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Mibba

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How to Move

It was the craziest

The first week was the craziest. I know how you see in interviews and read in magazines that the boys all act crazy, but I wasn’t expecting them to actually be like that. During the first week I got to see Harry naked, yes I enjoyed that one. I got kicked out of the bathroom by Zayn, why he was in Harry and Louis apartment I will never know. Since the boys found it hilarious to make Niall wait for me that first night they did so every day. So I got to experience the very aggressive Niall who doesn’t care about people, he just cares about food. Of course no one was hurt in the process of him getting his food. Although the craziest thing I got to witness was when I caught Liam trying to eat soup with a fork, it looked so bloody hilarious I almost peed my pants. The only one who hadn’t acted the way I was kind of expecting was Louis. He had practically ignored me as much as he could and spent most of his time at Eleanor’s. I really wanted to get to know him to, but I tried not to think about it all.

Since I had told the boys that my face couldn’t get into the papers or on the internet I couldn’t go out with them. So all the time we spent together we spent at someone’s apartment. All of the boys had their flats in the same building, so moving between them wasn’t any problem. During this week we spent most of our time in Harrys flat and when they were out doing interviews and stuff I just watched movies. They said that they wanted to show me around London but I couldn’t take the chance. I’ve been out a couple of times to find the way to my job and such but still haven’t seen much.

Time went by and the moment of my first day on my new job was approaching. When I woke up that morning I had been here for ten days and in two days I was to start working. I woke up fairly late, the time was about eleven am, and I groaned when I looked at the clock. I knew I was going to struggle later on when I had to get up at six. I sighed and pulled myself out of bed. As I put some pants on I realize there is music coming from the kitchen. I furrow my eyebrows and walk slowly towards the sound.

When I look into the kitchen Louis is dancing around cooking something. I stare at him for several seconds, not knowing what to do. When the songs finally ends and the next one begins I am about to clear my throat. Right before I do it Louis starts singing. His voice makes me freeze in my tracks and I stare at him amazed. The song was ‘How to Save a Life’ by The Fray and his voice only made it better. As he sings I can feel how he truly means the words. He sings them with such passion I felt my heart break. When almost half of the song had gone by he turns around and he sees me. He stops singing and turns the music off. I stand there looking at him as if through new eyes and he simply smiles.

“Good morning!” He greeted and then turned around to flip the pancakes he was making. Why was he making pancakes?

“Good morning…” My voice was a lot lower than his. I walked passed him to fix water for tea. As I reach to grab the kettle Louis hand beats me to it and pushes mine out of the way.

“I can do that for you!” He smiled largely to me and I looked at him shocked. Feeling myself getting annoyed with his overly positive attitude I reach to grab the kettle once more.

“No thank you. I’ll manage it on my own.” I take it out of his hand and put water into it. As I set it to heat the water up I go to grab a cup. Louis once again beats me to it and grabs one for me.

“Here.” He gives me a sweet smile and I rip the cup out of his hand. He looks at me with a confused expression but decides not to dwell on it. I go to grab a spoon and then to take the honey out of the cabinet. I never drink my tea like they do, I like mine with one spoon of honey and nothing more.
He says nothing more to me as I make me my tea. I went to put my tea on the kitchen table and then went to grab the bread as he spoke up.

“You don’t want pancakes?” I look up at him and shake my head. Yes I wanted pancakes but I was annoyed right now. I grab the bread and butter from the fridge and go and sit down at the table. As I am buttering my first piece of bread I see Louis placing a plate of pancakes next to me. “Is something wrong Johanna?” I bite my teeth together trying to sooth myself. I grab the newspaper in front of me and place it closer to me. As I began to read it I speak up.

“Why are you talking to me?” He sat down in front of me and looked at me with a strange expression on his face.

“What?” He didn’t understand my question, HA!

“I said ‘Why are you talking to me?’ Did you hear me now?” I looked up at him as I picked up my cup and drank from my tea.

“We live together Johanna…” He made it sound like I was asking the most stupid question in the world.

“Oh don’t do that.” I took a bite from my sandwich and kept my eyes on him. “You know exactly what I mean. I’ve lived here for over a week and this is the first time, except for the first day, that you have spoken to me.” I leaned back in my chair feeling a small headache approaching.

“That’s not true…” He looked a lot less confident that he had done a few seconds ago. I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut. “Or maybe it is… But you have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to talk to you.” My eyes snapped open as his words came out. I looked at him in complete shock before I started shaking my head. This couldn’t be happening. I was supposed to focus on my job and nothing else was going to get in the way.

“Louis you’re just having a crisis. You’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you’re happy.” He shook his head and reach across the table to take my hand.

“I haven’t been truly happy in months now.” I pulled my hand away from his and stood up to put my things away. “You intrigue me, Johanna. I thought it was just a stage that I had to over come but I feel like I could be happy soon again.” I put my hands on the counter and leaned forward. I heard him get up and when I turned around he was behind me. I pushed back as far as possible, not wanting to be close to him.

“Louis, please stop.” I looked at the floor and saw him come closer. “Stop!” I screamed and when I looked up at him he was staring at me with shocked eyes. I straightened my back and stared right into his blue eyes. “This isn’t going to happen.” I pointed between the two of us and practically spit the words out. “The world isn’t some fairytale where I come in and save you, and you don’t save me. I am truly sorry you weren’t happy with Eleanor but you won’t be any happier with me.” I shook my head and felt my insecurities surface. I shook them away. “I don’t want this to happen. So find some other blonde girl who is stupid enough to get involved with a famous guy.” I quickly made my exit out of the kitchen and didn’t even turn to look at his reaction. I walked into my room and decided I wasn’t going to cry. I didn’t have a reason to cry but it broke my heart to think about that he might be hurting right now.

I needed someone to talk to. I couldn’t talk to the guys because that would just mess everything up even more. I didn’t have anyone else. The person I needed would be put in a lot of danger for speaking to me, but I knew she would do it. I decided I needed to call her, I needed to talk to my best friend.

Comments

@kaylabear
Oh this means the world to me! The story is finished and I'm trying to edit it into a book since it is some of the most emotional stuff I have ever written. Thank you so much for reading this! :)

I have to say I love this story! I did once have a physically and verbally abusive relationship and it is hard to open back up! I love how you are bring awareness to this and how it is hard cause you do believe it is your fault! I love Jo and love how I relate to her! Please keep writing :)

This fic.......wow. I've been reading it for a while and I just fell in love with it completely! I'm about to read e sequal, which I can't wait to read! But I thought I should just let you know how brilliant and well written this story is.

@BriLovesStyles
I can't even tell you how much you personally mean to me now! This comment isn't only making my heart swell, it made me cry when I read it! I don't always like my own writing my I post because of people like you, and it truly means the world that you like it!
I will continue to write for as long as I live and I will continue to post stuff just for you and for people like you! Thank you love, and I love you! <3