LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

louis' pov

His pupils dilate. What the fuck.



"I don't deserve you Louis" he mouths his lips trembling a little as those words come out.



"No please, oh god harry please don't say that" I tell him as his hand cups my cheek slightly brushing under my lower lip.



I step closer to him. My hand reaching his chest.

"I wanted to tell you something" he gulps.



"Yeah I remember" I nod.


"I'd prefer to walk while telling you" he sounds serious.



"Okay I'll walk on the beach you walk on the water side!'" I swap places with him.

"You wanted to know why I yelled at Simon that day?" He looks in the endless front.



"Yeah I did. I just didn't want to force it on you" I shrug.



"I know at the office evrybdy just needs gossip, just something to talk over a cup of tea. Just don't ever believe them, okay?"


I nod in return. Yeah ofcrse why would I believe them?



"Well that day after Christmas when I went for that PR work to bbc1 radio thing.."



"Yeah"



"And you know I am not even responsible for the whole promotional strategies and stuff and that fucking bastard Simon sent me for that hoax meeting" he is so angry he is actually gritting his teeth.



"I am just an assistant recorder at the Syco label, i don't know why Simon keeps doing such things to me. He keeps dragging me into things that do not even concern me. He's done such shit before too"
His voice is trembling yet he is soooo angry right now that he might even burst a nerve of his.


I slide my hand to his clenched fist releasing it and twining his fingers with mine.


He's cold.



"I know he's mean and you know when I first entered his office the way he looked at me whatever I felt was negative. Just negative. I mean he's a weird very weird guy"




"Weirder and cheaper than you can actually think. He only lives for money. Money is his life. He could even fucking kill his wife for that matter if somebody gave him a million dollar for that"
He's clenched my fist way too tightly and the pressure keeps on increasing as he speaks.



"That day that meeting was purposely fixed by him. I fucking hate
Simon and that crazy Nick. Fucking assholes that are.
He purposely did that to me. And I only respect for the fact that my dad has been a great sponsor for his business activities and a good friend of his otherwise I would've already sued him a long long time back."



"If you hate him so much why don't you just leave the job?? I mean that's just perfect way to get away from bastard"



"Contract. That fucking contract has bound me. For 5 years. And only 2 years passed. " he takes a deep brwath "Oh my god" he pauses and turns to look at me.



"Did you recently sign any papers given by him??" He has his hands on my shoulders.



"Yeah? I guess long time back not recently. It was I think the 3 rd day"



"Did you read the papers? He is tensed.



" nope. I was going to but Simon said he was in a hurry so I just signed it right away" I tell him what I did.



"Oh shit louis, He would have made you sign something bad I know" his hold on my shoulders is getting tighter.


"What would he want from me anyway?" I shrug.




"Yeah right!" He cools down a little."but you never know Louis he is so clever"



" ok i'll be carefull, i'll be aware, you continue”



“yeah, yeah” he brushes my knuckles lightly gulping down the lump in his throat,”and i dont even know why simon does this. I mean i do whatever i can do as an employee of his even when when im not doing my own field line work, i fix up his every client and i even right down songs for them and its like for those songs im not evn being paid” he releases a nervous laughter.



“thats bad, you should talk to him about that”



“no, i dont want that money of his. But anyway that guy Nick, he was my best mate since childhood. I mean we went to the same prep school till the university and within first semester he made me dropout” he deep breathes.




“what the hell??you're a college dropout?” man thats surprising. I never expect that.



“yeah for personal reasons ofcourse” personal? Whats so personal he doesnt want to tell me? Ok, i dont want t force it on him. If he wishes to tell me, he will. Otherwise i can stay out of it. I guesss.”and nick being 99% reason of it”


“why would he do that? Thats disgusting” that is not wat you call a best mate.



“i dont know. Maybe h-e he- was envy of me or something” he stutters.



“and you never wanted to know?”


“i did but i didnt want to seee that disgustted shitty face of his. I trusted him all my life and he did that, so i was pretty sure i ddint want to talk to him ever again.” he breathing heavy.



“oh, thats terrible totally” i cling onto his arm “well guess what?”i look at him.


“what?”


“i dropped out in my final semster” i chuckle at th end.


“whtat? Wait-- what??” he looks ddown at me his eys wide, “in ur final sem-ester?”


“yeah”


“and your laughing about that?” he soundss serious.



“i guess yes, it was meant to be” i shrug.



“what? What do you mean?”



“wel how else would i have ended up here?” i ask him the obvious.well bt hes to busy taking in the news.



“you are serious? Are u stupid?” he narrowing his eys at me. He still cant believe it.


“fucking serious”


“o my god louis!!” he takes deep breath, its cold his nose is red right now “ who drops out in a final semester louis?”



“well forget that, i was a runaway kid” i confess.



“what else have you hidden inside that little head?” his lips press in a thin line.


“nthing that was the last” i say nodding in agreement.

Notes

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