He carried me into the house. Niall said he would call later, to make sure everything was all right and then he left.

We were in his room, I was cuddled in his blankets, he was watching every movement I made.

"You didn't cut, did you?"

"No, I just like stopped eating, I let the voice get to me again, Harry, I don't want to be alone ever again. Please don't leave." I stuttered through my sobs. I fell into his lap crying into him because I knew he had to leave. It was his job he had to. Plus I had to get used to him being gone. "And as much I can't stand that you'll have to leave, you have to leave. It's your job, it's how you provide for yourself and it's your dream and I'm sorry for making your visit terrible." I said through tears.

"Lexi." He held me up to look in my eyes. His lip was between his teeth as thought carefully about what he needed to say to me."First of all please stop saying sorry?" He asked when I ducked my eyes away from him holding back the apology he knew was about to burst from my lips he began talking again. "Lexi, I love you so much nothing could ever change that. But Lex, you've go to tell me when things get to be too much. You have got tell me or Eleanor, you just have to. And you have to start eating and stop running so much. You have to be healthy for me, so I don't worry about you as much when I'm away." He took a deep breath. "Now tell me, what made you think it was all right to hold it all in?"

"You and Eleanor were gone, she's, I don't even know where she's been this whole time, but it made me feel like she didn't care and the more time I spent alone, the more I caught myself listening to what others were saying. I didn't mean to, it just happened." I confessed. "You being gone I didn't want you to worry, I just I thought that I could handle it all by myself again. It was a stupid mistake. I'm sorry Harry. I really really really am." And then silence as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"That's the thing about you." He began as he grabbed my hands to hold tight. "You learned not to care about what anyone else thinks besides God. You're a normal girl who lives her life for one being. You go on each day not caring what anyone says. People call you unconventionally beautiful, when I see nothing unconventional about it. You and the world may call your scars ugly , but you couldn't exist without them. Others may call you weird for believing in God, but you wouldn't be alive today without God. The world may call you fat, but you're not, you never were. And I love you for everything that you are because, well I hate to be cliche but a very wise man once said "it's you they add up to." It's all those things that make you the person you are today, a person I'm glad to have met and glad to say I love. People might criticize you and claim you changed me, and I'd say they're right, you have, but they're wrong when they say I never wanted any of it, because I do. I'm so thankful to be different, I've changed because of you, you've made me a better person. You have helped me learn how not to care about what the world says about me. You're my rock and I can't live without you." I stared at him, completely stunned he felt all these ways. But he sat smiling at me completely confident in every word.

"I'm s-" Shaking his head.

"No, I'm sorry for not being here and ready for you. For making you feel like you couldn't talk to me. I take full responsibility for this. And I will take full responsibility of helping you get where you need so God can help you again." His eyes contained pain that he was feeling for me.

"Thank you." He put his arms around me and lifted me onto his lap kissing my tears away. I felt his love pulse through me making me more happy then I'd felt in months. Thank you. I thought looking up at my God who was staring down at me from above.

A moment later he picked me up from his lap and stood. Then he slung me over his shoulder and headed towards his bathroom.

"What are you doing Harry?"

"I'm going to start a shower for you so you can get cleaned up before we go for dinner. I assume you've been using my bathroom all these months. I laughed at his silliness.

"You're not allowed to say your not hungry either, you have to eat I'm making you." He said while turning the water on and getting it to the perfectly warm temperature. He stared down at me making sure I wasn't going to protest.

He bent down a bit to plant an asureing kiss on my temple before walking away. As he did so my stomach let out a growl.

We laughed at it as we figured it was clearly in favor of some nutrients. This was good, back to joking and laughing with each other.

And hour later we were sat at a restaurant glasses of cool water in front of us.

"This place smells so good." I stated as we waited for our food.

"How did you do it?" He asked.

"Do what?" I was confused, what had I done?

"Not eat." His eyebrows crinkled together as his eyes looked down at his glass, avoiding my eye contact.

"At first it was easy, I just ate less at each meal I had, but when people kept calling me fat, I just sort of stopped eating lunch. Then when they still didn't stop I ran, I signed up for a gym and went everyday. When they still hadn't stopped with the harsh names I started going to another gym and running at the park." I took a long drink of my water. "Those shoes, with the holes, the one's that look ten years old, are brand new, I got them right after you left. The more I ran and went to the gym, the less time I had to eat, so I just sort of stopped. I ate an apple for breakfast and a slice of bread around dinner time." It sounded more weird when I said it aloud then when I was actually doing it. "That sounds weird."

"Yeah, it does, that's because as humans we're supposed to consume food and stuff." His face was serious, but his tone was light hearted. Trying not to put too much pressure on me. "Lexi?" His stared at mine, looking for something it seemed.

"What?"

"Please never stop eating again. Last night it felt like I was holding a rock." Then he explained to me that he hadn't meant it to sound mean or in a mean way, just that he didn't really like what I had become.

Our food came shortly after. He waited for me to begin eating before he began. He's just making sure you'll eat. I told myself.

"Are you going to have troubles eating again, like full meals?" The concern hadn't left his voice from before.

"I think I'll be fine. I'm starving and I feel ten million times better now that I've told you. But," I set my fork down. "I hate that it seems like I've only done it for attention, that I'm so insecure that I can't stand to be away from you. I hate that."

My hand fell into my lap.

"Lex, it will be all right, I know that you can in fact live without me, as much as it kills me," He joked by pretending to be in so much pain he needed to clench his fists. "I know that you're not doing this for attention. We were both very broken when we met each other, and it just turns out it's you who needs me now, instead of me needing you." I looked up to him giving him a weak smile.

"I love you."

"I love you too." And we ate our meal laughing a joking about silly things that happened while we were away from each other.

"Zayn came out it nothing but the bathroom rug and and his hair is this really awful red color, and his face, oh my gosh. It was quite literally the best facial expression I've ever seen. He was the most angry anyone of us has ever been and the best part was it wasn't even us that did it to him."

"Who was it then?"

"It was the crew!" He burst out laughing, as did I as I picture the whole thing in my head.

"That's great, I miss them. Do you think we could go to Niall's, let him know I'm all right and then let's have a movie night with all of them!" I think I've smiled more in the last two hours then I have in the last four months.

"That sounds nice, but I can't help but be a bit disappointed that I won't have you all to myself..."

"If you don't want to hang out with them it's fine by me."

"No, you miss them, we should go hang out with them." By this time, Harry and I were half way to the car.

"We'll I guess, why don't we spend the rest of the day-" I was interrupted by my phone ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket. "Hello?"

"Hey Lexi, are you all right?" It was Niall, he sounded tense and worried.

"Yeah, I'm so much better now. I just was just bit erh, like I don't know, but yeah. I'm good."

"I'm glad you seemed really upset, and Harry he looked so worried. But if you're really feeling fine, the boys are over and we miss you and we were wondering if you and Harry might want to come over and hang out?" I smiled to Harry.

"I guess I can have you all to myself tomorrow." He winked.

"Sure yeah, Harry and I will be over in about twenty minutes."

"All right see ya then!" And then I heard Louis, Zayn and Liam in the background asking if we were coming as he hung up. Harry and I climbed into his car and drove off to his house.

Notes

I told you it would get better soon. I know it seems this whole chapter went kind of quick, a lot happened, but I think it just shows how much Harry and Lex love each other. That even though she felt she couldn't talk to HArry while he was away, when he looks at her with that pain in her eyes she somehow knows she was wrong and she should have been telling him everything from the start.

All right thanks for reading, almost to 5000 views, this is sooooo exciting!!!!!!



xxxxxSara