ALWAYS

"Enola, are you alright?" Anne asked as I carried Darcy back into the living room.
I nodded and held back my tears, "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." I set Darcy down on her own feet as I smiled weakly at Anne.
"Enola, sweetheart, you can talk to me." Anne whispered in a comforting matter.
I shook my head, "Harry and I got into a small argument. That's all. I'll be fine." Anne looked at me sadly and stroked the back of my hand with her thumb gently.
"Enola, if you're crying then must've been more than a small argument." Anne was trying to get me to confide in her. "You can talk to me about it if you feel like you need to."
"He's got a way of hitting some tender spots. I know he doesn't mean to, he means the best when he says it but it's a horrible reminder of the life that I used to have." I gave her the basics of the argument.
"He loves you and he wants to be with you. Yes, he could use a little more tact when approaching the issue but at least you know what he's saying is true." Anne tried to defend her son as I took a seat on the sofa. I watched my daughter play. Anne sat right beside me. "I know it just seems like I'm standing up for my son but if he was being a right jerk to you, I would step in then too. I know my son. He's trying his best to give you the space and time you need but you and Darcy are the people he wants most." Anne sighed, "He's going to hate me for telling you this but that first week that you two were getting reacquainted, he came to Robin and I a mess. He was telling me how much he hated not being the man you loved as much as you loved Darcy. He wished that Darcy was his child. He didn't care that she wasn't his, he was going to be there for her the way he should've been there for you. He told me about everything that he had thought. He told me about a melt down he had after getting completely drunk. He informed me of a little..." Anne cleared her throat like she was uncomfortable. "A little tape you two had made." I blushed madly. I couldn't believe he told his mom about that. "He's been watching it over and over since you have come back into his life. Not in a creepy way. He said he likes to see you smile and the way you used to look at him. He misses that. I know that you are scarred from your marriage to Charles and I understand that you need time. But think about how right it felt with Harry the first time. It was like Charles didn't even exist. That man is no longer in your life. Harry wants to be the man that you should've been with all along."
I nodded with tears running down my face, "I know. And I know that I am running from it because I am scared of getting hurt again. And when I say hurt I don't mean the physical stuff. I mean I don't want to have to ever feel what I felt when he said he didn't want to be with me anymore. I know that it was because of the circumstances but still I didn't move for a good long while. I think for a few weeks I only got out of bed to vomit because my morning sickness was so terrible."
Anne rubbed my back in a soothing manner, "I know that sweetie but you have to let him try to be the partner and father he wants to be so badly. He loves you and your child more than anything. Let him try."
I smiled at Anne brightly, "That's part of the reason that I moved in here. I could've easily found another house. I had a month to look. I moved in here because he wants to be a dad. He wants a family."
Anne smiled as well, "I'm well aware that he does. He kind of hinted at it before he left for this leg of the tour."
"We actually talked about it one night. Having more kids. Which is completely insane right now. But we talked about it." I chuckled thinking back to that night.
"Oh really, what did he say? What did you say?" Anne looked a little shocked.
"He wants another. He wants Darcy to have a sibling because he and Gemma are so close. I'd like to have more for the same reason. And I love the idea of a bunch of little Harry look a likes running around my home. Thinking about it now though, we're probably going to end up with like six kids." I laughed as I thought of the idea of little kids monopolizing Harry's time in a hotel room or outside a venue. I rested my head on the back of the sofa and turned my eyes to a flabbergasted Anne. "What?" I asked not really enjoying the open mouth, wide stare.
"You've got a future planned with him already?" Anne's voice reflected her shock as well.
I smirked, "I've always seen my future with him. It's never been a question to me. It's just when we start it and where it'll end up that remains to be seen." Anne grinned and gave me a kiss on my temple.

Notes