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LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

chapter 57

Harry's pov

I've been lying on this bed for almost the whole day. I wanted to go see Louis but Gemma didn't let me. I tried getting up from the bed but it felt as if my whole lower body was numb. I couldn't feel it.


Maybe it was just because I had been sitting here for like more than 20 hours. The doctor told me that I would have to compromise with my dosage for the past days I hadn't had any of those. He said my body had been deprived of some hormones which he specifically gave me for some of my systems to work but when I didn't have them those systems couldn't work properly and that is why my stitch went weak when Nick punched me.

I'm half asleep inside the dark room where all the lights have been switched off. The only light was the lights from the various machines beside me.

Before making me go off to sleep I requested liam and niall to go back home because they had been here for almost the whole day and they couldn't just stay here all the time.

Zayn said he was free enough as he did not have any current exhibitions coming up or even auctions for that matter. Though when we were alone he told me explain the whole episode about how it all even began when I had finally started getting over things I should have gotten over years back.

I almost cried in front of him when I told him about the condition in which Louis was when I found him on the couch.

He did not believe at first how I'd just started liking Louis all of a sudden. He said that maybe I was fast in my decisions. But I told about how we both feel for each other and not was not a one sided decision.


Though he wasn't totally convinced on the fact that it had been just a month knowing louis, I don't know him properly nor do his family members so his concern at this point was pretty normal. He was worried about me too much and I understand that. He wouldn't ever show that. And that is why I didn't even ask him to leave for once I know he wouldn't say it but he'd want to stay here for the night with me. But he promised he'd leave in the morning. He compromised little bit of his sleep time with me and I was so happy he did. He never does that really.


When everybody was gone he wanted to sleep in the bed beside me coz he thought I might just run away to go see Louis but the doctor told him he couldn't he might hurt me. Not that he would do that intentionally. He's the guy who has the biggest heart in the world which swells up every time he sees somebody hurt. He too much fragile for a guy.


So basically in the evening Gemma and zayn decided to take a nap and Gemma stays in my ward and zayn went to Louis' .

I am still laying down my eyes heavy not being able to open. Then I hear the door slightly opening. I don't know who is it and I'm too tired to turn my body towards the door to find out who is at the door.


I hear footsteps inside the room. Not towards me towards the couch.


"Gemma?" The doctor calls. She might've been sitting awake.

"Yeah?"


"Has he woken up yet?" He's probably asking about me.


"No. I don't think so. He hasn't even changed his side" she's been awake the whole time? Is that true?

"Okay" he lowers his voice. "Can we talk outside in my clinic?" The doctor asks her.


"What if he just wakes up? He might just need something? We can talk here ?" She says.

"Okay then. Listen" he lowers his voice again.


"Right now I think whatever is going on with him is because of the constant nightmares he's seeing"

"No he's totally fine. He never saw any nightmares the past week. He's been sleeping well."


"Did he tell you that heimself?"


"No. But he's been behaving well till now"

"I thought so too. But all this, he not coming and visiting me and not having his pills and just irresponsibly doing things he isn't supposed to is just because of all that. He can't get his head together over all of it."




"Okay. Doctor. But what am I supposed to do?"her voice sounds worried.

"I think I'll have to prefer him to a senior psychiatrist" what? My heart beats are uncontrollable.

"Why? W-hy? To a psychiatrist? I don't think he's reached that level. I think he just needs more care. That's it. I'll do that for him" I can hear her. She's audibly panicking.


"I think that's best for him. To be honest he going through PTSD"


"Whats that?" She asks so low.


"Post traumatic stress disorder. He just can't stop thinking about all that happend 3 years ago. He just can't. He keeps thinking about things that happened. He thinks those were provoked by him. He thinks if he touches anybody he'll make them impure. And that's not true. We all know the story behind it. It wasn't him. He's taking a lot of stress lately. And for that matter about Louis. He cares a lot about him. He brought him here on Christmas too about the same thing that happened yesterday,but it was too mild. He wasn't well and he forced me not to take his tests at that time. He didn't want Louis to know all this. And I didn't" what is he saying? I never told him this. What the hell? Why does he have to tell this to my sister. What is he even talking about preferring me to a psychiatrist? I am not a patient of that sort. Please. I am not going to see some shit doctor. He's already enough for me.


I'll do anything but visit that psychiatrist of his. "Doctor but we can handle this without a psychiatrist. You know how he gets. He won't visit that doctor" my sister is right. I won't. She's right.


"We'll talk to him. You don't worry" the doctor says calmly. Why the hell does he think he can talk to me about all this? My sister already said what had to be so he must've not still agreed with himself and at least listens to want she had to say.

After a few minutes of silence i hear the door open and then shut.


I can hear my sister sniffing but not loud enough but I can still hear her. She's audible enough here in the silent room.


I don't want to get up and go comfort or even talk about the stuff the doctor just said. I don't think so this is the right time.


I slightly open my eyes to check the time on the machine in front of me and its 8:44 p.m right now.

Oh my god I've been sleeping for like 12 hours straight? That's a new record for me I guess. That's the longest I've slept in months. I finally take a turn on my other side and the door opens and shuts again somebody walking out of the room. That's Gemma of course. I feel so light suddenly. But this dress I'm in makes me feel so weird and naked. Yeah I'm in my boxers wearing just this apron kind of thing which is light blue in color with polka dots on it.


My thoughts wander around the times I've been in this kind of dress for months straight and not even caring for once.

I feel sick again. Thinking about such things always make me sad and gloomy and I certainly hate that. Jut like the doctor said about that PTSD thing I think that maybe right. Not the whole thing but am be partially.



Notes

Hey!! So my exams have not yet been finished and I'm only done with the two of them but i was a little free today so I updated a short chapter. Sorry about that.

Whenever I'm free I'll update next .

Hope you guys are supporting #PROJECTNOCONTROL.

SO PROUD OF LOUIS TOMLINSON.

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Comments

Hi guys, if you are reading this fiction, please continue reading it on the new user id I have created. Which is "Boomelouu". The old one is "boomelou" The one I am using now. I shall be continuing the story there.

thankyou for all the love and support!

@LizzyM101
thanks for reading and staying!

@AlexxStylinosn28
Well, it has been the death of me!

JASLKDJGFLSKDJG these 119 chapters are gonna be the reason i fail schools,m fkjsdhabfkljsadhgf

@boomelou
I should be thanking you for writing such an interesting story. I love how its so unique and not like the other typical stories on this site. There much more depth to it. The chapters always keep me on my toes. PS I love love this chapter and Harry is trying to be brave and intimate with Louis.