ALWAYS

The boys, Sophia, Brynn and I sat around Enola's living room joking around and laughing. Darcy sat on the floor near my feet playing with her dolls. I smiled as I looked at her with loving eyes. I had spent the last two weeks with her and I knew the first day that I had spent with Aubrey was a mistake. Yes, I had been spending time with her still, when I thought Enola needed a break from me. But trying to gauge whether or not I could be in a relationship with her was a stupid idea; my heart would always be in Enola's hands. Even though the little girl at my feet was not mine, I would love her like she was and I would never stop chasing after her mother.
"Harry." Darcy looked up at me with her big green eyes.
"Yes love?" I replied softly.
"Will you play the guitar for me? I want you to play the guitar for me." Darcy asked with a smile. I shrugged and reached over the back of the sofa where I had set my guitar when I arrived. Darcy clapped loudly and scooted closer to me.
"Wait just a second." Niall instructed before getting up and running out the front door. A few moments later he returned with his guitar. Darcy's face lit up even more.
"And what does the baby want to hear?" I inquired of Darcy. She shrugged and plopped her hands into her lap. I looked at Niall, "What do you think?" Niall shrugged as well. I looked to Louis and Liam.
"Why don't we go old school?" Liam smiled a bit. I lifted my eyebrow at him. "Torn." Niall, Louis and I all smiled brightly. Niall and I both began to play. Darcy stared at us with wonder.
"Okay, Darcy. What now?" I inquired. She had already made us sing all of her favorite songs. Even though we were being commanded by a toddler, it felt nice to just hang out with the boys and jam. It'd been a very long time since we'd just played as we were. Darcy smiled weakly and shrugged. As we waited for Darcy to come up with another song, Niall and I started to play, just testing chords.
"Heeey. I like that." Liam said leaning forward. He started to vocalize, making up a melody to go with the guitars. He hit a really high note and Darcy shouted for Enola.
"What Darcy?" Enola sounded slightly annoyed with Darcy.
"Uncle Liam is being a show off again!" Darcy tattled on Liam. Enola laughed loudly from the kitchen. I smiled when I thought of the way her head would be thrown back and the light in her eyes and the way she would hold her stomach. Enola walked into the living room, drying her hands.
"It's nice to hear you guys doing this again." Enola beamed at Louis, Liam, Niall and I. Sophia quickly agreed with her. "This was my favorite part of touring with you. When you guys would just make stuff up on the bus really late." Enola muttered softly.
"You got to go with Uncle Louis?!?" Darcy squealed at Enola.
"Actually, I went with Harry." Enola informed Darcy. I felt my face heat up when Darcy stared at me wide-eyed.
"Really?" Darcy asked with awe. I could feel this conversation was going to a place that I did not want to discuss with a child.
I nodded, "Yeah. Mummy came to visit me." Darcy looked so excited as I confirmed what Enola had said.
"Can you play a song that Mummy likes?" Darcy inquired of me. "Mummy, what's your favorite song of Uncle Louis'?" Darcy shouted at Enola.
Enola sat down next to me, "Harry knows what it is." I glanced at her for a moment, looking for the memory in her eyes. Then it dawned on me. I played the first few notes so the boys knew what song it was. Niall chuckled and nodded; it was like he wasn't surprised by it. I peeked over at Liam and Louis; they too wore smirks. Niall and I started to play Enola's favorite song.
I began singing, "Don't try to make me stay. Or ask if I'm okay. I don't have the answer. Don't make me stay the night. Or ask if I'm alright. I don't have the answer."
Liam was next, "Heartache doesn't last forever. I'll say I'm fine. Midnight. Ain't no time for laughing when you say goodbye." Louis belted the chorus for Darcy.
Niall took over after the chorus, "I've tried to ask myself, should I see someone else. I wish I knew the answer."
My turn again, "But I know if I go now. If I leave and I'm on my own tonight, I'll never know the answer." Liam took his turn once again. And Louis handled the chorus once again. Darcy's face lit up when Louis, Niall, Liam and I started to harmonize almost perfectly. I looked over at Enola and sang, "It's you your lips. And your kiss. It's in your touch. And your fingertips. And it's in all the things and other things that make you who you are. And your eyes." Enola blushed and looked away from me for a moment. I could see the smirks on Sophia and Brynn. I didn't bother looking at the boys; I knew they looked the same as the girls.
I set my guitar down on the floor, leaning it against the sofa when the song was finished. I stood and made my way out of the room.
"Harry, where are you going?" Louis asked, obviously concerned.
"Water." I stated pointing toward the kitchen. He nodded, like he felt stupid for asking. But really, he had every reason to be concerned with me leaving the room. Singing that song, as much as I liked it, brought back so many memories of Enola and I. I used to sing it to her while we were snuggled up in bed together, her body soft and exhausted from making love. She would curl up against me more and sing it back to me sometimes. I loved those moments with her.
I leaned against the island, my head against the cool, marble counter top. I was trying to will away the memories I had conjured up. I kept thinking of the tender moments when we were both being hopeless romantics, telling her that I would rather starve than be away from her for a single moment. And when she would tell me that I was her oxygen, she couldn't breathe without me. The actions that would follow such statements filled my mind as well. We made Dale miserable so many times when we were on tour. So many times he would tell me and Enola that he wished we would be quieter and try to control ourselves after the third or fourth go of the night.
"Harry." Enola murmured from beside me. I lifted my head from the tile and gazed upon her gorgeous, fair face. "Are you..." She began. "Is everything alright?" She inquired, worry on her face. She placed her hand over mine, "Are you thinking about how you used to sing that to me after we had sex?" I looked away from her. "I'm sorry." Enola murmured.
"Bullshit. Don't be sorry." I snipped at her quietly. Enola looked a bit shocked as I stood straight up. I took her hand in mine and pulled her against me. I wrapped an arm around her waist. "I wasn't just thinking about the after part." I whispered. Enola placed her hand on my chest as she licked her lips. I did the same. I felt my knees weaken a bit when Enola pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. As I stared into her eyes, a fire started within me. She was looking at me the way she had the first night we met. The way she did the moment before I kissed her for the first time on the balcony in Ireland. Without any more hesitation, I pressed my mouth to hers. I felt her knees go weak; I was keeping her standing. I locked my lips with hers over and over. I missed the way she tasted: vanilla and peach. I wound my arms around her tighter when she buried her hands in my hair. Somethings never change. Enola pressed her body to mine a bit harder. I could feel how much she wanted me. I then moved Enola back, trapping her between my body and the wall. Her hands left my hair and traveled down my shoulders and arms. She squeezed my wrist a little, making me release her waist. My hand slid up her torso to her chest. I groped her chest gently, the way I knew she liked. My other hand slipped down to her bum, squeezing just a bit and pulling her hips closer to mine.
"Oh Jesus!" Niall exclaimed. Enola and I both opened our eyes, staring at each other in shock. I removed my hands from her ass and breast slowly and our lips separated even slower. I took a step back from her with my hands up. Her breathing was erratic and her skin a bright shade of pink. I couldn't tell if it was because she was embarrassed or because we'd been snogging against her kitchen wall. "What the fuck?" Niall chuckled. Enola pushed away from the wall slowly, still staring into my eyes. Finally, our gaze was broken by Louis and Liam entering the room. Enola pushed past them then bolted up the stairs. I collapsed into a chair, trying to comprehend what had happened.
"What's going on? What happened?" Louis inquired.
"Harry?" Niall was still laughing. I stared off into space. "I just caught Romeo and Juliet here, snogging like they used to. You know, the gross ones where we would all have to whine to make them stop?" Niall informed them. Louis and Liam's jaws dropped.
I cleared my throat as I stood, "I should go home now." Louis, Liam and Niall seemed disappointed. "I don't...I don't know why..." I tried to tell them I hadn't planned the kiss.
"No. Go upstairs. Get her back. We'll take Darcy out for a while." Liam sounded so happy.
I shook my head, "No. No. I should leave." I headed for the door without another word to them. I only said goodbye to Darcy. What a way to fuck up. I scolded myself as I made it out to my car.

Notes

Thought I would post this as well since miss M.A.C Styles so kindly and politely yelled at me. :)