Harry's POV

"Amelia, come on you'll be late for your first day!" I call as I quickly gather enough food into her lunchbox. I don't know where the time has gone, it only feels like yesterday I was holding a small baby in my arms, now she's off to school. How did we get here so soon?

"Daddy, where's Mr.Sniggles?" Amelia asks as she walks towards me, her face is full of sadness. I watch as she plays with her long blonde hair, just like her mother in so many ways. She used to have her eye colour, but they changed to a green like mine, that's one feature she's gained from me at least. Other than that, she's just like Stephanie in so many ways.

"It's here in your bag." I say as I take Mr.sniggles out of her bag and pass it down to her. I watch as the smile grows beautifully on her face. "Now come on, otherwise you'll be the one walking in the class late and everyone will be looking at you." I tease and Amelia looks slightly put off.

"But I don't want to be late." Amelia softly winges as she grabs her coat and heads to the door. She still has hold of Mr.Sniggles tightly, we knew she'd want her favourite teddy to go with her today; there's no harm in her having comfort.

I close the door behind us and unlock the car, I help Amelia inside by strapping her in. It feels weird and quite sad thinking my baby is now a young child. I miss having her so small and led in my arms for hours, I loved feeling so connected with her. But now she's learning her little ways and heading to her first day of school. The love I feel for her is immensely high as I'm so proud that she's mine.

"Where's Mummy?" Amelia asks as she looks at me whlist holding Mr.Sniggles. I glance at her as I close the door and take a seat ready to go.

"Mummy will be at the school sweetie." I answer as I pull away and begin to make our way there.

"She can't be late Daddy." Amelia says and I smile as I know exactly what she's thinking. "She doesn't want everyone looking at her ." Amelia adds and I let out a soft laugh.

"I'm sure Mummy won't be late." I say positively as I fix my eyes on the road. I turn the radio on and turn it up a little louder as Amelia loves to sing along. Tapping my hands on the steering wheel, I start to sing to the current song.

"Daddy.." Amelia starts as I feel her eyes on me again.

"Yes.." I answer softly as I continue to tap my hands. I quickly look at her as she smiles.

"You sing alot." She says as she tilts her head to me. I laugh as I look away, I don't sing that much. "I hear you at night, you're singing love songs." She adds and I let the smile fall from my face.

"You hear me?" I check and she nods. "Daddy has to write songs for work." I add and she nods. I never realised she was awake listening to me, I alway thought she went to sleep pretty quickly.

"For Uncle Liam?" Amelia asks and I nod as I look back at her. Liam has really done well with our company. He's always having gigs and supporting other acts. He's finally got the big break that he deserves. "I like it when you sing together." She adds and I smile as we park opposite the school. I have a sudden flashback of us all singing in Hyde park on New Years Eve, that was one of the best nights of my life.

"Maybe one day you can sing in the studio." I offer as I turn my attention back to Amelia and she grins widely.

"And I will be the biggest popstar in the world." Amelia answers and I nod as I love her enthusiasm.

"Of course." I agree as we get out of the Car. I take her hand as we wait to cross the road. I'm trying to teach Amelia road safety and how to cross the road sensibly, even though she's only four and a half, I think she's getting it.




"Mummy!" Amelia squeals delightfully as she let's go of my hand as we step on to the pavement. Amelia runs into Stephanie's open arms. I casually walk towards her, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Hey." I say as Stephanie let's go of Amelia and stands up straight. Her eyes look into mine as a smile edges on her lips.

"Hey Harry." Stephanie says, her eyes quickly rip away from mine as Amelia shows Stephanie what teddy she has brought. "Oh Mr.Sniggles." Stephanie smile as she crouches down to Amelia.

"He's with me on my first day." Amelia says as she leans her head on her mother's shoulder. I watch as I try not to let myself get caught up in their emotion.

"Amelia, I think you need to go inside. All the kids are going in." I suggest as I try to avoid her fear of being late. She quickly wraps her arms around Steph before hugging me. I kiss her securely on the top of her head as we walk her to the school doors.

"Have a good day Sweetie." Steph says as Amelia begins to walk away waving. We both wave as we watch her step inside. "Her first day of school." Stephanie sighs a we begin to walk away.

"I know." I say as I look away. "How's thing with you?" I ask as I quickly glance at her.

"I'm okay, I'm on stronger medication that's controlling it. I'm better than ever, It's all looking up." She answers happily and I look away.

"Good to hear, so it will stay improved?" I ask and she nods. We often call refer Steph's seizures it as she hates calling it the proper name. I think it helps cover up the reality of it.

"Yes, I just have to control my blood and sugar levels, that's where my insulin comes in" She adds and I haven't heard so much excitement in her voice for years. She's never mentioned insulin before, but as I go to question her further she goes to speak. "How are you?" She asks.

"I'm fine." I answer as I start to cross the road. Steph follows and I turn to her ready to say goodbye.

"Harry, I was wondering about Amelia." She starts and I open the car door waiting for her to ask. "Can she come and stay with me? I know she comes to mine during the day but I want her over night." She adds and I shake my head as her suggestion throws me completely off.

"I can't take the risk. I've brought our little girl up by myself, I need to know she's safe Steph and I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable with that." I say as I sit down as she leans on the car door.

"You can't just deny my offer because of your insecurities. I know I can do it Harry, please let me try." I hear the plead in her voice but it's too hard to let her in again. I know she's Amelia's mother but I'm used to it being just us two.

"She's better off with me, you even said that yourself." I pull the car door away from her and slam it shut. I glance at her through the mirror as I pull away, I hate leaving her like this because she still makes me weak in places I wish she didn't. Everytime I see her it seems to get harder leaving her. It doesn't help that Amelia is the split image of her either, I'm still wounded by our break up. I'm not sure what to do.


I decide to stop off at Louis house on the way home but no car is outside. I take my phone and start to diall his number, I could really do with seeing someone right now. I just have too many things going round in my head, I need a little reassurance. I reach Louis voicemail and hang up. Before I put my phone away I receive a notification from twitter. It's a direct message from Niall.




Mate, I'm I'm the city tomorrow. Fancy a catch up? X




I smile as I quickly reply agreeing to meet him. Niall and I have grown close in the last couple of years, he's got a new girlfriend called Elsie and I think they're pretty serious; I haven't met her yet. Funnily enough, he was the one that jumped to check if I was okay when Stephanie and I split. With support from my friends and family, it made it a little bit more easier. His history with Stephanie is clearly in the past and I've put it all behind me, his true friendship means a lot. I start the car again and pull away making my way back home.

---

Stephanie's POV

I step into my flat and throw my keys on to the kitchen side. How could Harry refuse my offer like that? She's my daughter too. Resting my feet on the coffee table, I slouch down into the sofa as I try to stay calm. How did we end up like this? How did I lose him because of my stupid body. I wish I could turn back time and stick by him, I just threw it away too quickly.

"Hiya!" Chloe calls as she closes the door behind her. I look up as she walks into the living room. "You okay?" She asks as my breathing is a little faster than usual.

"Yes." I sigh as I look down and try to mentally calm myself. She sits next to me and takes my hand.

"How did it go at the school?" She asks and I shrug as I can't find the words. I look at her and she softly smiles supportively.

"He refused my offer." I say as I look away in shame.

"But he has to compromise with you, you're her Mother." Chloe says in a matter of fact.

"And an unfit one too." I sigh as I play with the bottom of my top. "He's made his mind up." I add as I let my head fall back and close my eyes.

"Oh come on Steph. You're not an unfit mother, you have a mild condition that you're in control of. He can't keep this against you!" Chloe slams as she stands up, I open my eyes and look at her. She takes her phone and puts it to her ear.

"Who are you calling?" I ask as I hope she doesn't say him. That's the last thing I need, more unwanted drama that will never help him change his mind.

"Harry, he's not getting away with this." She snaps and I quickly jump up and take the phone from her. I ignore the instant pain I've just caused to my head.

"Don't, please." I say as I hang up and place the phone down on to the coffee table. "Just leave it." I add as I walk away.

It would be easier if I lived on my own, but I can't be ungrateful for Chloe and Zayn. They put me up in their spare room and I can't thank them enough. I had to stay in London because of Amelia, there's no way I could return to Manchester. But sometimes I wish I had a small flat all too myself and just stay out of others way, I know in London I'd never afford it. I can help sometimes feeling like people are moving on with their life but I'm stuck in reverse.

"Steph.." Chloe sighs as I walk to my room and shut the door behind me. I lay down on the bed as I close my eyes.

---

"I'm not fit for this Harry! I'm supposed to be stress free but it's impossible." I cry as I sit on the bottom step of our stairway. He sits next to me as Amelia sits with her dolls, she doesn't realise my presence.

"Of course you are, you know you have good and bad days. Take it all with a pinch of salt." Harry says ask ex puts his arm around me and I shrug him off as I stand.

"You don't understand, you're not the one who's been traumatised like I have. You can be yourself and do all the things that you want to do. I have to get health checks, I'm not sure if I can even do much with my own daughter." I add as I wipe my eyes and nose, I feel my tears flowing more.

"You're being silly Steph, when will you stop punishing yourself and get on with life. You're here, you're healthy and you're a Mother. You know I'm here and we are a team, you're much better now." He says as he stands. I look into his eyes and I can see the sadness and pain that I am inflicting on him. How can I drag him down with this? He shouldn't feel like I do, I won't let him.

"The doctors have said you've got through the toughest part better than what you should have. You're diagnosis has dropped immensely and you're nearly back to how you were before." He adds reassuringly,

"But I'm not me, inside I'm not the same girl that I as. I've tried and tried believe me. But it keeps creeping up on me and I can't escape it. I'm a mess Harry and I can't be here, not around Amelia." I cry as my own words break my heart. He lets his head fall forward as Amelia walks up to us and wraps her arms around my leg. My beautiful two year old doesn't understand what's going on with me and I'm worried I'll confuse her.

"Go and play sweetie" I say softly as I stroke her long blonde hair, she looks up ad nods before heading over to her dolls again. I turn around and head towards the door, Harry follows me. "I need to go." I sigh as I take my coat.

"No Steph, I won't let you." Harry says as he reaches forward and takes my hand, I ignore the tears streaming down my face as I watch his. "Please." His voice cracks as I pull my hand away.

"You'll be better without me, trust me." I quickly open the door and escape before I burst into more tears In front if him. I don't know where to go or what to do, what have I done.

Notes

So many more answers to come to why Harry and Stephanie never tried to work things out and why she gave up so easily. It's easier for someone to hide the truth than to reveal them to their loved ones.


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