It felt like I was floating. The pain in my body was gone and I felt happy. Everything was black but I didn’t mind, I was content. It felt so wonderful that for the first time in months be free of pain. As I was happily soaring through my own thoughts though I started to hear people talking. I frowned thinking they were disturbing my peace when I recognized a voice among them. His voice so soft and it sounded like he wasn’t talking to the rest of them. He tone was low and my mind started to focus a little bit more. Soon enough I started hearing his whispering words.

“I’m so sorry Johanna. This is my entire fault. If I hadn’t pushed you away in the beginning you might’ve believe me more when I said I wanted to keep you safe.” He paused for a second before continuing. “Gosh Johanna. I know I screwed up. Just don’t…” His words trailed out and when he spoke again it sounded like he was crying. “You have to wake up. I can’t live without you anymore. I had you back.” I tried to open my mouth to speak but it didn’t move. I wanted so bad to make him feel better but I couldn’t move. “I had you back and now you’re slipping away from me.” Before I couldn’t feel my body at all but now that he let out a sob I felt some pressure on my arm. It was almost like someone was leaning on me and shaking. If only I could tell him I was here, I was his.

“Lou, mate we have to leave.” A boy spoke and I couldn’t quite figure out who it was. All I knew was that Lou was the boy with the sweet voice. I felt the body touching mine move but it didn’t let my hand go. I was thankful for that because I think it was the only thing keeping me from falling asleep again.

“I’m not leaving her.” His voice was a hiss and the room became quiet.

“I’m sorry sir but visiting hours are over. You should go home and rest.” A female voice spoke and it made me confused. Where was I?

“No. I can’t.” I felt a slight pressure on my arm and it made me feel safe.

“I can stay here.” A boy spoke and he stayed quiet for a few seconds. “Lou, you need a shower. Go home, sleep and shower. Come back when you have rested.” I felt the hand holding mine squeeze it and then let go. All of the sudden I felt empty and I felt reality slip away from me. The people in the room continued to talk but their voices became more and more distant. Soon I was faced with blackness and silence.

Sometime later on I woke up again. I could feel pressure on my hand again and subconsciously I smiled. I felt my mind growing stronger and stronger for every time I was awake, but a little bit of that progress went away when I slept. I had woken up earlier by someone holding my hand but I soon heard that it wasn’t him, so I found silence again. This time however I could hear his voice there. He was talking to someone and I gladly listened in.

“Do they know how long time it will take?” He sounded so sad as he spoke and I hoped it wasn’t because of me.

“They just said that it can take a day or years.” The boy from before spoke with a serious tone. I didn’t know what they were talking about and frankly I didn’t care. All I wanted was to hear my angels voice.

“It’s been a month.” He stopped and I heard him sigh. “I’m not giving up. It’s just…” He paused and I felt my hand lift. “I’m scared she’ll never wake up.” I literally felt my heart break as I heard his desperate tone. He was really scared, and even though I didn’t understand what was happening, I was too. I tried to reach my hand out but nothing happened. I tried once more but it didn’t move.

“I don’t know what to tell you mate. I’m really scared too.” Silence fell over the room and a chair moved loudly. “I need to pick up Perrie. She wants to come here but… Yeah you know Zayn doesn’t want-…” He stopped midsentence and took a deep breath.

“I’ll be here.” He didn’t get an answer but the door opened and closed. The man next to me, who was holding my hand, took a deep breath. “Remember when I told you I called your mother?” He paused. “She’s coming. So you better wake up.” He chuckled lightly and I think he pressed his lips to my knuckles. “She’s not going to like the fact that you’re making her worry.” I wanted so badly to smile but my face was none moving. Suddenly I heard him stand up and he let go of my hand. I started to panic inside because his hand was the only thing keeping me from falling back. Only a few seconds went by without him touching me but it felt like forever. I felt my bed shift and someone lying down beside me. An arm snaked over my stomach and it was playing with my hand. I felt his hot breath on my ear and once more I wanted to smile.

He stayed quiet for a long time but when he spoke he was whispering into my ear. “Johanna.” He said my name with such grace I couldn’t help but feel my heart flutter. “I need to speak to you.” Those familiar words made my gut twist and I hoped he wasn’t going to leave me. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I really hope so.” He kissed my cheek gently and continued. “You’ve been sleeping for a month now and I’m really worried.” His voice wavered a little and it sounded like he was about to start crying. “I don’t want to give up, and I’m not, but please just give me something. Move your finger or foot. I just want to know that you’re in there.” He was pleading for me to move. Something I’ve been trying to do for a long time.

Now that I had his body so close to me it felt like things were a little clearer. I now could feel every part of my body that he touched and it felt so good. “It has been so hard without you Jo.” He hugged my body closer to his and it didn’t hurt. I felt his touch like I was fully awake but I had no pain. “When you left on New Year’s Eve I thought I would never see you again. And then when I heard you were back together with Michael…” He touched my stomach and then grabbed my hand again. “My heart broke even more, Jo. Not because you moved on, but because I was afraid what he’d do to you.” His words made me so sad. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for making him worry but couldn’t find the ability.

He kissed my cheek gently again and then pecked my lips softly. With the tears in my throat I could do nothing but lay there. He leaned back slightly but our lips still connected when he spoke. “I just love you so much that it hurts. It hurts whenever you’re not with me. Even now it hurts because you’re in a coma.” His words hurt so much. If I was able to I would be bawling my eyes out. He laid down beside me again grabbed my hand. “I just want to see you smile one more time.” That was it. A single tear rolled down my cheek. His words had struck me to my core and my heart hurt.

In an instant he noticed. I think he quickly sat up and began wiping my cheek. “Johanna. Can you hear me?” His voice was filled with hope and happiness. He squeezed my hand as a reaction I squeezed back. He practically squealed in happiness and began yelling for a nurse. I was so overwhelmed I felt more tears run down my cheeks and he kept wiping them away.

“What happened?” A woman said as she came into the room.

“She’s crying.” He sounded so happy to see my cry, it was a little ironic. The woman sighed and I soon felt a cold hand on my forehead.

“Sir. It can be a reaction to the nerves starting to work again. This doesn’t mean she’s awake.” Her tone was rather rude and I understood this wasn’t the first time he had called her in here.

“But she squeezed my hand too.” He lifted my hand and squeezed it. After a while I did the same and I heard someone gasp.

“Martha! Call the doctor! She’s beginning to wake up.” It was silent for a few seconds before the woman spoke again. “The doctor will come and check on her to see what state she’s in. He will tell you what happens now.” I think she left the room because it became quiet. He soon spoke up.

“I know this will take time but I’m so happy you’re on your way to being okay.” He kissed my lips and I wished I could hug him close to me. When he leaned back I felt cold and alone, but he still held my hand. The doctor walked into the room not long after that.

“Shall we see if we can wake up this little bird of yours?” He spoke with a happy tone and Louis laughed lightly.

“Yes please.” He kissed my knuckles and got out of bed. This was going to be a long road, and I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out. For the best I think, after all, I’m with Louis again.