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Soft Whispers

chapter four


Louis smiled as he walked inside his home at the end of the week. It was a tiresome day but he worked hard for his earnings and was grateful for his Nan, Adele, to watch Jessie when he came back. She explained on the phone that the little one was running around all day with the energy of a hyena and as soon as Louis came inside Jessie jumped into his arms and showed him all she did that day. Lately she was getting more interested into finger painting and glitter art.

"That's lovely my darling. Were you good to your Nan?" Louis looked to Adele watching her eyes nod in response.

"Of course she was. She did everything I told her to do and I gave her ice cream earlier. This is what you are seeing."

"Yes." Louis' brows raised as Jessie shrugged, grinned widely and ran upstairs.

Louis chuckled as he and Adele hugged each other warmly and walked to the kitchen as she put on a fresh pot while Louis placed his shoulder bag behind the chair. He almost sat down at the table when he watched his Nan grunt as she brought out coffee mugs for tea. He stood up and walked to her.

"Here let me. Go sit down." He said, gesturing behind him.

"Nonsense, you just came in; I wanted to give you something to help you relax. Go on now."
"So now you're the one ordering me around now? I pay my taxes Nan."

"Hush now; you've had a longer day than I have. Go sit down and mind your business. Look over the mail if you must to do something."

Louis nodded and relented, knowing his Grandma doesn't easily take no for an answer as he busied himself to pick up the small stack of bills left out on the counter. He didn't feel like opening them right now so he placed them where the others were and decided to deal with them at another time.

He looked inside the pots over the stove, examining the contents. "What's this? Smells nice."

"Parmesan macaroni with chopped chicken squares. Jess was so proper today I made her favorite tonight. I managed to add some veg in there and she didn't complain at all. She really was a jewel all day Louis. I was so proud of her."

"I am too and very happy to hear that. I always worry she gives you trouble because it's just you here alone. Jessie has the energy of a circus animal. I adore her but she can be handful even for me." He said, taking something out of his shoulder bag.

"She was royalty. I let her watch Frozen and Tangled as we ate ice cream together." Adele said recalling the day; as the kettle whistled she immediately poured the hot liquid into the cups of green tea.

She brought them over to him as he smiled; they sat down together in silence.

Louis bit the end of his pen and wrote some notes into his steno pad. He normally left work where it belonged but sometimes it carried back home. He instantly put it away when his nose found the scent of mint and jasmine. He took the mug and brought the brim under his nose, closing his eyes.

Adele looked at him with an amused smirk. He looked like Jessie just now; it's amazing how much they resembled each other when they did certain things.

"I spoke to your father today." Adele mentioned, pulling Louis from his small reverie.

"Oh?" he sipped from his mug, placing it down, looking from his notes to Adele.

"Indeed, he wanted to come see you and Jessie on Saturday."

"Why?"

"Well, why not? She is his granddaughter." Adele spoke it as a fact, which it was, in bloodline. "I'm aware you two still aren't speaking."

Louis squeezed his pen then let it go when he realized he was tensing up. "Well, nobody's perfect."

"He means well dear, maybe this time it will be different. You two could start over."

Louis leaned back in his chair, carefully sipping from his cup, thinking over what Adele just said. He shook his head softly, feeling helpless.

"He called my child a mistake. I don't know if I could forgive him for saying that to me and for hurting Jessie. She is anything but a mistake. It's Angela who is the real problem. I don't have any issues with my father, if I could call him that."

Adele's mouth creased as she watched her grandson's face grow more conflicted. Bringing up Louis' father was a sensitive subject but she knew he wasn't truly mad at him deep down. "He realized what he said was wrong. He's willing to form a relationship with you and with Jessie."

Louis placed his mug down and brought his hands to his face. He looked and felt tired, it showed. "OK then."

Adele lamented, there was no way he was going to give him another chance. Louis and his father rarely saw eye to eye on things. They were from completely different corners of the spectrum. His father was a sniff-necked business tycoon from a Fortune 500 company that did business with Donald Trump at one point; and Louis was a working class compassionate blue collar entry level citizen. Louis never saw him as part of his family, Adele refused to accept that. This wasn't the first time she pressed him to reconcile with his dad. Adele still despite the circumstances, never gave up hope.

"Is there truly nothing that can convince you to see that he's changed? He is reaching out you Louis, reaching out to all of us, trying to make amends. You won't even allow him to see Jessie?"

"No," Louis groaned softly as he stood stiffly from the table to depose of his mug in the sink. "I just don't want the stress that will come with him in our lives. Jessie will be traumatized and I can't deal with that anymore. I can barely handle Angela refusing to get help."

Adele approached Louis carefully, putting her hand over his. "That is a separate issue dear. I have faith she will get help. I know her family is doing everything they can to help her to get well again. Louis, you don't have to blame yourself for her shortcomings. Things will start changing, I can feel it."

Louis gripped both sides of the counter then let it go. "We don't know that. Angela has ruined me and in the process she damaged Jessie, probably for life and now I am stuck with having to deal with lying to my own daughter every time she asks "when is mummy coming back?" I am so tired of doing this, I just wanna tell her the truth already. That she's not. I know Angela, she isn't going to better herself for anyone, not even for Jessie's sake."

"Don't you think it's unfair to speak like this for someone you once cared about? Maybe, deep down, someone you still care about. I know saying this doesn't solve everything right now but everybody deserves a second chance Louis. Your father, even Angela, because Jessie needs her mother, as much as I love caring for her, I love her dearly, she's my world, but she needs her mum back. Angela will always be her mother, even if she is deemed unfit. She deserves another chance and your support."

"She deserves nothing Nan. I'm tired of discussing this. I took care of Jessie, I was the one who raised her. I worked these jobs to make sure she didn't bleeding starve. I begged your help because I literally could not do this on my own while I worked to support everyone living in this house. I'm sorry Adele, this is my life now; Angela will never be her mother as long as I am in Jessie's life. Some people can't be helped; Angela is one of those lost causes." Louis said brashly, leaving the room before he really said something he might regret later; he felt it in his blood that he would have.

All the hurt Angela caused everyone was coming back to him full force and his entire body was shaking as he walked outside. He looked at his hands and went to the play area. He sat on the patio swing bench, the smooth rocking back and forth was meant to calm him down but was doing none of that.

Someone came outside, he knew it was Nan, but when he looked up shock had replaced his current expression.

"Daddy? Are you OK?" Jessie stood there, leaning against the doorway as Adele was behind her; a look a disappointment was sent his way.

He shouldn't have yelled. Sighing he forced his loose emotions inside, keeping everything to himself. She can't know, as much as it hurt him Adele was right but it still dug a hole in his heart as he watched Jessie's face transition from curious to solemn in seconds. He'd have to be more careful around Jessie being home. He made a rule when Angela finally left that his daughter would not see or hear him yelling and he shook his head as he broken his own rule.

When Louis nodded, he stood up from the bench and went over to Jessie, kneeling in front of her. "Yes I am, no need to ask my darling. Are you?"

Jessie almost frowned, putting her hands in her mouth. "I miss mommy. Daddy, can mommy please come back? I was good today I promise to be a angel forever and ever. Please?" She begged with passion.

Louis couldn't take it or he was probably going to explode with emotion. He leaned forward and brought Jessie into a gentle hug. When her little frame didn't tug away he spoke in her ear softly.

"I know you are a good girl. Nan told me all about it today, but unfortunately I can't bring mummy back right now. I'm going to try to help her out so she can come back to us, OK? I promise you my darling I won't bring you anymore tears. Mummy is going to come back." He opened his eyes and looked crossly at Adele from inside the kitchen.

He was lying to his own daughter, again, just to appease her. How long was he going to keep up this charade for her sake? When Jessie gave him a kiss on the cheek and pulled away, she skipped inside to get snacks. Louis didn't care that she was reaching for several items from the pantry that were probably not healthy for her but his mind was stuck on just how long he was going to prolong this lie.

Adele came outside and closed the door behind, making sure Jessie couldn't hear them this time.

"Louis, you need to keep your voice down, if Jessie suspected something is wrong she will be destroyed from the truth."

He bit his lip, running a hand through his long, messy hair in disbelief. He sat on the bench again trailing in deep thought. It was getting harder and harder now to keep this going. He was running out of reasons to keep doing it.

"So I should continue deceiving her? Angela isn't coming anywhere near my daughter." Louis whispered harshly looking at Adele with a strong expression. "You think otherwise but I know her. She played me for many years and now she's playing my family with this big contrived "sympathetic" act. She isn't coming back."

"You don't know that. Stop assuming she hasn't changed. I admit I wasn't anywhere near for all those times she faltered but I still believe Jessie deserves to have her mother in her life."

"She is not her mother. Her mother is dead to me. End of." Louis concluded, feeling %100 done having this discussion as he walked passed Adele and back inside to tend to his daughter who was about to devour the entire snack contents from the pantry.

The one thing he hated more than anything was opening old wounds and no solutions given. This particular abrasion needed to be sewn shut or everything would be worse for Jessie and he cannot have that happen again.

Notes

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. :)

Comments

@A_wonderland_rabbit

Thank you! That's so sweet. I have a lot of updates for this story. Stay tuned!

This story is so awesome! It gives me all the feels, like I feel little sensations in my throat and hands it's amazing! Please please please realise your story is wondeful and post it on wattpad :)

@rebel.
aww, i hope to update the next chapter really soon :)

@prismdreams
I can't wait for what's next install!

@rebel.
wow this is a surprise, thank you so much! you're so kind! i just blindly post here, it's always great to know someone who reads my stories. :) updating soon!