~Cassidy~

“You are a very childish man, Harry Styles,” I noted, sighing as he pulled me up.

He grinned cheekily at me and snuck a small kiss to my cheek, jumping out of the way when I turned to swat at him. Without another word, he ran off towards the swings, laughing maniacally as he did so. I yelled a few curses at him and followed, taking off.

He made his way to the swing and collapsed onto it, immediately pushing himself off of the ground and beginning to move. I caught up, putting my hands on my hips and saying breathlessly, “Ass.”

“You love it,” he teased as I walked over to the swing beside him, sitting down on it but not moving. I simply kicked at the ground with my feet. Harry’s swing came to a halt as he stopped abruptly. I looked up, giving him a confused look.

His lips were pressed into a frown, and he looked genuinely concerned, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I cleared my throat, “’Course.”

“You don’t look alright,” he noted, and then he stood, grabbing my hands and pulling me up. I groaned dramatically at him as he pulled me towards the jungle gym. He led me up a small slight of stairs and over a few platforms, towards a large tube with holes in it. I laughed as he tried to wedge himself in there, finally succeeding.

He tapped the spot next to him, “C’mere.”

I slid in expertly beside him, my smaller frame allowing me to fit. He rolled his eyes playfully and muttered something about showing off, and I smirked at him. We sat side by side; I stared at the opposite wall of the tube, and he sighed, moving so that he was facing me, his longs legs crossed, looking uncomfortable.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he offered, and I smiled sadly, “It’d cost a lot more than a penny, trust me.”

“Name the price,” he shrugged, “I’d be willing to pay it.”

I smiled softly as how sweet he was before sighing , bringing my knees up to my chest, the pale moonlight shining in through one of the small holes in our little hideaway. “Just thinking,” I said tersely, “About them.”

He pursed his lips, knowing exactly what I was talking about, not needing me to elaborate or provide him with any other details. I sighed again and leaned my head back against the curved plastic wall behind me, suddenly cursing at myself for making things so serious. I hated talking about my parents; why had I brought it up?

“For what it’s worth,” Harry suddenly blurted, “They’re complete dicks for leaving you. I don’t know why anyone would ever want to leave you.”

His cheeks suddenly turned pink as the words finally dawned on him. I smiled a small smile, looking over at him through half-closed eyes, “Thanks, Harry.”

He shot me a nervous but reassuring smile. I closed my eyes, moving closer to him and leaning my head down on his shoulder. I could feel his body moving up and down with each breath he took, could feel small muscles tensing under the clothing that he wore. I exhaled heavily and felt his hands come up lightly, his fingers dancing like feathers along my jawline, moving closer and closer to my chin.

I opened my eyes lazily, looking up at him as he cupped my face in both of his hands, his breathing turning slightly erratic.

He leaned in, “Can I kiss you?”

“What’s ever stopped you before?” I teased him quietly, smirking lightly, and he smiled at me, leaning in slowly, like he was afraid I’d break if he pushed too hard. But I wouldn’t break. I was stronger than that, and I wanted to show him. I wasn’t some fragile doll; in fact, I was probably the farthest thing from.

I let my hands snake up and fist into the curls and the nape of his neck, pushing his lips to meet mine, wanting—needing—to show him that I wasn’t weak, that he didn’t have to act as though he was walking on small, spiralling cracks present in thin ice.

Our lips moved in perfect synch, mouths molding together. He tentatively let his tongue dart out, and it traced the outline of my bottom lip, asking for an entrance, which I gladly gave. I welcomed his tongue into my mouth, loving the way it glided effortlessly against my own.

He bit at my bottom lip lightly, making my breathing accelerate. His hands moved from my face down to my hips, gripping them tightly and trying to pull me even closer. I opened my legs, allowing him to take up a cramped position in between them, on his knees, but I don’t think he minded. My hands just kept on running through his hair, loving the way the curls tickled my skin; I was craving him, something I’d never felt before.

But then common sense flashed through my mind again, and I realised that this was not going slowly. I detached my lips from his and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pushing him away from me. He looked confused as he stumbled back, having no leverage to keep him from hitting the opposing wall of the tube, only two feet away.

He looked at me with a confused expression, panting, and his lips pink and swollen from what we’d just done.

“God, I’m sorry,” I choked out, tugging on the ends of my hair, hating myself.

“What—?” he tried to say, but I cut him off, “I’m such an idiot.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, burying my face in my hands. I was so fucking stupid. I wanted to be able to kiss him like this, but I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know if this was going slowly or not because I had no experience. And he had tons; I could feel it.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” his sharp voice cut me out of my thoughts, and my head snapped up. His gaze was hard, eyes ablaze, immediately putting me on edge.

“Cassidy Kane,” he began, his voice stern, “Talk to me.”

There was a beat of silence, both of us staring evenly at each other. I didn’t want to crack first, but his gaze was unwavering.

“You have experience,” I blurted, and then mentally face-palmed. I was such a fucking idiot. Hoping that my face didn’t look as hot as it felt, I continued, too deep to jump out, “And I don’t have any. For fuck’s sake—you were my first kiss! And here I want to go slowly, but I don’t know how slowly we should be fucking going, because I have no experience.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but I held up a hand, “Let me finish. I have no experience, Styles. And God—,” I brought my palm down on my knee in frustration, “—I just don’t know why you’d want me.”

I let the words slip past my mouth, now hanging in the air around us, announcing an unwavering finality. I let my gaze drift anywhere but his face, too ashamed to look at him now. I’d basically spilled all of my thoughts about—whatever this was—and that made me weak.

You’re his fucking girlfriend! Get it in your head!

“Fucking hell,” Harry groaned, and simply the tone of his voice made my eyes flicker to him. He pulled on the roots of his hair, making it stick straight up, and I once again felt myself wanting to kiss him, but I resisted.

“You’re so stupid, Cassidy,” he said, looking pained, “You’re so beautiful, and amazing, but you’re so stupid.”

I barked out a laugh, “Thanks.”

“I’m serious,” he groaned again, and shoved my legs apart, moving to crawl between them, ducking his head in the low space. My breathing accelerated as he pressed his body up against mine, not knowing what to make of the situation.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he said honestly, his eyes pleading with me, “I don’t care if you have no experience, because I want you. Get that in your fucking head and quit being so beautifully stubborn. And hell—I don’t care what pace you want to go at. If you want to kiss me, kiss me—I’m not complaining. You’re a virgin?” he questioned, and my eyes widened, the topic catching me completely off-guard.

I’d never felt very comfortable talking about sex. I didn’t understand how people could easily infuse it into a casual conversation. Sex was anything but casual. It was supposed to be done with someone you loved, someone whose name you knew, someone that wouldn’t simply throw any formalities out the window.

I realised Harry was still waiting for my answer. I nodded once, still staring at him, “Y-yes.”

Fuck, what kind of nineteen-year-old doesn’t have sex yet?

He smiled gently at me, “That’s amazing.”

No it’s not, Harry. It’s really not.

“You’re older,” I managed to get out, “And I don’t know what you expect, or—”

“I expect you to do only what you’re comfortable with,” he cut me off again, and I almost screamed at him. This wasn’t how he was supposed to be reacting; he was supposed to be getting mad at me and leaving me alone before I got too attached. That was how shit was supposed to work.

“Once again,” he chuckled, “You’re just looking for more reasons to walk away. You have a problem, don’t you?”

I gurgled out a laugh, “Maybe.”

He smiled at the ground before looking back up at me, and shifted so that he was lowering himself onto the floor of the tube, lying down. “Come here.”

“You do realised how many germs are on that?” I questioned, and he grinned and nodded, but held out his arms for me nonetheless.

Reluctantly, I lay down beside him, and he immediately propped himself up on his elbow to stare at me. His left hand came up to my face, fingertips tracing my hairline, my jawline, my nose, the curve of my lips, all the while I was trying to calm my racing heart.

“Stop trying to walk away,” he whispered, and I closed my eyes briefly before letting them flash open again, whispering the words brokenly.

“It’s the only thing I know how to do.”

I looked up at him, trying to analyze how he’d react to that. He was staring at me, an emotion that I couldn’t read present in his luminescent orbs.

I sighed, “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re my idiot,” his body rumbled with a laugh in the closed space, shaking the whole tube. Cautiously, he placed his hand on my hip, silently asking if it was okay. I nodded and barely managed to contain a shiver—the cool rings on his fingers were pressed against the bare strip of skin exposed above the waistband of my shorts.

“You okay?” he asked, and I smiled up at him, “I’m great. Thanks Styles.”

I grinned at him as he rolled his eyes dramatically. We stared at each other for a moment before I cleared my throat, realising that it was late and that this wasn’t what people were supposed to be doing on first dates—if you could even call it that.

It’s a fucking date, Cass.

Right.

“We should go,” I told him quietly. His smiled faltered slightly, and I almost felt bad for ruining this perfect moment, but I didn’t want to get too attached.

“Oh,” he said blankly, “Okay.”

I nodded, sliding out of the tube, cracking a small smile as he found difficulty in doing the same.

“I think I’m stuck,” he grunted, and I laughed out loud. After a few more attempts, he finally managed to pry himself out, and we both slid down the slide, making our way over to the abandoned picnic.

I sealed all of the Tupperware containers and nestled them back in the basket, and together we folded up the blanket. Once everything was packed up, I picked up the blanket while he grabbed the handle of the basket, and we both began walking back down the street to our houses.

“You look like Little Red Riding Hood,” I commented after a few moments of silence.

He chuckled, “Please. If anything, I’m the Big Bad Wolf.”

I laughed, and he grabbed my hand. Tingles raced along my skin, but I squeezed to let him know I was okay. The rest of the walk was in silence, but it wasn’t the kind of awkward silence. It was reassuring, and I hoped that things would be normal between us after this. I didn’t like showing him my vulnerable side.

We finally arrived to our houses. He was even a gentleman and walked me to my front door. I smiled at him and handed him the picnic blanket, which he took and set on the floor, along with the basket. He leaned down, kissing my cheek, “I’ll see you later.”

I smirked good-naturedly at him, “You will.”

With that, I bent down, retrieving the beautiful calla lily on my welcome mat, opened my door and walked inside, shooting him one last smile. I set my hand on the doorframe, leaning against it, “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight, Cassidy.”

With that, I closed the door, locking it, and immediately bolted upstairs to my room, so giddy. I ran through the door and collapsed on my bed, throwing the flower onto my nightstand, hugging a pillow to my chest and willing myself not to laugh like an idiotic schoolgirl.

And I felt asleep with the biggest fucking smile on my face.

Notes

Here is your long-awaited and well-deserved chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! Please continue to VOTE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE! Especially VOTE and COMMENT! I love it when you do, and it means the world! Let's reach 107+ votes? (Random-ass number, I know :p)

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