My Light

Nora's POV

I wake up to the light streaming in through the bay window, being up so high you don't really hear the traffic on the street. In my building, even being three floors up you can still hear the people chatting from the street or the cars honking. Here it's just a distant sound. I stretch on the bed, I'd rather not get up, this bed is just so comfortable, really forming to your body.

Zayn is not here, I noticed it instantly when I woke up that he was absent. The bed was cold so I knew that it's not like he had just left. I rub my eyes and finally decide to get up, the weather is getting cooler, not something I enjoy but the floors are always colder. I literally have to brace myself for my bare feet to touch the hardwood floor. My tank top and underwear are just not enough as I find Zayn's closet open and rummage to find a pair of his sweatpants and a sweatshirt to slip on. It smells like him and I can't help but bury myself in his sweatshirt and close my eyes.

Much to my surprise I'm really starting to develop feelings for him. It's not just attraction that keeps me in, it's more. It's just surprising because I never thought I'd fall for someone who is who he is. I'm not saying it's love, but it's something. We just click easily, things are natural with us and I just look forward to spending time with him.

I cautiously open the door and see an empty living room, the blanket that I curled myself up in is thrown about on the couch. I can't help myself but go over and fold it, draping it nicely on the back of the chair. Zayn is nowhere in sight, not in the kitchen or in the loft that I can see. This apartment is so open and airy I just feel like twirling about, of course I have no dance experience so it would probably be a nightmare and end in knocking things over, I laugh at the thought of it.

Keys jingling in the door avert my attention as I make my way to the island and sit on the bar stools. Of course Zayn would be the only person on the other side of the door, someone with keys it's obvious it would be him.

“Good morning.” Zayn tells me as he peeks his head in, placing his foot on the door to pull his keys out. He tells me they get stuck at times and need a little extra force to remove.

“Hi.” I smile shyly, pulling at the hem of his sweatshirt, suddenly remembering I have it on.

“That my sweatshirt?” He asks throwing his keys on the front table.

“Yeah, hope you don't mind.” I pull sleeves over my hands resting my chin on my palms.

“No, I rather like it on you.” He smiles, his bright white teeth shining through. I think I could stare at him all day, just his smile, his longer jet black hair that curls just slightly, and his skin. “I brought us breakfast.” He holds up a white bag, smiling. “And coffee.” He knows exactly what I need, my coffee addiction is never at bay. Sleeping in today made me not as sleepy as I usually am, if only I could do this everyday.

“Thank you.” My feet are tapping slightly against the footstool.

“I just got bagels, I'm not much of a cook so I was hoping this will pass.” I watch as he sets out a few different bagels and different containers of cream cheese, searching the drawers in the kitchen for butter knives. It makes me laugh, he's been here for a few weeks and still struggles with where things are in the place.

I grab the cinnamon raisin bagel quickly, they're my favorite, and pick the plain cream cheese. “Is it really eleven?” I look past him to the clock on the stove, I never sleep in this late, probably ever in my life.

“Yeah.” He lets out a laugh. “I was up at six because Harry called and I couldn't sleep past nine. What's crazy is that I used to never wake up before noon.” He laughs. He has that like nervous laugh, it's never really full blown, it's a little reserved but it still makes me smile.

“Well thank you.” He looks at me from across the island, his brown eyes a little confused. “For letting me stay here, bringing me breakfast.” I nod my head to gesture towards the spread he's laid out on the counter.

“Of course. Are you free all day?” He asks.

“Yeah, I have Shelby coming in for the afternoon to fill orders and make sure all the flowers have water.” My mind is rambling, nothing is really that important for him but it's my business, my life. The stubble on his face is really starting to come in, it seems like recently he's been shaving frequently, his face has been smooth but that light stubble is something I enjoy. “Do you have plans then?”

“I was hoping we could just hang out today. Watch movies or relax on the roof. I don't know.” I almost take comfort in the fact that he seems to be a littler nervous. He always seems so calm and collected but in reality, he's a hot mess at times. Zayn leans against the counter then pulls back, bouncing a bit on his feet, rubbing his palms together devilishly.

“We can do whatever you want.” I tap my fingernails on the counter, finishing up my breakfast, eager for him to just relax with him. I've never spent a whole day with him, it's been time spots here and there or text messages here and there.

“I was thinking about heading onto the roof? They have some gardens up there and it's actually a really nice day.” I smile to stop him from literally bouncing up and down with nerves. I don't know what is going on with him, I've spent the night here, we had a mid morning chat, laid in bed all night intertwined and yet he's still nervous to ask me to sit on a roof with him.

“Come on Zayn.” I hop of the bar stool and come around the counter, pulling on his arm towards the spiral stair case to the loft. That giant circular window opens slightly for us to escape into the outside air. It has a nip to it, making me wake up even more than I already was. The rooftop is open to everyone in the building, Zayn's apartment being the only one that actually has access from his place, but since it's a Monday, it's empty. I'm thankful I've at least slipped on socks, Zayn hasn't removed his jacket from breakfast. I can feel him relax once we go outside and I drop back, letting him take the lead, I have no clue where he wants to take me.

“I've come up here a few times, the roof is not anything to be amazed with but it seems so serene, I draw up here a lot.” He admits to me and I can't help but think he's just let me on his little secret. I've noticed that Zayn is really protective of his art work, he shows me a few things here and there but I never ask, I want him to be comfortable with me to show me his personal work. He shares things easily but it's not all up for public showcase.

“It's beautiful up here.” I don't notice the noise, living in New York my whole life you learn to tune things out easily. I notice all the gardens on the other roofs, the sun hanging high in the sky, you can see the tops of the trees from Central Park. It's gorgeous in New york, you can find beauty in almost everything.

“I feel like we need to talk.” He stammers and my breath catches in my throat. I spend one night with him and share things I don't just tell everyone and now he's pulling the we need to talk talk? My feet instantly start bouncing, my hands find my hair to twist eagerly.

“Okay.” I try to smile but my muscles aren't cooperating.

“Oh, no,no sorry, not like that talk. Just talk.” He puts his hand out as if to stop my thoughts mid sentence and I let out a nervous laugh. “I just-” He pauses to take a deep breath, stretching his legs and looking straight out. “I just feel like since you shared so much with me this morning that I should share things with you.”

“Zayn, you don't have to.” I don't want that pity confession, that I shared something so you feel obligated to share.

“I want to.” He assures me and I lean back in my chair, waiting for him to take over the conversation. “I was married.” I bite my lips to prevent myself from smiling and laughing, judging from his facial expression, this is not the time to make jokes or laugh. “I loved Perrie, in some ways I still do, I'll always share a love with her.” Honestly, I understand. You don't marry someone that you don't love, you have a deep connection with that person. I reach across the table and grab his hand to let him know that I'm here for him.

“I'm not someone who can turn things on and off, I fall in love deeply, and I just don't always make the best decisions. I let myself get lost in that person.” I seem to not understand the gravity of this so called problem. “I struggle with it because sometimes I just let the other person influence me so much that I'll do anything to please them. I married Perrie because that's what I thought we should do, I mean we were engaged, so that was the next step. Then the band broke up, we got married and she was gone all the time for work. I didn't know what to do with myself. Everything just happened so quickly.” This is something that I don't know what to do with. I feel like Diane Sawyer staying in on a television interview. “I just want you to know that I don't want to be with Perrie anymore, I haven't wanted to be with her for a while. I don't want you to think my feelings are confused or that I don't know what I want. It took me a while to figure things out but she's not what I want.” I watch him swallow the lump in his throat.

“What do you want then Zayn?” I think out loud, almost not realizing that I've spoken. He takes a deep breath and looks at me.

“You.” He looks over his shoulder at me, a sly smile on his lips as he takes my hand and kisses the back of it, making me blush as I look away. Zayn wants me.

Notes

Hey everyone!! I'm back! Hopefully you all enjoyed this chapter, I have a variety of different things planned for this story and just to give you a warning, some of you won't like it, but I can assure you these were all my ideas from the start, they might be surprising! :) I'm excited for it.

I was going to post yesterday but I had only written half a chapter and it just wasn't working so I scrapped the whole thing and started over with this chapter. They don't always need and explanation but I felt like these two needed to clear the air a little bit. Her cousins wedding is coming up next, get ready!

Happy Wednesday!!

xoxox