Timing is Everything (Liam Payne)

I'm able to get him on his side of the bed with out waking him. I have to get started on my Sunday night routine to be ready in the morning. With everything that happened this weekend, I need routine. I check my closet to make sure I have all my dry cleaning. I organize at least 6 outfits and matching shoes. I have food in the fridge to take to work. I sit down in the living room and call my mom, I don't tell her anything. This would really upset her so I keep it to myself for now.
I walk to the bedroom and peak in and he's lightly snoring. I get on my knees next to the bed, in the floor, inches from his face, I outline his lips and gently kiss them. He is so peaceful but the turmoil he has brought to my heart and soul is relentless. It comes in waves, at times I hate him and others I love him. I move my finger across his eye brows, I lean in and kiss him again. I decide I better get up before I wake him. I grab my book and continue to read on the couch.
Its time for me to go to bed and he has moved to the middle of the bed so I get in and attempt to slide him over, he doesn't budge. But what he does do leaves me in a quandary. He extends his arm and wraps it around me and pulls me in, kisses my head. He's still dead asleep. I lay there on his chest and decide I'll deal with it in the morning.
I awake and I'm not on his chest but his arm is over me. I roll over to see his beautiful chocolate eyes. He smiles. I roll on over and go up on my elbow.
"What to do about you" I say as he plays with my fingers. "As of right now, I don't have time to deal with this, nor do I want my emotions all over the place before I go to work. If you are here when I get home, we'll talk. Do not call, e mail or text me at work, I can not handle you at work. Understood? I am judgement day serious." His face tells me he knows I mean business.
"Promise"
Thank God he did not call me love. I get up shower and start getting ready. He continues to lay in the bed watching me all the while, not saying a word. I pretty much ignore him. I have to. My insides are dying. My heart wants to call into work, jump in bed and have mind blowing sex with him all day but my head is what is keeping me moving, away from him, just keep moving.
My day is any other working day. I do have a picture of us on my desk taken at the Eiffel Tower on the lawn. I look at it too long. I make a mad dash to the bathroom before anyone sees me loose it. I get the cry out, wash my face and go back to work. Unfortunately, this happens four times for different reasons. I amazed at the end of the day I got anything accomplished, but I did.
I don't call him. Almost scared to. Don't know if its scared he will be there or scared he wont. I get home and walk in. He's still here pilfering through the pantry.
"You have nothing to eat love"
"I do, its just different than what you're used to eating"
I close the pantry and ask him what he would like to eat, I'll call and order delivery. We decide on Chinese. I go to get changed into something more comfortable while we wait on it. As I head into the bedroom he starts to follow, I shut the door and lock it. I hear him put his head on it. After I finish changing I open the door, he's still standing there. He bends down for a kiss, I continue to walk.
"You're literally killing me"
"You have no idea then what you did to my heart. What if you two had kissed in public and I had to see a picture of it? Did you just kiss or was there more? You had better not lie to me."
He walks over to me and looks me straight in the eyes, "It was just a kiss".
"Thank you. I do realize you could have never told me about what happened and for that I am grateful but the deed is done. You cant turn back time"
"Please don't give up on us."
I look away as a tear slips out of my eye. He wipes it off.
"I don't want to but I'm left with not knowing how you will react if the moment arises again. I want to trust you, You've given me no reason not to, up until now. I sure as hell don't trust her.
He moves to me slowly and puts his hands on my hips, testing the waters to see if I'll let him touch me. The occasional tear escaping and falling down my cheeks. I look up at him to search those eyes for any deception, there is none.
"I am sorry. I don't know what else to say." He is slowly moving closer to me and I let him. He puts his arms around me. "Can I just hold you?" I let him. The tears are coming faster. I hide my face in his chest.
The doorbell rings, the food has arrived. I pay the man and take the food. We eat in silence.
"I'm taking a bath, I'll be back in a little while."
"Can I join you?"
"I'm not ready for that right now. You're going to have to give me a little time for my heart, mind, and soul to sort all of this out."
"Can I come sit on the edge and talk to you?"
"Maybe another night, just not tonight"
I need time alone in my tub so if want to cry, I can. I grab a glass and the wine and head back. He's disappointed. I just cant have him thinking that sex makes everything better.I turn the lights off and light some candles, turn on the Bose and slide into lavender bubbles up to my chin and shut the world out. I hear my bedroom door open.
"I said no Liam"
"I'm sitting right here in the floor, I cant see you, I just want to be near you. You know, that smells really good."
I lay my head back, he's hopeless. How am I suppose to think when he's sitting there talking to me about how romantic it looks, how good it smells, I like that song, have you heard so and so song? Then he starts rambling about this and that, about what his sisters used to do to him and what he would do to them. I wish I had ear plugs. Finally I just stand up and get out, grab a towel and walk out and look at him.
"Is this what you wanted to see?" as I open my towel then close it right back.
I go get back in the tub. Now its quiet. Finally.
"Now I'm horney."
"Get over it. As soon as I get out, you can take a nice cold shower."
I get out, towel off and get dressed. I exit the bathroom and he's still there in the floor.
"Comfy?"
"Now my ass hurts"
"Good"
I turn on the TV, grab my book and climb in the bed. He strips down to his boxers and joins me. He adjusts his pillows so he can sit up.
"Since you have the book can I have the remote?"
I give him a look and hand him the remote. He starts flipping channels. He finally finds something and pauses there. After a few chapters I realize I am tired and but my book on my night stand. I go to the bathroom and do my nightly routine and go back to the bed. He turns off the TV.
"Can I sleep with you?"
"If you behave."
I crawl into bed and get under the covers and start to get comfy. As soon as I get comfortable he slides right up to me and spoons with me.
"I thought you didn't like spoons?"
"I like this kind."
He puts his arm around me and pulls me close. I feel him breathing in my hair.
"You do know I do love you"
"Did you think about that as you kissed her back?" I say as roll over to face him. I'm being mean and I know it.
"It's why I stopped and asked her to leave".
I move in closer and kiss him, something simple. He moves in and kisses me, lingering. I return the kiss. He pulls me close as we kiss passionately making up for lost time. He tries to move over on top but I cant. I pull away.
"Just give my heart a little more time please."
He kisses me and pull me in close. "Take all the time your heart needs, but my dick has to leave Wednesday." I elbow him.
Tuesday my emotions are more in check and my mind is clearer. I get a lot accomplished. I have to start working on all the over seas accounts I have to re-visit after the first of the year.
As I head home, he calls me wanting to go out to eat. I tell him that's fine, pick a place. I arrive home and comes and gets in the car. We go to nice restaurant that can seat us for privacy. After eating we head back to my place.
I'm still in my work clothes, dying to get out of them. He sits on the bed talking to me, I start undressing, walking around in and out of the bathroom and closet. I walk by him and he grabs me and pulls me to him. All I have on are my bra and panties. I straddle him on the bed and sit on his legs, were face to face.
"Can I help you sir?"
"You have no idea" he says as he kisses into my cleavage. I push my boobs together making it more prominent.
My hands are behind his head, fingers feeling of his hair. He gets up holding me and puts me on the bed and removes my panties, my bra still on. He removes his boxers, its at full attention. He slides me back and puts his knees between my knees spreading them apart, his eyes never leaving mine. He uses his right hand to pull me towards him and enters me slowly. I moan. He exhales into my cleavage, his breath hot. I wrap my legs around his torso pulling him close, my hands on his back pulling him even more into me. I don't know what is happening but whatever it is, its electrifying. Every nerve ending is tingling, I can not get enough of him in me. I know I have scratched his back trying to pull him into me. I beg him to fuck me. He obliges and starts slamming into me. His hands are on my knees opening me up so he can get deeper. I come saying his name. He comes shortly groaning into my shoulder blade.
We lay there, him beside me.
"Now that, was make up sex" he says rather proudly.
"Agreed"
"Shower?"
"Sure"
We shower together and get ready for bed. We lay in the bed and talk for a long time. We talk about trust and how to avoid situations using different scenarios. He's trying so I have to give him props for that. Before I go to sleep I lean in and kiss his lips softly.
"I just might miss you"
"Still coming for Christmas?"
"If you behave. If you don't, Santa wont even come see you" I say laughing.
I roll over and turn out the light.
God I hope I'm making the right decision because I don't think I could handle going through this again, I think to myself. I close my eyes, his arm reaches over me and pulls me close.
"Oh, you might want to leave your shirt on around people"
"Why is that?"
"I left scratch marks on your back."

Notes

She heart has forgiven him but her mind is sending red flags.

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