Beneath The Lies


Title/Cover: The title goes in the story, that’s good! The cover’s great. My opinion, I think the title on the cover should have been in white so you could see it better.

Summary/Description: Very good, but you gave a little bit too much away.

Genre (If it fits in what you have listed): Didn’t really understand why you have it listed under ‘Comedy’. Action & War are perfect, perhaps change it to Drama not Comedy. When people see that it might give them the wrong idea, you know?

Grammar, Spelling, etc..: A few mistakes here and there, but we all have those.

How You Portray the idea of the story & your characters: *You should list all of the main characters that will be in the story, not just the top two* The first chapter really gave us an overall image of Harry, he actually wants to succeed in his job, he’s determined and focused on it.

My Personal Opinion on it: I’ve been on this site for almost 3 years. I assure you that there aren’t many stories like this. Honestly, I’ve never seen any like this. Keep up the concept, TAKE IT SLOW, because everyone likes to be able to expect the least expected and the surprises and all that. So, slow is good. Continue on with how you right the paragraphs and stuff.


And an overall score of 1 to 10: 7


Tips/Things to Fix/Change: Just the things I mentioned. Maybe try to break up the paragraphs a little, just so it doesn’t look so short.

Notes

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