Struggle - H.S.

When we got home, my dad ushered me to bed and reminded me to take a painkiller. I walked towards my room praying that Harry wouldn't be there again because I was still recovering from our previous meeting earlier this evening.

I approached my door slowly and before I opened it. I took a deep breath and I looked around to be certain nobody saw my movements because I didn't want to explain myself for my weird behaviour and I turned the knob and I was glad that the lights were off and I walked into my room.

I walked towards my bed and turned on the light that was on my nightstand and that's when I saw a single red rose on my bed with a note under it and I almost threw it away but my curiosity won and I opened it. I t was Harry's writing but I couldn't picture him writing something so sweet. He wrote;

"I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for not controlling my anger, I'm sorry for the fact I can't let you go and most of all I'm sorry that I picked you to love"

I let the note fall on the floor and grabbed the rose and I felt tears forming in my eyes because it was the most beautiful thing someone had ever written to me and it almost made me forget what he did but I needed to stay strong because maybe he was sorry now but what would happen next time I would anger him and that was bound to happen. I was not an obedience person and I wasn't planning on becoming one.

I walked downstairs to grab a long glass for the rose. I was still pretty pissed at him but he made an effort to say he was sorry and I do love roses so it's a waste to throw it away right? "Who gave you that?" My mom asked from out of the blue and it freaked me out which resulted on me almost dropping a glass full ow water "ARGH!! Mom, you startled me"
"I'm sorry dear but who gave you that lovely rose?" She asked me with a knowing smile on her face.

"Uhm..It's from Harry" When I said that her eyes lightened up and she gave me a huge smile. I already saw her brain working over time planning my wedding to him but that was not going to happen but she can dream I guess "That's so sweet of him" He gushed and I just gave her a little smile "I guess so mom" I mumbled and she grabbed my chin carefully "Don't mess this up honey, he will be the best thing for you" I was shocked that she said that and I almost told her what kind of person he was but I couldn't and just nodded in return.

"I'm going to bed" I told her and she let me pass "Good night dear" She said and I wished her the same. I quickly climbed the stairs to my room and when I got there I closed the door and locked it. I also closed me curtains before I put my pyjama's on. I didn't want a message from harry tonight. I took my painkillers after brushing my teeth and went to bed. I again closed my curtains, which made me feel just a bit safer and I was looking forward for my second boxing class in the morning.

I woke up for some reason and I glanced over to check the time and it was in the middle of the night but something felt off. Maybe I had a nightmare that I couldn't remember. I was shaking like crazy as if someone had blown on my body, which I know sounded weird but that's the only thing I can think of this moment and you cant judge me for it. I'm still half asleep.

I needed to pee and just the thought of leaving my safe place in the bed made me anxious. I mean god knows what's behind that damn curtain right? I was probably just seeing things thanks to my painkillers because I took two instead of one and maybe I shouldn't have done that and maybe I should have read the description but the damage was already done and I really needed to pee.

What's up with that, why do you always have to pee when you wake up in the middle of the night. It's really annoying to be honest because if you have bad luck you cant get back to sleep and I'm that kind of person with the bad luck gene, so I better do something with my time now that I'm awake but still I really needed to get out of my safe bed to go to the bathroom. Well here goes nothing. I switched on my bedside lamp and of course there was no one and it was all in my head.

I quickly went to the bathroom and it was a real relieve when I got back to my room but I stopped when I saw that my balcony door was wide open. I remember closing it or didn't I? I slowly went over to my balcony and peeked outside but I couldn't discover anything except for a beautiful starry sky and I took a seat on the floor of my balcony and enjoyed the view for a few minutes.

I couldn't shake the feeling of someone watching me though and I peered over the edge of my balcony just to sure that there was no one. This was becoming too creepy because again I couldn't see anyone. I was mentally scolding myself for taking those 2 painkillers. I was feeling things that made this night even scarier. I went back inside and locked the balcony door and got dressed in a short and a tank top.

I needed to clear my head and the only way I could do that was to run a few miles with my music blasting through my ears. It was much too early for someone to notice me and I didn't mind that at all. I could use some me time to think everything through because to be really honest, I was just really confused after I saw that piece of paper and I needed to shake those warm feelings towards Harry.

I went downstairs on my toes, afraid of waking my parents. They didn't need to know I was gone for a run and especially not after last night, my dad would kill me if he saw me running like I wasn't hurt yesterday. He would lock me in my bedroom and let me live on water and bread. I chuckled at that thought. That would be priceless but not something I would look forward to even though bread and water weren't so bad.

I opened the door and shut it really quietly, never knew I had it in me to be so quiet and if my mom would caught me I would just say that I was going to meet with Harry as she was a huge supporter of him for some reason. I was shaking my head whilst doing some warm-ups, never run without warm-ups because it will hit you in the face afterwards.

I put on my music and began running as if my life deepened on it but it was a wonderful feeling. Sweating everything out likes this and I was thankful for the time it gave me. I ran past Harry's house and looked up at his window praying he wasn't up and watching me but that would be weird right. It's 5.30am he wouldn't be awake yet, right? Even if he was awake why should I care? I really had to stop thinking about him. Why did he make me so afraid yet so curious? There had to be a reason why he was like this and I just had to find out.

Now I have to admit that I never was a girl who would use things against another but it was probably my only option but then I have to find out what happened to him and what made him this way but I was determined to find out even if that would mean I had to spend time with him. Maybe I have to get him drunk or something like that. I thought to myself and that made me giggle because that would be badass and it would probably backfire. My subconscious backfired at me.

Damn subconscious I scolded myself. I was running for like 30 minutes straight now and something triggered me and I stopped running and I was right about my feelings because next thing I know I fall to the ground because some idiot walked into me. "Oi watch out, would you!" I said pissed at the person but I stopped talking when I saw who had been following me.
"Niall?" I hadn't expected him and he was laughing so hard and I couldn't contain my smile. What his smile was contagious, don't judge me and he looked like the nicest of the 5 so maybe he could become my friend in all this mess. "Why were you following me Niall?" I asked him and he looked at me and it made me feel stupid. I groaned, Of course Harry.
"Harry made you follow me, didnt he?"

"Yeah, Sorry about that" he apologised and I couldn't stop my mouth from falling open and he shrugged whilst standing up. I was still sitting on the ground though and he stuck his hand out for me to grab. I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up but I didn't really looked at him because I didn't want him to see my face. Now I know my face was partly hidden under my Nike cap but still.

"It's okay, wish you gave me warning though," I told him and he tried to see my face but I was avoiding him till he grabbed my chin. What's up with men grabbing woman's chins all the time. I tried to free my chin but he only grabbed it tighter and it started to hurt so I gave in and he lifted my face into the light and he gasped when he saw my bruised face. I had my eye patch over my left eye and he couldn't stop staring at it when he finally gave in to his curiosity and he lifted the patch carefully "Fuck, what did he do?" he growled angry. He let go of me.
I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. "It's nothing Niall, don't worry about" I said pleadingly because I didn't want him to focus on me but he didn't want to hear it and he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards a bench. "What happened yesterday Anna?" I was so confused I thought he worked for Harry or something but here he was trying to help me. "I was rude to him, that's all" I said softly "This has to stop, you have to file a report against him Anna" He told me and I pulled up my eyebrows.

"Aren't you friends with him?" I asked him confused because he was way too nice and it really didn't make any sense.

"I am but this really has to stop before it gets out of hand" He sounded serious about this and that made me feel better because it meant that I wasn't alone. "You don't have to take care of me Niall so please keep out of it. I will take care of it myself," I stated and he scoffed at that.
"Really and how were you planning on doing that exactly?" He said sarcastically and I know I had that one coming but he just had to wait and see.

"That's none of your business but I do have to go" I said whilst standing up and he just let me go as I ran from him. What the hell was that all about, why would Niall want to help me, this just doesn't make any sense but it was time to drop it because I had to focus to punching a big sack and my teacher. I was looking forward to throwing some punches.

Notes