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How to Move

When I woke up

When I woke up the next morning I felt really rested. I hadn’t dreamt anything at all that night, probably because I was emotionally drained. I looked to the other side of the bed but found it empty. Soph must have gotten up a lot before me because I didn’t notice her leave. I shrugged and got out bed and walked to the bathroom across the hall. I did my business and then walked into the kitchen where I found her cooking breakfast. She turned around and gave me a huge smile before turning back to the stove to turn the pancakes she was making. I felt my stomach yelling at me that it was hungry and it made me pout.

“Really Soph? Are you trying to kill me?” She let out a loud laugh before turning to flip me off.

“I thought you might want some pancakes on this sad, sad day.” She winked at me and I sighed. I actually needed some comfort food to make it through today. I smiled at her as I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured some juice into it. I sat down at the table and noticed that there were eight plates on the table. Looking at them with a confused face I spoke up to Soph.

“Hey Soph.” She turned around and looked me. I pointed to the plates. “Why are there eight plates out? I thought it was just you and me today?” I didn’t know why but she and I were actually talking English to each other. Right after I had spoken I heard someone unlocking the front door.

“Hello!”

“Hi girls!” Perrie and Zayn walked through the door, looking ridiculously happy. At first I stared at them with irritated eyes before I realized they got engaged last night. I screamed when Perrie lifted her hand and the huge ring became visible. Soph screamed too but her scream told me that she was totally surprised. I already knew he would propose but I wasn’t less happy because of that.

“OMG! I am so sorry I missed it last night!” I jumped up and walked over to her. As I hugged her tightly I gave Zayn a sweet smile.

“It’s fine! You didn’t look all to well when you left, so I understand!” Perrie leaned back after kissing my cheek. Zayn placed his arm around her waist and I felt a pang of jealousy in the pit of my stomach. Instantly the guilt started to build up and I felt ashamed.

“I’m sure someone filmed it right?” Soph spoke up and Perrie smiled at her. “I’m Sophie by the way.” She reached her hand forward.

“I know.” Perrie smiled sweetly before pulling Soph into a tight hug. She started speaking again after she pulled back. “Zayn told me the guys and he was bringing you here or well Louis the most.” She shrugged and looked over at me. I diverted my eyes to the floor and felt guilt build up once more. I wondered if they knew what I had done last night. I felt someone’s arm snake themselves around my waist and not to long after that I heard Soph voice in my ear.

They are nor going to judge you. Raise your head, they look worried.” I nodded and looked up at the pair in front of me. I smiled at them and they seemed to relax a little bit.

“Sorry.” I apologized and scratched the back of my neck. “I feel a little sick today, that’s all.” Zayn let out a small laugh.

“A little hang over are we? Saw you downing those shots like nothing last night.” He winked at me and Perrie slapped his chest. I laughed and nodded my head. I wasn’t hung over but that was better than the truth. “Okay, well I’m gonna go wake the boys up. We should leave in an hour.” He kissed Perries cheek and walked down the small hallway to the boys rooms. I smiled at Perrie and we walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. Soph continued to make pancakes. Us girls made small talk, Perrie told us about the big proposal and I apologized again for not being there. Perrie started asking Soph a bunch of questions about her life in Sweden and what she was into. Turned out that the two girls were a lot a like.

When they were gushing over how similar they were I just sat there laughing. When all of the pancakes were placed on the table Niall and Liam walked into the flat. They didn’t say anything, they just sat down at the table. They both looked like they were hung over so I wasn’t jealous at them for sitting on a plane for several hours today. Not long after that the other boys came out into the kitchen and they all slumped down on the kitchen chairs. I almost laughed at how they looked but when I saw Louis face I felt my breath catch. He was looking at me with dark eyes that told me he hadn’t forgotten me kissing that other guy. I cleared my throat and smiled at the other.

“Are you excited for today?” They all grunted in response and Soph started laughing. I looked at her and couldn’t help but laugh with her.

They are so freaking hung over it’s not even funny!” Of course we both thought it was hilarious. Since she had spoken to me in Swedish none of the boys or Perrie understood what she had just said.

“What did she say?” Liam whispered to Harry. Harry just shrugged and kept on shoving pancakes into his mouth. I smiled and ate some myself. I loved being served pancakes, hated making them myself even though I did do it for the boys. When I felt finished I stood up from my seat and picked up my plate. I put it in the sink, thinking I would take care of it later. When I turned around Louis was looking at me. I didn’t want to seem weak so I didn’t break the stare, but when he mouthed ‘can we talk’ I wished I had. I nodded and began walking towards my room. He walked in right behind me and shut the door so that the other wouldn’t hear anything. I sat down on the bed and fiddled with my hands.

“Why did you kiss him?” He spoke with a soft tone and it made him sound really hurt, which he was. I sighed and felt my shoulders fall.

“Because I want you to hate me, Lou.” I put my head in my hands and sighed again. I didn’t like where this was going.

“Well you succeeded with that.” I felt my heart break and the tears began to fall from my eyes. I hated hurting him. He sat there quiet for several moments before he spoke up, shocking me. “Then why did you tell me you loved me?” He sounded hurt still but also slightly angry. I sighed again as I felt helpless.

“You weren’t supposed to remember that…” I shook my head and pulled my hands through my hair.

“Yeah well I do.” That made me look up at him. His blue eyes boring into my soul, making me regret all the hurt I have caused. “If you love me, why won’t you let me love you too?” He looked down at his hands and he sighed.

“Honestly…” I began to become irritated. “I’ve told you this one hundred times Louis.” He looked up at me. “I’m not going to repeat myself. It’s better that you hate me. If you don’t understand still, call Simon. Maybe he can lie me out of this mess too.” I stood up from the bed and quickly walked out to the front door. I put on my shoes and yelled for Soph to come to the door.

Call me when they are gone. I need some time alone.” Instead of judging me she simply nodded and gave me a tight hug.

“Stay safe.” With one last smile I walked out of the flat.

Comments

@kaylabear
Oh this means the world to me! The story is finished and I'm trying to edit it into a book since it is some of the most emotional stuff I have ever written. Thank you so much for reading this! :)

I have to say I love this story! I did once have a physically and verbally abusive relationship and it is hard to open back up! I love how you are bring awareness to this and how it is hard cause you do believe it is your fault! I love Jo and love how I relate to her! Please keep writing :)

This fic.......wow. I've been reading it for a while and I just fell in love with it completely! I'm about to read e sequal, which I can't wait to read! But I thought I should just let you know how brilliant and well written this story is.

@BriLovesStyles
I can't even tell you how much you personally mean to me now! This comment isn't only making my heart swell, it made me cry when I read it! I don't always like my own writing my I post because of people like you, and it truly means the world that you like it!
I will continue to write for as long as I live and I will continue to post stuff just for you and for people like you! Thank you love, and I love you! <3