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LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

chapter 97

Harry's pov


I woke up to my arms wrapped around a warm body smelling like lavender and Johnson's baby powder. I shift in sniffling in more of him even though right now my head hurts with all the drinking I did last night, it's crowded with all the promises I made to myself, its reminding me of things I vowed to never do or things I promised to do.



Louis turns around in his place pulling the covers up. When I look at him my head starts to revolve around all the things he had to go through because of me. The horrors I made him see. I mean nobody deserves this and specially not Louis anyway.


"Goo' morning haz" his hold loosens and he sits up.


"Good morning" I wish him back.


I want him to make it easier for me. I want him to forget me. I want him to forget the things he
felt or whatever he made me feel. I just want it to be easy. I want him to forget if he's ever felt the deepness in my eyes, if he's felt he tornadoes or if he's felt the storms. I want him to forget all the constellations if he's seen them in my eyes. Becasue I have seen them in his and if he doesn't forget this how am I supposed to make him stay away from me?


I promised myself not to let his bright blue eyes turn to grey. I had promised myself to not let the constellations fade away and not let the stars lose their twinke. But it's all gone. It's the saddest grey I've ever seen. And sometimes when those eyes stare back it's just smoke staring back at me. It's not the way he held a whole universe. It's not like that anymore and I know I play a major role in making him lose it.


Right now if I had to look into his eyes and tell you about the sorrows and sadness behind them, i'd tell you that it's all because of me. Because there is nothing else i can think of when I look at him. All I see is the tried weary look he's gotten by taking care of me through my shameless actions.


If I could turn back time and make it alright for him I would. I would die to do that. And maybe because I cannot do that anyhow I want to be away from him as far as I can be so that nothing that I do effects him in a bad way.


"Are you going to just lie there? It's 7:45 already, don't want to go to your office?" He scoffs in his rough morning tone.


"This headache. It's making me want to puke my guts out" I feel ill inside. I shouldn't have drank this much.


"See that is why I sometimes think it's better I don't drink anymore" he smiles turning his face to me. He gets up after patting my head and brushing my hair to walk out of the room. I should get up too now it's late anyway.


He returns back till I'm deciding what to do. "Here take this" he hands me the pills, "c'mon now get up and go wherever you have to"


Louis' POV
I get back from the classes early. It's only 1:45 PM and the things Harry said last night have been revolving around in my head since then. If only he knew what he said.


The things whatever they mean I don't want them to mean that. I can't think in that direction. I can't make myself believe what he said was true and correct. Anyways what he said was just bits and hints and I cannot let myself go in that way. I don't even know what the hell kind of shit they meant. I've been trying to not focus on that part of our drunk conversation.


There are people Harry gave hint about who know all that shit he went through. Thought I can't go to the doctors to ask them about Harry's thing. They're anyway bound with all there patient and doctor confidentiality. They won't budge about a thing. I know one person who could help me.


But I shouldn't be doing this really. I decided to stay and help him. This is not why he makes a difference. This is not what I ever wanted but I'm glad I'm here and I'm ready to give up everything if that permits me to stay with him happily. That's all I want. That's it. Just a comfortable peaceful kind of a relationship where all that matters is both of us and nothing else.


When i'm about to leave to meet the person and get answers to my curiosity, the doorbell rings. I don't even know who to expect right now. Harry, I'm not sure about but maybe he can be here early and then somehow I gather the courage, which I do not have, and ask him all the right questions and maybe if God wants I'd get all the right answers.


I open the door and , "Hello Louis" Niall greets happy as ever and ,"Hi again" says Laura.


"Hi" I say astounded by their presence. "Is everything alright? You guys, this time of the day?" I shut the door and walk towards where they've seated themselves.


"Nothing's wrong, okay?" Laura says and , "if you hadn't opened the door we actually had our pair of keys ready!" Niall continues jingling the keys.


"Oh.." What are they even here for?



"You must be having your swim trunks somewhere?"


"What?"


"Don't be surprised Louis.." Laura chuckles, "Come sit here" she points to the empty couch in
front of her.


"You probably don't know but Laura and I drop like this all the time. Hours before Harry gets back from work" Niall winks and continues laughing. What the hell?


I walk up to the couch and seat myself. ,"But today we didn't do that..." Laura speaks, "We actually called and asked for permission because now we're professionals.....engaged" she smiles her bright smile. How can someone be so serious of a mother and then be such childlike too?


"So tell me you have your own swim trunks?"


"Ugh No..I've never bought them. I don't swim" I say hesitant.



"That's great!" Niall exclaims. "Even better. Anyway Harry is going to be here any minute and then we're going to the beach."


"It's our engagement honeymoon post-party kind of sorts" Laura tells me flashing her ring.


"Ohh..okay.. I mean this time of the day? It's 3 something in the afternoon!" I ask both of them. Seriously?


Niall exclaims, "Don't worry! Everything's packed. It's a two hour ride and it's just us couples, us and you guys both" he shrugs and then smiles innocently. What the hell?


If we were the 'actual' couple, Harry and I, we wouldn't actually be as comfortable with each other as Niall and Laura are. I mean look at Laura right now and tell me she's a lawyer and already has a 11 year old daughter. And Niall what can you say about him, he's always his happy go lucky guy smiling and dropping jokes whenever and wherever he can. I've never seen them like this fidgety couple. They're always comfortable in each other's skin. It's so great, I mean, wow! That is something you want in a relationship. This is shit. We are shit. We can't take the privilege of being called a couple.


It's going to be bad. Whatever that happens on the beach today evening. It's going to be shit. We're going to fight. I'm going to fight. Because it's irritating and annoying looking at that face and getting the same vibe everytime that there is something he's hiding and for that something he's ready to stay away and break up even if you're willing to sacrifice your own stuff for it. How fucking scary, shitty or hurtful or disgusting could it be? How fucking sad could it actually be that he's scared it's going to change me? How can he judge me standing in that position?


The two hour journey to the beach was good. Not from Harry's side though. Niall drove and Laura and I were the ones singing along and actually enjoying rather than just sitting there quietly and watching the trees pass. What the fuck could be going around in his head that it made it difficult for him to enjoy this sweet little picnic Niall and Laura planned for us.



How many times in life do you meet such nice little funny friends who actually consider taking you with them for a honeymoon party? These are the little things this world craves for. Great love on little things. Who even plans picnics anymore? That too in this professional world where people can't stop harming and ruining each other for their selfish needs.


I crave for this kind of love that people show in things. Little things is what makes someone special to us. The love they offer us in their own sweet little way. It's lost somewhere and if somebody actually considers doing it for a complete stranger like me, I have to accept it. I would die million deaths before I ruin something like this.


Niall and I set up our little bonfire thing. We're actually alone on this beach and the more seconds pass the memories keep flushing in my head around things that happened on a similar beach. The running away, the crying and the wanting of freedom from things that still kind of hurt me but I'm a little far away from them. The moments that passed a few months back, the first night of my running away, keep flashing in front of me. It's disturbing.


Harry and Laura set up the little basket they got. And are spreading bedsheets for us to sit. It's actually getting darker with every minute that's passing and the breeze that's hitting my face is getting cooler. The waves are becoming more loud and rough. I shouldn't actually be here because you know I'm scared of this sea thing but anyways I'm here without my swim trunks ready to die.


"Okay then!" Niall exclaims, sitting just beside Laura, "We actually kind of bribed you with the party to ask you something" Niall continues innocently and Laura she's just trying not to get caught as she mouths something looking at Harry, "I'm sorry"


"What kind of something is this?!" I ask as I shiver when the cool breeze hits my face.


"More of a secret" Laura laughs lightly still nervous


"Can you guys be more specific?" Harry asks more bitterly, first line that he's spoken till now, Niall's face changing completely.


"Don't be angry! You're the privileged ones okay?" Laura making it more of a suspense now.


I sigh, they're making me curious, "What is it? C'mon!" I'm getting restless as I aim a pebble at Niall and it misses him as we laugh.


"We're engaged, that's not a secret anyway you guys know that.." Niall speaks as he holds Laura's hand and then suddenly I feel Harry's gaze on me and then I'm not sure if I should turn to look at him or not and shit. It's shitting in my head! "We're actually getting married..." they pause to look at each other and then back at us and then Laura continues what Niall began, "...twice" she shrieks and I can see the nervous excitement on their faces, "No one knows this. Not even Rosie or Nina, not anyone. Just you guys.."


"Wow..." I blurt but I'm speechless at such things.


"C'mon say something !" they're visibly curious sitting in their places, "Please or I'll explode!" Laura shouts.


"It's good.. It's great even!" I say.


"It's special" Harry says, "It's beautiful you know.." he speaks lower than the sound of waves crashing.


"Are you guys okay with it?" Laura asks nervously. "Please be serious..."


I tell her, "Yes of course. I'm so glad! "


"Harry?" Niall asks, "Is it fine?"


"It's good. It's more than okay and it's amazing" he says, "It's the best..it's your decision man..It's good, I'm so happy!"


Laura smiles surely, "Thank you guys. You don't know how much of planning and brainstorming has gone into this...oh my god!" she sighs and Niall pecks her gently. They're so sweet even when its their wedding they're asking us. "...and anyways by two we mean..one in his Irish style, the formal one where only relations are invited and the other one ..informal one the British style, where relations plus friends are invited."


"It's awesome!...you know what? It's the best thing you could have done for yourselves and as well as Nina. I mean how much of an excitement does this bring? I'm already so excited!..."



"Seriously man!" Niall sighs, " ..fuck it." he stands up impatiently, "..before the waves get anymore wild I'm going in.." he starts to take off his shirt and then Laura follows.


"C'mon take your clothes off guys!" Niall screams as he's unbuttoning his pants. Laura's laughing as she's taking off her top, "Don't wait up. C'mon!! you guys stand up okay?" she shouts almost, "and don't mind my nakedness, Harry" she chuckles making Harry chuckle in return.


"It's fine " he mouths smiling. That's the only natural thing he's done since the morning after accepting to come here.


They both run off in their underwear's. "Don't be the spoilsports please!!" they scream as they run into the waves. It's so fun looking at them. I wish I could do that too but maybe I'd faint before I even step into this.


Harry folds his legs up wrapping them around his arms, "Don't you want to try?" he asks me turning my side


"What? Diving in?" I ask surprised. I'm never in the world doing that.


"Yeah..." he nods.


"No!" I shriek. "God, no!" I not even stepping in the freaking cold water. Never.


I can hear Niall and Laura screaming and splashing around, "c'mon!! come fast!" Niall screams, "It's so fun!" His voice is almost inaudible.


"C'mon. You can try atleast you know.." he insists, "You could atleast walk?" he pleads.


"I'm not doing that you know. It's going to fucking freeze me. Never in the world Harry." I back off, "You can go in. I won't stop you.."


"They asked us both here. Please c'mon!" he sounds pleading again. I don't wanna fucking go.


"You know the hydrophobia shit...please don't force me" I excuse "..please, let it be. You can go"


"Please?" he asks again calmly, "It's not going to be scary. You can hold me all the way. Yeah?" he stands up immediately gesturing his hand towards me to hold. I don't wanna fucking do this. God! why?



"If anything touches my feet.. you're dead!" I stand up holding his hand, "...And if I freeze or anything, you're dead again, you clear about that?"


He nods and smiles taking off his shirt at the fastest rate, "Crystal" he takes off his jeans too. I follow him taking off mine as well.


"You ready?" he asks holding my palm and I hold it as tight as possible.


"No!" I whine, "fucking never" I shiver as the cool breeze hits me as we jog to the sea and Niall and Laura scream in excitement as they watch us step in slowly.


I step in and Harry pulls me in further, "stop!" I step back, "It's fucking minus10 degrees here. It's freezing! I'm going back!!" I scream.


"No!" he pulls me in further, "..it's not..c'mon Lou" he pulls me and I hop up to him and I lace my arm around his waist, my fingers tracing his scar just above the hem.


"Oh my god!" Laura says loudly, "you're scared?" and splashes the water on me. FUCK! It's freezing


The water is now above my waist and I think I'm dizzy. "Do not leave me Harry" I scream over the sound of the waves crashing and I hold his waist and I think my nails are digging in.


"I'm never going to okay? Just take bigger steps?" he looks down at me and in that moment I somehow saw the reflection of the the waves twinkling in his eyes and he could've not looked prettier. "You know how to swim?" We're both screaming on each other faces in the scariest of situations.


"The last time I tried I kind of drowned.." fuck this sea man. The water is now above my chest. Fuck! I think I'm suffocating and I'm breathing in less oxygen.


"You trust me right?"


"You don't have to be so sappy right now...it's a big deal I'm doing this.." I hold him tighter with every step.


Niall and Laura are just in front of us making out and I think its good that they are because then they won't have a look at my loser behaviour right now.


Harry's hand travels over mine and he makes me pull it away, "What? No! don't .."


"Just lie back.." he says and pulls my hand away completely and instead I snake it around his neck, "Lay back slowly.. free your limbs now, okay?"


One of his arms is at the small of my back and the other one is resting on my chest. I slowly do as he says. This is bad idea. I should run back to the beach but I still don't know why I decided to step in this fucking water. My head is dizzier than before and now I'm actually short of breath.


"Just look up.." he pulls my chin, "Take deep breaths?" he massages my chest splashing water all over my face. Fuck I'm wet head to toe and he's just till his chest. My head is aching and my vision is getting blurred. Fuck!


I stop whatever and pull myself back on my feet and as fast as I can, I run away. "What happened?" Harry screams as I run away. I don't have so much energy in me. This is too much.


"I think I'm nauseous..."I shout. FUCK! He follows me and I drop on the bed sheets near the bonfire. I'm fucking freezing. The only comforting thing is the warmness from the fire.


Harry sits beside me covering me with the blankets Niall got, "I'm never goin-g in ag-ain... f-ucking ever" I curse even when my teeth clatter.


"It's fine now..you're okay. You'll be warm in a minute"



FUCK. fuck fuck.. I'm never doing this again.



"What happened?" I hear Niall asking, panting, "Is he okay?" Laura asks


"He'll be okay.." Harry replies.


"What happened there? Something bit him or what?"


"No...nothing. He's just hydrophobic" fucking hell. He seriously had to tell them.


"Shit! You didn't have to do that Louis. Are you okay??!" Laura ask and all that comes out of my mouth is, "yeah.." I'm freaking out right now because shit she's right I shouldn't have done this. It's all woozy. If I open my eyes right now all I'm going to see is dizzy and blurred faces of people worried about me. I should just lie here.


"Louis wear your T-shirt. It'll make you warm.." His hand travels to the back of my neck. "C'mon get up" I don't want to sit up all its going to make me do is feel dizzy and nauseous.


He makes me sit up. He's stronger than me always. "You cannot always be the stronger one!" I groan as he makes me sit up and tell me to raise my arms up so that he can pull down the T-shirt. "And please tell them I'm sorry I ruined this"


"No it's fine. You haven't ruined this" Niall shouts from the other side where they're wiping themselves off the water and dressing up. Fuck! Am I so loud? "We're having the utmost fun and we hope you are too"


"I'm having the most fucked up time of my life and all I can think of is running away like my second step dad did when he knew he got my mum pregnant with twins and she wanted the babies" I shout. Seriously I am so freaked out and no one can make me feel different.



"Shh...calm down. And you're not running away" Harry shifts closer, "you actually did good, you know, no one would even step in and you at least had a first flap of your feet successfully" he wraps his body side ways. Fuck! This is good. His warm body fuck it feels good. He's so huge beside me, if he could he'd be able to hug me from both my sides.


"I'm stupid and dumb enough for that"


"You did it at least. No one would dare to"


We've been sitting here silently for a while now and somehow Niall and Laura have vanished. I remove my head from Harry's shoulder. "Where have they vanished?"


"They're somewhere in the trees a little far away" fuck! They're fucking. More of making love.


A few minutes must have passed after I dressed up and before I blankly state this, "Why can't we be as silent and comfortable as we are now?" It's more of an asking a question.



"You wanna be as comfortable as we are now?"


"Of course Harry. But when I state this all that comes to my head is that we're not. We're not comfortable just in this moment. Right now. Because now all that's roaming in my head the questions I have been asking for a while and haven't got any answers. Nothing" Harry's body tenses as I end my sentence.


"If you ever knew the answers Louis, you'd run away"


"What?!" He fucking surprises me when he says this. "How can you say this? Why are you..."


"Because other people did leave and I.. I can't lose you Louis" he looks at me when he says this completely true to his words. Like he's sorry for what's he doing and he knows that he shouldn't really do this.


"You're not going to lose me like that.." I scoff, "and how bad can it be Harry? How worse? Are you some psychopath? A robber? You're some Walter White kinda thing? A FBI spy? Illuminati member?..how bad? Some mental disorder or what? Harry how bad is it?" I'm so loud right now maybe I could stop Niall and Laura. Fuck it man I'm angry and I can't think of anything else.


"You don't know how bad it is.." He mutters looking towards the sea.


"Then tell me now. Tell me and let's see if it makes me leave.." My high pitch voice is so freaky sharp. The anger and the blood rush from the before has led me to shout at him even when I don't want to. But it's frustrating. Very frustrating looking at him every time and knowing that he's hiding something.


"If the thing could make you leave would you leave?" He turns his head to me.


"No... I mean.. I don't know. You're the one generalizing me right now on the basis of people who left. You don't have to judge me in this way. You don't know how much pain I've gone through and let's see if that's the same pain. I..I can't know if you don't tell me.."


"I wanna tell you but I can't Lou..please" he looks away again.


"Is this how you want this to go? You want us to be comfortable with each other? But then tell me...tell me that when everytime I look at you my head doesn't have to think that you're hiding something. And you..." Fuck I wanna scream so loud at his face right now my nerves burst. The amount of anger inside me is boiling with every word that exits my mouth, "...you're ready to break up with me over this secret. You are ready to send me away if it makes you keep your secret safe...Is that how comfortable relationships work Harry? You tell me.."


"Don't shout please..." He pleads, "you just kind of had a little panic attack and you're going to worsen your health."


"Do not pretend to care if you really don't okay..I don't need such..." I fucking had to make myself stop before I could blabber out something that would hurt both of us. I don't wanna do this. Fuck it man I didn't come here to ruin this but how do I help myself? Godammit.


"Ple-ase Louis.." He turns to look at me when his voice breaks. "Don't do th-is..." His voice is audibly trembling enough to know that he's gonna cry. He's going to do his fucking thing again. Cry on me the whole night so that when we wake up tomorrow all he has to do is tell me that he has a headache and I'll give him pills and then we continue like nothing happened. Like it's all damn fine around us and between us. Fucking hell.


"Don't.." I begin, "..don't cry on me and try to actually handle things seriously than they are!" If I could shout at him so much that his secrets come out even if I burst my lungs, I'd happily do it if it makes me take him out of his misery. "Stop crying like I am the one whose harmed you..stop crying you're a goddamn 21 year old..." No matter how much I want to shout and scream at him for the things he's hiding I'd still give my everything to just see him genuinely happy.


"Don't make this anymore difficult than it already is ..if I could do things I think of without thinking much I'd do it if it makes you happy but I can't because all I can think of right now is that if I ever had to tell you all the stuff that happened to me and what I am you'd be the same sad person I am and I want to protect you from the hate.."


"How can you judge me sitting in that position and think that you're protecting me? How can you even say that?! All you're doing is generalising me and judging me on the basis of those people who left you! Why do you think I am the same person? I don't think you're like everybody else .."


"I'm sorry I do that. I'm sorry.." He sobs loudly and this time it's like he's not hiding away. He doesn't want to it seems. He's just crying and he's not afraid to cry out just afraid to tell me things. "I'm sorry I've h-urt you so much. I never want to and have nev-er tried to intentionally do that and yet I know I've hurt you tremen-dously. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't tell you things because all they will do is hurt you even more and I'm wanna protect yo-u.." he turns away his face sniffling in. He curls his knees to his chest and faces me away.



"In what ways you're trying to protect me I do not know but how do I tell you things when you're hiding stuff on your own? I've been desperately wanting to tell you so much stuff but you never ask me and here I am going literally mad asking you questions and you do not want to answer them. I would literally answer over a hundred questions and tell you things I desperately want you to know. The things I've never told anyone, I want you to know them.."


"Please.." he turns to me wiping his face quickly and holds my hands, "please tell me things you want to. I'll listen to every word whatever time it takes, please.." he sniffles.



I pull away my hands, "This is not the way it goes Harry. Not this way. This wasn't about me ever and right now too this isn't..."


"Then let's make it about you...forget me. Forget I have things hiding. It'll hurt you less"


"It wouldn't even hurt if I didn't know you Harry but that doesn't solve anything... " I tell him this because why is he like this?


"Why do you anyway wanna know this? What's in it for you?" He gets defensive all of a sudden


"I'm not going to gain anything from this. This isn't entertainment for me. I just want to take you out of your misery. It's about you and I want you to move on with life. Move on in life with me. But you have to get over your past today or tomorrow, you can't just keep dwelling on it.. It's makes no sense waiting on the things that have already passed away.."


"Louis..why don't you understand it's hard to just.."


"Fuck it Harry! Fuck everything!! You don't get it" this is the last time. I'm fed up of this bullshit. "I stepped in the fucking sea for you..I fucking almost died in that hospital for you and you say it's hard? I did things I would never even do for anyone. I cooked dinner for you..don't you fucking get it.?." I start wearing my shoes and stumble standing up. "I'm fed up of your bullshit. You get drunk every now and then and all I do is take care of you and...fuck...it's been three months I've been trying.. Trying everything and day before yesterday you said.." Fuck me. My head is going to bomb off, "forget it..maybe that was a lie too"


I walk away. I can't look at his bewildered face anymore. "Wait... Louis!"


"What?!" I turn around my shoes digging in the sand, "what another lie do you wanna tell me
this time?"


"I'm not lying..I'm sorry. I'm sorry .."


"I'm not hungry for you sorries okay? I don't need them. And sorries don't mean shit if you're gonna repeat the same shit in the next second."


"You're right" he steps back. "You're right Lou.." He scoffs smirking a little. " I knew you wouldn't get it..."



"I am the one who doesn't get it?" Fuck you Harry "fuck you! Don't blame this on me. If anyone that gets this is me" I want to be aggressively violent and I can't be and that's more frustrating that Harry right now.


"No you're the one who doesn't get this. You're not willing to understand me and things I've gone through. You're making it like it wasn't a big deal. You're being selfish!" He shouts away from a distance. "..you're running away like you always have been doing. That's all you've learnt anyways!!" He shouts again and steps back.


"Fuck you! Fuck you Harry for everything" nothing else could have stung this bad. Harry out of all people in the world? How the fuck can he say that?! I can't take this anymore. All I do is try it control my self and all he's doing is hitting on my insecurities, "fuck you..I don't wanna do anything with you now Harry! You and your bullshit doesn't even let you think before you say something!" it doesn't even take me a second before warm tears roll down on my cheeks. "Hope your secrets stay with you happily till the day you die! Because you know I'm the one whose being selfish making this all about you but fucking forget it!! Fuck you!"


I turn away before anything else can make me stop. Fuck! I wanna leave so bad from here. I don't even know where I'll go but I just wanna fucking run. Run away from here. Just anywhere where people secrets do not mean to them more than their loved ones.
Fuck! If I could just stop the tears rolling down my cheeks.


I can hear him calling from a distance but I don't wanna turn around. I don't want to. I'm more than fed up and more than frustrated to stay with him anymore.


Suddenly he holds my hand and pulls me, "please don't leave like this, you're not well and where will you go?" He speaks in his hoarse voice.


"I already told you to stop pretending to care when you really don't Harry!" I jerk my hand away," and you're scared of people leaving, what have even done to make them stay? You make them leave and that's what is happening...!"


His face changes, a tear drop rolls down his cheek and he bursts out crying "I hate you now..I hate you!!" he cries. I fucking do the same man. I fucking do the same. I tell myself that and turn around wiping my face. At a point in time I remember I promised myself that I won't cry because there was Harry whose pain mattered more than mine but it was all waste. All to fucking waste. This is not the moment I really wanted to know this but it fucking hurts. Its hurts in the deepest parts of my heart and my soul because I fell in love with the person who cared about the littlest things about someone and now he doesn’t even care what he fucking says. Forget it.


I don't wanna see him ever again. I turn around faster than I ever would. I burst out crying too. This is not what I deserved after everything. I can't stop myself no matter how much I try and I run.


I run as I fast as I can because yes, it's true that's all I've ever learnt anyways.

Notes

hope you guys like the chapter!

please comment about my so "hateful" chapter!!

anyways please comment, vote and subscribe!

PS:really didn't wanna do that with my larry

all the love though!

Comments

Hi guys, if you are reading this fiction, please continue reading it on the new user id I have created. Which is "Boomelouu". The old one is "boomelou" The one I am using now. I shall be continuing the story there.

thankyou for all the love and support!

@LizzyM101
thanks for reading and staying!

@AlexxStylinosn28
Well, it has been the death of me!

JASLKDJGFLSKDJG these 119 chapters are gonna be the reason i fail schools,m fkjsdhabfkljsadhgf

@boomelou
I should be thanking you for writing such an interesting story. I love how its so unique and not like the other typical stories on this site. There much more depth to it. The chapters always keep me on my toes. PS I love love this chapter and Harry is trying to be brave and intimate with Louis.