LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

HARRY’S P.O.V

My eyes fluttered open coz of the sunlight that was entering the room in the bright sunny morning. But today was something different and the scene was not quite familiar to the scenes when I usually woke up. As I tried to rub my eyes and get a hold of reality as to know exactly where I was I felt a tight hold on my waist and some weight on my chest. As I raise my head up to figure out what it was and exactly where I was, I see Louis on top of me snoring like a cat. As I looked around the room I realized I had been sleeping in the hall on the couch and the beer bottles where lying empty on the table.

Within a second the whole scene flashed into my head and what else could I be rather than being happy. If I really had to describe right now how much happy I am and I was at that moment I guess you’ll never know.

The couch was small to fit us both in but yet we still were squeezed into it and Louis was holding me tightly. This was the perfect scene anybody could’ve ever thought and I could’ve ever wished all my life. From the time I had laid my eyes on him I knew he would be the one. I practically tried every day to fall in love with him. The last few weeks were the best moments of my life that I had spent with Louis and I was so glad we met.

I don’t know if I was actually happy for us or was I really happy only for myself or really really excited and happy coz he was gay too. I did not know but the thing right now I knew was that I was just perfectly happy whatever maybe the real reason was. As long as it had Louis in it I was just happy and just perfectly happy.

I put my head back down on the arm rest and brushed my hand through louis’ hair which were almost in my way to reach Louis’ face. As my chest would rise everytime I would take a breath, louis’ face did too. My eyes would practically follow every dip my chest would make and my eye balls just stared him. Right now I really wanted those sea blue eyes to stare back at me like the last nite but I did not want him to wake up. Coz if he did I don’t know what I’ll end up doing. Maybe I just kiss him again. Maybe I just stand and run to my room or maybe suddenly Louis realizes it was a big mistake he made. Maybe he just slaps me hard.

I didn’t really know what will happen so I just wanted to live in this moment. So I slided my hands over Louis' waist and held him. He was so tiny in my arms but I think that was the cutest thing between us.
As my eyes just didn’t get tired of staring at the beauty in front of me I feel Louis shaking and he kind of fluttered his eyes, trying to open them as he pulled his hand out and rubbed his eyes.

I don’t know what realization struck him suddenly he rushes and gets up from me and this was the moment I realized he regretted kissing me. I immediately shut my eyes as if I did not know what was happening but rather I was scared what he’d do next. I really wanted to peep and see what was he doing standing there, so I open my eyes a little as I peeped and I see him scratching his head and yawning.

LOUIS’ P.O.V
Oh my god. Am I supposed to be laying on top of him? Shit. What have I done? As I look around here and there I see beer bottles lying. Was I really that much drunk? No man. It was just beer that too only one bottle.

The scene from last night was flashing in front of me as I stood there in front of dozed off harry. Yes he was asleep but what was I supposed to do right now. I wasn’t actually regretting our kiss, I loved it and it was perfect the way it happened but it was all awkward now. if by any chance he wakes up and sees me standing here and realizes that whtever happened, idk what I would say but what am I supposed to do now?? what now that I kissed him?

Though I was so confused but when my eyes glanced over his face I was caught up again. I was caught in the beauty. This has happened multiple times and I know this won’t ever stop and I don’t want it to so I am really glad this happened.

I walked nearer to him and bended forward to lay a kiss on the same lips I tasted the beer on. A little peck was just enough to wake him up and I feel him kissing me back but I immediately stood up straight and felt the same way I had thought I would and I could no longer stare him in the eye so I just ended up looking on the floor. the floor seem to fascinate me right now more than harry’s face. I scratched my forehead as I turned around to rush up to my room but I hear harry calling me.

“hey Louis whats the matter??” he sounded so worried.

I literally did not what actually was the matter. I turned around, “ermm, no umm nothing harry..er.uh yeah I just wanted to go pee” I say pointing toward my room. Did I really want to pee??

When harry heard me say this he chuckled as he got up and sat up straight yawning. I was just left wondering how could it possibly be not awkward for him??

I turned around to rush to my room and I actually felt like locking myself in the washroom and never come out. I ran to the washroom and locked the door. I really wanted to go back to harry and tell him that I’m sorry about the whole thing and it was not really planned to hurt him but I want to apologize coz its my fault anyway and i could never be his type so its actually fine if we did not date. I was right now getting panic attacks inside the washroom. I pee and then came to the sink to wash my face. I look into the mirror and realize how possibly could I think he could ever date ME? Who does not even have fine clothes to wear, a proper permanent address, who owned a car which looked like it had been bought from a scrap dealer, and etc etc. I did not even have a face that could possibly be atleast one reason to fall for. I was just a mess.

“do I really care?” my sass automatically turned on “anyway if somebody really wants to love me they would have to deal a lot before they could actually fall for me” I sassed to myself as I turned away from the mirror to walk out of the washroom. I twisted the door knob but something inside me weakened up again and I again thought of apologizing to harry as the feeling of regret started to kill me from inside.



“Seriously man what am I supposed to do??” I was so so so confused right now. to calm myself down I turned the tap on and washed my face and brushed my teeth to get ready clean. Though I was not ready to come out of the washroom, I gathered courage to twist the door knob again and step out as i sigh and went and sat on my bed.

HARRY’S P.O.V
I was in the kitchen putting the dishes in the dishwasher and cleaning up the hall as I put the beer bottles in the dustbin. I don’t know but I was quite happy today. This feeling inside me wasn’t something that I couldn’t define though it left me in some other world everytime I thought about it and I felt extremely lost.

When I was done cleaning the mess of the drawing room as I headed to my room to take a shower before Louis turns up to see me look like a waiter. I went in and then I see Louis already in my room. I couldn’t have thought of it but anyway he was here, though his facial expression told me he was a bit worried about something.

“hey Louis! What made you come here?” I announce, though was this I should’ve really asked him.

“um harry” he starts to say as he looked down and then back at me as I stood near my cupboard to open it. “I wanted to talk to you about something” he adds.

“go on” I command.

“harr y, could you please sit here for a second?” he patts on the space near him on the bed and I follow to go and seat myself here.


“yeah whats the problem lou? You look so worried.”

“see, I know this might hurt but we cant go further with what happened...las..last night” he stutters as he completes the sentence but he did not look up at me.

“why Louis. I think its totally fi..fine between you and me..?” I got tensed up as the fear which was building inside me this morning about he regretting his decision of kissing me entered my head again and my insides started to melt.

He paused for a little while before he continued and turned towards me, “look harry, its not that I don’t want to be in this relationship. You’re so lovely to be with and i dont and i couldnt hurt you andits not right for you to have me. I totally do not deserve you and you still might find better people than me.---“he was blabbering shit.

“its not about other people Louis and how can I not deserve ‘you’?. You need to understand its only about you—“ I say but he stops me.

“as for me haz I don’t think I’m just ready to be in a relationship. its too soon and there are lots of things I need to gather up before I completely rest my case and surrender myself in somebody’s arms”

His definition of love was quite interesting but I did not want to comment on it and I continued, “okay. If you think you're not ready then it is just fine but just remember if I had anybody to lay my heart upon, it would be you” the thing I said was true and it can never be denied. I was truly in love with this handsome guy.

He nods as he gets up and walks out of the room. I sigh and get up and open my cupboard to take out clothes to wear and then I went for a shower.

On the breakfast table Louis had prepared cereals for us and we sat there eating them silently. When we were done I pick up mine and louis’ bowl to put them in the sink.

“Louis!” I call out from the kitchen

“yeah harry?” he calls back.

“zayn called me and he said he’ll be coming here” I inform him.

“okay. What am I supposed to do then?” he asks me.

“I guess just wait.”

“I already am”
After this I couldn’t stop my urge to laugh though I really did not understand what that was and how weird are conversations had changed into after that one incident.

Next I headed to my music room coz I still had to complete some of the songs Ed had told me to look into. I was happy right now so i guess the lyrics wont turn out to be suicidal like the last song that turned up so bad.

I opened the door and entered. The room still had a slight smell of the new paint on the walls and I noticed that i still hadn’t removed the sheets from the instruments. I walk over to the piano first and pull the white sheet and put it away thought the dust made me cough a little coz I had asthma.

That wasn’t something real hard to deal for me coz I had undergone real hard things before that.

“you need some help?” I heard Louis say from behind and I turned immediately.

“sure” I say I dust that sheet away and folded it neatly before gesturing Louis to help me with the sheets on the recording instrument. “just pull them away sweetly please coz if a single wire loosens or breaks it would cost me a lot” I added as I slowly pull it away.

“why do you hve to keep such stuff which needs so much maintenance?” he irritatingly says “not that I disagree with liking this stuff” he shrugs as he helps me with it carefully.

“my interests lies into it and you know its like having a private recording thingy with you..its just a very very—“I couldn’t find the exact word for it.

“luxurious?” he completes but that wasn’t the word I was searching for.

“you can say that for somebody being a richy rich” the sheets were now away from the mic and Louis dusted them which made me sneeze thrice continuously.

“are you allergic to umm this—dust??”he asks me concerned for a while though he chuckled at me.
I nod coz I was still pinching and squeezing my nose coz this time definitely I’m going to sneeze for a much longer time. “I ha—(aahh chhoo) I ha-have as—(ahh choo) asthma” I could finally complete though I still had the tingling feeling insides my nose.

“really harry..i guess you’re at the danger level..you know if you talk about the amount of sneezing” he says concerned though he sounded a bit funny to me coz I just found that out after the whole coma thingy and the doctor too said that there was nothing to worry.

I thought and as I tried to take support of his shoulder keeping my hand on his coz I could trip in the next sneeze , “no no..nothing to worry.(aahh chooo)..the doc says it’s the medival stage…so its totally fine”
the moment I had kept my hand on his shoulder he went like ,”don’t touch me” being so mean all at once.

“what? I aint doing wrong. I need support” I say coz the tingling feeling seemed to just increase giving me sneeze shots.

he brushes away my hand as he scoots away from me, “the wall is much better” he adds.

“fyn..anyway I wasn’t molesting”
He walks away to the guitars to remove the sheets “I never said that…” he turns around to continue, “btw I know how to deal with asthma people”

“how come? Some doc? Are you?”

“my grand dad had that”
He pulls away the sheets as the guitars all come to view. It felt so nice inside to see those lovely things finally.

(Ahh choo) I sneezed again coz of the dirt from the sheets.
He looked at me with such an arrogant expression, “stop that haz..”

“what? “I yell.

“sneezing” he turns around and grins angrily at me.
That wasn’t really me sneezing intentionally, “I can’t help that kid”
I guess that kid got hurt by the word, “do I look like a kid, I’m much elder than you atleast” he tells me raising his eyebrow.

This was getting tenser but I thot of teasing him a bit more. So I start sneezing, this time just to tease him.
*ahhhchhoo* *ahhh chooo* and simultaneously I made those weird noises which my nose made.

“shut up” he yells so irritated.
*ahhh chhoooo* *ahhhchhhooo* “sor..*ahhhhchooo* rry.sorry Looo-uis” I speak in between my sneezes.

I could see his facial expressions change from a little annoyed to completely irritated look. I am not type of a guy who actually enjoys doing such stuff but I liked it right now.

He did not say anything but just stood there folding the sheets and dusting the other. Though in between I really sneezed for real but most of the time it was fake.

He gave me such a weird look of anger and shouts “seriously?? So ” he then rushes out of the room banging the room door shut.

Notes

just a filler. dont be annoyed. there's still a lot.
please guys, vote!!!