ALWAYS

"Darcy, do you know where Daddy is?" I asked her softly as she sat at the table coloring.
"What?" Darcy inquired setting her crayon down. She looked absolutely confused.
"Do you know where your father is?" I smirked a bit as I rephrased the question.
"My daddy?" Darcy looked completely surprised. I nodded. Darcy sighed, "But I don't know who my daddy is."
"But he's here. Maybe we should go find him." I beamed at her.
Darcy jumped up, "I wanna find him!"
I grinned, "Okay." Darcy jumped down from the table and ran to me. I took her hand in mine nervously.
"How do we know where to look?" Darcy asked.
"Trust me." I replied smirking. Darcy lifted her eyebrow at me and followed me into the hall of the venue.
Once we were outside the dressing room, she gazed up at me, "Where now, Mummy?"
"I think he might be with Uncle Louis. What do you think?"I asked her with a genuine sounding tone. Darcy shrugged. "Well, let's check. Uncle Louis or NiNi could always tell us where he is." We arrived at the end off the hall where Harry, Louis, Niall and Liam were visible. Sophia and Brynn were at the other end of the room speaking to Lou. "I think I see your daddy, baby girl." I smiled down at my daughter as she held my hand tighter. Darcy looked around quickly, almost panicked. I looked up to see Harry smirking. He was waiting for Darcy to say his name.
Darcy looked up at me sadly, "Where is he, Mummy?"
"Maybe you should call for him. Just yell "Daddy!" as loud as you can. It always works when I want Papa's attention." I smiled down at her. She looked at me with confused eyes. "Just try it." I snickered.
Darcy took in a deep breath and yelled at the top of her lungs, "DADDY!"
Harry snapped his head around, "What baby?" Liam, Niall and Louis all smiled when they saw the look of shock on Darcy's face.
Darcy looked up at me, "Mummy?" Harry walked over with tears in his eyes. He knelt down beside Darcy as did I. "Mummy?" Darcy asked her own eyes filling with tears.
"Don't just stand there baby girl. Hug your daddy." I smiled brightly.
She looked at Harry with a quivering lip, "You're gonna be my daddy?"
Tears fell down Harry's face, "I've always been you're daddy, babygirl." Darcy looked even more saddened. Harry licked his lips as he thought. He smiled and pulled Darcy closer. He held out his arm, showing her the band-aid then took her arm. He held her bandaged arm next to his. "Today, when we went to the doctor, they took our blood, right?" Harry asked.
Darcy nodded, "Mummy's too."
"Exactly, do you know why?" Harry asked quietly. Darcy shook her head no. I could feel my heart breaking for my confused and emotional child. I could see in her eyes that she had so much hope in what Harry was saying but she didn't even understand her feelings. "They took my blood and Mummy's blood because you are made out of us." Harry stated. Darcy looked even more confused. "When Mummies and Daddies have their babies, they take the best parts of Mummy and the best parts of Daddy and make the perfect babies." Harry smiled.
"So they took Mommy's blood and Harry's blood." Darcy finally caught on. "Harry is your daddy, sweetie." Darcy turned her eyes to Harry's as tears streamed down her face.
"You're really my daddy?" Darcy asked him.
He nodded and smiled through his tears, "You're really my baby." Darcy wound her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shirt. HE held her tightly and inhaled deeply. His tears soaking the arm of her shirt. I glanced up to see all of the boys, Brynn, Sophia, Lou and Dale were all in tears as well. Niall blew me a kiss and Louis gave a single nod. "I'm never gonna let you go, baby. Never." Harry whispered to our child. Darcy gripped Harry's shirt.

Darcy sat on the floor playing with her dolls while Harry spoke to the boys and the crew about plans for their show. I sat with Lou, Sophia and Brynn not far from Darcy. I sighed as I looked at my child. I was fearing the worst when she was older. She was going to hate me for keeping her from Harry. She was going to be angry with me like I was angry with my mother. I laid my head on Brynn 's shoulder.
"Are you alright, E?" Sophia asked quietly. I nodded and yawned. "Why did you take Darcy to the hospital for a blood test?" Sophia inquired gently.
"Charles has been trying to take her from me. He can't take what's not his. I have to have proof that she's Harry's child. Which I don't even know why I doubted Darcy was his. I was meticulous with protection with Charles for that reason. Harry is the only guy that..." Sophia, Brynn and Lou all looked a grossed out before I even finished my sentence. "Oh come on, you know the way it was before and obviously we have a child. I don't see what there is to be squeamish about."
"Harry doesn't talk about it. It makes him too upset. I mean, get him drunk enough and he'll cry as he talks about it." Lou laughed. I shook my head. "I'm sorry, E. For what you went through with Charles and having to feel like you needed to hide her away." Lou said after a moment.
"Please don't. I didn't have to do that. I know what kind of man Harry is. I'm just a selfish, terrible mother." I sighed heavily. I disliked that I repeated my own mother's mistakes.
"No, you're not. I'm a mother too. Had I needed to make that choice with Lux, I would've. You were protecting your daughter from what could've been a bad situation. You did what you thought was best." Lou tried to comfort me. "Knowing the kind of man Charles is, he'd probably be doing this even if you had put Harry on her birth certificate." She added.
"What is Darcy's last name? I never thought to ask." Brynn inquired.
I smiled, "Her last name is Grace. But Harry and I are going to change that as soon as we can. I don't want to take that from her. When Harry and I were at our best, we talked about naming kids and he said if he had a daughter he'd want to call her Darcy. And her middle name is after his mother. I hoped for such a long time that she was his so I went with the dream, ya know?"
"Wow, she's a constant reminder of him, huh?" Sophia asked.
I nodded, "I wanted it that way. I didn't want to leave. I left because I thought it was what he wanted. He did say it after all." Lou and Sophia frowned, probably remembering the argument they overheard. "I loved, Harry. With every fiber of my being, every inch of my soul. She's the proof that it happened. She's the proof that I lived. I love her for her though. The tenacious little stinker that she is but I also love seeing the things that are like Harry. Her dimpled smile, her eyes, hearing her laugh." I smiled as I looked on my child with loving eyes.
"I can't wait to be a mother." Sophia gushed.
I chuckled, "I love Darcy. But she is also the...most difficult thing I have in my life."
"Well, yeah, no more going out on weekends and no sleeping in." Brynn giggled. Lou and I both shook our heads. "What?" Brynn seemed upset.
"When your child is put in your arms, you don't think about that. You think about the person they will be. You worry all of the time, wondering if they will be a good person. Will they love you when they're your age? Are you good enough for them? Can you be a good mother? My life is a constant worry." I informed Brynn and Sophia.
Lou nodded, "It really is. I stay awake at night wondering about Lux."
Sophia looked a little apprehensive, "Maybe I can wait."
I laughed, "Being a mother is stressful and difficult but it is the best thing I have ever done in my life. The one thing Harry and I ever did right, was our daughter."
"And that time on the balcony in Paris." Harry stated walking over to me and the other girls.
I blushed madly, "Harry, why are you bringing that up?"
"Because, I'm pretty sure that's the night we made her." Harry said looking back at Darcy. I shook my head with a smile. I knew exactly which night we made her. I remembered the feeling of the room and the feelings I'd had for weeks afterward. Harry's brow furrowed, "Her birthday lines up with that night. And that was pretty damn magical if you ask me."
I blushed even brighter red and bit my lip, "Nope." Harry stared at me confused. "Count back another two and a half weeks." I smiled weakly. Harry thought quietly for a long moment. His eyes widened when it dawned on him how his daughter came to be. "Yeah."
"The same night? Seriously?" Harry grinned almost proudly.
I nodded, "I'm sure of it. That night was ten times better than Paris." I thought back to the sight of Harry nearly naked in front of my camera, posing for me. Harry blushed and agreed quietly.
"Which night would that be?" Brynn asked with a teasing smile.
"The night that Harry and I decided to..." I was stopped by Darcy's loud, high pitched voice.
"Daddy, daddy daddy!" She repeated as she came running over.
He scooped her up in his arms, "What's up, baby girl?" She smiled then laid her head on his shoulder. "You just wanted to say my name." Harry laughed as he tickled her.
"Daddy!" She squealed trying to push his hand away. I could see a light in his eyes that I'd only ever seen one other time. He looked so happy as he held our child close. The last time I saw him so happy was when I let the fact that I loved him fall from my mouth. "Daddy, why is Mummy crying?" Darcy asked softly. Harry looked over at me sadly.
"I'm sorry." I laughed wiping my eyes.
"Mummy's so very happy. That's all. She likes that you can call me daddy now." Darcy beamed at Harry then kissed his cheek lightly. "Are you ready for your nap, baby girl?" Harry asked her when she settled her head down on his shoulder again. She whined quietly. "You and Mummy are going to go take a nap." HArry shifted Darcy into my arms. "Take her to the bus to lay down. You guys can sleep in my bunk. I'll clear out the junk bunk for her tonight." HArry stated. I nodded and wrapped my arms around my exhausted child. "I'll come wake you guys up in a little while." Harry added before kissing my forehead.
"Which one is yours?" I asked quietly.
He grinned, "The one with all of the pictures of you and Darcy." I laughed quietly and shook my head. HArry kissed my hair then pushed me toward the exit. I laid my head against DArcy's as we walked away from the rest of the group.

Notes