Calum’s POV
I wake up. My back is aching and so is my neck. I open my eyes, and at first I think I’m still dreaming. But then I recognize Ash’s garage. I see a curly haired girl talking to him, whispering. I can’t understand or hear what she is saying. I see Michael, in a fetal position on the beanbag. And then I turn and see Addie. Her eyes are closed, and she looks so fragile, I’m scared that if I move I might disturb her.
“Calum” I hear Elena. “You awake?” My throat is so dry, so I just nod. “Do you guys need to get home?” I nod again “Well, it’s almost midnight.”
I try to move, but my back hurts a lot. And I realize I’m holding Addie’s hand. It’s too late, because her heads lifts from her knees and she takes her hand back, probably unknowing that it held mine.
“What time is it?” she asks. Her voice is hoarse. Kinda sexy. Kinda really need to stop thining about her in that way.
“Almost midnight” Elena says. She gives me a bottle of water, and then goes to wake Michael. I drink a few sips, and I feel like I haven’t had water in months. I give the rest to Addie and she drinks more than half of it.
“You okay?” I ask her. She nods, her eyelids closed. I feel so tired and so heavy.
“Apparently Michael is sleeping over” Elena tells us.
“Do you need help getting them inside?” Addie asks. Elena looks back at them. Ash is drinking water, and the only one who is still kinda asleep is Michael.
“Nah, I can handle it” She says. We say goodbye and walk to my car. I open Addie’s door and when she gets in I walk to the driver’s door and sit.
My back hurts like a bitch, and I rest it on the soft seat. I close my eyes, enjoying what seems like the softest seat ever.
“We’re not moving” Addie says. She has her head propped on the window. “Should you be driving?” She asks me.
“Who else is going to drive?” I say. I finally put the keys in the ignition, and we drive off. She opens the window. It’s drizzling outside, the small drops softly thumping on the outside of my car.
I drive in silence. I think Addie might’ve fallen asleep at one point. When I park the car I’m happy we didn’t get stopped or hit anything, or anyone, on the way.
“Addie” I say, lightly shaking her shoulder. Her sweater is soft and I don’t want to move away my hand.
“mmmm” she groans.
“We’re here” I say.
“Mhm” She says and slowly opens her eyes. She is not moving. Okay.
I get out of the driver’s seat and walk to the other side of the car. When I open her door she looks at me, squinting.
“Didn’t you just drive?” she asks. She is so disoriented.
“Come on, you need to get to your bed” I say and pull her by her hand. She follows my lead.
“Do you want to join me?” She says and laughs at herself.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you” I say and she laughs more. And then she is shushing me.
I walk to her door and she looks for her keys. After what seems like an eternity she finally finds them and gets them in the keyhole on the first try. Proud she opens the door. I stand in the doorway, not sure what I want to do or what I want to say.
She put’s the keys on the nightstand and takes out her sweater. She is wearing nothing underneath, apart from a bra, and I look down. She quickly pulls on the oversized t-shirt and goes to the bathroom. When she comes out, she has shorts on, her jeans in one hand and a toothbrush in her mouth. I look at her.
She looks so adorable walking around with her bare feet on the carpeted floor. She stands in front of me. The drizzle made my hair damp on the surface but I don’t care.
She brushes her teeth staring at me. She is still so very high. And then she is done brushing her teeth, so she walks to the bathroom and after a few seconds she comes out again. And then she is in front of me smelling of weed and minty fresh toothpaste.
“Thanks” she says. Her jade eyes look very dark right now. Mostly because the lights in her room are off, and it’s dark outside.
“For what?” I say, leaning on the doorframe.
“For bringing me home safely” She says and smiles, her eyes closing. I look at her lips. They are pink and I have the urge to cut the distance between us. Completely. But I don’t.
I just take her hand into mine and she opens her eyes. Confusion flashes, but she is too tired to contemplate what happened. I give her hand a little squeeze and then let it go, taking a step back.
“I’m giving you a ride to school tomorrow, yeah?” She nods and I start walking. At one point I turn around and say “Close your door, Elle” She smiles.
“That’s the stupidest nickname in the universe” She says, before closing the door.

When I’m in my room, in my bottom pajamas, under my duvet, closing my eyes, getting ready for sleep, I hear my door open and I hear Mali.
“So that Addie girl…” she says. I open my eyes. She is leaning on the doorframe.
“What about her?” I ask, propping myself on my elbows. My eyelids are too heavy.
“She seems nice” She says. I smile and then I hear her low laugh
“She is” I say.
“Do you like her?” She asks me.
“Just because I’m high doesn’t mean I will confide in you, Mali” I say. She laughs.
“You so like her” She says.
“Shut the door, please” I say. My eyelids are still closed, and I hear her laughter as she goes out and closes the door.

Thursday morning when I wake up, I feel like I haven’t slept all night. I drag myself to the shower and take my sweet ass time. When I exit, I put on clothes – jeans a t-shirt and a hoodie, and put some books in my backpack so it’s not completely empty. I go downstairs.
“Where’s mom?” I ask Mali, who is drinking coffee in the kitchen, with her phone in her hand.
“She left early” she says not looking at me.
“Is there anything for breakfast?” I ask. She points at the bowl of fruit. Great. I take a banana and an apple.
“Breakfast for your girl?” Mali asks, as I put on my shoes.
“Marissa?” I say a bit confused.
“Addie” She sends me a teasing smile. And then last night surfaces, like a giant tsunami wave. She must’ve seen the horror in my eyes and laughs.
“I need to hear about yesterday later.” She says. “Say hi to Addie.”
I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and I escape before she can tease me more. Oh god.
I walk to Addie’s door. It’s opened again. She really needs to start closing this damn thing.
“Addie” I say knocking on the door. She is in her bed, her eyes shut. She is still sleeping. I enter and kneel by her bed “Hey, Addie” I lightly shake her arm. Her bare skin is burning up under my hand. Her eyes shot open, and she jumps back a bit.
“What are you doing here?” She asks. Her voice is still hoarse, and she looks freaked out, breathing heavily.
“I am giving you a ride to school. Are you ok?” say backing up a bit. She looks like she might run if I come close to her.
“What time is it?” She asks, running her hand through her hair.
“15 minutes until class starts?” I say. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask again.
“Yeah, yeah…give me five minutes.” She says, and goes to her bathroom; she brushes her teeth as she takes out stuff from her closet and then walks back in the bathroom. When she comes out she is wearing a black knee-length dress, thin black tights and puts on red rain-boots. She takes her backpack and puts on a thick zip-up hoodie. Her hair is in a ponytail, and she looks like she didn’t sleep at all.
“Let’s go” she says, and exits. I follow her and we jog to my car. She gets in the passenger’s and I get into the driver’s. I drive off and right as I’m asking if she is okay again, my phone rings. It’s Marissa.
“Answer it” she says. I think she just doesn’t want to answer my question.
“Hello?” I unwillingly answer.
“Where are you? I’ve been waiting outside for five minutes, and we’re gonna be late!” She says. I completely forgot that I always give her a ride.
“Am I picking you up?” I ask. I look at Addie. She is so tired; she might fall asleep in my car.
“Aren’t you always?” She says, in a condescending way.
“I haven’t recently, no.” I say. I miss the turn to Marissa’s house. I don’t miss it as much as I purposefully don’t turn.
“Wow” she says “So you’re seriously not picking me up?” She says.
I’ve been driving so fast, I realize I’m already on the school parking lot.
“I’m already at school” I say and park my car with one hand.
“Fine” She says and hangs up. I put my phone in the cup holder and take out the keys from the ignition. But I don’t exit. Addie’s eyes are fixed on something. But it’s not something I can see. It’s something in her head.
“Addie, we’re here” I say. She looks shocked that we are already at school.
“Oh” she says “yeah.” And then she reaches for the door handle. I grab her elbow, and she turns to be, all wide eyed and confused.
“Addie, what’s wrong?” I ask her. She looks at me for a long minute, and then shakes her head, smiling.
“I’m just really tired” she says, and then she is out before I can say another word.

Addie’s POV
I get out of the car, and walk towards school. Calum catches up to me but doesn’t ask me anything. I’m glad. I can’t talk about it right now.
Classes are a blur. I fall asleep in firs period. And then on second period as well. And I’m awake most of third period. And then it’s lunchtime.
I sit outside and a moment after Luke and Calum join me. They are debating something I can’t even follow. Mikey joins after them. They all eat, and when I look at the food I feel sick.
“You feeling better today, Lukey?” Mikey asks him, drinking his chocolate milk.
“Not really, but my mom insists on me going to school” he says. He really does look sick.
“What’s up with you?” Mikey turns to me. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost” He says. I do my best impression of a smile to him.
“I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep well last night” I answer.
“Ugh, tell me about it” Mikey says taking another sip from his chocolate milk “That beanbag hurt me. I think I might have permanent back problems.” He says, massaging his shoulder. Calum says something that he might have back problems as well.
I have barely thought about last night. I remember everything in detail. The way Cal held my hand, and drew circles on the top of my palm with his thumb. And how he fell asleep, but he didn’t stop abruptly, but progressively. And how his hands were warm and mine were cold. And how he stood like in my doorway, his body outlined by a soft glow from outside, and how his eyes were red and bronze and at the time I thought they were magical. It barely crossed my mind, until now. My brain is kind of preoccupied. And I haven’t talked to Aggie. I need to talk to her.
I look at Marissa’s table, and I spot my red-haired sister. She is laughing. She has no idea. I check my phone one more time, to assure myself that I am not hallucination.
‘He knows.’ That’s all. That’s all the text says. If my cousin Lucy knows then my aunt knows, and if my aunt knows then my mom knows and she hasn’t told us. And Aggie needs to know.
I get up, suddenly overwhelmed.
“Dude” Luke says. He looks concerned. “Are you okay? You’re so pale…” He says to me. I mumble an I’m fine, and then I go towards Aggie.
I find myself in front of a table full of people I don’t like, but my eyes are glued to Aggie. She looks confused and surprised and a little concerned, probably because I’m increadibly pale.
“Aggie, I need to talk to you” I say to her.
“Funny” Marissa answers before my sister can “I don’t remember inviting you to sit with us” she says. I hear laughter from Stephen. Or maybe it’s Chris. I don’t really care.
“Aggie” I say again.
“What is it?” She asks. How can she be this calm?!
“Can we like…talk?” I say. I haven’t spoken to Aggie the past few days. I only talk to her in front of mom, but that’s pretty much it. I haven’t talked with her at all.
“Can we do it later?” She says. Is she…Is she embarrassed to talk to me in school?
“Can you like…leave?” Marissa says again.
“Marissa please shut the fuck up. I honestly don’t want to spend energy on you right now!” I snap. I can’t control myself. My hands are shaking.
“Or what?!” She says. She is now blocking my vision. I look at Aggie, but she is talking with one of the boys. Flirting. She won’t talk to me because she is flirting with some boy. Oh. My. God
I take a deep breath.
“Are you incapable of speaking?” Marissa laughs. The others on the table laugh as well. “Are you gonna pass out? Is this too stimulating for you? Can your little brain not wrap itself around my words? Do you need a dictionary?” She continues. I can’t even concentrate. I am feeling so many emotions its overwhelming me.

Mikey’s POV
“What is she doing?!” I say as we all watch Addie standing over Marissa’s table. Marissa is practically in her face. Addie’s hands are shaking. And the other people on the table are making fun of her.
Calum is the first one to stand up. I follow him and Luke follows me. Something is wrong with Addie.
“Do you need a dictionary?” Marissa laughs in Addie’s face.
“What’s going on?” Calum asks Marissa. She squints at him. I watch Stephen smirk. I want to punch that smirk off his face. I take Addie by the shoulders and slightly pull her back. Her eyes jerk open.
“I’m fine” she says, and stalks away. Just like that. She goes up the stairs.
“I think your new friend is retarded” Marissa tells Calum. Luke and I roll our eyes. I leave them to deal with Marissa and I follow Addie upstairs. I hear Calum’s low voice, saying something to Marissa and then they move away from the table. Luke stands completely confused, and then I lose sight of him.
I go on the third floor, just in time to see Addie go into the girls bathroom. I jog to the door and knock on it.
“Addie?” I say. She doesn’t answer. “I know you’re in there. Can I come in?” She doesn’t answer. I come in. She is siting on the tiles her face buried in her hands.
“Addie what was that all about?” I ask, kneeling next to her. Her shoulders are shaking. Is she crying? “Addie? You’re scaring me. What’s wrong.”
“He knows” She says. And that’s all I get out of her. She repeats it, and I don’t know what it means but I hug her. And she cries.

Notes

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