Doin' Dirt

“Talk about what?” He leans his arm on the side of the wall as he looks at me waiting for me to continue. My eyes trail along the muscles on his arms as he flexes it.

“Uhmm…” I’m seriously clueless. I don’t even remember walking down here. “I-I’ll just go.”

“Audrei?” My aunt calls me.

“Get in.” Harry stands straight. He looks alarmed.

“What?” I ask and before I know, he pulls me inside the room. “Let me go.” I move my hand away from his. “I never understand what we are.” I sigh.

“What?” He asks.

“You know-“ I sigh again. “This. You and I. We fight. I hate you but then ugh. Things right now for me is complicated. So, I’ll just go.” I turn around. What the fuck did I just say in front of him? I feel something heavy on my shoulder and as I look sideways, I see his hand on it.

“We can talk about this. I can be very understanding.” He smiles a little.

“You? Understanding?” I sarcastically remark.

“See. You judge me right away. How would you see the real me if you’re going to be that fucking way every time?” He lets go and moves back to the bed. He puts his elbows on his knees for support as he looks at me annoyed and confused.

“I’m sorry. I’m just- I don’t know. I’m a little lost right now. I’m sorry.” I say as I take my steps back to the door. As I open it, I see my aunt just right at the corner fixing some things. I close it back gently, not letting her know that I’m in here. I don’t want to get in trouble for being here, in this room with him. My mom will not like it at all. “I’ll stay here for a while, my aunt’s outside.” I say as I awkwardly stand in the corner, hugging myself with my arms.

“I never thought about you like this.” He speaks not looking at me.

“What do you mean?”

“You. You seem quiet, smart, clean..” He stops and looks at me this time.

“Well, now you know.” I lower my voice down. “How do you know that I’m those things? I never knew you.” I ask. I’m quite interested in this topic. What things will I learn from him? Or even within me.

“Just a lucky I guess, I guess.” He shrugs but I know he’s hiding something.

“Oh okay.” As the room gets quieter, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go out just to be sure. I walk towards the end of his bed and tap his shoulder. “Okay, I wanna talk.” I try to force a small smile which he returns one too.

“What do you wanna talk?” He asks.

“You. I wanna know things.”

“I’m not good in any of this. I don’t let people know who I am. I show it to them.” He replies.
“Well, maybe, now’s the time to change things.” I say as I put my hand on his knee. He looks at it and directly moves his stare to me.

“I won’t.” He looks away. I move my hand to his face, making him to look at me and as he did, I lean in closer.

“I’m going to say this once but I have admitted to myself something. And it’s about you. I’ll never say it until you’ll say yours too. I can be a mystery.” I smile.

“So, I’ll solve you. Simple as that.” He rolls his eyes. I back away a little, clearly annoyed with his attitude.

“Okay. Good luck then.” Without a question, I proceed outside.

“What are you doing in there with him?” I see my aunt with her hands on her waist as she looks confused and quite pissed. I roll my eyes in annoyance as I proceed upstairs to my room and change my clothes. I hate him right now. I can’t believe that I was going to admit that I actually like him. What the hell am I thinking? It was totally a big mistake that I made this choice but I can’t control what I feel inside and I clearly am confused on why I like him. “Audrei?!” My aunt shouts from downstairs. I slightly slam my door, ignoring her. I walk to my study table and take my notebook out as I position myself on my bed with my stomach flat on the sheets. I think for a moment on what to write and in a second.. something pops into my mind. A poem for him.

Things I can never learn to understand... why must love and hate be this way? Whenever it collides, everything falls apart but then, rebuilds again in the most complicated way. But not all I must say. Some things are just meant to be broken and left. He can be distant in a way I’ll never understand while I try to overcome my fears in my own shadows. He can be a distraction but will remain that way and I’m lost within these four walls, whenever I’m with him or not because in my mind, I’m guessing.. he’s building inside me. But then again, I’m not sure on what my heart tells me about the way I feel for him.

“Audrei?” I groan, turning to my left and open my eyes. I fell asleep? I look up and see Harry in front of me. “Audrei.” I hear his husky voice. Why is he in here?

“What?” I cover my face with my pillow, not wanting to see his face this close with mine.

“Wake up.” He shakes me.

“No. Get away.” I push him but he’s too strong for me.

“I’ve read your poem.” I can feel him backing away.

“What the fuck?! Why in the hell would you fucking do that for?!” I immediately stand and take my notebook away from him. “You have no right to read anything in here!”

“It’s a beautiful poem. For whom is it?” He asks, ignoring my question.

“Answer me!”

“I just saw it as you were sleeping, read some of the lines. It’s truly wonderful. You write really well.” He smiles a little.

“Get out! I told you, I don’t want to see your face anymore!” I walk towards him and push him out to the door.

“Please. I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. I’m just new to all of this.” He turns to face me.

“I don’t care. I don’t even know you or ever will I!” And before I know, he crashes his lips with mine.

Notes

a|n: i know it's boring as fuck but i don't want every chapter to contain smut but on the next.. well... idunno. lol. i'm sorry for this lame and late update but i'll promise to update tomorrow, the weather here is not that good. ugh. but anyways thanks for the reads, votes and comments, do continue them. and still love you all.
-d r e a

twitter/ask.fm: AndreaLoren98
kik: Andrea_Loren98
tumblr: blackhearted20.tumblr.com