so I would stop talking and without thinking this through I licked his hand. When I realized what I just had done it was already too late. I was already cowering back into my pillow out of fear of what he would do when a smile appeared on his face, as soon as he noticed this the smile disappeared again.

“So the rules.” He said and I just nodded, I just needed to hear them and it would be my own decision if I would follow them or not. “One, you can’t leave this house without me or one of the other boys. Two, don’t talk to anyone at school till we have figured out who are in that damn gang. Three, you are mine and if you flirt with anyone, you will have to face consequences and they won’t be pleasant. Four, you will listen to me wherever we are. Five, you will train with Louis every day.” I was looking at him with my mouth wide open, I was shocked to hear those damn rules.

He couldn’t be serious, I wasn’t a damn pet. He can’t expect me to follow them and how dare he decide whom I can talk to or not, it’s none of his business. “Don’t Anna!” he snapped when he saw my expression.“Seriously Harry!?” I wasn't happy about this and how was I suppose to stay mute when someone started to talk to me, it would be rude not to talk back. “Yes Anna, oh that also reminds me, we have to do something about that mark Bradley left on your arm.” He pointed at my arm, which I touched absentmindedly.

“What do you mean?” I asked him. “You are getting a tattoo.” Harry said and I nodded as I was already thinking about that. “I don’t like it but there is no way you can carry his mark. If you think I was bad, then you should be really scared of him, as he would hurt you way worse.” He told me but I was already scared of Bradley, there was no need in warning me. “Can I at least choose my own tattoo?” I mumbled and he smiled a bit and nodded. “Yes you can but it has to cover the whole mark.” Harry said and I nodded as he had a point.

“I understand and what about school and work?” I asked him timidly. “You can go to school and work but we will accompany you.” I nodded because there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. “So am I part of your gang now?” I asked him and that made him laugh. “Anna for a bright young woman, you are sometimes really daft. You have been part of this gang from the moment I claimed you for myself.” He told me and I suspected this but it was never so real as today but it did make me confused about a few things. “But what about when you left me, why did you do that?” It made me think of what I had shared with him and he had the decency to blush.

“I was trying to give you a way out but everything changed when I saw you hanging out with Bradley. There is no way in hell that he will ever touch you again.” Harry said and I was happy to know that he was jealous even if it was ridiculous. “You should get some rest because tomorrow will be your first training session with Louis and he isn’t going light on you.” He told me, which made me fear tomorrow a bit but then again I was really tired after all that talking. I waited for Harry to leave and when he did I finally closed my eyes.

Notes