Addie's POV
I wake up the next day tangled in my duvet. I go to the kitchen and grab something to eat before returning to my own room. I don’t remember when my mom came back yesterday night, but she was out again. She left a note that said she is at the grocery shop.
I have a ton of homework and I really need to get good grades if I want to go to college. I open my English notebook and take out the homework papers. Two hours after, I finally finish my essay. I heard the door open and close an hour ago, but never came out.
“Addie” I hear my mom say, before she opens my door. “What do you want for lunch?” she asks, standing at the door, still holding the doorknob.
“Something vegetarian” I say, organizing my desk. All the papers are scattered on it, and my laptop is buried under my book.
“I can make Mexican?” She says.
“Only if my burrito doesn’t have meat.” I say, looking up at her. She winks at me and then closes the door when she exits.
I decide to take a short break before I get into math’s homework. I open my door and a cold breeze comes in. There are dark clouds covering the sky.
As it rains, my mom, Aggie and I have lunch. We talk about school and about her work and about her night yesterday at Mrs. Hood’s. She lost track of time and came back pretty late. Then a silence fell, as I was making my second burrito.
“So, I talked to your aunt this morning” She says. Aggie and me quickly exchange a look, and then she speaks.
“How is she?”
“Well, she and Daniel were hoping to come and visit us soon” She says, not looking at us, busy with the wrapping of her burrito.
“When?” Aggie asks again.
“Well, she said something about next week.” She finally looks at Aggie and me. I shrug.
“But won’t that mean that they’ll know where we live?” Aggie asks the question that was forming in my head as well.
“We can’t hide from everyone, Aggie.” Mom says, looking down again. Aggie shakes her head in disbelieve, and she looks at me. She is angry. I look at mom.
“Is Lucy coming?” I ask, not knowing what to say. Aggie glares at me.
“Yes, Lucia is coming as well.” Mom says and smiles at me.
“I think it’s a bad idea” Aggie says, getting her plate and taking it to the kitchen. Mom looks at me for help, but I avert my eyes. It is a bad idea. I know that we can’t delete our existence from the Earth, but I kind of think it’s too soon…

After lunch, I go to my room. I finish all my homework, and by the time I do, it’s almost dinnertime. Mom announces to us that we are invited to dinner at Mrs. Hood’s house, which is just fantastic, since Calum is not allowed to be friends with me, let alone eat dinner with me. This should be eventful.
I shower and put on black jeans and a button up shirt. Might as well look pretty while I’m being glared at.
The sun is setting, when I get out of my room. Mom is ready, and we’re waiting for Aggie. When she comes down, she is wearing a navy blue swing dress with a flower pattern, and black flats. We walk the short distance to the house next door and we ring the doorbell.
Mr. Hood opens the door. He is wearing an apron and greets us with an excited hello. Aggie and I introduce ourselves, and we enter. The stairs are at the end of the short hallway. To the right is the kitchen and dining room and to the left the living room. We walk to the living room, being told my Mr. Hood that dinner is not done yet.
So we sit, and Mrs. Hood gives us drinks. So far, I don’t see Calum anywhere. Then they ask us questions about school and how we are doing, and Aggie says that she is friends with Marissa, and Mr. and Mrs. Hood exchange a glance which is really hard to read, before they subtly change the subject. They must not like her.
“Calum is out, but he should be back by now. He knows we have guests tonight” Mrs. Hood says, taking her phone and dialing his number. After a short conversation she hangs up and turns to us “He is picking up Marissa. Apparently, she is joining us.” She looks at Mr. Hood and he smiles, like it’s a rehearsed smile, and then says “The more the merrier”
My mom laughs, and Aggie cheers up because she’ll have someone to talk to, and I just feel like I need to roll my eyes, and fight the urge to do so. At least I’m dressed nice. Now two pairs of eyes will be glaring at my new shirt. Woo!
After fifteen minutes, we hear a car being parked in the driveway, and then the front door opens, and I can hear Marissa’s laugh.
They come in the living room, and Marissa and Aggie hug. She says hello to my mom and to Calum’s parents, but ignores me. Rude.
Calum says hi to Aggie and my mom and I half expect him to ignore me as well. He doesn’t. He sits across from me, and while Marissa talks to Aggie, his eyes are glued to me.
But the moment Marissa sits next to him, she puts his hand in his and leans forward, like a predator protecting her cubs. Without being asked, she tells everyone her plans to go to a university in America, in New York. And my mom is impressed and talks to her about schools in America. And Mr. and Mrs. Hood join in, and then Aggie says how she want’s to go to UCLA and then they ask Calum, and he says that he is unsure of what exactly he wants to study, and then they look at me and ask me, and I say that I want to study marketing and publishing so I can open my own book publishing company. Marissa almost laughs at me, like I’m a retard, and I manage to look more confident than I actually feel.
Calum is looking at me, and I cannot read his expression, but I don’t drop my gaze. I don’t care if Marissa is there, she doesn’t control what I think, who I am around and where I look.
Finally, dinner is done and we go into the dining room. They set an extra plate for Marissa, right next to Calum. I’m sitting across from him. The dining table is circular, and mom is one one side of me, and Aggie is on the other. Next to Aggie is Marissa, and then Calum. All the parents are sitting between me and Calum.
They eat duck meat, and I eat something that looks like meat but it isn’t. Mom told them that I’m a vegetarian. Aggie and Marissa are talking about something in school, and Calum looks at me every time Marissa doesn’t pay attention. I pretend not to care.
Mr. Hood then engages me into their conversation, and they like to hear more about my plans for marketing and publishing, and I am happy that at least someone is interested in it. I tell them about my love for books and that if I can’t write them, I would like to publish them and share them with the world. He sounds impressed, and mom is really proud.
Dinner passes quickly. I don’t look at Calum after my conversation with his parents, but I can still feel him glancing at me from now and then. Then, inconveniently for her, Marissa’s parents call her home and Calum goes to drive her home. His mom seems more than happy when Marissa announces that she needs to leave, and then they are up and gone.
Aggie talks to Mr. and Mrs. Hood after that, and they joke about something I’m not listening at and then after fifteen minutes, Calum comes back. By then, we’ve all moved to the living room. When he comes, he awkwardly stands in the hallway, and then says that he will do the dishes. His parents tell him not to, but he insists. And just my luck my mom turns to me and says “Addie, go help him” Aggie shots a look at me. If she didn’t I would’ve said that Aggie could help him, but that threatening look angered me. Oh, I’m not allowed to be in a room alone with Calum? Watch me. I nod, and stand up, going to the kitchen. I feel Aggie’s glare as I walk away. Finally, someone glaring at me in my nice outfit. I knew I didn’t dress up for nothing.
Calum stops a little surprised at my sudden appearance. I pretend I don’t notice, and pull up my sleeves.
“You don’t have to help me” He says, his voice low. I smile at him as if saying if I had a choice, I wouldn’t. But I do have a choice. And I purposefully made this one, just to irritate Aggie. Didn’t really think about the actual part where I actually have to be, actually, next to Calum and actually help him. I really need to start thinking things through.
We wash in silence. I pretend not to notice how awkward he is being, and how tense the muscles on his arms are, and how many times he opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped himself. Then finally, when we are done and I turn away to go back to the living room, he stands in my way. I look up at him, confused.
“I didn’t plan on her coming to dinner” He says finally. When I say nothing he continues “I told her that I’m having guests and that I need to go, and then she asked me who, and I didn’t want to lie so I said you, and she invited herself”
“You really don’t need to explain yourself” I say and try to walk around him but he, again, blocks my way.
“I didn’t want to make this bad for you” He said, referring to this whole situation.
“No, you didn’t want to make it worse for yourself” I say, and before he can say anything else, I continue “Calum, seriously, I don’t want to be here as much as you don’t want me here. It’s rude to leave, but I’ll go as soon as I see my window of opportunity, kay?” And I finally step aside him and walk. But he catches my elbow, and I jump a little, like shocked with electricity. He gives me these little electrical shocks every time he touches me.
“But…I want you here” He says, looking at me. What!?
“You want me in your house? Without Marissa?” I say, genuinely confused. I thought after yesterday, he hated me. So I prepared myself to hate him back. Can we be on the same page? I really don’t want to waste energy on contemplating what the hell he is going on about.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday” He says, finally letting go of my elbow. I don’t leave.
“I’m not going to apologize for slapping you with the cold, harsh truth.” I say, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I swear to god, if he says that I need to apologize I will impale him with the first sharp object that is in my vicinity. Right now, that is an umbrella under the coats on the hanger in the hallway. Why am I not closer to the knifes?
“No, I’m not asking you to apologize” Good, or this would’ve ended badly for you “I just…I don’t know.” He looks down. I look at him confused, and then I want to just leave, because he is making me uncomfortable. I don’t show it though.
“Well then figure it out.” I say and then he looks up at me, like a little lost puppy. I feel sorry for him for a moment “Seriously.” I say “You need to figure this thing out. Before you end up hurt” I say and then walk away.
I know how easily would it be for me to ruin his relationship. He wants proof that Marissa is cheating on him with Stephen. I have that knowledge. But I don’t owe him anything. So I have no obligation to tell him anything. If he wants to be this blind, fine. His problem not mine.
I sit down on the sofa next to my mom. It’s getting pretty late. My phone vibrates and I see a text from Michael.
‘Tomorrow you’re having lunch with us. No excuses’
I smile and I see Calum watching me from the hallway. He glances at my phone then comes in.
“It’s been really nice, Mrs. Benson” He says “But if you’ll excuse me, I have some homework to do, and I really don’t want to start off my year with bad grades” He smiles.
“Of course Calum. It was nice seeing you.” She says, his mom nods and he smiles at Aggie and says a faint you too. Then he disappears up the stairs.
“You girls can go as well” My mom says “It’s a school night after all” She says. Aggie and I say goodbye and then we exit the house. We walk to our door in silence, and before she unlocks it, she stops and turns towards me.
“You’re lucky Marissa wasn’t there to see you and Calum in the kitchen” She says, and then unlocks the door. I follow her inside.
“Honestly, I couldn’t care less what Marissa thinks of me” I say, taking my shoes off “I am not intimidated by her, Aggie. Her opinion of me is so irrelevant and I find it so pathetic that she even tries to scare me away, or whatever. I feel sorry for Calum” I say and start walking to my room.
“Why do you want to ruin their relationship?” She says at me “You seriously have issues, Addie”
“She kinda already ruined her relationship all on her own. You know, with sleeping with Stephen and all that” I turn and say.
“Ugh, not you too” She rolls her eyes. “Of course you think that, you are friends with Michael and the others.”
I smile at her. Yeah ok, Aggie, ignorance is bliss. Not feeling like talking to her, I go to my room and close the door.
I look at the text Michael sent me. I’m not going to be scared away by Marissa. No more self-loathing.
‘Where else would I sit? Like a loser in the library?’

Notes

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