"Well, I dunno! What should we do?" said Liam, sipping his tea. I don't know how they can even taste it without spitting it all over the floor.

"How about, we spy on Harry and Ashley's date?!" I said, getting all excited.

"No! We can't do that, that's not nice!" said Liam, scolding me.

After Hazz went back to cooking, Liam, Lou and I took a seat in the living room.

The rest of the girls went dress shopping for Ash's date. I, being me, was impossible to wake up. Zayn was sleeping, and wasn't getting up anytime soon. Niall is in the kitchen trying to eat some of the food Harry is making.

"You're such a bore, LiLi! I'm gonna go! No matter what you all said. And if you tell them, I will make you eat with spoons, while watching me rip your teddy bears. And I will take away your woody and buzz dolls, not to mention the movies!" I said, pointing a finger at him.

His eyes widened. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, but yes I would!" I said, rubbing my hands together evilly.

He was shitting his pants by now. His forehead was covered in sweat. He ran and hid behind Louis, crying in his arms.

"There, there my Teddy bear. I won't let her do that. It's okay. Hush now, Louis is here..." he said, stroking Liam's head like a mother.

I decided that I couldn't let this moment go to waste. I ran for my phone. I snapped a ton of picks of my first ever live LiLo moment. They just glared. Louis smirked. He got up.

"Can I see your phone?" Louis asked, taking a step closer. "Why?" I said, backing away slowly. "Give me the phone!" said an angry Louis, who was currently chasing me around the house with Liam right behind him.

"Delete the pictures Lou!" said a gasping Liam. He wasn't as fit as Louis—who always plays soccer— or me.

But damn Louis, cause he was fast. Must've been the years of soccer. Me? I was holding up pretty well. It had been a few years since I went to soccer. I expected to collapse after five minutes, for the lack of practice. It was like I was flying, my feet felt good, like I was used to it.

Back to the present. Lou was coming closer by the second. I ran upstairs. I was a better climber, since I loved the rock walls in the gym. And I grew up with a treehouse. I got up the stairs and dashed to his room.

I quickly sent the pictures to myself via, email. Even if he does delete, he'd never check my mail. That's when my phone was snatched outta my hands.

"That's enough with your silly pictures." he said, deleting the LiLo moments.

I pouted, secretly grinning that I have them in my mail.

"I hate you, you know that right?" I told him, trying to get my phone from him. He just ignored me and started looking at my phone. "Wait, is that Rachel?" he asked, catching me off guard.

"Huh?!" I said in an octave higher, my face paling. I took the phone, looking at the pictures of me and Rachel. It was the day before she killed herself. She seemed so happy at our sleepover. It was her first. I begged her for so many times, and I was surprised when she told me to come to her house to sleepover that day.

Now, looking at her face, I can see that the sparkle in her eyes died. That night, while I was asleep, she cut to deep. She drank to much. She took too many. And I didn't stop her. I slept through the whole thing. I woke up, just to see her dying on the bathroom floor. I held her and heard her last words. She asked me that if I could ever find a place in my heart to forgive her. She told me that she would try to stop Leo from hell. I reassured her that she'd go to heaven, and become an angel.

"Yeah, right *cough* *cough*, we'll see. I'll try to be your guardian angel. It's the least thing I can do for you. I'm sorry. And, I know this is childish, and impossible, but if you ever meet that band I always talk about, One Direction, could you tell them thanks? That their music saved me partially? I'm so sorry. I wish I could be the friend you deserve, the one without problems, the one that was always there for you. I'm sorry..."

I can still remember her last words. I looked at her picture again. I swore I wouldn't look at these photos and cause myself misery. I promised myself for her. I threw my phone on the floor, storming out with tears down my cheeks. I need to be away from the world. I need time to fix myself again. I've done it many times before, but it was always harder each time.

A pair of arms restricted me, holding me close to them.

"Lemme go!" I told him.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have went through those pictures. I know that your still hurt. I understand. But don't pretend that you don't want anyone. No one can stay that long without no one who care for them. No one. And I'm not gonna let you do that to yourself." he said.

I felt tears on my shoulder. He was crying. Why? I stopped fighting him so hard

"Why are you crying, Lou? It's not your fault. It's not your fault that I'm like this." I told him.

"But to think that you've witnessed death, firsthand. You shouldn't have been burdened like that."

"Wait. I said that out loud?"

"Yes, and there's nothing you should be ashamed of."

"Never mind. I don't care. I would like it the way it is, to have heard her final words, rather than to feel guilty to have not been there for her in her last moments. To let her die alone..."

I broke down. My legs went to jelly. I expected to fall to the floor, out of Louis' arms. But he caught me, and held me up.

"I'm sorry." I said. He probably thinks I'm just like those emo girls, who think that they have all those problems that are nothing.

"Don't be. You have no reason to be."

"Thank you. For not running away."

"No problem. I never would."

"Will you not tell anyone?"

"Sure. And if Liam asks why were gone for soo long.....?"

"Tell him that I locked myself in the bathroom, and that you tricked me out and deleted the pictures."

He chuckled. I could feel it, as I was pressed against his chest; trapped in his warm embrace.

"Okay. You okay?"

"Yeah, much better. Leggo!" I said, stepping out of his arms, tugging his hand and marching out, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Notes

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