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My Judgement's Clouded

It makes your lips

After we had told everyone the news that we were having a girl they started brainstorming names. There was every name from Anna to Zeleigh being mentioned in this room. They were all super happy for us and was jumping out of joy. Everyone except Harry. He stood in the corner looking at his feet and sometimes his phone. I couldn’t take seeing him like that, not when I knew I was the one who was causing it. I listened to everyone while they fought about the names, I mean come on it was mine and Liams decision to make. I couldn’t take them yelling so much so I laughed while I tried to get their attention.

“Hey! Hello guys!” Some of them were now looking at me but Louis and Niall were still discussing something. “HEY!” I yelled really loud so even Harry looked up. Louis and Niall stopped fighting and looked at me with big eyes. “I might be out of line here but isn’t it up to the parents to come up with the name?” Louis laughed and shook his head. He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder and sighed.

“Ross, Ross, Ross. We are going to be around this kid for the rest of our lives, you have no say in this.” He patted my shoulder and I fake gasped.

“Fine!” I stuck my nose up in the air and acted snobby. “But the middle name has to be Veronica.” They all looked at me like I was crazy and I sighed. “It’s kind of a family name.” They all went ‘oh’ and then continued to talk about a first name.

“But a foreign name will only make it more, you know, foreign.” Liam was standing close to me as he spoke to Zayn.

“And is there something bad about that?” Zayn sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I’m just saying that all of the names I have suggested have a deeper meaning.”

“And I see that Zayn, and we will think about it. But if she ever wants a regular life isn’t simpler with a Swedish name or something.”

“The kid is going to have your last name, it’s not like she will have to struggle.” My head snapped in their direction and I waited for Liams answer.

“I don’t know if she is going to have mine or Ross last name. We haven’t talked about it yet, drop it mate.” Zayn became quiet then and looked over at me. I quickly snapped my gaze away and looked over at Louis and Niall. They were also talking names and who was going to be the god-father, they both wanted that label. Boys… I looked over at my best friend as she sat on the floor talking to El. They were both writing down something on a paper, I assumed it was baby names. I was going to see that later. When I kept on looking around the room my eyes fell on Harry. He was looking at the door and it looked like he was about to leave.

“Liam.” Liam turned to me and looked at me with a smile on his lips. “Can you help me off the bed?” He looked confused but did what I asked. It was hard since my body hurt a little and the bed was like three meters above the ground. When I felt my feet finally touch the ground I thanked Liam and looked towards the door. Harry was no where to be seen so I headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Liam grabbed my arm and pulled me back so I would look at him. My face softened as I looked him deep in the eye.

“I need to talk to Harry.” He held on to my arm a few moments more and then sighed and let go. I walked out of the room, hardly getting noticed by my friends. When I stepped out into the hall there was no one there. It was quiet except for the voices coming from my room and the beeping machines that were in all the rooms. To my left, far down the hallway, there was a hospital bed that stood by the wall. On it was a dark figure that looked a lot like Harry. I walked up to him slowly, not wanting him to notice me too soon. I watched him every step of the way. He was a fragile boy who never intended anything bad to happen. He was broken, even more broken then the day we met. He was sitting with his feet up on the bed and his head on his knees. He slender arms were hugging his legs so tightly it looked like they would break. Just looking at him made my heart break a thousand times over.

When I was only two meters from him he noticed me there and looked up. He got a pained look on his face and started to jump of the bed. He turned his back towards me and took a step to walk away. I grabbed the back of his shirt and held on to like it was a lifesaver.

“Harry, please don’t leave.” I heard him whimper a little before his body was slammed into mine. He was holding me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe. But that was okay. “Harry…” I felt his body shake as he cried soft tears that landed on my shirt. “It wasn’t your fault.” He shook his head and looked up at me. His eyes were red and filled with unshed tears. His face had traces of old and new tears and as I looked at him I felt my eyes start to water.

“You could’ve died.” He was holding onto my stomach so I knew he wasn’t talking about just me. I put both of my hands on his face and lifted it up so he was looking into my eyes.

“But we didn’t, Harry. We are here…” I whispered the last words as my voice cracked. My words were only meant for Harry as I continued to speak. “We will always be here, Harry. So please don’t leave.” My fingers found their way into his hair as he stood in front of me, weeping silently. I leaned my forehead to his and closed my eyes. “Please don’t leave me.” I didn’t know what to do to express my feeling towards him.

I kept my eyes closed as my lips went searching for his. I kissed him softly, his lips tasting salty. “I couldn’t manage without you.” I kissed him again as he just stood there. His wonderful lips responded to mine as I kissed him with all the love and tenderness I had in me. We had been kissing for several minutes when he broke free and I leaned back. I didn’t open my eyes as I spoke. “Just promise me you’ll never leave. No matter how evil I get, no matter how much I hurt you. Please stay. I know it’s a lot to ask but I need you.” He had stopped weeping as he put his forehead against mine. I let out a shaky breath as he hugged my waist tighter.

“I promise.” I felt my heart sink as he spoke those words. I didn’t realize I had been so afraid of loosing Harry. My tears were poring at that moment and I couldn’t help but to laugh.

“Thank you.” Both of our voices were still whispers and the words we uttered were only for us two. We stood there for such a long moment it felt like we were frozen in time. I loved the feeling of him holding me but I knew what I had to tell him. And as if he knew too he spoke with a broken voice.

“You’re choosing him.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement because he already knew the answer to that. I felt like child as I pulled him closer to me and pushed my head against his neck. He held onto me like we were saying goodbye. Like he would never hold me again. It broke my heart to do this to him again but I hoped he would understand. I hoped he would see that I really did love him.

“I love you with all of my heart.” I whispered into his chest. He put his head against my neck and I felt his wet face. He was now crying again and it was my fault again.

“I know.” His voice was so quiet I almost thought I had imagined his words but when he leaned back and grabbed my shoulders to look at me I knew they were real. “I know.” My arms fell to my sides as he stood there watching me. “And I love you so much too. I might not understand completely but I love you enough to let you go.” I shook my head and sobbed even louder.

“I am so sorry.” I was looking at my feet when he lifted my chin to make me look at him. He was shaking his head and had a small smile on his face.

“There is nothing to be sorry for. We tried this but it didn’t work. But we will remain friends, and I am not saying that just to make you feel better. I mean it.” He looked into my eyes the entire time and I saw the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Thank you…” He smiled at me and pulled me into a hug.

“And he will take even better care of you then I ever could’ve.” I looked up at Harry and wiped my tears away.

“If you don’t keep your promise I will hunt you down. Do you get that?” He laughed silently and nodded. His face turned serious once more as he looked at me.

“Can I ask for one last thing before we walk into that room?” I nodded. I would give this boy anything. He was much more than a friend, more than a brother to me. He was a part of me. And it hurt that I had to do this to a part of me. “Can I have a goodbye kiss?” I felt my eyes start to tear up as I nodded. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips onto mine. There was no tongue and there was no touching but the kiss was perfect. It lasted for what seemed like a lifetime but it was over too soon. When I felt his lips leave mine I kept my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see his hurt face. His hand touched my face gently and wiped a few tears away. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with love in his eyes.

“Harry…” I tried to smile at him but failed. “I know this isn’t easy for you. This isn’t easy for me…” I let my words trail of and he smiled a genuine smile to me.

“It’s not going to be easy. But if you love someone, you sometimes have to let them go.” He leaned towards me and kissed my forehead. I sighed as he grabbed my hand and started to lead me back to the room. Right when we got back a nurse walked in.

”Visiting hours is over.” I let go of Harrys hand as he smiled at me. As all of my friends shuffled out of the room they all walked past me and gave me a hug. I told El she should set up a lunch with all us girls, me, Maddie, her and Danielle. I told Louis he should dial down the god-father talk and that Niall should have food ready when I went home the day after. At last they all had left and there was only me and Liam left. I looked at the open door that Maddie had just walked out of and heard Liam clear his throat behind me.

“So how did it go with Ha…” I didn’t give him time to answer as I turned around and pressed my lips against his. I kissed him long and he responded by wrapping his arms around me. When I pulled back he looked into my eyes. “I love you, I think.” I smiled at his attempt to make me feel more safe around the love word.

“I think I love you to Mr.Payne.”


I loved the story. The ending was so cute! :)
naaah it's fine I'm just going to be subscribed to it to save the wonderfulness lol
Naah I mean dislike very much because I ended the story ;)
Well I mean I would never hate you.... Unless I know you o.O lol