Calum’s POV

I wake up the next morning a little before noon. It’s been gloomy for the past few days, so the sun and the, well…almost clear blue sky, apart from some dark clouds in the distance, is very welcomed. I shower and get dressed when I get a text from Ash.
‘Stuck babysitting. Please be up and come over’
I get a glass of water before I head outside to drive over to Ash’s. When I come outside, I see Aggie in front of her house, getting the mail. She waves at me, and I wave back. I wait for her to enter, before I take out my phone. I want to text Addie, just to see her. But then I stop myself. I don’t want to suffocate her with texting and calling her all the time. No matter how much I want to. So I put my phone back, and get in my car.
The music distracts me from thinking about Addie, and before I know it, I’m parking in front of Ash’s garage. The garage door is open almost all the way. Ash is there, Lauren and Harry, his younger siblings, are on the floor, doing, what looks like, homework.
“Hey” I say, and Ash looks at me and I can read his mind ‘I am so bored, thank you so much.’
“Heyyyy!!!” Harry jumps up, and gives me a hug. Lauren says hi with a little less power, and a lot of colour on her cheeks.
“What’s up kid” I ruffle Harry’s hair, and he starts about how he saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith last night, and that now he wants to be a spy.
After a couple of minutes, Ash makes them go inside to finish their homework, and they seemed a bit too happy, for someone who is going to be doing homework inside.
“They are not going to do homework, you know that, right?” I say, throwing myself on the beanbag.
“Yeah” He laughs.
“Where’s your mom?” I ask, fiddling with the snapback.
“She’s having a day off from us” Ash laughs, and gets up from his chair “She went into town with her friends.” When he sits back down, he is holding a very familiar box.
“Nah mate, I can’t” I say, as he opens up the box.
“Oh come on” He says, and takes out the rolling paper, and puts a filter at one end.
“I can’t come home smelling like pot. I have to go to Addie’s for dinner” I say, and the look Ash gives me makes me regret telling him this.
“Oooh, dinner with the fam? That’s kinda serious. You’ve been going out for like what….3, 4 seconds?” He teases and continues what he is doing.
“Shut up” I smile, and put on the snapback. “And plus…we aren’t actually going out because we haven’t actually…had a date”
“What?!” Ash looks up, and he looks confused and very ready to make fun of me.
“Well, it all happened so fast, and she was grounded all week, so we couldn’t actually go out, so…yeah.” I stop him before he continues to tease me “And now” I sigh “I feel so much pressure on this first date thing. I mean…I don’t know what she expects. I want it to be fun, and not like a boring first date”
“Yeah I get you” He says, rolling up the joint. “I mean, it’s not like you guys need to get to know each other on a dinner date or whatever. You already know each other.”
“Exactly!” I say, and turn to him. He is lighting the joint “Mate, your younger brother and sister are home” I say, as he exhales a cloud, and the smell hits me.
“Don’t worry. They are ‘studying’, remember?” He laughs, and takes another drag, before handing it to me. I take it.
“So what were you thinking?” Ash asks, as I exhale.
“Maybe like a drive in cinema thing? There’s one not too far” I say, taking another hit and passing it.
“Isn’t that too fast, though?” He eyes me and it takes me a moment to get it.
“Whattttttt?! I wasn’t…It’s not like…Ash!” I laugh, and go red at the same time.
“Well that’s what couples do in drive in cinemas, mate” He laughs. I groan. We then change the subject, but the thought stays with me. I had it all planned out in my head: Next friday, we take my car, and we watch some stupid movie which we can talk all through and not feel bad. Now I have to think of something else. Damn it.
Somehow, while high and a bit disoriented, we actually start writing a song. We laugh and at one point Ash orders pizza, two for us and two smaller ones for his siblings. They are happy, and go to watch TV or whatever they want to do, while Ash and I sit in the garage, and finish the joint. I almost forget about wanting to call Addie, for no apparent reason. Almost.
“Should I call her?” I ask, out of context. The conversation we were having a minute ago had nothing to do with her, and more to do with the vast, and very deep, ocean surface on our planet. Ash gets deep when we get high.
“What?” He looks at me confused.
“Addie. I haven’t called her today. Should I call her?” I ask, and take out my phone. I see a bunch of missed calls from my mom, and my dad, and some texts. “Shit” i say and open up the texts first.
‘Are you still at Ash’s?’
‘We are leaving in an hour, where are you?’
‘Okay, we’re going, and you’re not answering your phone.’
Those are from my mom. They don’t sound angry, but the one from Mali sounds angry
‘Are you fucking serious? WHERE ARE U?!’
‘U R BEING LATE TO YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND’S DINNER WITH HER FAMILY NOT A GOOD IMPRESSION!!!’
‘U r an idiot’
“Fuuuuuckkkk” I get up, and feel a bit light on my feet.
“What?” Ash gets up as well, panicked.
“Addie! I’m suppose to be having dinner at her place. Right now. With our families. Fuck!!!” I say and go to text Addie, that I’m coming when I get a text from her.
‘I thought we were gonna have a romantic date with our parents. Did you get cold feet?’
I know it’s a joke, but I don’t feel like laughing. I’m sure she doesn’t either. I look at the time, and it’s almost 7.
“Fuck mate!” I say, looking for my car keys.
“Are you in any state to drive?” He asks, walking to my car.
“Fuuuuckkkk” I say, and I can just imagine how red my eyes are, and how much I smell of weed. “What do I do Ash?”
“Well, did you reply to her text?” He asks, leaning on the side of my car.
“Shit. No. Should I say I’m coming?” I ask, taking out my phone and staring at her text.
“Well, you don’t want to leave a bad impression on her mom. Better late, than not show up at all” He crosses his arms. He is a lot calmer than I am. My mind is not thinking straight.
“Ok, so I’ll say we got held up with banding. Is that a good excuse?” I ask typing a quick text, that I haven’t overthought, to Addie: ‘I’m on my way’
“Better than ‘I was getting high and lost track of time’” Ash laughs, and when he sees the panic in my eyes he stops “Just get home first, change and put like…deodorant or whatever.”
“Okay, good plan. If I don’t die on my way home” I say and get in the car. Ash pushes off and shouts “Good luck” As I back out of his driveway, and start driving home.
I make a mental note to put gas next time I drive, and I drive extra careful, and somehow manage to get home in one piece.
I get in, run up the stairs, and take off my clothes. I wash my face multiple times with cold water, in hopes of clearing out the redness in my eyes. It does help a little bit, but doesn’t look convincing, so I go to the medicine cabinet and thank the gods, I find eye drops. I hate putting eyedrops, but I somehow manage to do it without taking my eyes out, and immediately, they clear out. I look as good as new.
I put on jeans, a clean t-shirt and spray deodorant. I look at myself in the mirror, and before I can change my mind, I run downstairs, lock the door behind me, and ring Addie’s doorbell.
Aggie opens the door, her hair in a braid, that ends right bellow her shoulders.
“You’re late” She smiles, but lets me enter. I walk in and see everyone sitting in the dining room. Mali gives me a death stare, but other than that, everyone seems happy. Mrs. Benson and my mom are laughing.
“Oh Calum!” Mrs Benson calls out “So glad you could come.
“I’m sorry I’m so late” I say. My mouth is really dry, and I’m trying soooo hard to pronounce each letter, and not conjoin all the words into incomprehensible mumbling.
“Why are you late?” My mom asks me, and I am way too aware that everyone is looking at me. This was a bad idea. I should not have come here high. This is horrible. Addie will be so mad at me if she found out. And, on top of all that, my parents will kill me. I’m screwed. Why the hell did I listen to Ash. “Honey?” My mom asks, and I realise everyone is waiting for my answer.
“We were stuck in traffic” I blurt out and smile. “The food smells good” I say, and take my seat on the empty chair next to Addie. Her hair is loose and straight, and she is wearing black jeans and a navy blue t-shirt that says CUTE in white letters.
“Help yourself!” Mrs. Benson, says, and I start piling food on my plate, and I consciously try not to put too much.
“Traffic?” My mom presses, confused.
“Um, yeah. Ash was babysitting so we took the kids downtown, and there was a lot of traffic on the way back” I say, not looking at her, busying myself with the food.
“Traffic is horrible in this city” My dad unknowingly fuels my lie, and the grown ups start talking about traffic and rush hour and comparing America to Australia. My sister eyes me suspiciously, but then she turns to Aggie, probably continuing a conversation that I interrupted.
“I’m sorry I’m late” I whisper to Addie.
“You okay?” She asks me, and I can’t even look at her in the eyes.
“Yeah” I lie “I’m just hungry” I don’t lie.
“Can you pass the salad?” Aggie asks, from the other side of the table. I concentrate on the salad, focus all my attention, and reach for it. I’m reaching. Still reaching. “Calum?”
I look at her confused, and realised…I haven’t moved my hand. I’ve just been staring at the salad bowl.
“Here” Addie takes it and passes it to Aggie. She gives a weird look.
Christttt. I’m already fucking this up. I pinch myself on the leg, and try to concentrate on the pain. It clears my head a little bit, helps me focus. I take a deep breath, and then drink the water in my glass, and then re-fill it. Ok. Water. Staying hydrated will help. It’s already helping. I feel fine. I feel great.
“Cal?” Addie looks at me, confused.
“What?” I ask her, trying to look at her in the eyes, but my eyes are not having any of it. ‘It’ being commands from my brain.
“You were whispering something?” She says back. Thank god no one is actually paying attention to us two.
“Was I?” Shit. Wrong response. I probably was. I was probably saying I feel fine, I feel great out loud. It’s been 10 minutes and she is already noticing something is off. I take a deep breath and smile at her. She turns back to her food, but it doesn’t seem like she’s dropped the matter.
My mom then asks me a question, something about school, and I try my best to answer without laughing. Yes. The laughing fits have arrived. They need to go away.
I manage not to fuck up completely, because I just smile, which is a normal thing to do, and my mom is satisfied with my answer.
Somehow we start talking about teachers and Aggie complains about her English teacher. Mali jumps in saying something. I think they had the same one. Addie laughs at something my dad says. I don’t know what. She is laughing a lot. She has cute little wrinkles around her nose when she smiles like that. I really just want to kiss her right now.
“How’s it going with the band, Calum?” Mrs Benson asks, and I face her. I have gained control of my eyes. Good.
“Pretty well.” I answer.
“It’s actually great!” Mali jumps in “They have a manager. What was her name?” she turns to me.
“Lucy” Addie answers.
“Oh yes, I heard.” Mrs. Benson sounds delighted. “Sound like she is doing a really good job right?” Everyone politely laughs, and I smile, hoping it looks genuine and not weird or anything.
“She is taking the whole thing waaaay to seriously” Addie answers. “You should see her.” Everyone laughs again, and the subject organically changes into something else, when I feel Addie’s hand on my knee. I almost jump.
She gives me a questioning look as if to ask ‘What is up with you?’
I just smile, and lean in to kiss her temple. She gives me a small squeeze, which again, sends a small jolt through my body, and then she moves her hand back. This dinner needs to end soon.

Throughout the whole dinner, I drink a lot of water, trying to get down from my high, and at one point, I can control my zoning out, and I don’t have to try to talk like a normal person anymore, I do it without all that extra effort. And I start becoming myself, and realising how much of an idiot I actually am. I get more engaged into conversations, and try to make up for all the fuck ups I did in the beginning.

After dinner, Addie and Aggie get up to take the dishes, and I volunteer to go instead of Aggie. I can see she is glad I did, because she was talking to my dad about college. I balance 4 plates, while Addie has three. When we are in the kitchen, and everyone is too busy talking amongst themselves, Addie turns to me.
“Are you okay?” She asks, her eyes intense.
“Yeah, I told you” I say, and to convince her, I kiss her quickly on the lips. “I’m really sorry I was late” I say, but I actually mean ‘I’m so sorry I was high’.
“You seemed really stressed out earlier, you barely talked to anyone.” She says, rinsing the plate and setting it in the dishwasher. I do the same to the plate I’m holding. “And you were really thirsty” she adds and laughs a bit.
I don’t say anything because I don’t want to lie, but I also don’t want to tell her the truth.
“Oh my god” She looks at me, and I can see the conclusion in her eyes. “Were you high?” She whispers, coming closer to me.
I look down, and continue rinsing another plate, not saying anything.
“Oh my god” She says, and she doesn’t sound like she is joking or anything.
“I am soooo so so so sorry” I say, before she can say anything else. She doesn’t look at me, she continues rinsing off her plate.
“I was at Ash’s and I completely loss track of time, and then I saw all the texts from my mom, and Mali and then you texted me, and I panicked.” I say. She still doesn’t reply “I regretted coming here the moment I walked in”
She looks at me, but she just looks hurt. I am saying all the wrong things.
“Not like-“ I begin and stop, when Aggie enters.
“You guys want wine?” She asks, opening the fridge and taking out a bottle of white wine”
“We’re fine” Addie answers, and smiles at Aggie.
“Alrighty” She says, and brings the wine to the table.
“Addie-“ I start to say.
“We’ll talk about this later” She says, and leaves me with one more plate.
I quickly rinse it off, and put it in the dishwasher, before I join everyone.
We all move to the living room at one point, and Addie is expertly hiding her disappointment, or anger, or any other negative feeling she may have towards me. She laughs and jokes, which makes me ease up. No point in being weird and moody. No point in everyone noticing something is wrong. So after a couple of hours, we leave and while my mom and Mrs. Benson are saying goodbye, I hug Addie and try to kiss her quickly, but she moves away, and gives me a smile that says ’kinda mad at you’
When we get home, my mom tries to ask me about our trip to the city, but I avoid any and all questions that I cannot vaguely answer, and then I get up to my room. I take off my jeans and put on the basketball shorts I sleep in, and a t-shirt. Mali walks in without knocking.
“Why were you really late, dickhead?” She asks, sitting on my desk chair.
“I told you. I was stuck in traffic” I say, sticking to my story. The last thing I need is Mali accidentally letting it slip. Not that she would ever rat me out, but I also don’t want to deal with her big-sister lectures “I feel bad enough without you giving me shit, so can we drop it?” I say, and her eyes soften.
“Okay.” She says and gets up “Please plan your time better next time. You should’ve seen Addie’s face when we showed up without you”
“What? What was her face?” I say, following Mali to her own room.
“She seemed a bit…I don’t know. Disappointed?” Mali shrugs, and sits down on her bed. “I mean I would be too if my boyfriend’s family came over without him, because he was too busy practicing with his friends. Seemed like…I don’t know, you forgot or something? You need to apologise to her by the way.” She says, and her tone said we were done talking. I nod and go back to my own room. I pick up my phone and dial her number, unconsciously walking towards my window and looking down at the door from her room, as if I can affect her decision of picking up or not.
“Yes?” She answers. She sounds a bit mad.
“Can I come over?” I ask. There is silence on her end. I see her pulling the curtain and opening the door, making eye contact with me, before she hangs up. A silent invitation.
I hear my parents going to bed and I slowly, and as quiet as possible, go down the stairs and out the back door. It has gotten a lot colder, so I am thankful for the hoodie I took from my closet. I look like a homeless, probably.


Addie’s POV

A couple of minutes later I hear a soft knock on my door, before Calum shows up dressed in basketball shorts and a hoodie. He puts the hood down.
“Hey” He says, standing by the door, awkwardly.
“Hi” I say. I don’t even know how I feel. But I know it’s not a good feeling.
“Listen” He says, taking a step towards me, while I stay rooted in place. “I am so so so so sorry I came like that. I wasn’t thinking, and I was focused on being late, so I got here as soon as I could. I swear to god it was not intensional, and I just lost track of time, I didn’t forget about the dinner, or whatever” He says and takes a breath. His voice is soft and low, so it doesn’t raise my mom’s suspicion, who I think is in the living room. “Are you mad at me?” He asks, bowing his head, and then looks at me through his dark eyelashes. I know he is sorry. I can clearly read that from his eyes.
“It was so shitty, Cal” i say, picking at my nails “You didn’t call me or talk to me all day, and then you show up to a family dinner thing high and weird.” She says.
“Addie” He takes another step, and I can almost touch him, if I extend my arm. I look up at him. His eyes are dark, and very apologetic. “I’m sorry I disappointed you. I fucked up. But I’ll make it up to you, okay? I promise”
“It’s fine. Just…please don’t do it again.” I finally say. He looks a bit surprised.
After he left I had a whole conversation in my head where I yell at him for being irresponsible, and for being a dickhead but I came to the same conclusion each time I re-did the conversation: we just started to go out, and yes I have the right to be mad at him right now, but I am not entitled to give him that kind of talk. This is not a serious relationship. Not yet, at least. We haven’t even had a first date, so I don’t want to come on too strong, as the girlfriend who dictates his life and gets mad and angry at everything. I wouldn’t want that. And it’s the first mistake in this…relationship, if you can call it that. So I decided, a moment before he came in, that I will not act like that. It’s how Marissa would react.
“Done. Never again. I promise” He says, and when I give him a smile, he wraps his arms around me, giving me a tight hug. I feel his heartbeat, and it beating so fast, before it slows down, while we hug. He smells faintly of weed, but I don’t mention it. “I’ll see you tomorrow, babe” He says, and kisses me on the lips, very gently. I smile at the babe thing, which just encourages him to kiss me a bit less innocently, and pull me closer to him. My hands, as if they have a mind of their own, bury themselves in his hair, and he takes a deep breath when I do that.
“Goodnight” i say, when I pull away. His pupils are so dilated and I can read the desire and lust in them, so I take a step back, and give him an innocent, child-like smile.
“Goodnight” He says, and then he is gone. I close and lock my door after him, and go to bed.

Notes

heyooo new chapter enjoy :D