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My Judgement's Clouded

I would walk down the isle

The morning after the lunch with Danielle I woke up in Liams arms. Just like I did the rest of the mornings until the day I was going home. And that day was today. Every day since that lunch we all had just hanged out, which was a lot easier in theory. Liam, Maddie and El were extremely mad at Harry for what he had done, even though they didn’t show because I told them not to. We were constantly at Liams flat and when the boys were at the studio us girl hanged out on our own. At night Liam send everyone home at exactly seven and we spent the rest of the night watching Disney movies. I tried to avoid speaking about the whole Harry issue and when he was here I avoided speaking to him too. I just couldn’t forget those words Danielle spoke, and now that I knew that she did that only to hurt me it made everything worse. Every time I looked at him my heart hurt.

Right now, where I was lying in bed pretending to sleep so Liam would hold me a little longer, I couldn’t help but to think about last night. I had walked into mine and Liams bedroom to fetch something and Harry had followed me.

I hadn’t noticed him until he knocked on the door. I turned around, expecting it to be Liam, and got a shocked expression on my face.

“Harry…” His name was a bare whisper on my lips.

“Can we talk, Ross?” He spoke with a broken voice and it sounded like he had been screaming for days. I looked out into the hallway to see if anyone was there but no one was. I was a little disappointed, thinking maybe Liam or Maddie could save me from this. Harry kept on looking at me so I nodded and he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

“So…” I clapped my hands together awkwardly. “What did you want to talk about?” I tried to look confident and I tried to have my eyes anywhere except on him. I couldn’t look him in the eyes right now.

“Seriously Ross? You have been ignoring me for the past few days.” I sighed as he continued. “And I have no idea why!” He raised his voice so he was almost screaming, but not loud enough for the people in the living room to hear. I felt the untamed anger rise up from the past few days and as I looked him in the eye he cringed back.

“You don’t know?” I walked closer to him and he backed up. “Are you sure your little fuck buddy didn’t tell you what happened?” I stood a meter away from him and he looked at me with shocked eyes.

“What are you talking about Ross?” He diverted his eyes slightly as he spoke.

“Oh shut it Harry!” I screamed at him. I was sure the people in the flat heard. The talking outside the bedroom door stopped. “She told me Harry.” His gaze dropped to the floor and I backed up.

“Ross please…”

“Did you sleep with her when you told me you were in love with me?” I snapped the words at him and he looked up at me with hurt eyes. I couldn’t find it in me to feel sorry for him at that moment.

“Ross you weren’t here…” He began speaking again but I put my hand up to stop him.

“Let me save you the trouble Harry.” I walked to the door and opened it for him. “I don’t care if you leave or if you stay, just get out of this room.” He looked at me for a couple of seconds before walking out of the bedroom. When he was outside the door he turned around to say something. I did the most rational thing I could and slammed the door shut.

The strange thing was that after the talk with Harry I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel sad at all actually. I just felt angry at him, it felt like he had played me and I didn’t like it. Did I still love him? Yes I did but I just couldn’t trust him anymore. After I had slammed the door shut I quickly put my headphones in and turned up the music to max. I knew there were screaming going on out there and I didn’t want to hear it. A few minutes after that Liam came into the room and told me everyone had gone home. He and I had a very nice cuddle night where we watched movies again and ate ice cream. It was awesome.

We were now lying in his bed, I was pretending to sleep and he sounded like he really was asleep. I snuggled closer to him, loving the warmth he gave me. Soon I felt him stir and I knew he was about to wake up. I tried to look as asleep as I could. I felt him hug me tighter before leaning on his elbow. He was looking down at me and I tried my best to fight back the smile that was starting to form on my face. It seemed like he didn’t notice that I was awake because he sighed and kissed my forehead before getting up from the bed. I looked at him in confusion as he put on some sweats and a shirt and then walking out into the kitchen. Instead of lying there thinking about the possibilities for what had caused his behaviour I got up out of the bed and walked after him. When I walked out into the hallway I saw him sitting by the kitchen table with his head in his hands. I walked over to him and leaned down to hug him. His arms grasped mine as he looked up at me with a tired smile.

“I’m sorry if I woke you.” He leaned closer and kissed me lightly. I released him so that I could sit down on the chair beside him.

“You didn’t.” I answered simply and watched him. He looked rather sad and really tired. I lifted my hand to his cheek and he leaned his head onto my palm. He closed his eyes and turned his head to kiss my palm. I felt a small tug at my heart and it made me smile. “Liam… What’s wrong?” I caressed his cheek with my thumb and searched his face for the answer. He opened his eyes and smiled softly.

“I am really going to miss you, that’s all.” I felt tears start to form in my eyes and saw that the same was happening to him. I leaned forward and placed a gently yet passionate kiss on his lips. When I leaned back he was smiling weakly.

“I’m going to miss you too.” He leaned his forehead against mine and we sat there in silence for several minutes. Today I was going to go home to Sweden with Maddie. We were going to finish this school year and in two months the boys were coming to Sweden. In about two and a half month to three months I was going to give birth to our child. It was a lot to take in.

Liam and I decided to take the day slow. He cooked me breakfast and then we walked down to a nearby mall. I didn’t want him to buy me anything so of course I came home with two pair of shoes and three dresses. I was surprised at how little I actually had shopped in my time here in London. I thought I was going to blow all my savings on one week, thankfully I didn’t. When we got back to the flat he helped me pack and now we were waiting for the boys and Maddie and El. When they arrived we all shuffled into the two cars and began to drive to the airport. In the first car there was Liam driving, me in the passenger seat and El and Louis in the backseat. The rest rode in the other car, Zayn, Niall and Maddie. Harry was nowhere in sight but I figured that Liam told him not to come. Which I was grateful for because I didn’t want to see him.

The entire ride to the airport was silent. I was holding on to Liams hand like I was afraid I would loose him. The radio was on and El and Louis were whispering in the backseat. But Liam and I were silent. I didn’t know what to say. I was really going to miss him a lot. He said he was going to miss too and it made my heart break just thinking about the fact that we weren’t going to see each other for two months. When Liam drove into the parking lot at the airport he kissed my fingers and then let my hand go to park the car. When the car was turned off Louis and El jumped out and Liam and I just sat there. I turned my head so I was looking at him and he was clutching the steering wheel. I could see on his face that he had been crying and the tears started rolling down his cheeks again. Only the sight of him so sad made me cry too.

“Promise me you’re going to call me as often as you can.” I whispered the words softly and he turned to me with a weak smile on his lips.

“Of course.” He leaned forward and connected out lips before leaning his forehead against mine. “I will write to you everyday too.” I closed my eyes and absorbed the feeling of him near.

“And I will respond.” I laughed weakly and opened my eyes. His eyes were closed and he looked torn. “Liam…” He kept his eyes shut as he shook his head.

“I know… We should get going.” He sighed and I put my hand on his cheek. As he opened his eyes I couldn’t help but smile. He looked like a little boy. “I just don’t want you to leave. I know we will see each other in a few months but still.” He sounded like a stubborn child. He kept on talking but I zoned him out as I felt this overwhelming feeling inside my chest. When I felt like I couldn’t hold it in anymore I uttered the words I feared the most.

“Liam I love you.” He stopped mid-sentence and looked at me in shock. I smiled at him shyly and his expression turned soft. A smile started to play on his lips.

“I’m sorry what did you say?” I rolled my eyes at his lame attempt to make me say it again. Instead of pleasing him I kissed his lips quickly and then opened my door.

“You heard me.” I jumped out of the car and walked to the back of it to fetch my luggage. I heard Liam jump out of the car and run to the back just in time when I got there.

“Yeah I heard you, but could you say it again?” He smiled cheekily at me and I laughed. I moved closer to him and stepped up on my toes as I whispered in his ear.

“I said, Liam I love you.” I kissed his cheek and were about to step back when his hands caught my face. He crashed his lips onto mine and I smiled into the kiss. He leaned back but didn’t let go of my face.

“I love you too.” The pure bliss I felt in that moment was ridiculous. I was so happy but at the same time I felt sad, because I was leaving. He crashed his lips onto mine again and kissed me for a long time. It was not until a voice interrupted us that we broke apart.

“Hey! You’re in public!” We turned to see Paul walking towards us. When I looked around I spotted several paparazzi’s and I didn’t care. I was just so happy.

“Wow, you are a buzz kill Paul.” Liam laughed and opened the trunk. Paul grunted and shook his head. He looked at me with amused eyes.

“What have you done to the responsible one?” I felt slightly offended but knew he was kidding.

“I simply do not know.” I shrugged and grabbed my purse. I let the boys take the big suit cases. I felt like a queen.

“You guys are having a baby soon, and you converted him into a child too?” I laughed at his statement and shook my head.

“Hopefully he will mature until that time.” I turned to Liam who was smiling. “Won’t you?”

“Absolutely!” He stood up straight and nodded his head. Sighing at his attempt to be mature I walked towards the entrance of the airport. I saw the rest of the boys and the two girls standing by the checkpoint. We walked over to them and I looked over at Maddie.

“Have you checked in yet?” She shook her head and swallowed the sandwich in her mouth.

“We should go do that, like now.” She dragged out the word now and then nodded towards the counters. I nodded and walked over to the line. She followed me and we stood there waiting for our turn.

“So did you and Niall have a good last night together?” I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she punched my arm.

“Yes we did, even though it’s none of your business!” She smiled a dopey smile and looked back at the group. “What did you and Liam do?” I shrugged and smiled too.

“We just watched movies and cuddled.” I saw Maddie blush and turned to her completely. I narrowed my eyes at her and leaned forward.

“Did you guys have sex?” I spoke in a whisper and her face became bright red.

“Rosanna!” She punched my arm again and looked around to see if anyone heard. “What Niall and I do has nothing to do with you.” I gasped.

“OMG you totally did it!” I spoke a little higher and saw the boys and El look our way. I caught Nialls gaze and mouthed a ‘I know’ to him. His face became bright red too. I laughed out loud but before Maddie could speak again it was my turn to check in. We both checked in out big bags and got our tickets to the flight. When we were finished we walked back to the boys and El. We didn’t have much time so we all walked over to the security check and started to say goodbye. I hugged all of the boys tightly and told them how much I was going to miss them. When it came to El I held on to her a little longer than the boys.

“I am going to miss you so much!” She spoke and then I heard her sniffle. I leaned back to see her crying.

“I am going to miss you more, you are like a sister to me.” I smiled wider and hugged her again.

“Hey that’s not fair! Why didn’t we get that kind of hugs?” Louis crushed both me and El in a big hug and all of the boys joined in. When I was released I turned to Liam. He wasn’t crying anymore and neither was I. I was happy I had told him how I felt and I was ecstatic that he had felt the same. I caressed his cheek and he put a hand behind my neck. He pulled me into a loving kiss that made my knees weak.

“I love you.” With soft words he blew my mind away. I could really tell he meant that.

“I love you.” I spoke with a broken voice and leaned up to kiss him again. It was hard to leave him but I had too. When we broke free Maddie and I waved goodbye to Paul and then walked through the security check. From behind me I could hear El whisper-yell at Liam.

“When did that happen?” She sounded to happy it was crazy. I couldn’t help the smile on my lips as I walked into the airport, towards my plane home.

We got to Malmo Airport at about seven at night. It wasn’t that late but it still took a lot to travel. As soon as we had our luggage and found a taxi to take us home I called my mom to tell her everything was fine. I told her we were on our way home and that I had told Liam I loved him. She was thrilled that I had taken that step, because she knew how hard it was for me. When we got home we had tons of mail, our neighbour had taken care of it for us. When we were inside the door we both just dropped our luggage and stared at the mail on the counter before us. Maddie was the first one to speak up but I totally agreed with her.

“Fuck this.” She picked up her biggest bag and began walking towards her bedroom. “I’m going to bed.” I heard her mutter and then her bedroom door slammed close. I laughed slightly at her and then followed her lead. I took one of my bags and walked into my bedroom. I changed and laid down in my bed. I picked up my phone and saw that I had a mention on my Twitter.

Not caring if this sound cheesy, but I really miss you @RosieposieXx! Can’t wait until June! Xxx


Sorry to say it is only four chapters left of this...


I loved the story. The ending was so cute! :)
naaah it's fine I'm just going to be subscribed to it to save the wonderfulness lol
Naah I mean dislike very much because I ended the story ;)
Well I mean I would never hate you.... Unless I know you o.O lol