Flirting With Temptation

After we made it back to the hotel he walked me to my room and left me with a sweet goodnight kiss before I went in and he left for his room. I closed the door of my room and happy jumped like a thirteen year old girl for a couple of minutes before I checked the time. It was pretty late, the concert should be over so I pulled out my phone and called Gwen. She was in her room a couple doors down and when she heard my tone she quickly came over. We decided to make a slumber party out of it like we used to when we went on tours. We wrapped ourselves up in the comforter from the bed and laid there talking most of the night. We gushed about Niall where I finally told her everything. How much I liked him. How honestly amazing I thought he was and how much we had in common. It was then that she revealed that she'd actually been talking to Jack. She wasn't sure entirely how he felt about her yet, but she knew she was crazy about them. We talked until around 3 in the morning and then decided to go to bed. She stayed the night, just like she did when we were kids. A lot had changed.

The next morning I slept in for the first time in a long time. Liz had texted while I was out with Niall and said I wasn't one of the first to rehearse this morning so as long as I was there by 1, it'd be alright. I ended up getting up around 11 and was surprised to find Gwen was already awake. She was sipping at some coffee she'd made in the kitchenette in my suite. “Morning!” I smiled and stretched, shoving the blankets off of me. “Good morning, since when do you get up so early?” Her grin turned sheepish and she looked down into her coffee cup. “Since Jack wakes up early and he texts me.” I blinked at her, because in the entire lifetime I'd known her she'd never been so sappy or crazy over a guy. I let out a laugh as I stood up and shook my head. “Wow! You got it bad!”

She laughed and stood up. “I know! But so do you! And apparently so does he! You're all anyone can talk about right now. Hollywood's new 'It Couple'!” I rolled my eyes at her wording and ran a hand through my tangled mess of hair. “We just became a couple, or at least......we just started hanging out on a more romantic level! I guess this means we're going to have to be more careful, because I've already had like triple the paparazzi on my ass!” She giggled as she poured me a cup of coffee and handed it to me. I took it from her with a smile and took a long sip before setting it down on the counter. “Is it totally lame that I'm excited to see him today even though I see him every day?” I leaned against the counter, putting my weight on my arms which rested against the cool tile. She shrugged setting her mug beside mine. “Not really, I feel the same way about Jack. We're just crushing hardcore, nothing wrong with that!” I smiled and then glanced up at the clock. “I'm gonna take a shower, you sticking around?”

She seemed to think about this for a second as I backed towards the bathroom. Finally after I'd grabbed onto the bathroom door handle she shook her head. “Better not. I've still got to shower and get ready too. See you at rehearsals?” I nodded quickly as she grabbed her mug and walked towards the door. “I'll bring this back.....eventually.” She giggled as she left and I laughed shaking my head at her craziness before ducking into the bathroom. Even though I was in a hotel room by myself I closed and locked the door before starting the water. I waited until the bathroom was steamed up before peeling off my pajamas and stepping into the warm waterfall. I took my sweet time, letting the heat work out the kinks in my aching back and neck. Shampooing and conditioning my hair to perfection and then taking time to scrub my body with my moisturizing body wash which made the whole bathroom smell of sweet vanilla. When I was done I turned the water off and stepped out.

After wrapping a towel around my body tightly I used another towel to begin kneading at my hair to get some of the water out. I brushed through my hair easily and smiled as I looked at myself. For the first time in a really long time I was truly excited about everything and I felt extremely good. I applied a little bit of make-up but left it mostly natural and then walked out of the bathroom. I walked over to my suitcases and opened them up, trying to decide what to wear. I ended up deciding on a completely casual outfit. I glanced at the clock and realized that I had plenty of time. My phone went off on the nightstand and I made my way over. I picked it up and realized I had a missed call from Niall and then two text messages. I was about to open them when a knock on my door stole my attention from my phone. It wasn't nearly time for Gwen to be ready and I debated if it was Niall or not when I opened the door and scowled. “What are you doing here?”

Jesse stood in front of me looking nervous and as if he wasn't sure this was such a good idea. “I really need to talk to you. I think we have a lot to talk about.” Growling I began shutting the door but he lodged his foot in the door and stared at me. “Please, Chelsea? Just for a little while, and if you really want me to leave after we've talked a bit I will. And I won't bring it up again.” I took a deep breath and stared at his pleading eyes. After a minute of having an internal fight with myself I took a step back and opened my door for him. He gave me a thankful smile and stepped inside quickly, probably so I didn't have time to change my mind. He followed me into the living room area and we sat down, him on the couch, me on the chair across from him. We sat in an empty, awkward silence for the longest time until he finally broke it. “I wanted to start out by saying I'm sorry.” I looked up at him and he looked genuinely sincere, but I'd seen that face and heard those words so many times. “For?”

He began bouncing his leg, something he only did when he was nervous. “For everything I did to you. The lying, cheating, the distance I put between us. I don't know why I did it. And for the longest time I was so mad and bitter at the fact you left, but I get it now. I really do. And now that I understand that what I was doing was wrong I also realize you should have left a long time ago. I burned through every single second, third, and fourth chance you ever gave me and I never really understood how important they were. I treated you like dirt and I should never have done that. You deserved so much better than I was able to give you.......and that hurts but I'm accepting it.....” My heart was pounding in my chest as he said all of this. This wasn't like all the other fake apologies that he'd given me; this was so much more meaningful. He'd actually thought through what he was going to say, and he was saying everything I'd needed to hear a year ago.

I smiled slightly and looked down at my hands resting gently in my lap. He cleared his throat slightly and when I looked back up he was shaking his head in confusion. “What?” I bit on my lip, wondering if I should even tell him. But I decided that since he was being honest with me he only deserved the same. “I was just thinking that if I'd heard you say that a year ago, and you really meant it like you do right now, we'd still be together.......” I let the weight of my words hit him, and when they did his face seemed to change. The hope wasn't fully there anymore as he sat back on the sofa and stared at me. “So what does that mean for us now?” He stared at me, waiting for an answer that I couldn’t give him. At least, not the answer he wanted. “It means we're friends. Because that's all I can give you anymore. Jess......it's too late for us, there hasn't been an us in awhile. It was hard, and it hurt but I moved on.”

As I watched him digest all of this I could see him chewing on the inside of his cheek. It was obvious my words had hurt him, but I couldn't lie to him. If I did I'd be right back on the level that he'd been on two years ago. I desperately wanted to take his pain away the way I'd wished so many times he'd take away mine, but I could only do so much. “I'm alwaysgoing to love you Jesse, always. You were my first love. My firsteverything, but that's over now. That doesn't mean we can't still be in each other's lives. It just means we can't be in each other's lives that way.” He stared into my blue eyes and nodded slowly. “I guess you're right. It's just.......not what I was hoping for.” I gave a small smile and laughed a little bit. “Yeah, I figured that much. But I can't give you what you want. I'm happy where I'm at now. I'm happy with who I'm with.” The last part had come out more gloat-like than I intended to. And I watched as Jesse's entire face changed to one of slight anger. “Right. With that boy band kid. Whom you've known for all of a few damn days. You're already in love with him, huh?”

I could feel my temper began to flare up, but I tried desperately to remain calm. Jesse and I could salvage this, I just had to explain in a way he'd understand and definitely not lose my temper. “Jesse, don't call him that, he has a name. It's Niall, and I never said I was in love with him. I like him, and there's nothing wrong with moving on. We've been done for over a year now. I'd recommend you do the same but it doesn't look like you're ready to do that.” He scoffed at me and I realized I'd yet again said the wrong thing. “What is it about boy band boy that you like so much, Chelsea? I fail to see the attraction. He's a kid, he can't give you anything that you want like I can!” I had promised myself that I'd control my temper but the way he was talking about Niall only pissed me off further.

“He isn't a kid, Jesse! He's more of a damn man than you EVER were while I was with you. You were a scared little kid hiding behind lies who was so afraid of commitment but so utterly terrified to be alone that you couldn't figure out what it was that you wanted! You fucked up and you're angry, but I can't help you! I like everything about him! He's smart, and funny. He's a gentleman and he's kind! He laughs at my jokes and compliments me like I'm the prettiest thing he's ever seen. He makes me feel special and wanted! I like that he's nothing like you were! He's justdifferent!” Jesse stared up at me; I had stood up halfway through, too angry to remain seated. I shook my head and ran a hand through my damp hair. “I think you should leave, Jesse. You can call me when you're calm and want to try this again without bringing Niall into this because he has nothing to do with this.”

He stared at me before he stood up and stormed out. It had generally pissed me off. I looked over at the clock and realized we were going to be late. I grabbed my bag really quick and ran out of my room and down the hall to Gwen's. It was unlocked so I barged in and she was laying on her couch watching TMZ. When I came into view she turned off the tv quickly with wide eyes. “Um, hey! Ready?” I nodded glancing over at the blank tv curiously but ignored it. We left quickly and the entire way to the arena Gwen was either quiet or acting really weirdly. We made it just in time and I was feeling a little better as I pulled out my phone. I remembered the text messages so as I made my way through the hallways I read Niall's texts.

Hey! I need to talk to you today. It's really important.

I tried calling you. Are you mad at me? Just let me explain..”

Gwen had been reading my texts over my shoulder and I was utterly confused. Why would I be mad at him, and what exactly did he have to explain to me? I heard feet behind me and when I glanced behind me I was angered to see Jesse. “Can we finish our talk?” I rolled my eyes at him and kept walking at a much more brisk pace. Gwen had ducked away with Todd and they looked in serious conversation as we entered the main arena. “No, Jesse, I need to find Niall.” I heard Jesse make a scoffing noise from behind me as I looked around the room. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a girl with her arms around Niall as they kissed. Jesse had stopped right beside me and seemed almost smug. “Isn't that Barbara Palvin the model?” It felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces. I nodded, barely recognizing the girl until Jesse had said something. He gave a small chuckle from beside me as she pulled away from him and Niall's eyes turned horrified as he spotted me staring.

“He doesn't look all that different to me.”

Notes

Enjoy guys! It's a bit of a twist! Let me know what you think! -Caity