The Outcome Of A Broken Love (Punk Direction #2)

Dylan was doing considerably better after he received the blood donation his da… Niall had made. The doctors let him come home three days later, and I desperately needed to do some grocery shopping.
So, Danny told me she would take care of Dylan for an hour while me and Owen went shopping to stock the house for a full month. Sometimes it amazes me how he never, ever studies, yet he does so well on his exams.
But I like it that he enjoys spending time with me, you know, to make up for the lost time.
I grab my car keys, my eyes desperately wanting to shut, so Owen steals my keys away from me and promises to drive himself. I nod and take a nap while he drives to the grocery shop.
I’ve been anxious for an entire week and a part of me didn’t let me sleep while Dylan was still on hospital grounds. My baby whose stomach bruises were now fading. Thank God! He was the same again, smiling and laughing about nothing at all, eating more than he should, but there’s nothing in his weight that concerns me or his doctor. He’s always in a good-mood, going along when Danny talks ‘the baby talk’ with him. He’s just normal overall. Luckily.
Owen stops and gently shakes my arm as my eyes snap open immediately, startled with the sudden movement after the first time I actually got to close my eyes for such a long time. But he only laughed and told me I drooled on my cheek and the glass. Wich I denied because I don’t drool, and the trip to the store wasn’t even that long for me to even come close to drool.
“So, what do we want from here today?” He asked me, grabbing the cart for me and everything
“Everything, doubled! I wanna spend a whole month in the house with my kid!” I say and Owen laughs
“You need to work to pay for these groceries!” He says, grabbing a pack of water and shoving it inside the cart immediately
“Yeah, I wish that I didn’t though!” I say and smile fondly
“Call dad, he can help you with that!” He mockingly says, but upon my change of posture “I didn’t meant to…”
“No, just forget it!” I say, and grab a pack of vegetables and shove it inside the cart under his attentive gaze
Owen has decided to meet dad, and let him know that we were two, not only one. And guess my luck, I’m the youngest of the two. He didn’t request any type of blood test, dad just looked at Owen and immediately saw me. Wich says a lot for my twin brother.
They made up for the lost time, me on the other way around, just stayed away, and when Owen came to pay me and Dylan a visit, he would always say how much dad missed me, and how much he wanted to know stuff about me.
I completely forbid him from telling dad that he had a grandson, and he promised me he would follow my requests if maybe I considered telling him someday. To that request, I was the one who had to give in.
We’re like missing pieces of each other, the same face of the same coin only because we’re so alike.
He’s in law school, and works as a part time mechanic for a hobby, a hobby that gives him enough money to start to pay for his college tutuition. Owen always asks me if I’m jealous, only because he’s in UNI and I’m not, but going to university was replaced with much better stuff, or yet, people.
“So, how’s Latin?” I ask, raising an eyebrow to his sour expression, expertly deflecting the subject
“Still not good!” He says
“I can help you if you want!” I say and he frowns “I took extra classes of Latin in school!”
“Of course you did!” he says, his hands ruffling my hair playfully as I laugh “Little nerd!” He accuses and I laugh louder, pinching his belly playfully.
I smile at him and walk towards to one of the expositors, grabbing coffee and juice! I return to the car and look around. I decide to go back to get more baby mash and greet someone who’s already there.
We reach for the same package of baby mash at the same time and we both withdraw when our fingers touch each other.
“Sorry, I…” I started, but the person turned around and I came to face the blue eyes that I loved so much “What are you doing here?” I ask
“What? I can’t even go shopping without you forbidding me of something?!” He snapped and I frowned, feeling my face hot
“For your information, I was about to tell you you could see Dylan when you ran out of the room! I was angry, I wouldn’t tell you you couldn’t see your own kid if I was fine, Horan!” I snap
“Dylan is a Horan too!” He says
“No, he’s a Skyes, not a Horan!” I snap
“Guys, guys!” Owen intervenes.
I can’t say I don’t find the way Niall looks at him amusing. He’s sizing him and the way he presses his lips against each other, he doesn’t like what he sees.
Owen is gorgeous. He has pale white skin and red thin lips, like mine. He’s taller though, and he’s way more muscular than Niall. I think he dislikes that.
“You must be Dylan’s dad! Niall right?” Owen asks, extending his hand for Niall to shake
He does, and I suspect he shakes it too hard, because Owen smirks and looks at me. He winks at me and the grip on his hand grows as he whines.
“I’m Owen.” He says and Niall looks at me.
The red in his eyes is a clear sign that he’s having a jealousy attack and is clearly wandering why I chose Owen, someone so different from himself. Wich, gross. Don’t think about your brother like that! Gross!
“Owen, take my keys and go grab Dylan, meet me back at the house would you?” I ask him and he nods
After he leaves, Niall turns to me.
“I don’t him close to my kid!” He says
“Dylan is around whoever he wants to, and he likes Owen, you’re not in the place to tell me who he can or can’t socialize with.” I say and grab the baby mash he was getting “Why are you getting baby mash anyway?” I ask
Niall doesn’t answer for a while, so I turn to look at him, frowning. He’s fidgeting with the yellow scarf he’s wearing over his t-shirt. And I never knew I needed Niall in a scarf until I saw him.
His thin neck is peeping out of the fabric, a mole seeable next to his jugular.
“Niall?” I ask
“I thought, maybe you could… you know, let me see him, have him over for a day!” He says, half begging “Anyway, I just wanted to be prepared!” He explained
“I meant it!” I say, head down
“What?” He asked
“I was gonna say you could see him.” I explain bluntly, taking the baby mash to the cart Owen had ‘parked’ close enough “Of course that was before you brought law into this.” I push the cart forward and he follows me, not before he grabs a pack of baby mash
“You have to understand, I … really thought you wouldn’t let me see him.” He explains, walking rapidly next to me
“Yeah, well, you should have asked me first!” I say and walk to grab milk.
The pack is so heavy it’s almost falling from my hands and Niall grabs it, our hands brushing. My organism goes ballistic.
Partially because he’s the only one who gives me butterflies, partially because I haven’t felt any human contact in two years and I need it right now. He sucks in a breath too, and his lips press into a thin line. For a few minutes, no one talks.
He only follows me around, grabbing his groceries while I grab mine.
I doubt he’s been lacking human company, and thinking about it hurts, but it’s part of trying to get back to my feet. I’m not going to lie to myself:
People lie to you! People are fake! People don’t love you! Who you thought was you mother isn’t! Your dad lied to you! Niall made you fall in love with him and he kept a secret!
But you don’t love him! You don’t love him!
After we both pay for our stuff, I’m considering calling a taxi or something, but Niall offers me a ride home.
I’m reticent. I don’t know if I want to show him where my apartment is. I don’t know if I want him to come inside and take a look around my stuff. I don’t know if I want him close again. Last time I let him in, he stole my first kiss!
But I end up taking his offer. Taking a taxi is an expense I would do fine without.
The trip is silent, and I still look outside and enjoy the view while he drives. Something about this is extremely familiar, how there’s a song playing in the back softly, how he breaths regularly, focused on the road, his hands pat the wheel sometimes, along with the rhythm of the song and the smell… his smell is all over the car.
I give him the directions and he reaches my apartment just fine. He looks up in awe. He probably though I would have a bad apartment. Luckily for me, I saved money all y life to pay for college. The college there’s no way I’m getting in now
So, that money served me well to get a decent apartment in the second to top floor, only Miss Novak, a graceful old woman, on top of my floor.
He helps me carry the things up the stairs and offers me help to put them back on. I hate to admit it, but I accepted because of the company, not because of the help. When we get inside, the windows are rolled up and the blue from London Eye is seeable over the smaller apartments as dawn is upon us and the lights from other houses are starting to turn on.
I turn the light on and walk through the living room to the kitchen. We put the things inside the kitchen island and start putting things back in place. He hands them to me, I put them in place. The system works, until he speaks again and I paralyze.
“How do you do it?” He asks “You seem so… collected! Didn’t it phase you at all?”
I immediately understood what he was talking about, I just hopped he wouldn’t bring it up. I wasn’t collected, I wasn’t collected at all after the breakup. I’m not collected now! I just want it to look like I am! I need to look like I’m not completely smashed to pieces inside.
The pack of rice fell from my hand and I bowed to grab it again
“You have no idea!” I sigh “I dyed my hair blond and partied nonstop for like a month!” I say
“And why did you stop?” He asked
“I found out I was pregnant.” I answer bluntly
Dead silence. I don’t want him to feel weird, I was the one who hid it from him, he shouldn’t feel bad. I understand why he got mad, after all I got mad at him for keeping a secret too.
“Look, I didn’t meant to…” He cut me off
“No!” He interrupted “I think I can…” He cleared his throat “I think I can understand why you hid him from me!” His eyes beamed sadly at me
“I went out of my way to keep the only good thing you gave me!” I explain
“I didn’t meant to keep secrets, I…” I cut him off
“Let’ just drop this subject!” I snap
“All I want to do is apologize!” He says, following me as I take the soap and shampoo to the bathroom.
“I don’t want your apologies!” I growl, sprinting back to the kitchen
“Why the hell not?!” He yells, pushing my against the kitchen island.
I whine with pain but he doesn’t let go or even shows any sign that he’s been affected. It’s clear that he’s pissed right now, and I don’t want to piss him any more. But I don’t want to answer his question either.
“I don’t get it. I’m telling you I’ll apologize everything you did, in exchange of your apologies for everything I’ve done!” He’s frustrated “Fuck I just want us to be together again. I love you! Haven’t stopped loving you Speedy.” He desperately says
To the mention of mi nickname I tear up, my head falling in his chest, forehead feeling the bump that is his left collarbone.
You don’t love him! You don’t love him!
“If we’re even, we can get together again!” He explains, raising my chin so I could look at him “We can be together!”
He sighed, taking a good look at me before he placed his lips upon mine. I blink forcefully, a tear runny down my right cheek as I clutch onto the sleeve of his black leather jacket.
A bolt of energy runs down my spine, making me feel like I haven’t felt in a long time: Alive! He’s just as unstable as I am. We’re two people, in love with each other who spent way too much time away, and we both regret it, but there’s no turning back now.
I feel something new, like a piercing, when his tongue brushes on mine, and my knees feel the insane necessity of pressing against each other. Unfortunately, I can’t because Niall’s standing between them.
I pull back and look at him, I blink when he connects our lips again, a tear running down my right cheek. And I know that I shouldn’t. And I know that I can’t. This can’t happen, but I clutch to the sleeve of the black leather jacket he’s wearing until we’re out of breath. When we pull back, his eyes are glazed, but there’s a twinkle now, and I know I don’t want to, but that needs to go away. His hope that we’ll be together has to go away.
I’m not depending on him anymore!
“It’s not just me now!” I whisper “It’s me and Dylan, I can’t depend on you!” I say, my forehead resting on the bump that was his collarbone “Not again Niall!”
And I love you was left unsaid, but I know I do.
After two years of denying it, admitting it, even if it’s just to myself is freeing and releasing. But I can’t love him, I can’t depend on him. I love him but I don’t trust him.
“I can’t trust you!” I say and he pulls back
“Seriously?! You can’t trust me!” He snaps “After you hid my child from me, you can’t trust me?!”
“It’s not just me God Dammit! The first time you make a mistake and blink those two blue eyes at me, I’ll give in, and I can’t!” I yell “I can’t!” I whisper frantically, rubbing my eyes of any traces of tears. I can’t cry now
“Fuck you!” He whispered, way too serious for my liking
“Like twice!” If he wanted this to be this way, then so be it. I happen to have the best lawyer by my side. His name is Owen Edward Campbell and he’s my twin brother!
He growled and stormed out, pushing the door open. Owen only had time to take a step back, carefully holding Dylan and stare at me with big brown eyes.
I broke down against the kitchen island, sobbing. I repeated the same chant again, but now I was certain it wasn’t true:
You don’t love him! You don’t love him! You don’t love him! FUCK, YOU DON’T LOVE HIM!

Notes

Here it is guyzz! I hop you like it. COMMENT MORE! I like to read what you guys think of it! Pweeze?!