“What?” He says breathlessly.

“Look, Harry, I just don’t know if I can do this anymore…” I say sadly. This is harder than I thought it would be. He just looks at me in astonishment. I don’t blame him. “I think we are just better off to be friends.. You have a career and an image to hold, and I can’t be much of a part of that. I just need to focus on school work and stay away from this for a bit.. I’m already falling behind and it’s my senior year.” I explain.

“Amber, please tell me you are kidding.” He says, walking over to me and taking both of my hands in his. I can’t tell if he is getting mad or very upset. Maybe both?

“I’m not.” I shrug.

“I know you are kidding. I can tell when you are lying. Quit lying. This isn’t the time to do it. Trust me.” He starts to seethe. Yeah. He’s getting mad.

“Harry, I’m not lying. I really think its for the best, especially for you. I don’t belong in something like this. Its too much. I didn’t think it was going to be this hard to do. Especially with having Jessica around on short notice... You can still have her. I won't be a bother to you anymore.” I mumble at the end, making him sigh.

“Nothing happened between her and I. You can’t be backing out on me like this. I know that this may have looked bad, I can get that, but I promise that from this point on that it will be easier. Just-”

“Trust you?” I finish his sentence. He nods. With my lack of response, his face drops.

“You don’t trust me, don’t you?” He lets go of my hands, taking steps backwards.

“It’s not that, its just hard for me to, it takes me time. And, you know… After what happened with you and Jessica, kissing, its just making it harder for me, but I will get there eventually. I just need a break.”

“Are we still on this? That’s what its about, isn’t it?” He smudges his hands on his face. “Amber, I don’t know what else to say. How else can I make it up to you? I am lost for words and I really don’t know what to do anymore to show you that I’m sorry...”

“Just give me a little time. That’s all I ask.”

“So basically let you run away from me? No. Everything was so much better for me when you became a part of my life. Honestly.” He states.

“‘Better'?” I repeat, my eyes now widening. “So, with yesterday, you just tend to put yourself in a situation that is threatening to you and your career, because of me being in it?”

“I didn’t plan that. It just happened.”

“Harry, I’m not ready for that kind of situation. Never did I think that could even happen! I mean, what would happen if Andrew-”

“Don’t say his name.” He cuts me off. I hold up my hands in surrender.

“What would happen if he actually shot you?” I continue. He shrugs.

"But he didn’t."

"But you could have gotten hurt." I counter.

"But I don't care, as long as you are okay."

"But you might have gotten killed Harry, come on!" I say loudly. He doesn’t speak for a moment.

"But I’m already dying inside." He suddenly says quietly.

“What?” I ask, confused. “Did he actually shoot you?! Harry are you-” I shout.

“No, he didn’t.” He cuts me off by covering my mouth with his hand, letting himself continue. “Amber, when you walked out like that in the bar, you don’t understand what emotion I went through, I was just frozen and hurt. I’m sorry if I scared you or hurt you, I just didn’t want you taken away from me. Just don’t leave me. Please.” He pleads softly. I shake my head, removing his hand from mine.

“That is my point, Harry. If I wasn’t involved with this, you wouldn’t have to worry about that. I’m only creating problems for you.”

“You are the answer to my problems, Amber. You are all that I need. I-” He starts but cuts himself off. There was an awkward moment of silence, both of us knowing what he was going to say. Or at least I thought.

“I know. I heard you.” I say quietly. He looks at me confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I heard you say it to, him, before I barged in. How you… You…” I trailed off, picking at my nails.

“When I said that I love you? You heard that?” He asks, getting closer to me. I nod in silence. “Well, are you okay with that? Is that what is bugging you?”

“Sort of.” I shrug. “Like I said, I’m just not ready for any of this.”

“I thought you were?” He questions.

“I thought I was, but I was wrong. I can’t...”

“Amber…” He frowns, sitting next to me.

“I didn’t think it would be this hard, I do like you a lot, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that after everything that has happened, I just think we need a break. I’m not what’s best for you, at least right now. I just can’t live with myself if something happened to you because of me.” I say, much quieter this time. I don’t feel comfortable right now. This sucks.

“Amber, no. Why would would you think that? You are what’s best for me. You are all I need. Don’t think like that. Things like this happen, and we are going to get through them together, you and I.” He says softly, taking me in an embrace for the first time in days.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’ve already got my plane ticket to go back-”

“What?!” He suddenly yells, letting go of me. Maybe that wasn’t the best time to mention that. “Amber, you didn’t even try to talk with me about this? Can’t we fucking compromise?” He waves his arms around in the air as he spoke.

“I’m sorry Har-”

“No. That’s just bullshit.” He mutters, cutting me off. He covers his face with his hands, sitting down on my bed. “That’s just absolute B.S., Amber. Does anyone else know?” He mumbles through his hands. I shake my head, looking down.

“No.”

“When are you leaving?”

“My flight takes off at 6 pm tomorrow.”

“For fuck’s sake..” He grips his hair, looking away from me. He was now beyond pissed.

“Harry, I can’t help what I feel. Besides I just said a break, not to break up.” I try to clear up, but that didn’t help. It only made him more furious. Too furious.

He suddenly gets up and kicks the tray over, splattering the food, rose, and candles onto the ground. The candles that are still lit were lighting the carpet up in flames. Oh God. I scream and panic, quickly looking around for something to put out the fire. Remembering that there is a fire extinguisher in the bathroom, I run inside and take it, following the directions for proper use. Once the flames were gone, I check for damage, and thankfully the carpet didn’t burn completely. I try to clean up everything as best as I can, soon finding the rose. What was once a bright red rose was now a crisp, black flower…

I look up to Harry who was mumbling profanities, pacing the room, occasionally knocking things over. Whether it was mine or not, he was making a mess. And it was scary. Him in his pure anger. I feel as if I am in danger. I shuffle back into the corner, watching him tear apart my hotel room. I bring up my knees to hug, leaving the rose by my side. My vision begins to blur from my tears, my body tensing up, warning me as if I was about to get hurt. This isn’t a good feeling.

Harry kicks the items that were scattered on the floor with anger. At least he isn’t afraid to show it, though I would prefer it to be toned down a tad. The tears were now streaming down my face. This is why I felt like a bother to him. I am causing him to do this. I make him mad. I make him unhappy. When he felt like what ever he was kicking had enough, he grips his hair and goes down on his knees.

“Harry…” I whisper as loud as I could, fearing that me crying would pitch my regular voice. He stayed silent for a good thirty seconds. No response. “Harry,” I try again, but still receiving nothing. With my heart beating harder, I slowly crawl over to him on all fours, my entire body shaking with the anticipation of something that is going to go wrong.

“Harry, are you, okay?” I reach out to touch his shoulder, my hand shaking on the way. When I create contact, Harry immediately flinches, and removes his head from his hands.

“Don’t touch me!” He growls. His once bright, happy green eyes turned almost black as they took in how close I was to him. His jaw clenched shut as he swings his hand at me, making me yelp. He wouldn’t.

I go backwards at the force and roll on my side a couple feet before stopping myself. I bring up a hand to my cheek, my fingers involuntarily moves to my outer lip, feeling something warm. With my heart dropping to the floor, I bring my hand down to view, and see my fingers slightly red. I could feel my lip pulsing as I sit up.

He just hit me. Harry Styles, hurt me.

My gaze quickly moved to him, the darkness in his eyes quickly vanished back to the dull green. His own hands cup his mouth, and all you could hear was my breath shaking.. I am just speechless right now.

“Amber…” His eyes quickly fill up with tears, spilling out in just seconds as mine did. “I-I didn’t mean i-it.” His hand comes down from his mouth and uses it for support as he stands up, slowly walking to me.

I shake my head, retrieving back to my corner and covering my mouth with my hand to hopefully stop the bleeding. This can’t be happening. He towers over me as he reaches down to remove my hand from my face, but I refuse to let him.

“P-Please Harry, j-just l-leave. I’m s-sorry...” I say through my hand. There is a heavy lump in my throat as I continue to cower back, wanting to disappear.

“No, Amber... I’m sorry I did that. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident I swear. I love you, I would never hurt you.” He tries but I shake my head.

“Harry, y-you just d-did.” I whisper. “Please, j-just go. Stop saying you l-love me, because you don't, no one wants to love s-someone like me.”

“No, I’m not leaving you like this. At least let me see what I did.” He bargains. I slowly remove my hand, looking down at it to see more blood. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned-”

“Harry, leave.” I cut him off, using my left hand this time to cover my bleeding lip, swallowing the lump and regaining my speech. “I can take care of it on my own. Keep in mind that you aren’t the only man to hit me. There were others. Now leave.” Even through his teary eyes, he looked confused.

“Others as in one, right?” I shake my head, remembering my childhood. “Who was the other?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, it no longer concerns you. Just leave.”

“Amber, who was it?” I shake my head. “Tell me.” He persists, but I shake my head again.

“I don’t want to tell you again Harry, leave my room.”

“Amber, tell me. Please.” He pleads, moving slightly closer, making me flinch. He stops and stays put. I wipe a tear away as I take in a deep breath.

“M-My father.” I finally tell him, looking down.

“Your dad?” His jaw drops as the words process in his head. “When was I going to know?” I shake my head at him.

“Doesn’t matter anymore. Just go.”

“But Amber-”

“LEAVE ME ALONE HARRY. WE’RE DONE.” I scream at him, making him cower back at hmy sudden raise of volume. "We're done. I can't do this anymore I'm sorry." I say much softer this time, getting up and running into the bathroom, locking it before he had a chance to even chase after me. I slide down the door and wait a couple minutes. Of course he follows and pounds on the door.

"Amber, please open the door... I'm sorry. Please." He pleads, making me squeeze my eyes shut, tears streaming down my face. I didn’t even listen to what else he said, but once I hear the front door slam shut, I finally let my emotion out and sob on the floor, curling up into a ball.

I’m sorry, Harry. I’m sorry.

Notes

Oh. So that happened. o.o

Guys, Harry Edward Styles just turned 21 today... :'( Can we all go to Never-Land and chill with
forever? xx But Happy 21st birthday Mr. Styles!!!