Dreams vs. Reality

Amber’s POV

With a deep breath I ring the doorbell, this is a bad idea… Heavy footsteps race to the door, making me hope that they aren’t Harry’s just yet. The rain pours down on my head, getting heavier by the minute. Maybe it wasn’t the best time to come. I should just go back. As I was about to make my descent down the steps, the door swings open and reveals a pissed off Louis. Okay, kinda wished it was Niall or something. He crosses his arms, obviously not pleased.

“Well look who decided to come after all.” He says with a low voice. I press my lips into a fine line, looking down at my feet. Here we go.

“Hey Louis. I got your messages.” I say quietly, not wanting to meet his hard gaze.

“Damn right you did. Why the h--” He was cut short when the happy brunette came bouncing outside, taking me in an embrace.

“Oh my goodness you came! I knew you would!” She squeals, making me smile a bit to know that she isn’t mad, or at least I don’t think she is. From the corner of my eye I see Zayn and Niall joining us at the door.

“Oh my, you are wet! Come in, come in. I’ll go get you a towel.” She rushes her words as she tugs me inside from the cold weather. Once El had set me free Niall came and took her place, where Zayn only gave me a nod and a small smile.

“I knew you would come! You are still here, that makes me so glad!” Niall chirps. He eventually lets me go and immediately I am face to face with Louis’ hard glare which wipes the smile off of my face. The group parts back slightly, giving us room.

“What the hell were you thinking?” He whispers harshly. I keep my gaze to the floor, not wanting to see him mad at me. “Leaving on such short notice like that? Not even giving the chance for him to explain, and apologize. This isn’t how you-” He stops abruptly.

At this point I felt like I should just run back to the plane and pretend none of this happened. Meeting them, letting them into my life. This was a mistake. My eyes begin to blur at the thought. I notice Louis’ bare feet padding away from me. A different pair of feet comes to stand in front of me, forcing me to wipe my eyes of any stray tears and look up.

Harry.

He looks at me with an unreadable expression, his green eyes staring right at me. “Hey.” He finally says, breaking the silence.

“Hi…” I manage to mutter through the lump in my throat forming. He continues to stare at me, making me feel smaller than I already am. Is there something on my face? Why must I be stared down at so much? I know I’m much shorter than all of them, but the intense stares don’t help me.

Thankfully, El returns to me with a fluffy towel, but at this point the droplets of water had soaked into my pale white skin. But the warmth was comforting. She helps drape it onto my shoulders before guiding me to the living room, where Liam had stayed. He had set some crackers and a drink on the table, like the gentleman he is.

“I had a feeling it was you at the door.” He greets me with a smile. “I got some snacks if you are hungry.” I walk over to him and take him in an embrace.

“Thanks Liam,” I at least thank him, “but I’m not hungry. You can have it.”

“Can I have it then?” Niall suddenly says from behind me. I turn to see him in an eager face, with Zayn face-palming himself, Louis walking to the couch opposite of me, and Harry glaring at me. I nod at Niall, and watch in amusement as he devours the food Liam had set for me.

“That’s alright.” He shrugs. “Why don’t you sit?” He gestures to the couch behind us and I nod, taking a seat next to him.

“Actually, Liam.” I feel a hand grasping my own, tugging me back up. “Is it alright if I just borrow her? We need to talk.” Harry asks him in a rushed polite tone.

I look down to Liam as he nods at us, giving me no time to argue as Harry tugs me into the hallways, leading us to a bedroom, which was fairly neat. The curtains were drawn slightly, the sunlight somewhat peeking through as it sets over the horizon. The bed was neatly made. Is he really going to go for something like what I think is happening? Who does he think I am?

“I’m not doing what you think. I promise. You broke us up, remember?” He says, closing the door after checking that no one else had followed us. Did I say that out loud? “Yeah, you did.” He continues, slightly smirking at me. I roll my eyes and sit on the edge of the plush bed.

A loud sigh escapes him as he joins me on the bed, his thigh pressed against mine. This is a bit too close. I scoot down some, giving me some space to myself and he follows. I move down some more and he follows again.

“I can do this all day, as you know there isn’t much room on the edge of the bed left.” He points out. I look to my right to see that if I scoot a couple more times I’m going to fall flat on my bum. So I take off my shoes and head to the headboard of the bed, noting that Harry is watching me.

“What is it?” I finally ask, taking one of the pillows and hugging it tightly.

“I wish that was me, instead of the pillow.” He says in a hushed tone, crawling onto the bed. I press my back into the headboard further, and something snaps in him as he finally stays his distance, sitting criss cross on the foot of the bed.

“I just want my space, that’s all.” I shrug, leaning away from the headboard. He nods silently. “So what is it that you want to talk about?” I start questioning as he stayed silent. He looks at me as if I was idiotic.

“What do you think?” I shrug. If it’s about yesterday then all that was needed to be said and done was done. There isn’t much else to do or say. “Amber, about yesterday…” He starts.

“There isn’t much else to be said, Harry. I get it. If you want to be with Jess, that’s fine with me. I’m just in the way, you’re better off somewhere else, just not me. I’m boring... I get it.” I shrug, hoping that this discussion can end and the closure was done for, letting me go back to my normal boring life.

“No, Amber. You don’t get it.” He runs his hand through his curly hair, sighing. “You are what I need. I don’t need or want what was in the past, okay?”

“Harry--” I whisper, but he cuts me off.

“If you are going to argue against me I’m going to stop you right there.” He mutters under his breath. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, tightly closing his eyes. Should I just confront the truth? I really should, but I don’t know if he would agree to that… Just try. If things don’t work you know where the front door is. Your escape.

“I’m just going to be honest, okay?” I try. He looks at me and slowly nods. “Okay. Let me know if I push it.”

“Alright.”

“Well, I haven’t been in a relationship before, so I don’t know what to think of things. I have seen a good amount of those romance movies, but I know those aren’t going to be one-hundred percent real. I know that not only with love there is pain, and I’ve just been experiencing more pain than love in my life, and it’s hard. Which is probably why guys don’t really see me as a happy-go-lucky kind of person, but the more shy, quiet, un-lovable kind of girl.” I confess, feeling slightly better that it is off of my chest. He shakes his head at me.

“They don’t know what they are missing out on.” He suddenly says in a serious tone. I shake my head to disagree.

“In middle school some people have heard what my life has been like, and just, laugh at me. I’m not the kind of girl guys would or should fall for, as I’m not usually what I appear to be what I actually am.” He looks at me intently as I spoke, nodding in understanding once in a while.

“How was your life, before, that made the others laugh at you?” He questions me, face full of curiosity as it tilts to the side.

“Uhm, well…” How do I explain this…. “It wasn’t all peachy-keen as you would think. Like what I have told you before, you and Mr. Sanchez weren’t the only guys in my life that, you know, hurt me…” I awkwardly bring up the moments of yesterday afternoon. I watch him for a couple seconds, waiting to see some kind of reaction. His face goes hard, as his jaw is tightened shut, his eyes slowly wandering away from me.

“You know how I usually, like, pass out?” He nods. “Well, I do because I get visions, of my past…” I wait for that to settle in his head. Once it does, he looks right back at me, giving me his attention once more. “I don’t know why for sure yet, but every time that I had done something wrong, such as spilling a drink, scaring my mother, my father comes and, hurts me.” I tell him about the visions I had recently, and he nods in understanding.

“You know I really am sorry… About yesterday. I never wanted to do that. Ever.” He mumbles after changing his posture to laying down on his side, propping his head up on his arm, using his free hand to play with my toes covered by my socks. There was silence between us, as I think we both know what I am going to ask next.

“Then why did you?” I say, kind of glad that the subject has changed but not to a better one. I pick at the string coming out of the pillow, waiting for his response. When there was no answer, I looked up at him, seeing him in the same position, but in a way that the media or I have ever seen him. Tears, were beginning to stain his flushed cheeks.

“Harry…” I say in awe, setting the pillow down to my side to join his. He quickly wipes his tears away before sitting up, shaking his head.

“I’m fine.” He mutters, with a couple sniffles in between. I ignore him and sit on his lap, hugging him around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. At first he didn’t respond, but soon I felt his arms snake around me, bringing me tightly to him. A hand held the bottom of my back, and the other was holding onto my scalp. He left his head in the crook of my neck, and began to cry.

“Did I push it?” I question him after a couple seconds. I let my hand go loose in his hair, hoping it would soothe him to stop. I feel his head shake no, but I feel like I did.

“I just let my emotion get in the way. I promised my self not to."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I.. I promised to never hurt a woman in my life.” He mumbles against me. I stay silent, letting him continue. “My father, when I was younger, would always hurt my mum. I would come home from school to see it myself. I remembering asking her why he would do that, and she just told me to promise that I wouldn’t ever put my hands on a woman unless it was sweet and caring, no pain. No tears. I’ve kept the promise, until yesterday, obviously.” He confesses.

I sighed at the pain that I felt yesterday, tears stinging my own eyes at the memory. His hands come off of me as he quickly moves me back slightly, examining my face.

“Does it still hurt?” He asks, bringing his thumb across my bottom lip that was covered in lipstick that matched the natural color. He notices that it was lipstick and starts to wipe the rest of it off. I pull away from his touch quickly, startling him.

“It does hurt, doesn’t it.” His eyes were red and puffy at this point, as he tries to remove me from his lap.

“No, Harry.” I stop his actions by putting my hands on his upper arms. “I just don’t want the lipstick to come off. It doesn’t hurt as much as before.” I tell him softly, getting off myself as I begin to think that we shouldn’t be in that position.

“Promise?” He asks hoarsely. I nod with a small smile.

“Promise.” He stares at me for a moment before continuing to remove the rest of the lipstick with his thumb.

“Hawy, what ware you woing?” I try to speak as he removes the rest of it, not saying a single word. He gets off the bed and runs into the attached bathroom that I had just noticed was there. He soon returns with a wet napkin, sitting in front of me.

“Close your eyes.” I scrunch my face but proceed to do so anyway. I feel him removing the eyeliner, eye shadow, and the small amount of mascara on my eyes. When I feel like he is done, I open my eyes to see a small smile adorning his face. At least he had stopped crying.

“There, you are beautiful again. I felt like something was off.” He says quietly, before getting up and throwing the colorful wet napkin away in the trash bin. My heart starts to skip a few beats as he returns to me, sitting in the same spot.

“Thank you.” I thank him just as quietly. He nods, taking a deep breath.

“Amber, I know things haven’t been right lately, I really am sorry. There is nothing I could do to show you how sorry I am, but I truly am sorry. I’ve never told anyone else other than the boys out there about what I promised my mum, and I want to make it up to you by treating you how you should have been treated in the first place. Like a princess. I know that you think all fairy tales don’t come true, but Amber, I’m willing to show you that they can. Will you still be willing to go out with a guy who would do anything to be the girl of his dreams?” He asks me, holding my hands tightly. My jaw falls agape at his words, not finding any to say at the moment.

“Harry…” I start, trying to get something out.

“If you still need your space, that’s fine with me. I understand. But when you feel like you are done, I’ll be right here waiting for you. Okay?” His eyes flicker between mine, trying to get something out of me.

“Harry, I’m just not good enough for someone like you.”

“Stop saying you aren’t good enough!" He says in disbelief. "Amber, believe me when I say you are more than enough. One of the reasons why I love you, alright? I don’t care if it seems so soon to be saying that, I fell hard for you, and don’t plan on letting you go. I don’t mind if you don’t say it back, what matters to me is that you stay with me.” I can’t take this emotion right now. Why does he have to be so sweet?

“Alright…” I smile slightly.

"Was that a yes?" I nodded slowly. Before I could process anything, I was being tackled backwards, immediately getting sponged with kisses all over my face.

“Harry, that tickles, stop it.” I start to giggle as he doesn’t stop.

“I love you too much to stop.” He says in between kisses.

“Then try, because it really does tickle a lot.” I continue to squirm and squeal underneath him, as he pins me into place.

“Hmm. No. This is fine for me.” I feel his kisses turn into a smiling one as he doesn’t stop, making me think.

“But I do have one condition.” I start, making him slowly stop.

“Alright, what is it?” He asks, balancing his weight on his elbows.

“That you take me out for a makeup anniversary dinner, on our 2nd month. To make up for this month’s, as it didn’t go as well as it should have.” He ponders for a moment, biting his bottom lip as he thinks.

“How about I just take you out tomorrow night after rehearsals, and you could come with me. We do have to let our management about you. Last time I got in trouble for not telling them about you.” He bargains.

“Alright. That’s understandable. And, to where?” I ask, thinking about what I should wear. He smiles down at me brightly, before planting a kiss on my nose.

“We’re going to eat at my mum’s house.”

Notes

Aww, they made up :) and now going to the parent's home... ooo.

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