Make It Stop ⇼ Luke Hemmings

Dear Luke,
The night I found those pictures of Madison Brown on your cellphone, I wrote 'I love you' inside your favorite skinny jeans, so you'd remember me when you're with her.
Have you found it yet?
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
It’s funny how you and Madison are both missing.
Please tell me she’s not with you.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Is it weird that what I miss most
is your old, shitty car?
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
My good-luck necklace is still in your car.
I’m sure you have some of my other things, too.
Maybe you left because I wasn’t wearing it.
Maybe it gave me bad luck to take it off.
Maybe it wasn’t 100% my fault.
Maybe it was fate.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
There are bags under my eyes because I stay up all night
thinking about holding you.
I'm drained.
I'm tired.
I need you.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Please come back to me.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Why didn't you tell me that one can not save someone.
They can only love them.
It would have made your leaving a hell of a lot easier.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Do you remember when you used to text me at one in the morning,
telling me you can't sleep?
I'm sorry I never answered.
You know I go to sleep early.
How are you sleeping these days?
I'm not sleeping at all.
Now I know how it feels, though.
Because you're ignoring my texts.
Please text me back.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Tell me, how can I let go of things that shouldn't even matter?
Because it really shakes and fucks me up
and makes me think all these lousy thoughts.
Only, you do matter.
Please come home.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Do you ever stop to think, "man, I miss her"?
I hope you know I'd be willing to start over.
Against all my better judgment,
I'd be willing to try again if you called me to ask for another chance.
We can reintroduce ourselves and act like we'd never met.
We can forget all the memories and the past and fix the mistakes we made.
Maybe this time we'll make it.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I read a poem and thought about you today.
It think was about the day you confirmed my suspicions.
(That you were seeing Madison Brown)
It was about the afternoon I told you I hated you and I never wanted to see you again.
It’s about the night you ran away.
“Thank god for the soap in my eyes,
for the torn contact lenses,
for the scraped knees,
for the paper cuts,
for thorns in my heels and splinters under my fingernails
because for a moment in that bright white unexpected pain
I forgot about you for one pure and blessed second.”
I hope you read it and thought of me, too.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I haven’t slept in a week.
I finally got out of bed, though.
When I did, I found your favorite black Nirvana t-shirt lying on my floor.
I put it on because it smells like you.
I’m never taking it off.
Why did you have to take all of your clothes when you left?
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Ashton came to see me today.
I cried the whole time.
I think I ruined his t-shirt.
With love, Romy.


***

Dear Luke,
Mum is pregnant.
Owen is a dick.
Dad is still in prison.
I wonder how your parents are.
I think I’ll go see them.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I went to see your parents.
Ben and Jack are still staying at your house.
They say you’re at your aunt’s.
But they’re still sad that you’re gone.
You could at least call your mum.
She deserves to hear your voice.
She deserves it more than I do.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I started drinking again.
Would you care if I took all the pills I can find?
You probably wouldn’t.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Kaylee is having her baby soon.
We could be as perfect as them if you came home.
I promise I’m not mad anymore.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I’m sorry for telling you I never wanted to see you again.
I promise I was lying.
Have you started hurting yourself again?
Please tell me you haven’t.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Your mum just called me.
Its two in the morning.
She told me that you are coming home in four hours,
but you are only staying for the day.
She told me you did not want to see me.
She told me to come over anyways.
Please don’t kick me out.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I only came to give you the letters I’ve been writing to you.
I swear I was going to leave right after.
You wouldn’t come out of your room until I left.
So I did.
I never got the chance to give you the letters.
Why don’t you want to see me?
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Come home, baby.
Come home and hate me.
Please don’t forget me.
We’ll ignore one each others existence.
We’ll be assholes towards each other.
We’ll avoid our true intimate thoughts.
We’ll disregard the past.
Just promise me you won’t forget me.
That glimpse of me that you saw.
The real me.
Promise you won’t forget.
Come home and hate me.
Just don’t forget.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Mum washed the t-shirt.
The only thing I had that smelt of you.
I took it off to shower.
And she washed it.
She fucking ruined the smell.
I’m still wearing, though.
It still has your comfort,
I feel like I’m in your arms,
I feel like you’re still here.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I’m sorry.
Come back.
I’m dying without you.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I had sex with Danny from across the street.
The boy that you said you’ve always hated.
I do not love him
but he is here
and you are not.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I think I am going to kill myself.
I’m nothing without you.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
The things that used to make me cry
now just make my hands shake
and my eyes blank.
You are the only thing I cry about.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
Your pictures are still on the wall
and your laugh is echoing in the hallways
and your smile is still being used as my nightlight
I can’t do this.
Come home soon?
We can take more polaroids.
Remember that?
That was fun.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
It’s been two and a half months since you left.
I talked to your mum.
She promised to send the box of letters to you.
I’ve numbered them for you.
By the time you get these, I will be dead.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Luke,
I still love you.
Please remember that.
With love, Romy.

***

Dear Romy,
I got all your letters.
I came home as soon as I read them through.
I’m in your hospital room,
but you won’t wake up.
Baby, I’m sorry.
Please wake up.
The doctors said all we can do is wait.
But how can I wait when all I want to do is cry and scream and punch a wall?
I haven’t left you since I got here.
Can we start over?
Please take me back,
I’m sorry I left with Madison,
but if it’s any better, she left me a month in for some bloke.
That’s when I went to my aunt’s,
I never stopped thinking about you.
With love, Luke.
P.s. I never stopped loving you.

***

Dear Luke,
I’m sorry…
But I can’t take you back.
Sincerely, Romy.

Notes

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