My Light

Zayn's POV

I've settled in to my new place, mainly just got my new bed set up, the living room furniture delivered, a few things unpacked in the kitchen, I'm not a cook so it doesn't really matter about what I have in there, I’ll get to it eventually. I've already fallen in love with my new place. The way the sunlight makes everything light and airy, the way the breeze and city noise comes up when I open the windows.

People haven't figured out that I've bought a place here. I get spotted here and there by fans, a few articles written up about me but nothing like before. Before every move I made was under fire. Everything I did, bought, drive was photographed and put in the tabloids. Everyone I said hello to it was assumed I was cheating on Perrie or if I didn't say hi to someone I was labeled a dick. I couldn't win.

I've always been a private person. I prefer the quiet life, if given a choice I usually just wanted to stay at home and relax or hang out in the studio with friends. It was just something I preferred. It usually always kept me out of trouble as well. I think that even if I didn't enjoy it all the time, it was better than being in the spotlight.

Family is and always has been important to me, if my mum would have never made me go to my audition then I wouldn't have ever been given this life. I would have stayed in Bradford and went to school, probably in Manchester so I could stay close to my sisters. Probably would have met a nice girl, fallen in love, married, and had children. Would have stayed in Bradford my whole life, raised my family there, taught English and died there. And I would have been just fine like that. '

Now I have the luxury to do whatever I want. can have almost whatever I want, but it came with a price. My fame and fortune is a blessing and a curse. I have to constantly weed people out of my life that aren't good influences, people that will ruin my public image. It's easy to find people that are only my friends for the fame, they constantly want to be seen out in public with me, they only talk about me and ask what's happening with my life then I see it splashed about in the papers. I can't pretend it doesn't hurt, it does.

Even if One Direction split up, that wasn't the end of the publicity. I fear that it will follow me all the days of my life. Even my children will be a part of this monster people created. I love the fans, I always have, it's the rumors and the media hype that killed me. It's like when you're in high school, they say for some people it's the worst four years of your life but it will end, you graduate, move on. But with my life, it will never end. The constant media storm making up shit about you is ruthless. People making money for your heartache.

When Perrie and I had gotten married everyone loved it, people were searching for all of our pictures, paying top dollar for things we might have stepped on, or napkins that were served with champagne glasses. It amazes me what people what from my life. I'm really not that exciting. When Perrie and I split it was a nightmare. It was my deepest fear, she was living her dream and I had already done it. I was ready to be done with that life but she was just starting hers. In the end we had gotten to serious to quickly. The pressure of maintaining that life was too much. It's hard to only see your wife for less than half the year.

I think about that always, the end of Perrie and I. It's hard to stay together, it's easy to give up. The longer we were apart, the longer we went without calling or sending a text it's just too much. This fame is something I always wanted, I would dream of it but, sometimes, I would give it all back if I could.

I lay on the hardwood floors, soaking in the sun from the large window, thinking about things like I usually do. When you don't have a job or things to do on a regular basis that is what you do. I have hobbies, I like to take walks and stroll around the city, I wouldn't mind working out more and maybe even running but I'm not that ambitious.

Letting out a deep breath I'm done with just lounging. Nora is busy working, I always thought that I was busy and my life was crazy when I was in One Direction but Nora is on another level. She's constantly working, she's constantly thinking about work, researching new designs, getting up early, staying all day at the shop and leaving late at night. She works sometimes seven days a week and doesn't even take a lunch break.

I know she's tired. She gets home at seven and I can't even talk to her past nine because she's usually passing out asleep. But we still chat, I still try to to take as much time as I can to see her and make her smile. I love her smile.

We've known each other for a little over a month now, she had invited me to a Sunday dinner but she had told me her Nonna was too tired and we had to postpone. She had told me that it was something she didn't want to rush, just like with us. She wasn't all about labels, she was okay with just being us. Tabloids, for a shock, weren’t picking up on us and I couldn't be happier. Helps when Nora works so much that we don't really see each other outside of work. She had promised things would slow down at the end of September, wedding season was nearing an end.

I thoroughly enjoyed kissing her.

“So are you just going to lay there all day?” Azli throws a balled up napkin at me.

“If I want to.” I shout from the floor, eyes closed. I could just go out on the roof and soak up the sun, the days are getting colder, not terribly, it's almost the end of August but that takes energy. Energy I don't want to consume or use.

“Lets do something.” I finally open my eyes and look over at him, leaning against the kitchen counter, fiddling with the papers.

“What do you want to do? We can watch a movie.” I suggest, a homebody at heart.

“Have you seen Nora today?' He asks, just the mention of his mane has my heart racing, I haven't felt this way in a long long time. I don't even want to think about the last time I've had this feeling. Everyone falls in love, some people fall out of love and that's just life.

“Um, she's working.” I tell him, finally rolling over on to my stomach to relax.

“She's always working. I haven't seen her since we all went out that night I met her, she seems really cool though. I like her.” He nods in approval. It's nice to have friends here, friends that I know will have my back. You don't need so many friends, it's the quality, not quantity. “You should text her, see if she can have dinner with us, invite some of her friends or something.”

“You desperate mate?” I laugh. Azli is nice, he just doesn't have the best of luck with women. I can completely understand, I think if I didn't have the background I have I wouldn't have been able to be with pretty much all the girls that I've been with. I'm not smooth at all.

“Maybe.” He laughs, he at least knows how to take a joke.

“I'll text her, look up places you want to meet up at. She'll be done at like seven, unless Shelby is there then she can leave early.” I sit on the floor now, crossing my legs and resting my arms around my knees. I unlock my phone and pull up our conversation, smiling at the last few things we've sent back and forth. She's a sweet person.

To Nora: What are you doing for dinner? Azli has a crush on you and wants to see you.

I laugh at my text, we've picked up on our humor that we pass back and forth, she knows that I'm teasing. “Okay, I told her about dinner, we'll see what she says.” I set my phone down and wait for her to respond.

From Nora: Hey, might have a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Mom working, Nonna is upstate with my uncle. I've always felt this connection with Azli, I think we could work.

I try not to let this snort come out of my mouth but it escapes anyway.

“What's so funny?” He looks up from his phone.

“Nothing mate, got the place yet?”

“Yeah, E.A.T. Off of Madison Avenue. I'll call for reservations.” He fiddles around with his phone and starts heading down the hall.

To Nora: Come to dinner with us, bring a friend so I don't feel left out when you're making out with Azli.

I wait, stairing at my phone for her to respond. I just can't believe how much I like this girl. I wasn't expecting it when I saw her on the train. She intrigued me but now she's captivated me.

From Nora: You've convinced me. I'll bring my friend Jerrica, tell Azli I want to run away with him.

This girl has me hooked.

Notes

Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all your kind comments yesterday, I wrote this chapter before Zayn's departure and I didn't change it so hopefully you all are okay with it. :) Just a bit of a filler chapter if anything but I still feel like it's important. They will have a family dinner sometime so keep your eyes out. :)

Happy Friday!! I have a game tomorrow so I won't be updating until Monday, have a great weekend!!

xoxoxo