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How to Move

Doing that

Doing that video for Louis was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I cried my way through it and silently hoped he wouldn’t hate me too much. I had told him that if he wanted to he could throw away the necklace I gave him, but I hoped with all my heart that he kept it. Because even though I knew it would never be safe enough for us to be together I really wanted my whole being to be his. He was my one true love.

So as I sat there in my new apartment, Niall had just left after us filming the video he was going to leave now, I wondered how my life could’ve gotten so screwed up. I looked around. This apartment had been mine for a month now. I had decorated it like I wanted to, and all of my stuff had been moved here. I sat on my new couch as I looked around my living room. Never before had I felt this alone. Silently my tears began to fall and thoughts off how my life would be from now on. Louis had done so much to me but all I seemed to do to him was break his heart. I would never say I regretted moving in with him and Harry in august, but I do regret the trouble I brought with me. In the past six months I’ve met the greatest people in the world and I couldn’t be happier about that.

When there was a knock on the door I wiped my cheeks and looked at the clock, I had been sitting here crying for almost two hours. I quickly wiped all of the tears away, hoping it wouldn’t be too visible that I had been crying, and then went to open the door. When I opened it I found Yvette outside, looking at me with concerned eyes. I waved for her to come in and she gave me a hug before walking into the kitchen.

“You hungry?” She yelled when I didn’t follow her. I shook my head and then realized she couldn’t see me. I closed the door and walked after her.

“Nah, not really.” I shrugged and she shook her head.

“Well you have to eat! Today is the first day of the rest of your life!” She smiled and threw her hands up into the air. I smiled at her and shook my head.

“I don’t feel like being optimistic today.” I looked at the counter that I was leaning on. I heard her sigh and soon felt her arms wrap around me. She spoke in a soft and calming voice.

“Someday, somehow, you two will find your way back. I know it. Things might seem hopeless now Jo, but they aren’t! This is a chance for you to learn who you are and make sure that you love yourself, before you let someone love you.” She leaned back and tapped my nose. “Because if you don’t love yourself, how to you expect some stranger to?” I smiled at her and stuck my tongue out. She always said things that made me feel stupid.

“Easy for you to say, Miss I-know-I’m-awesome!” I tossed my hair back and she shoved me.

“Ha-ha-ha! You are just soo much fun!” She stuck her tongue out to me as well and I smiled. I loved her for making me feel better. She hopped up on the counter and pointed at me. “Please make me an omelette.” It wasn’t a question, she commanded me to make her an omelette. I let out a small laugh and started to pull out the condiments that I needed. She sat there talking happily about her day and that she ran into Niall this morning. When she mentioned that I looked at her with questioning eyes and she smiled a small smile.

“He left three hours ago.” I stated dryly. I didn’t mean to sound judging but it came out that way. She nodded and looked down at her hands.

“I know. I ran into him outside and he asked if I wanted to have breakfast at his place. He figured you needed some time alone.” She looked up at me with worried eyes and I sighed.

“Yeah I did. Thank you.” She nodded and quickly changed the subject.

“So the weather is pretty today!” She didn’t say anything else and I just stared at her. I felt sorry for her, because she thought she couldn’t talk about her boyfriend with me.

“Please don’t do that.” She looked at me confused and I just sighed and turned my back to her while I kept talking. “Don’t act like they don’t exist. I want you to be able to talk to me about everything.” I heard her sigh and when I turned around she had a pained expression on her face. “I don’t want you to suffer because I can’t be with them.” I gave her a small smile and hugged her. She let out a small laugh and when I looked at her again she had tears in her eyes. I wiped them away and looked at her with concerned eyes. “What’s wrong?” She wiped away her tears and took my hands in hers.

“I know it’s going to hurt when I talk about them, about him. And it kills me to know that.” She pulled me into another hug and I smiled.

“You don’t have to worry. I’ll be fine.” I leaned back and gave her a bright smile. “I’ll have you to lift me up when I fall down.” She smiled and we hugged once more.

Yes it wasn’t going to be easy for me to so close to the boys but so far away. To know that Yvette was going to see Louis and to know that I couldn’t. It broke my heart. The next few months or years wasn’t going to be easy, but somehow I was going to build a life. I needed to be my own person, just as Yvie said, and I need to learn how to love myself before I let anyone in.

Little did I know that happiness was far from mine.

Comments

@kaylabear
Oh this means the world to me! The story is finished and I'm trying to edit it into a book since it is some of the most emotional stuff I have ever written. Thank you so much for reading this! :)

I have to say I love this story! I did once have a physically and verbally abusive relationship and it is hard to open back up! I love how you are bring awareness to this and how it is hard cause you do believe it is your fault! I love Jo and love how I relate to her! Please keep writing :)

This fic.......wow. I've been reading it for a while and I just fell in love with it completely! I'm about to read e sequal, which I can't wait to read! But I thought I should just let you know how brilliant and well written this story is.

@BriLovesStyles
I can't even tell you how much you personally mean to me now! This comment isn't only making my heart swell, it made me cry when I read it! I don't always like my own writing my I post because of people like you, and it truly means the world that you like it!
I will continue to write for as long as I live and I will continue to post stuff just for you and for people like you! Thank you love, and I love you! <3