How to Move
Louis + Johanna = forever
*Louis’ P.O.V.*
*4 weeks earlier*
Johanna was finally safe with me and I couldn’t be happier. During those months when I knew she was living with Michael it pained me to even think about her. But even then all I wanted to think about was her. She had been my light in the darkness and when she left I found myself stumbling in the dark. I was lost. So now, when she was finally safe and with me again I felt wonderful.
When Johanna told me she wanted to try this thing out I knew she and I were going to last. Maybe that’s why I never once suspected her to leave me, because I thought we were completely happy. I should’ve understood what was going on but I didn’t. I think that some part of my brain understood it all, but another part of me didn’t want to face the fact that I was losing the one I thought I would spend forever with. So when I found her again, and I held her in my arms again, I knew that I needed her to stay. I found myself looking around at the people that I loved the most. Niall and Yvette were the most amazing couple ever and they were celebrating five months of an official relationship. I admired her for actually putting up with Niall, and all of us. When I looked at Zayn and Perrie’s relationship I felt envy, because they both seemed so happy even after this amount of time. Before I met Johanna I never knew that someone actually could feel that kind of happiness. I always thought that they were pretending for the world, and that they were nowhere near that happy.
I always admired how they stuck by each other’s side no matter what, and even though I thought it was fake I always wanted what they had. So I decided that if Johanna ever came back to me, I was going to make sure she was going to stay. I decided that I was going to ask her to marry me. And I hoped with all of my heart that she was going to say yes.
So here I was, walking towards the jewellery shop. My heart was in my throat and it felt good. I was going to pick out the ring that the woman I loved was going to be wearing for the rest of our lives. I knew that when I saw the ring I knew it was going to be the one. It wasn’t going to be hard to find the one that was hers. Johanna was special and so the ring had to be special. I arrived at the shop and took a deep breath before walking inside. At first I felt overwhelmed with all of the rings and stuff but a nice lady offered to help me and I quickly accepted. We had been looking at rings for about an hour when I finally found the one. The lady wasn’t impatient at all, she kept calm and smiled adoringly towards me every time I shook my head and said it wasn’t the right ring. But when I finally picked out the one and told the lady Johanna’s ring size, I felt exhausted. I stood there, leaning against the counter when I heard the doorbell chime and a couple walked into the shop. I didn’t bother to look at them as I looked at the many necklaces underneath the glass counter. When I heard a voice speak my voice, I was surprised to say the least.
“Louis?” I turned around and was met with a smiling girl and happy looking man. “How are you?” The girl walked over to me and hugged me tight. I was surprised to see her so happy, because the last time I saw her I broke her heart.
“Eleanor! I’m good.” I nodded my head with a quick pace and smiled a happy smile towards the couple. “I’m really good actually. How are you doing?” I asked and I felt a little bit of concern lace my voice. She smiled a sympathetic smile and hugged the man next to her closer.
“I’m good, Lou.” She looked up at him and smiled as he placed his arm around her waist. “This is Chris. My fiancé.” He stuck his hand out towards me and I grabbed it and shook it.
“Nice to meet you.” I could see in his eyes that he knew who I was and what I had done to her, but I saw no resentment.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” I turned towards El and smiled. “I’m really happy you’re happy.” I nodded my head to emphasize my words and her smile grew.
“Thank you.” She smiled while looking up at Chris and when she turned her gaze towards me her eyes showed nothing but happiness. She really did love this man and I was really happy for her. Just when she opened her mouth to speak again the lady walked out from the back and began speaking to me.
“Mr Tomlinson.” I turned around to face her and she continued. “I’ve placed the order and we will call you when the ring is ready. It should only take a few days.” She nodded and I smiled towards her. “The payment will be done when you pick it up.”
“Thank you.” I nodded towards her and turned around to face El and Chris once more. Eleanor was looking at me with an adoring smile and I couldn’t help but blush.
“You’re asking her to marry you?” I nodded my head and looked at the floor. Both she and I had thought we would marry one day, funny how things turn out. “Make sure to invite us to the wedding then.” She smiled happily and I nodded my head.
“As long as we are invited to yours.” El laughed happily and nodded her head.
“Of course! You both and all of the boys. You’ve been like my family for such a long time. How could I not invite you?” I shrugged and looked at my wrist clock. I realized I was late to pick up Johanna and cursed underneath my breath.
“Shoot. I got to go. Jo is waiting for me.” I shrugged and smiled happily when I thought about the only person that has ever loved me the way she does.
“Okay. We’ll see you around then!” El hugged me tight again and Chris shook my hand as I walked passed them. As I left the shop I couldn’t help but think about how it seems to be working out for everyone. I never meant to hurt El, but I knew that I was supposed to. And before today I felt bad for it. But now that I saw her happily engaged to another man, I understood that my actions were right. I walked outside and the sun was shining for the first time in months. I walked towards Piccadilly Circus and when I got there I saw Johanna sitting by the fountain. I smiled happily as she jumped up to meet me. I kissed her longingly and felt my heart race as she leaned into me, her breath tickling my neck and her voice sending shivers down my body.
“I missed you today.” I kissed her cheek and grabbed her hand. We started to walk to my car that was parked not far from here.
* End of Louis’ P.O.V.*
*Present day*
I was currently lying in bed, feeling too lazy to get up. Louis had walked in a few minutes before, telling me I had to get up but I just grunted at him and ignored his words. I was so exhausted from certain activities that we had taken part on last night. It was his entire fault, apparently watching Game of Thrones made him horny. He had taken me quickly and beautifully. But that had left me exhausted and Louis was now even more energetic than normal. I was beginning to get annoyed until he walked into our bedroom while talking on the phone.
“Yeah, I’ll tell her. Thanks Alan. See you tomorrow.” He clicked his phone and placed it on the bedside table. He laid down on the bed next to me and I placed my head on his chest.
“Was that Alan Carr?” Louis nodded his head and kissed my hair. “What did he want you to tell me?”
“He wanted me to tell you that instead of us singing at the show, you are.” He poked my side and I gasped. I wasn’t ready to sing in front of a crowd of millions. His fans were going see it all.
“Louis!” I slapped his chest when he started laughing and sat up straight on the bed. I didn’t have any clothes on so I covered myself with the blanket I used while I slept. “I can’t. I’m not ready for that.” I shook my head and stared of into nothing. “Is he insane? He is.” I shook head harder.
“Johanna, you’ve sung at big events. This isn’t any different.” He sat up behind me and kissed my naked shoulder before hugging his arms around me.
“Yes it is Lou. Your fans are going to see.” I dropped my head and looked at my hands with shame. Of course Louis thought it was nothing, they performed in front of thousands almost every night.
“Yes, but in the studio there aren’t going to be that many people.” I sighed and felt Louis arms tighten around me. “I know you’re afraid that people will dislike your singing, and some will. But you are really talented Jo. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” I looked up at the wonderful man sitting behind me and couldn’t help but smile when I saw his concerned eyes. He really cared about me and I would never understand why though.
“You know I can’t say no to you when you look at me like that.” I sighed and placed my forehead against his. Never in my life have I ever been this weak for someone. Louis simply laughed and pecked my lips quickly.
“That’s why I make it.” He winked at me and then pulled away to get out of bed. I pouted as he flicked a pair of panties at me.
“I don’t want to get out of bed.” He laughed and flicked me off as he threw a shirt to me.
“You have to. You’re going to meet up with Niall and practise all day. And then tomorrow you’re going to sing your throat off.” He leaned towards me and kissed the tip of my nose. I quickly pulled him into the bed again by grabbing his neck. I pressed my lips against his passionately and didn’t let him go even though he fought against my hold. Keeping my lips pressed against his in a passionate kiss I smirked at the situation. I thought it was funny that I was throwing myself at him but he is trying to get away. “Jo, we need to go.” He mumbled against my lips and broke my train of thought. He himself didn’t seem so convinced that we really did have to go. I broke away from our kiss but held him firmly against my body.
“What if I told you that I want to have sex?” His mouth dropped. I wasn’t the type of person that actually spoke about sexual intercourse in this manner, but I really didn’t want to get up out of bed. I gently placed my lisp against his one more time and sighed in content. “But if you really don’t want too.” I shrugged and dropped my arms to my sides. Since he was lying on top of me I couldn’t move away at the moment.
“You are such a bad person sometimes.” He stared at me with eyes that were beginning to cloud over with lust. I swallowed and felt myself get a little bit more than excited too. As if he pretended to think about it all he looked down my body and I remembered I was still naked. My eyes flicked over his body and a pout found its way onto my face.
“You see,” I ran my hand over his naked chest but didn’t speak until I touched his boxers. “I already know you’re going to do me good.” I spoke as sexily as I could and felt a little bit stupid. But when I noticed Louis’ eyes darken I knew it worked. “But these…” My hand gently caressed the already growing bulge outside his boxers. His breathing hitched a little bit but he didn’t move. “Are in the way.” I cupped him in my hand and squeezed as his eyes closed for a few seconds. When he opened his eyes he smiled at me with a wicked smile. He leaned down, making sure to press his middle to mine, and whispered in my ear.
“Then why don’t you take them off?” His voice was so low and almost dripped with desire that I couldn’t help but shutter. He quickly pulled the blanket away from my body and I was lying completely naked in front of him. Before this would have been a problem but I felt so safe with Louis that I didn’t care that I hated my body. I knew he would never hurt me. He had been straddling me but now he slowly parted my legs and placed himself there.
“Louis.” I whined as his hands travelled slowly down my body. I wanted him to touch me in every way possible but he was just moving to slow. I squirmed underneath him and he chuckled deeply.
“Take control Johanna.” He bit my earlobe and without thinking I flicked us over. I was now on top of him and he looked at me with dark but surprised eyes. When I leaned forward to gently touch his lips my hand found its way down to my own wet core. Instead of touching him like he expected I began rubbing my clit and moaned softly against Louis’ neck. His hand were firmly placed on my hips and I could feel him trying to push me down onto him. Suddenly I sat up and placed my hands him his stomach as I looked down at him while shaking my head.
“Don’t touch me.” My voice was stern and he yet again looked at me with surprised eyes. He held up his hands in defeat and placed them behind his head. When I was satisfied with him I began rubbing my wet core against his still covered bulge. His hands quickly left the space behind his head and he grabbed the covered we were both on. He groaned loudly and I smiled proudly because I knew that I was the one driving him insane. Growing too impatient with my own motions I began kissing my way down his stomach. When I looked up at him his eyes were focused on me once more and he was waiting patiently. My lips met the hem of his boxers and I could hear Louis moan loudly when my hand travelled over them. Deciding I wanted to tease him a little bit more I started kissing his clothed member. I heard him groan once more and felt myself becoming even more wet just by the sound of it.
My hands slipped underneath his bum to grab the hem of his boxers from behind. I slowly pulled them over his perfect ass and then gently moved my hand to the front. When I finally pulled his boxers over his large member I gasped and marvelled in its glory. Quickly removing his boxers from his legs and throwing them on the floor I grabbed his waiting shaft. Not wasting another moment I gently kissed his tip and them inserted him onto my mouth. I had only done this once before to Louis, so I knew he loved it. I began blowing him and my pace quickened as I got more and more comfortable. Suddenly Louis grabbed my shoulder and threw me on the bed. I giggled lightly and he looked at me with lustful eyes.
“I want to try something.” I swallowed and waited for him to continue. He leaned in close and I felt his warm hand caress my wet core. “I want to take care of you while you take care of me.” Unable to speak I nodded to make him understand I understood him. I knew what he wanted to do, and to be franc I also wanted to try it. He then placed himself next to me and I got up. He nodded quickly and guided my hips to his face. Waiting until I felt his tongue against my clit I then leaned forward and gently placed his tip against my waiting lips. Louis and I pleasured each other in a way that we never had before. It wasn’t regular sex, and if it would’ve been with anyone else it would’ve felt wrong, but this felt so right.
I moaned against his large member as his tongue travelled over my other lips. The feeling was beyond anything I had ever felt before. Without thinking I pushed my groin down onto his face and felt him chuckle. It only added to the amazing feeling. Sensing myself nearing the edge I began to massage Louis balls only to hear and feel him groan and curse into me. As if he wanted to tease me he brought his hand up and started playing around my opening. I graced my teeth against his member as I removed him from my mouth. I could feel his body tense up and I smiled to myself. Without another word I turned around and smashed my lips against his. I thought he tasted heavenly, knowing he had my juices on his lips. I slowly inserted him inside of me and he quickly flicked us over so that he was on top once more.
Our kiss never broke and he began pumping into me with a slow rhythm. I moaned and placed my hands on his bum, feeling the need of having him so much closer to me. Leaning back quickly to catch his breath, Louis stared at me with loving eyes. I smiled sweetly back before pulling him into another kiss. As I began rocking my hips back and forth to meet his pace I felt the urge to go faster. I broke the kiss and told Louis this with a stuttering voice.
“F-f-faster!” I moaned at the end of that single word as Louis obeyed my wish. He slammed his hips into mine with such force that I couldn’t help the heated moans that escaped my lips every time. Feeling myself nearing the edge again I pulled Louis closer to me. As if he understood I was close his hand went to where our bodies connected and he began rubbing my clit. As if his marvellous limb wasn’t enough his hand sent me over the edge and a little further. I almost scream out in bliss as I hit my high and felt Louis do the same. He didn’t pull out of me and I could feel his warm liquid fill me up. His body tensed and then collapsed on top of mine as we both rode out our highs. When he had enough energy he lifted himself up onto his elbows and gave me a long kiss. We were still connected at the middle as I caressed his legs gently with my own. He placed small kissed all over my face and I smiled as he reached my lips once more. My body was exhausted from our actions and I could tell he was too. It felt so amazing just lying there that when my phone went off I actually told it to fuck off. Louis merely chuckled and detached himself from my body. Feeling cold and lonely I got up and answered the bloody thing. I didn’t bother covering my body, I was too tired to care.
“What?” My voice told the other person that I was annoyed, which I was. When the voice on the other line laughed I groaned and realized it was Niall.
“Were you guys having sex? Because you’re only this grumpy when you are.” He laughed really loudly and I could also hear a female laugh next to him.
“I swear to something almighty that if you don’t shut up I will kill you both.” I spoke with a fake polite voice and waited for him to actually be quiet.
“Wow, she’s feisty today.” Niall didn’t laugh this time but I could tell he was smiling. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Louis placed his legs on either side of me and hugged me tightly to him.
“What do you want Niall?” I tried to sound like I meant it but all I wanted to do at the moment was cuddle with my boyfriend.
“Yvie and I are on our way over. Just wanted to make sure you guys are descent.” He paused and I could hear him coughing away a laugh. “You know, because there was a new episode of Game of Thrones last night.” I groaned and Louis kissed my shoulder. When I looked at him he gave me a cheeky smile and I knew he had heard Nialls comment.
“Whatever. I’m getting into the shower now but Louis is dressed.” I raised my eyebrow at Louis and he groaned silently. “You can let yourselves in.” I hung up the phone before he could speak another word. I soon felt my phone vibrate and looked at it to see a text from Yvette. ‘We will be there in 15 minutes, buying breakfast. :)’ I smiled and showed Louis the text. He nodded and got out of bed to grab a new pair of boxers, since I made the other ones a little bit dirty.
“I’m showering.” I stood up and waked over to my dresser. Since we both had a lot of clothes, he paid for all of mine, we had one each. There was no point in sharing. When I felt his arms around my waist I laughed and turned around in his arms. “You can’t join me Lou.” He pouted and I sighed. “I know. But they’ll be here soon. It would be just so awkward.” I shuttered at the thought and he smiled.
“I don’t care.” He shrugged and I looked at him with a sceptical gaze.
“I don’t care that you don’t care.” I shrugged and broke away from his embrace. He pouted but walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. I got in the shower, without caring that he was still in the room, and did my business. He left to go unlock the door and I snaked my hand out to lock the bathroom door. When I finished I wrapped a towel around my body and brushed my teeth before walking into our room and putting on some clothes. Since it was summer and extremely hot outside I decided to wear a long dress. It flowed really nice when you moved and was a beautiful coral colour. I loved it. I took one last look around the room and shook my head at how messy it was. With a smile on my lips I walked into the kitchen, where Louis, Yvette and Niall were sitting by the table. When they noticed me Niall threw his hands up in the air.
“Finally! We’ve been here for ages.” He spoke with a mocking tone and by the look Louis was giving him I understood they had just arrived. Instead of responding I flipped him off and walked over to Yvette to hug her.
“I missed you.” I smiled at her words and kissed her cheek gently.
“I missed you too.” I heard Louis snort and when I looked at him he was looking at me with a huge smile.
“You saw each other two days ago.” He stated the obvious and I just shrugged.
“Yeah, but we haven’t talked all that much in months.” I pointed my finger at him and Yvie placed her arm around my waist. Since she was sitting down her head ended up underneath my boobs as I hugged once more. Louis waved me off and turned his attention towards Niall.
“So, Jo said you were going to buy breakfast. Where’s the food?” I laughed out loud and Yvette joined in. Niall had a huge grin on his face and Louis looked clueless.
“She’s worn you down that good huh?” Niall spoke with laughter in his voice and when I hit the back of his head he couldn’t hold it in. Yvette joined in with him and I glared at her. She simply shrugged.
“It’s true though.” Her words startled me but I quickly recovered and stepped out of her arms. I scoffed at her while sitting down and crossing my arms.
“Just bring out the food please, and shut up.” Once more I spoke with a fake polite tone and Yvette stuck her tongue out towards me. Niall picked up a bag from the floor and placed baguettes and butter and stuff on the table. I felt my mouth water as I watched all of the stuff they’d brought and dug in as soon as Niall said go.
*An hour later*
I rubbed my tummy, feeling way to full for comfort. I leaned back in my chair and watched the few people around the table. Niall was still eating, Yvette was looking at her phone and when my gaze turned to Louis he was watching me. The thoughts of this morning’s activities came to mind and I blushed. Even though I was perfectly comfortable with Louis, I would die if someone found out what we had done. As if he noticed my discomfort he placed his hand on top of mine that was on my belly and squeezed it. I smiled lovingly towards him and mouthed ‘I love you’ to him. He smiled back, squeezed my hand once more and mouthed ‘dido’. Our moment was ruined, however, when Yvette cleared her throat and looked at me with a huge smile on her lips. Instead of speaking her mind she shoved Niall a little and he cleared his throat to speak.
"You ready to start practicing?" Niall turned towards me and I nodded. Even though I didn't want to perform and the idea of actually doing it freaked me out, I was quite excited. I started to stand up to join Niall at the door, silently agreeing on practicing at his place.
"So what are you going to sing?" Louis spoke just as I out my shoes on and when I turned to him I smiled, feeling a little ashamed.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I kind of want it to be a secret." He took a deep breath and for a second I could see pure panic in his eyes. I quickly walked over to him and hugged him to my body tightly before kissing his cheek. "Relax you drama queen. I'm not going to break up with you." I winked at him and felt him relax and place his arms around me. He rested his head against my shoulder and signed deeply.
"Oh what you do to me." His voice was so low that only I could hear his words and I lived that. Niall and Yvette were in a deep conversation by the door. After what felt like only seconds I leaned back and pecked Lou's lips.
"I'll be across the hall if you need me." He pulled me in for another passionate kiss, not unlike the others we had shared this morning. When he let me go and I started to walk over to where Niall stood with Yvette I felt cold all over again. It was strange how much Louis affected me by just kissing or holding me. I smiled towards Yvie as Niall and I walked out into the hallway. Apparently she was going to stay at our place until we were finished. Walking in silence, Niall and I got into his flat and I grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. Even though I didn't talk to any of the boys during the time I was together with Michael I still felt like they were my family. They treated me just like before, and I was more than grateful towards Niall for helping me. He was like a beat friend, a brother and a father figure all in one. Yvette was lucky to have him.
"So what song are you going to sing?" Nialls voice broke my train of thought and I smiled towards him. "Or is it going to be a secret from me too?" He winked at me and I laughed at him. He was such a weirdo sometimes.
"I was thinking about doing 'The Call' from the second Narnia movie. The song is by Regina Spector." He nodded and walked over to grab a guitar, he had several and never let anyone touch them. I tried one time, and he wrestled me to the ground. It was kind of scary.
"Yeah I know that one. Not sure about the chords but we can just google that." I laughed and nodded my head. Niall quickly pulled his computer out from his bag that sat next to the door and typed in google.com and the. The songs name. I waited until he was ready. I listened to him strum on his guitar, feeling the chords and sounds. Niall was always so mesmerizing when he was hiding a guitar that it was hard not to look at him. After a few minutes he looked up at me with a smile and nodded his head.
“You ready?” I asked him and looked at the guitar. He slowly nodded his head as he strummed the chords.
“Yeah I think so. We’re gonna have to play it through a few times and decide how you want to sing it, but it’s all good.” He smiled largely and looked up at me. I let out the deep breath I was holding and nodded my head. As he began to sing the opening lyric I followed and took over.
*The next day*
“Okay, so you guys are going to be interviewed after the commercial, even though there is none today. We are filming it all today and it goes live on Friday. Understand?” The tech guy was speaking to the boys as I was sitting on the couch behind them. They had already talked to me about what I was going to do and when I was going to do it. The show was going to start with Alan doing a monologue. He would then introduce me and Louis. We would walk out together and then almost instantly I would perform, with the help of Niall. After that he was going to interview me and Louis together and then after that he was going to interview all the boys. It was going to be an amazing day.
“Jo, babe.” Louis spoke and waved his hand in front of my face. When he was sure he had my attention he spoke with a smile. “They should be landing soon. You should call your mom.” I nodded and got up.
“Thanks for reminding me. I totally forgot.” I pecked his lips and walked out of the dressing room where all of the One Directions boys were crammed into. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialled the number Louis had given her. She picked up quickly.
“Hello Johanna!” She sounded really happy and a little out of breath, which made me smile.
“Hi mom. How’s it going?” I sat down by a window and looked out on all the girls outside.
“It’s going great! We are on our way to the studio as we speak.” I smiled and played with the hem on my dress. My mother knew that we were going to announce our engagement today, Louis and I had told her last night. She was thrilled for us and was super excited. When I later on told Sophie she screamed in my ear, because we were speaking on the phone, and I think she did a little dance too. She was really happy for me.
“Did Sophie make the flight?” I laughed and my mother joined in. When she started snorting I heard Sophie in the background.
“She said something about?” When my mother only laughed more Sophie’s voice came closer to the phone. “What did she say? Come on tell me!!” I imagined Sophie jumping up and down, since she always did that when she wanted to know something really bad.
“Mom, I’m really sorry but I got to go. Niall just came over to disturb me.” I stuck my tongue out to him and he flipped me off.
“Alright, I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.” I smiled and felt my heart become a little bit warmer.
“I love you too.” After I had pressed the ‘end call’ button Niall was all up in my face.
“Who was that huh? Was it Louis? Because you could just talk to each other face to face.” He stated nonchalantly and it made me snort with laughter. When I composed myself I looked at him with a serious stare.
“I don’t like to look at his ugly face.” I shrugged and smiled a little. “But no, that was my mother. They’re outside.” He nodded and laughed when I joked about Louis’ face. When he started laughing even harder I felt a little uncomfortable, because he had this look in his eyes that told me something was up. Before I knew it someone grabbed me by my waist from behind me and I screamed in fear. When I turned around I noticed it was Louis and my face softened into a smile.
“You didn’t have a problem having mah ugly face all up in your business this morning.” Louis whispered into my ear, making me blush dark. Niall didn’t heard a single word so he simply looked at me with a confused stare.
“Seriously Louis?” I slapped his arm and he laughed before pecking my lips and looking over my shoulder at Niall.
“You ready for the show mate?” Niall nodded his head and checked his phone really quick.
“Of course, I was born ready.” He snorted and looked down the hallway. When I followed his gaze I noticed Yvette walking towards us. Niall’s face lit up in a huge smile and he excused himself before running towards her. When I was sure Niall was out of earshot I plastered a fake smile on my face and turned to Louis.
“If you ever, and I mean ever, talk about what we do in the bedroom in public again, I will never and I mean never to what I did this morning ever again.” He smiled shyly and pecked my cheek and hugged me to him.
“I will never ever speak about what a sex goddess you are, in public.“ I stared at him in shock and felt my cheeks turn red. Ignoring my reaction Louis started talking about something else. “So you ready for this?” Deciding not to argue about the previous subject right now I sighed and placed my head against his shoulder.
“No.” I pouted and shook my head as Louis laughed. He lifted my chin up and when I looked at him he had the most adoring smile on his lips. “Look, I know I haven’t talked to you about your fans and stuff. But I’m actually quite scared about what they might think. Not scared enough to break up with you but still scared.” I shrugged and Louis cradled my face in his hands.
“I know it’s scary, and I also know there is nothing I can say to make it easier. But I just want you to know that I’ll be right there and I love you more than words can say. If you start feeling scared or nervous, look at me or Niall. We’ll get you through this.” I nodded my head and took a deep breath as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes.
“I love you too.” Louis leaned down and placed his soft lips against mine. The kiss was loving, passionate, heart breaking and all of those wonderfully loving emotions. We didn’t break apart until a stage worker told us that we were going on in a few moments. Louis guided me towards the stairs, where we were supposed to enter the set on. I flattened out my dress as we listened to Alan’s opening monologue. I was wearing a flowery dress that was very loose fitted. It was a strapless dress but since I never really liked my arms I was wearing a black silk jacket to match it. The dress wasn’t figure made at all and was just plain and straight. Which I liked really much since I never fit into figure made dresses. It ended just below my knees. I had on simple black heels with laces. Keeping it all simple I had my hair up in a bun and almost no make-up on.
“Babe, it’s going to go excellent.” I hadn’t realized my hands ever stopped moving but as Louis placed his on top of mine I became still and stared at him. He smiled softly and I returned is smile. Before I could thank him for making me a little bit calmer I heard Alan’s introduction for us.
“Which brings us to tonight’s guests! We have the lovely and gorgeous One Direction boys here tonight.” As he paused for applauds a man ushered us to the top of the stairs. “We also have a special little lady that is making her first ever TV debut tonight. Her name is Johanna Bjorklund!” The crowd went crazy again and I could swear I heard my mother’s voice scream. Louis and I giggled. “The rest of the One Directions boys will be back for part two but here is our very own Louis Tomlinson and Johanna Bjorklund!” We were lightly pushed to walk down the stairs and I held onto Louis’ hand for dear life. I was so scared to do this. When the audience came into view I almost fainted. There were so many screaming girls here. When I saw my mother, my brothers, Yvette and Sophie I instantly felt my heart rate slow down. Louis squeezed my hand and led us over to where Alan stood. Louis hugged him first and when I was supposed to hug him all I could do was laugh and almost squish him to my body.
“This way.” Alan spoke into my ear and showed us the way to the very familiar couch. We sat down and waited for the crowd to quiet before starting to talk. Oh, and I forgot to mention. I was wearing my engagement ring tonight. “So we’re not actually starting the interview just yet because you’re going to perform for us, is that correct Johanna?” I smiled largely and nodded.
“Yes I am.” I looked at Louis really quick and then back at Alan. “And call me Jo. Johanna’s a mouthful.” I laughed and Alan joined in. He gestured for me to take my place and I quickly walked over to where Niall was standing with the guitar. The beginning of this show was going great and I was thankful. As I sat down on the stool with a microphone stand in front of me and a mic in hand I felt the fear take over. But the second my eyes met Louis’ I calmed down and nodded towards Alan.
“Here is Johanna Bjorklund performing Regina Spector’s The Call.” He gestured towards me and Niall, and Niall began playing the familiar chords.
“It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye”
I looked over at Louis to try to read his reaction but he just looked at me with loving and knowing eyes. He understood what this song meant to me. I felt tears form in my eyes as I began to sing again.
“Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye”
The lyrics meant so much because they were about Louis and me. When I went away, when I broke up with him I wanted to badly for us to be able to be together again. Even though I was the one who disappeared he came back for me when I needed him the most.
“Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye”
I took a deep breath as Niall played the last few chords. My head was lowered and my hand on the mic as I waited for the audience to react. After a few seconds of complete silence they all started to cheer. When I finally dared to look up I noticed that all of them were standing up, including Louis and Alan. I blushed heavily and laughed as I heard someone whistle. My smile was large that it hurt my face and the overwhelming happiness I felt was amazing. When the crowd calmed down a little I motioned my hand back to Niall and they clapped a little bit louder. He came up to me and gave me a sideways hug.
“You did amazing. Good luck with the announcement.” I smiled to him and nodded my head as he ran up the stairs, waving goodbye to the crowd. I started walking towards Louis and Alan.
“Give it up for the amazing Jo Bjorklund!” Alan yelled and clapped even louder. I walked into Louis’ arms and hid my face in his chest as everyone began to whistle and clap again. After a few seconds I released myself from Louis’ grasp and turned towards the crowd. I placed my hand over my heart and mouthed ‘thank you’ over and over again. When I finally noticed Alan sitting down I almost groaned in happiness and sat down next to Louis. The audience also sat down but it took another minute for them to become quiet.
“That was amazing Jo. You smashed that song babe.” I smiled towards him and he pecked my cheek before our attention was directed towards Alan.
“Before anything else! A drink.” He gestured towards his globe and Louis and I laughed. He turned towards us and smiled. “So what shall the lady have?” I tapped my chin and thought about it as I looked into his globe.
“How about some Mintuu? You have that?” He looked inside and then grabbed something out of the ice bucket he had. I clapped my hands when I saw he had my favorite peppermint shot and willingly took the glass he gave me. A little too much maybe but it was so bloody good.
“So your lady likes it strong, how about you?” Alan turned towards Louis and did a flick with his hand. I laughed as Louis shook his head.
“I’ll just have a beer.” Alan groaned and looked at Louis with accusing eyes.
“Well isn’t he a party pooper.” I laughed along with Alan until I noticed Louis glare at me. I saw that he was fighting a smile but I tried to stop laughing anyways.
“Someone has to drive home.” Louis took the beer that Alan was handing him and drank from it. We both placed our refreshments onto the table and leaned back on the couch.
“That was an amazing performance Jo.” I smiled and placed my right hand over my heart, my left one was being held captive by Louis.
“Thank you so much Alan. That really means a lot.” I nodded my head as I spoke and Alan crossed his legs as he listened intently.
“So I know I’m the most fabulous and hilarious and most gorgeous host out there…” Alan was cut off when the audience started laughing. He shot them a dirty look and then turned back to us. “Sometimes we just get the rude ones.” He scoffed and I giggled. He really was an entertainer. “But anyways, you guys are here to talk about serious stuff aren’t you?” Louis nodded his head and released my hand. He placed his right arm behind my back and it made me feel a little bit safer. I didn’t notice it myself but I tensed up when Alan mentioned something serious.
“We are here to clear all the rumors going around.” All of my strength I thought I had disappeared and I felt paralyzed. “And we wanted you to be the first one who actually hears the truth.” That fact was true, even though Alan already knew the truth about the past year.
“So where do you want to start?” Alan spoke directly to me and all I could do was shrug.
“We’ve been ignoring the papers for a while now so we don’t really know what they have written about us.” Louis shrugged as his hand went to mine once more. I looked at him and he shot me a reassuring smile. I was still very afraid but I turned to Alan with a smile.
“Well then. Let’s start at New Year’s Eve.” I nodded and looked at Lou. He smiled trying to encourage me and when I turned back to Alan I was feeling safer.
“As most of you guys know I moved in with Harry and Lou in August last year.” I swallowed back the hesitation and spoke again. “My past isn’t something that I’m proud of and when I moved in with them I didn’t tell them about it.” I grabbed Louis’ hands and held on to them like they were the only thing keeping me alive. “I was in an abusive relationship with a man I thought loved me. When I broke it off with him he kept on insisting that we were going to be together. He threatened my family and close friends. I thought that if I escaped to London and hid, that he wouldn’t find me.” Alan was listening to me like he was interested in what I was saying. This was the first time he heard it from me.
“So this all led up to the party?” I nodded and took another deep breath, this was harder to talk about than I thought.
“I decided that it was starting to get too dangerous for me to stay, so I started to plan how I was going to leave. I knew that I couldn’t break up with him face to face because…” I trailed off and looked at Louis. “I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do it.” Louis smiled towards me and I turned my head to Alan. “It was the toughest thing I have ever done. It broke my heart to break his, but at the time I thought it was necessary. I moved out without either him or Harry knowing and got my own place. I forced Niall and Yvette to help me, and I’m sorry for that too.” I smiled a little to myself and shook my head. “I’m grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. Even though they didn’t agree with what I was doing they supported me.” Louis was rubbing circles on my back and Alan was nodding his head.
“You disappeared off the radar for about six months, can you tell us what happened during those months? When we heard anything about you a horrid photo of you with a very beat up face was the first thing to appear.” His head was tilted as he looked at me with a sympathetic smile. I nodded and continued.
“Just after I moved out I was found by the very man I was hiding from. Apparently he found me months before but stayed back. His best friend at the moment was the new principal at my school. It was because of him that I got my job back, after I got fired because I lived with the boys.” I waved that off and just said it was a long story. Alan nodded his head as he waited for me to continue. “I’m not going to go through all the events but there were a lot of hospital visits and a lot of broken bones.” I looked down at my hands and remembered all of the horrible moments. “When Louis decided to visit me, someone saw him and told Michael.” I looked up at Alan with furrowed eyebrows.
“And Michael was the man who you lived with and who abused you?” I nodded and tried to smile but failed. “I know this must be difficult for you Jo. And if you want to stop talking about it that’s fine.” I actually smiled towards him.
“This needs to be straightened out. I know that a lot of people hate me for what I’ve done. I know that what I did was selfish and cruel, but I only care about one person’s acceptance.” I looked at Louis and grabbed his left hand with mine. “As long as Louis loves me and stands by me, I don’t care about what others think.” I looked at Alan who had his eyes fixed on our joined hands. I looked at Louis who was smirking and smiled back to him. Alan had finally noticed the ring on my finger.
“Is that what I think it is?” He actually got up and pushed both Louis and I on the couch so that he could sit on it. He sat down next to Louis and lifted up my hand.
“I would also like to add that there is only one TV host in the entire world that we wanted to break the news to.” Louis spoke and Alan laughed out loud.
“This is so precious!” I laughed and Louis joined in. “How, when and who?” I laughed again.
“In a bathroom at Radio 1, about a week ago and Louis proposed.” I laughed afterwards when Alan lightly punched Lou’s arm.
“Bathroom? Really?” Louis laughed and nodded his head.
“The moment was perfect.” He turned his head to me and I smiled fondly. “Jo was upset and left the room when I was in the middle of an interview. I followed her and found her hiding in the bathroom. When she let me in and I saw her crying I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her anything but sad.”
“Is there a date set?” I broke my gaze away from Louis and looked at Alan.
“Kind of, we’ve decided to get married when all of my closest friends and family can be there.” I smiled and nodded towards Louis. “Well I decided but still.” I shrugged and continued. “In the autumn of 2023.”
“That’s five years from now.” Alan stated.
“Yeah, but Johanna and I want to have all of the people we love there. And a friend of ours gets out of prison five years from now so we want to wait.” Louis paused and looked at our hands. “As long as we are together I’m happy.” I squeezed his hand and smiled.
“Well isn’t that nice.” Alan nodded his head and sat back in his own chair. “So Johanna, what was your song about?” Louis and I laughed at his awkward attempt to change the subject but played along.
“About how our relationship grew. About our time apart and how we both knew deep down that we somehow would find our way back to each other.” I smiled towards Louis and he gave me a bright smile back.
“That’s the most adorable thing ever.” Alan looked at Louis and smiled. “Louis, before we have to go to break, what song or song lyric do you dedicate to Jo?” Without even thinking about it Louis began singing.
“'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin' me in and
I know I never will be good enough for her.”
*4 weeks earlier*
Johanna was finally safe with me and I couldn’t be happier. During those months when I knew she was living with Michael it pained me to even think about her. But even then all I wanted to think about was her. She had been my light in the darkness and when she left I found myself stumbling in the dark. I was lost. So now, when she was finally safe and with me again I felt wonderful.
When Johanna told me she wanted to try this thing out I knew she and I were going to last. Maybe that’s why I never once suspected her to leave me, because I thought we were completely happy. I should’ve understood what was going on but I didn’t. I think that some part of my brain understood it all, but another part of me didn’t want to face the fact that I was losing the one I thought I would spend forever with. So when I found her again, and I held her in my arms again, I knew that I needed her to stay. I found myself looking around at the people that I loved the most. Niall and Yvette were the most amazing couple ever and they were celebrating five months of an official relationship. I admired her for actually putting up with Niall, and all of us. When I looked at Zayn and Perrie’s relationship I felt envy, because they both seemed so happy even after this amount of time. Before I met Johanna I never knew that someone actually could feel that kind of happiness. I always thought that they were pretending for the world, and that they were nowhere near that happy.
I always admired how they stuck by each other’s side no matter what, and even though I thought it was fake I always wanted what they had. So I decided that if Johanna ever came back to me, I was going to make sure she was going to stay. I decided that I was going to ask her to marry me. And I hoped with all of my heart that she was going to say yes.
So here I was, walking towards the jewellery shop. My heart was in my throat and it felt good. I was going to pick out the ring that the woman I loved was going to be wearing for the rest of our lives. I knew that when I saw the ring I knew it was going to be the one. It wasn’t going to be hard to find the one that was hers. Johanna was special and so the ring had to be special. I arrived at the shop and took a deep breath before walking inside. At first I felt overwhelmed with all of the rings and stuff but a nice lady offered to help me and I quickly accepted. We had been looking at rings for about an hour when I finally found the one. The lady wasn’t impatient at all, she kept calm and smiled adoringly towards me every time I shook my head and said it wasn’t the right ring. But when I finally picked out the one and told the lady Johanna’s ring size, I felt exhausted. I stood there, leaning against the counter when I heard the doorbell chime and a couple walked into the shop. I didn’t bother to look at them as I looked at the many necklaces underneath the glass counter. When I heard a voice speak my voice, I was surprised to say the least.
“Louis?” I turned around and was met with a smiling girl and happy looking man. “How are you?” The girl walked over to me and hugged me tight. I was surprised to see her so happy, because the last time I saw her I broke her heart.
“Eleanor! I’m good.” I nodded my head with a quick pace and smiled a happy smile towards the couple. “I’m really good actually. How are you doing?” I asked and I felt a little bit of concern lace my voice. She smiled a sympathetic smile and hugged the man next to her closer.
“I’m good, Lou.” She looked up at him and smiled as he placed his arm around her waist. “This is Chris. My fiancé.” He stuck his hand out towards me and I grabbed it and shook it.
“Nice to meet you.” I could see in his eyes that he knew who I was and what I had done to her, but I saw no resentment.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” I turned towards El and smiled. “I’m really happy you’re happy.” I nodded my head to emphasize my words and her smile grew.
“Thank you.” She smiled while looking up at Chris and when she turned her gaze towards me her eyes showed nothing but happiness. She really did love this man and I was really happy for her. Just when she opened her mouth to speak again the lady walked out from the back and began speaking to me.
“Mr Tomlinson.” I turned around to face her and she continued. “I’ve placed the order and we will call you when the ring is ready. It should only take a few days.” She nodded and I smiled towards her. “The payment will be done when you pick it up.”
“Thank you.” I nodded towards her and turned around to face El and Chris once more. Eleanor was looking at me with an adoring smile and I couldn’t help but blush.
“You’re asking her to marry you?” I nodded my head and looked at the floor. Both she and I had thought we would marry one day, funny how things turn out. “Make sure to invite us to the wedding then.” She smiled happily and I nodded my head.
“As long as we are invited to yours.” El laughed happily and nodded her head.
“Of course! You both and all of the boys. You’ve been like my family for such a long time. How could I not invite you?” I shrugged and looked at my wrist clock. I realized I was late to pick up Johanna and cursed underneath my breath.
“Shoot. I got to go. Jo is waiting for me.” I shrugged and smiled happily when I thought about the only person that has ever loved me the way she does.
“Okay. We’ll see you around then!” El hugged me tight again and Chris shook my hand as I walked passed them. As I left the shop I couldn’t help but think about how it seems to be working out for everyone. I never meant to hurt El, but I knew that I was supposed to. And before today I felt bad for it. But now that I saw her happily engaged to another man, I understood that my actions were right. I walked outside and the sun was shining for the first time in months. I walked towards Piccadilly Circus and when I got there I saw Johanna sitting by the fountain. I smiled happily as she jumped up to meet me. I kissed her longingly and felt my heart race as she leaned into me, her breath tickling my neck and her voice sending shivers down my body.
“I missed you today.” I kissed her cheek and grabbed her hand. We started to walk to my car that was parked not far from here.
* End of Louis’ P.O.V.*
*Present day*
I was currently lying in bed, feeling too lazy to get up. Louis had walked in a few minutes before, telling me I had to get up but I just grunted at him and ignored his words. I was so exhausted from certain activities that we had taken part on last night. It was his entire fault, apparently watching Game of Thrones made him horny. He had taken me quickly and beautifully. But that had left me exhausted and Louis was now even more energetic than normal. I was beginning to get annoyed until he walked into our bedroom while talking on the phone.
“Yeah, I’ll tell her. Thanks Alan. See you tomorrow.” He clicked his phone and placed it on the bedside table. He laid down on the bed next to me and I placed my head on his chest.
“Was that Alan Carr?” Louis nodded his head and kissed my hair. “What did he want you to tell me?”
“He wanted me to tell you that instead of us singing at the show, you are.” He poked my side and I gasped. I wasn’t ready to sing in front of a crowd of millions. His fans were going see it all.
“Louis!” I slapped his chest when he started laughing and sat up straight on the bed. I didn’t have any clothes on so I covered myself with the blanket I used while I slept. “I can’t. I’m not ready for that.” I shook my head and stared of into nothing. “Is he insane? He is.” I shook head harder.
“Johanna, you’ve sung at big events. This isn’t any different.” He sat up behind me and kissed my naked shoulder before hugging his arms around me.
“Yes it is Lou. Your fans are going to see.” I dropped my head and looked at my hands with shame. Of course Louis thought it was nothing, they performed in front of thousands almost every night.
“Yes, but in the studio there aren’t going to be that many people.” I sighed and felt Louis arms tighten around me. “I know you’re afraid that people will dislike your singing, and some will. But you are really talented Jo. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” I looked up at the wonderful man sitting behind me and couldn’t help but smile when I saw his concerned eyes. He really cared about me and I would never understand why though.
“You know I can’t say no to you when you look at me like that.” I sighed and placed my forehead against his. Never in my life have I ever been this weak for someone. Louis simply laughed and pecked my lips quickly.
“That’s why I make it.” He winked at me and then pulled away to get out of bed. I pouted as he flicked a pair of panties at me.
“I don’t want to get out of bed.” He laughed and flicked me off as he threw a shirt to me.
“You have to. You’re going to meet up with Niall and practise all day. And then tomorrow you’re going to sing your throat off.” He leaned towards me and kissed the tip of my nose. I quickly pulled him into the bed again by grabbing his neck. I pressed my lips against his passionately and didn’t let him go even though he fought against my hold. Keeping my lips pressed against his in a passionate kiss I smirked at the situation. I thought it was funny that I was throwing myself at him but he is trying to get away. “Jo, we need to go.” He mumbled against my lips and broke my train of thought. He himself didn’t seem so convinced that we really did have to go. I broke away from our kiss but held him firmly against my body.
“What if I told you that I want to have sex?” His mouth dropped. I wasn’t the type of person that actually spoke about sexual intercourse in this manner, but I really didn’t want to get up out of bed. I gently placed my lisp against his one more time and sighed in content. “But if you really don’t want too.” I shrugged and dropped my arms to my sides. Since he was lying on top of me I couldn’t move away at the moment.
“You are such a bad person sometimes.” He stared at me with eyes that were beginning to cloud over with lust. I swallowed and felt myself get a little bit more than excited too. As if he pretended to think about it all he looked down my body and I remembered I was still naked. My eyes flicked over his body and a pout found its way onto my face.
“You see,” I ran my hand over his naked chest but didn’t speak until I touched his boxers. “I already know you’re going to do me good.” I spoke as sexily as I could and felt a little bit stupid. But when I noticed Louis’ eyes darken I knew it worked. “But these…” My hand gently caressed the already growing bulge outside his boxers. His breathing hitched a little bit but he didn’t move. “Are in the way.” I cupped him in my hand and squeezed as his eyes closed for a few seconds. When he opened his eyes he smiled at me with a wicked smile. He leaned down, making sure to press his middle to mine, and whispered in my ear.
“Then why don’t you take them off?” His voice was so low and almost dripped with desire that I couldn’t help but shutter. He quickly pulled the blanket away from my body and I was lying completely naked in front of him. Before this would have been a problem but I felt so safe with Louis that I didn’t care that I hated my body. I knew he would never hurt me. He had been straddling me but now he slowly parted my legs and placed himself there.
“Louis.” I whined as his hands travelled slowly down my body. I wanted him to touch me in every way possible but he was just moving to slow. I squirmed underneath him and he chuckled deeply.
“Take control Johanna.” He bit my earlobe and without thinking I flicked us over. I was now on top of him and he looked at me with dark but surprised eyes. When I leaned forward to gently touch his lips my hand found its way down to my own wet core. Instead of touching him like he expected I began rubbing my clit and moaned softly against Louis’ neck. His hand were firmly placed on my hips and I could feel him trying to push me down onto him. Suddenly I sat up and placed my hands him his stomach as I looked down at him while shaking my head.
“Don’t touch me.” My voice was stern and he yet again looked at me with surprised eyes. He held up his hands in defeat and placed them behind his head. When I was satisfied with him I began rubbing my wet core against his still covered bulge. His hands quickly left the space behind his head and he grabbed the covered we were both on. He groaned loudly and I smiled proudly because I knew that I was the one driving him insane. Growing too impatient with my own motions I began kissing my way down his stomach. When I looked up at him his eyes were focused on me once more and he was waiting patiently. My lips met the hem of his boxers and I could hear Louis moan loudly when my hand travelled over them. Deciding I wanted to tease him a little bit more I started kissing his clothed member. I heard him groan once more and felt myself becoming even more wet just by the sound of it.
My hands slipped underneath his bum to grab the hem of his boxers from behind. I slowly pulled them over his perfect ass and then gently moved my hand to the front. When I finally pulled his boxers over his large member I gasped and marvelled in its glory. Quickly removing his boxers from his legs and throwing them on the floor I grabbed his waiting shaft. Not wasting another moment I gently kissed his tip and them inserted him onto my mouth. I had only done this once before to Louis, so I knew he loved it. I began blowing him and my pace quickened as I got more and more comfortable. Suddenly Louis grabbed my shoulder and threw me on the bed. I giggled lightly and he looked at me with lustful eyes.
“I want to try something.” I swallowed and waited for him to continue. He leaned in close and I felt his warm hand caress my wet core. “I want to take care of you while you take care of me.” Unable to speak I nodded to make him understand I understood him. I knew what he wanted to do, and to be franc I also wanted to try it. He then placed himself next to me and I got up. He nodded quickly and guided my hips to his face. Waiting until I felt his tongue against my clit I then leaned forward and gently placed his tip against my waiting lips. Louis and I pleasured each other in a way that we never had before. It wasn’t regular sex, and if it would’ve been with anyone else it would’ve felt wrong, but this felt so right.
I moaned against his large member as his tongue travelled over my other lips. The feeling was beyond anything I had ever felt before. Without thinking I pushed my groin down onto his face and felt him chuckle. It only added to the amazing feeling. Sensing myself nearing the edge I began to massage Louis balls only to hear and feel him groan and curse into me. As if he wanted to tease me he brought his hand up and started playing around my opening. I graced my teeth against his member as I removed him from my mouth. I could feel his body tense up and I smiled to myself. Without another word I turned around and smashed my lips against his. I thought he tasted heavenly, knowing he had my juices on his lips. I slowly inserted him inside of me and he quickly flicked us over so that he was on top once more.
Our kiss never broke and he began pumping into me with a slow rhythm. I moaned and placed my hands on his bum, feeling the need of having him so much closer to me. Leaning back quickly to catch his breath, Louis stared at me with loving eyes. I smiled sweetly back before pulling him into another kiss. As I began rocking my hips back and forth to meet his pace I felt the urge to go faster. I broke the kiss and told Louis this with a stuttering voice.
“F-f-faster!” I moaned at the end of that single word as Louis obeyed my wish. He slammed his hips into mine with such force that I couldn’t help the heated moans that escaped my lips every time. Feeling myself nearing the edge again I pulled Louis closer to me. As if he understood I was close his hand went to where our bodies connected and he began rubbing my clit. As if his marvellous limb wasn’t enough his hand sent me over the edge and a little further. I almost scream out in bliss as I hit my high and felt Louis do the same. He didn’t pull out of me and I could feel his warm liquid fill me up. His body tensed and then collapsed on top of mine as we both rode out our highs. When he had enough energy he lifted himself up onto his elbows and gave me a long kiss. We were still connected at the middle as I caressed his legs gently with my own. He placed small kissed all over my face and I smiled as he reached my lips once more. My body was exhausted from our actions and I could tell he was too. It felt so amazing just lying there that when my phone went off I actually told it to fuck off. Louis merely chuckled and detached himself from my body. Feeling cold and lonely I got up and answered the bloody thing. I didn’t bother covering my body, I was too tired to care.
“What?” My voice told the other person that I was annoyed, which I was. When the voice on the other line laughed I groaned and realized it was Niall.
“Were you guys having sex? Because you’re only this grumpy when you are.” He laughed really loudly and I could also hear a female laugh next to him.
“I swear to something almighty that if you don’t shut up I will kill you both.” I spoke with a fake polite voice and waited for him to actually be quiet.
“Wow, she’s feisty today.” Niall didn’t laugh this time but I could tell he was smiling. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Louis placed his legs on either side of me and hugged me tightly to him.
“What do you want Niall?” I tried to sound like I meant it but all I wanted to do at the moment was cuddle with my boyfriend.
“Yvie and I are on our way over. Just wanted to make sure you guys are descent.” He paused and I could hear him coughing away a laugh. “You know, because there was a new episode of Game of Thrones last night.” I groaned and Louis kissed my shoulder. When I looked at him he gave me a cheeky smile and I knew he had heard Nialls comment.
“Whatever. I’m getting into the shower now but Louis is dressed.” I raised my eyebrow at Louis and he groaned silently. “You can let yourselves in.” I hung up the phone before he could speak another word. I soon felt my phone vibrate and looked at it to see a text from Yvette. ‘We will be there in 15 minutes, buying breakfast. :)’ I smiled and showed Louis the text. He nodded and got out of bed to grab a new pair of boxers, since I made the other ones a little bit dirty.
“I’m showering.” I stood up and waked over to my dresser. Since we both had a lot of clothes, he paid for all of mine, we had one each. There was no point in sharing. When I felt his arms around my waist I laughed and turned around in his arms. “You can’t join me Lou.” He pouted and I sighed. “I know. But they’ll be here soon. It would be just so awkward.” I shuttered at the thought and he smiled.
“I don’t care.” He shrugged and I looked at him with a sceptical gaze.
“I don’t care that you don’t care.” I shrugged and broke away from his embrace. He pouted but walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. I got in the shower, without caring that he was still in the room, and did my business. He left to go unlock the door and I snaked my hand out to lock the bathroom door. When I finished I wrapped a towel around my body and brushed my teeth before walking into our room and putting on some clothes. Since it was summer and extremely hot outside I decided to wear a long dress. It flowed really nice when you moved and was a beautiful coral colour. I loved it. I took one last look around the room and shook my head at how messy it was. With a smile on my lips I walked into the kitchen, where Louis, Yvette and Niall were sitting by the table. When they noticed me Niall threw his hands up in the air.
“Finally! We’ve been here for ages.” He spoke with a mocking tone and by the look Louis was giving him I understood they had just arrived. Instead of responding I flipped him off and walked over to Yvette to hug her.
“I missed you.” I smiled at her words and kissed her cheek gently.
“I missed you too.” I heard Louis snort and when I looked at him he was looking at me with a huge smile.
“You saw each other two days ago.” He stated the obvious and I just shrugged.
“Yeah, but we haven’t talked all that much in months.” I pointed my finger at him and Yvie placed her arm around my waist. Since she was sitting down her head ended up underneath my boobs as I hugged once more. Louis waved me off and turned his attention towards Niall.
“So, Jo said you were going to buy breakfast. Where’s the food?” I laughed out loud and Yvette joined in. Niall had a huge grin on his face and Louis looked clueless.
“She’s worn you down that good huh?” Niall spoke with laughter in his voice and when I hit the back of his head he couldn’t hold it in. Yvette joined in with him and I glared at her. She simply shrugged.
“It’s true though.” Her words startled me but I quickly recovered and stepped out of her arms. I scoffed at her while sitting down and crossing my arms.
“Just bring out the food please, and shut up.” Once more I spoke with a fake polite tone and Yvette stuck her tongue out towards me. Niall picked up a bag from the floor and placed baguettes and butter and stuff on the table. I felt my mouth water as I watched all of the stuff they’d brought and dug in as soon as Niall said go.
*An hour later*
I rubbed my tummy, feeling way to full for comfort. I leaned back in my chair and watched the few people around the table. Niall was still eating, Yvette was looking at her phone and when my gaze turned to Louis he was watching me. The thoughts of this morning’s activities came to mind and I blushed. Even though I was perfectly comfortable with Louis, I would die if someone found out what we had done. As if he noticed my discomfort he placed his hand on top of mine that was on my belly and squeezed it. I smiled lovingly towards him and mouthed ‘I love you’ to him. He smiled back, squeezed my hand once more and mouthed ‘dido’. Our moment was ruined, however, when Yvette cleared her throat and looked at me with a huge smile on her lips. Instead of speaking her mind she shoved Niall a little and he cleared his throat to speak.
"You ready to start practicing?" Niall turned towards me and I nodded. Even though I didn't want to perform and the idea of actually doing it freaked me out, I was quite excited. I started to stand up to join Niall at the door, silently agreeing on practicing at his place.
"So what are you going to sing?" Louis spoke just as I out my shoes on and when I turned to him I smiled, feeling a little ashamed.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I kind of want it to be a secret." He took a deep breath and for a second I could see pure panic in his eyes. I quickly walked over to him and hugged him to my body tightly before kissing his cheek. "Relax you drama queen. I'm not going to break up with you." I winked at him and felt him relax and place his arms around me. He rested his head against my shoulder and signed deeply.
"Oh what you do to me." His voice was so low that only I could hear his words and I lived that. Niall and Yvette were in a deep conversation by the door. After what felt like only seconds I leaned back and pecked Lou's lips.
"I'll be across the hall if you need me." He pulled me in for another passionate kiss, not unlike the others we had shared this morning. When he let me go and I started to walk over to where Niall stood with Yvette I felt cold all over again. It was strange how much Louis affected me by just kissing or holding me. I smiled towards Yvie as Niall and I walked out into the hallway. Apparently she was going to stay at our place until we were finished. Walking in silence, Niall and I got into his flat and I grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. Even though I didn't talk to any of the boys during the time I was together with Michael I still felt like they were my family. They treated me just like before, and I was more than grateful towards Niall for helping me. He was like a beat friend, a brother and a father figure all in one. Yvette was lucky to have him.
"So what song are you going to sing?" Nialls voice broke my train of thought and I smiled towards him. "Or is it going to be a secret from me too?" He winked at me and I laughed at him. He was such a weirdo sometimes.
"I was thinking about doing 'The Call' from the second Narnia movie. The song is by Regina Spector." He nodded and walked over to grab a guitar, he had several and never let anyone touch them. I tried one time, and he wrestled me to the ground. It was kind of scary.
"Yeah I know that one. Not sure about the chords but we can just google that." I laughed and nodded my head. Niall quickly pulled his computer out from his bag that sat next to the door and typed in google.com and the. The songs name. I waited until he was ready. I listened to him strum on his guitar, feeling the chords and sounds. Niall was always so mesmerizing when he was hiding a guitar that it was hard not to look at him. After a few minutes he looked up at me with a smile and nodded his head.
“You ready?” I asked him and looked at the guitar. He slowly nodded his head as he strummed the chords.
“Yeah I think so. We’re gonna have to play it through a few times and decide how you want to sing it, but it’s all good.” He smiled largely and looked up at me. I let out the deep breath I was holding and nodded my head. As he began to sing the opening lyric I followed and took over.
*The next day*
“Okay, so you guys are going to be interviewed after the commercial, even though there is none today. We are filming it all today and it goes live on Friday. Understand?” The tech guy was speaking to the boys as I was sitting on the couch behind them. They had already talked to me about what I was going to do and when I was going to do it. The show was going to start with Alan doing a monologue. He would then introduce me and Louis. We would walk out together and then almost instantly I would perform, with the help of Niall. After that he was going to interview me and Louis together and then after that he was going to interview all the boys. It was going to be an amazing day.
“Jo, babe.” Louis spoke and waved his hand in front of my face. When he was sure he had my attention he spoke with a smile. “They should be landing soon. You should call your mom.” I nodded and got up.
“Thanks for reminding me. I totally forgot.” I pecked his lips and walked out of the dressing room where all of the One Directions boys were crammed into. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialled the number Louis had given her. She picked up quickly.
“Hello Johanna!” She sounded really happy and a little out of breath, which made me smile.
“Hi mom. How’s it going?” I sat down by a window and looked out on all the girls outside.
“It’s going great! We are on our way to the studio as we speak.” I smiled and played with the hem on my dress. My mother knew that we were going to announce our engagement today, Louis and I had told her last night. She was thrilled for us and was super excited. When I later on told Sophie she screamed in my ear, because we were speaking on the phone, and I think she did a little dance too. She was really happy for me.
“Did Sophie make the flight?” I laughed and my mother joined in. When she started snorting I heard Sophie in the background.
“She said something about?” When my mother only laughed more Sophie’s voice came closer to the phone. “What did she say? Come on tell me!!” I imagined Sophie jumping up and down, since she always did that when she wanted to know something really bad.
“Mom, I’m really sorry but I got to go. Niall just came over to disturb me.” I stuck my tongue out to him and he flipped me off.
“Alright, I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.” I smiled and felt my heart become a little bit warmer.
“I love you too.” After I had pressed the ‘end call’ button Niall was all up in my face.
“Who was that huh? Was it Louis? Because you could just talk to each other face to face.” He stated nonchalantly and it made me snort with laughter. When I composed myself I looked at him with a serious stare.
“I don’t like to look at his ugly face.” I shrugged and smiled a little. “But no, that was my mother. They’re outside.” He nodded and laughed when I joked about Louis’ face. When he started laughing even harder I felt a little uncomfortable, because he had this look in his eyes that told me something was up. Before I knew it someone grabbed me by my waist from behind me and I screamed in fear. When I turned around I noticed it was Louis and my face softened into a smile.
“You didn’t have a problem having mah ugly face all up in your business this morning.” Louis whispered into my ear, making me blush dark. Niall didn’t heard a single word so he simply looked at me with a confused stare.
“Seriously Louis?” I slapped his arm and he laughed before pecking my lips and looking over my shoulder at Niall.
“You ready for the show mate?” Niall nodded his head and checked his phone really quick.
“Of course, I was born ready.” He snorted and looked down the hallway. When I followed his gaze I noticed Yvette walking towards us. Niall’s face lit up in a huge smile and he excused himself before running towards her. When I was sure Niall was out of earshot I plastered a fake smile on my face and turned to Louis.
“If you ever, and I mean ever, talk about what we do in the bedroom in public again, I will never and I mean never to what I did this morning ever again.” He smiled shyly and pecked my cheek and hugged me to him.
“I will never ever speak about what a sex goddess you are, in public.“ I stared at him in shock and felt my cheeks turn red. Ignoring my reaction Louis started talking about something else. “So you ready for this?” Deciding not to argue about the previous subject right now I sighed and placed my head against his shoulder.
“No.” I pouted and shook my head as Louis laughed. He lifted my chin up and when I looked at him he had the most adoring smile on his lips. “Look, I know I haven’t talked to you about your fans and stuff. But I’m actually quite scared about what they might think. Not scared enough to break up with you but still scared.” I shrugged and Louis cradled my face in his hands.
“I know it’s scary, and I also know there is nothing I can say to make it easier. But I just want you to know that I’ll be right there and I love you more than words can say. If you start feeling scared or nervous, look at me or Niall. We’ll get you through this.” I nodded my head and took a deep breath as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes.
“I love you too.” Louis leaned down and placed his soft lips against mine. The kiss was loving, passionate, heart breaking and all of those wonderfully loving emotions. We didn’t break apart until a stage worker told us that we were going on in a few moments. Louis guided me towards the stairs, where we were supposed to enter the set on. I flattened out my dress as we listened to Alan’s opening monologue. I was wearing a flowery dress that was very loose fitted. It was a strapless dress but since I never really liked my arms I was wearing a black silk jacket to match it. The dress wasn’t figure made at all and was just plain and straight. Which I liked really much since I never fit into figure made dresses. It ended just below my knees. I had on simple black heels with laces. Keeping it all simple I had my hair up in a bun and almost no make-up on.
“Babe, it’s going to go excellent.” I hadn’t realized my hands ever stopped moving but as Louis placed his on top of mine I became still and stared at him. He smiled softly and I returned is smile. Before I could thank him for making me a little bit calmer I heard Alan’s introduction for us.
“Which brings us to tonight’s guests! We have the lovely and gorgeous One Direction boys here tonight.” As he paused for applauds a man ushered us to the top of the stairs. “We also have a special little lady that is making her first ever TV debut tonight. Her name is Johanna Bjorklund!” The crowd went crazy again and I could swear I heard my mother’s voice scream. Louis and I giggled. “The rest of the One Directions boys will be back for part two but here is our very own Louis Tomlinson and Johanna Bjorklund!” We were lightly pushed to walk down the stairs and I held onto Louis’ hand for dear life. I was so scared to do this. When the audience came into view I almost fainted. There were so many screaming girls here. When I saw my mother, my brothers, Yvette and Sophie I instantly felt my heart rate slow down. Louis squeezed my hand and led us over to where Alan stood. Louis hugged him first and when I was supposed to hug him all I could do was laugh and almost squish him to my body.
“This way.” Alan spoke into my ear and showed us the way to the very familiar couch. We sat down and waited for the crowd to quiet before starting to talk. Oh, and I forgot to mention. I was wearing my engagement ring tonight. “So we’re not actually starting the interview just yet because you’re going to perform for us, is that correct Johanna?” I smiled largely and nodded.
“Yes I am.” I looked at Louis really quick and then back at Alan. “And call me Jo. Johanna’s a mouthful.” I laughed and Alan joined in. He gestured for me to take my place and I quickly walked over to where Niall was standing with the guitar. The beginning of this show was going great and I was thankful. As I sat down on the stool with a microphone stand in front of me and a mic in hand I felt the fear take over. But the second my eyes met Louis’ I calmed down and nodded towards Alan.
“Here is Johanna Bjorklund performing Regina Spector’s The Call.” He gestured towards me and Niall, and Niall began playing the familiar chords.
“It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye”
I looked over at Louis to try to read his reaction but he just looked at me with loving and knowing eyes. He understood what this song meant to me. I felt tears form in my eyes as I began to sing again.
“Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye”
The lyrics meant so much because they were about Louis and me. When I went away, when I broke up with him I wanted to badly for us to be able to be together again. Even though I was the one who disappeared he came back for me when I needed him the most.
“Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye”
I took a deep breath as Niall played the last few chords. My head was lowered and my hand on the mic as I waited for the audience to react. After a few seconds of complete silence they all started to cheer. When I finally dared to look up I noticed that all of them were standing up, including Louis and Alan. I blushed heavily and laughed as I heard someone whistle. My smile was large that it hurt my face and the overwhelming happiness I felt was amazing. When the crowd calmed down a little I motioned my hand back to Niall and they clapped a little bit louder. He came up to me and gave me a sideways hug.
“You did amazing. Good luck with the announcement.” I smiled to him and nodded my head as he ran up the stairs, waving goodbye to the crowd. I started walking towards Louis and Alan.
“Give it up for the amazing Jo Bjorklund!” Alan yelled and clapped even louder. I walked into Louis’ arms and hid my face in his chest as everyone began to whistle and clap again. After a few seconds I released myself from Louis’ grasp and turned towards the crowd. I placed my hand over my heart and mouthed ‘thank you’ over and over again. When I finally noticed Alan sitting down I almost groaned in happiness and sat down next to Louis. The audience also sat down but it took another minute for them to become quiet.
“That was amazing Jo. You smashed that song babe.” I smiled towards him and he pecked my cheek before our attention was directed towards Alan.
“Before anything else! A drink.” He gestured towards his globe and Louis and I laughed. He turned towards us and smiled. “So what shall the lady have?” I tapped my chin and thought about it as I looked into his globe.
“How about some Mintuu? You have that?” He looked inside and then grabbed something out of the ice bucket he had. I clapped my hands when I saw he had my favorite peppermint shot and willingly took the glass he gave me. A little too much maybe but it was so bloody good.
“So your lady likes it strong, how about you?” Alan turned towards Louis and did a flick with his hand. I laughed as Louis shook his head.
“I’ll just have a beer.” Alan groaned and looked at Louis with accusing eyes.
“Well isn’t he a party pooper.” I laughed along with Alan until I noticed Louis glare at me. I saw that he was fighting a smile but I tried to stop laughing anyways.
“Someone has to drive home.” Louis took the beer that Alan was handing him and drank from it. We both placed our refreshments onto the table and leaned back on the couch.
“That was an amazing performance Jo.” I smiled and placed my right hand over my heart, my left one was being held captive by Louis.
“Thank you so much Alan. That really means a lot.” I nodded my head as I spoke and Alan crossed his legs as he listened intently.
“So I know I’m the most fabulous and hilarious and most gorgeous host out there…” Alan was cut off when the audience started laughing. He shot them a dirty look and then turned back to us. “Sometimes we just get the rude ones.” He scoffed and I giggled. He really was an entertainer. “But anyways, you guys are here to talk about serious stuff aren’t you?” Louis nodded his head and released my hand. He placed his right arm behind my back and it made me feel a little bit safer. I didn’t notice it myself but I tensed up when Alan mentioned something serious.
“We are here to clear all the rumors going around.” All of my strength I thought I had disappeared and I felt paralyzed. “And we wanted you to be the first one who actually hears the truth.” That fact was true, even though Alan already knew the truth about the past year.
“So where do you want to start?” Alan spoke directly to me and all I could do was shrug.
“We’ve been ignoring the papers for a while now so we don’t really know what they have written about us.” Louis shrugged as his hand went to mine once more. I looked at him and he shot me a reassuring smile. I was still very afraid but I turned to Alan with a smile.
“Well then. Let’s start at New Year’s Eve.” I nodded and looked at Lou. He smiled trying to encourage me and when I turned back to Alan I was feeling safer.
“As most of you guys know I moved in with Harry and Lou in August last year.” I swallowed back the hesitation and spoke again. “My past isn’t something that I’m proud of and when I moved in with them I didn’t tell them about it.” I grabbed Louis’ hands and held on to them like they were the only thing keeping me alive. “I was in an abusive relationship with a man I thought loved me. When I broke it off with him he kept on insisting that we were going to be together. He threatened my family and close friends. I thought that if I escaped to London and hid, that he wouldn’t find me.” Alan was listening to me like he was interested in what I was saying. This was the first time he heard it from me.
“So this all led up to the party?” I nodded and took another deep breath, this was harder to talk about than I thought.
“I decided that it was starting to get too dangerous for me to stay, so I started to plan how I was going to leave. I knew that I couldn’t break up with him face to face because…” I trailed off and looked at Louis. “I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do it.” Louis smiled towards me and I turned my head to Alan. “It was the toughest thing I have ever done. It broke my heart to break his, but at the time I thought it was necessary. I moved out without either him or Harry knowing and got my own place. I forced Niall and Yvette to help me, and I’m sorry for that too.” I smiled a little to myself and shook my head. “I’m grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. Even though they didn’t agree with what I was doing they supported me.” Louis was rubbing circles on my back and Alan was nodding his head.
“You disappeared off the radar for about six months, can you tell us what happened during those months? When we heard anything about you a horrid photo of you with a very beat up face was the first thing to appear.” His head was tilted as he looked at me with a sympathetic smile. I nodded and continued.
“Just after I moved out I was found by the very man I was hiding from. Apparently he found me months before but stayed back. His best friend at the moment was the new principal at my school. It was because of him that I got my job back, after I got fired because I lived with the boys.” I waved that off and just said it was a long story. Alan nodded his head as he waited for me to continue. “I’m not going to go through all the events but there were a lot of hospital visits and a lot of broken bones.” I looked down at my hands and remembered all of the horrible moments. “When Louis decided to visit me, someone saw him and told Michael.” I looked up at Alan with furrowed eyebrows.
“And Michael was the man who you lived with and who abused you?” I nodded and tried to smile but failed. “I know this must be difficult for you Jo. And if you want to stop talking about it that’s fine.” I actually smiled towards him.
“This needs to be straightened out. I know that a lot of people hate me for what I’ve done. I know that what I did was selfish and cruel, but I only care about one person’s acceptance.” I looked at Louis and grabbed his left hand with mine. “As long as Louis loves me and stands by me, I don’t care about what others think.” I looked at Alan who had his eyes fixed on our joined hands. I looked at Louis who was smirking and smiled back to him. Alan had finally noticed the ring on my finger.
“Is that what I think it is?” He actually got up and pushed both Louis and I on the couch so that he could sit on it. He sat down next to Louis and lifted up my hand.
“I would also like to add that there is only one TV host in the entire world that we wanted to break the news to.” Louis spoke and Alan laughed out loud.
“This is so precious!” I laughed and Louis joined in. “How, when and who?” I laughed again.
“In a bathroom at Radio 1, about a week ago and Louis proposed.” I laughed afterwards when Alan lightly punched Lou’s arm.
“Bathroom? Really?” Louis laughed and nodded his head.
“The moment was perfect.” He turned his head to me and I smiled fondly. “Jo was upset and left the room when I was in the middle of an interview. I followed her and found her hiding in the bathroom. When she let me in and I saw her crying I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her anything but sad.”
“Is there a date set?” I broke my gaze away from Louis and looked at Alan.
“Kind of, we’ve decided to get married when all of my closest friends and family can be there.” I smiled and nodded towards Louis. “Well I decided but still.” I shrugged and continued. “In the autumn of 2023.”
“That’s five years from now.” Alan stated.
“Yeah, but Johanna and I want to have all of the people we love there. And a friend of ours gets out of prison five years from now so we want to wait.” Louis paused and looked at our hands. “As long as we are together I’m happy.” I squeezed his hand and smiled.
“Well isn’t that nice.” Alan nodded his head and sat back in his own chair. “So Johanna, what was your song about?” Louis and I laughed at his awkward attempt to change the subject but played along.
“About how our relationship grew. About our time apart and how we both knew deep down that we somehow would find our way back to each other.” I smiled towards Louis and he gave me a bright smile back.
“That’s the most adorable thing ever.” Alan looked at Louis and smiled. “Louis, before we have to go to break, what song or song lyric do you dedicate to Jo?” Without even thinking about it Louis began singing.
“'Cause obviously,
She's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin' me in and
I know I never will be good enough for her.”
Notes
Oh my gosh... This is so freaking sad... I'm not crying... Just a little bit..This is the last official chapter (8,800+) for How to Move! Next up we have the epilogue and then that's it! The story of Louis and Johanna is coming to it's end, and what a ride it has been!
I want to thank all of you wonderful readers who have stuck with me for this long, and to all of those who joined in the middle or just now THANK YOU TOO!
All of this wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for the amazing people who have subscribed, recommended and especially commented. You have lifted me up so high and I get all mushy inside just thinking about it! <3
As I have said before I am honestly thinking about doing a sequel but those news on how, what and so on will be released when I finish the epilogue!
How do you think the journey has gone? Do you think it will end the way you think or will I throw in a little surprise for you guys?
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LOVE YOU LOADS
- TheLovelyReader
@kaylabear
Oh this means the world to me! The story is finished and I'm trying to edit it into a book since it is some of the most emotional stuff I have ever written. Thank you so much for reading this! :)
4/4/16