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My Judgement's Clouded

I thought things were going alright

Even though everything was fine now I knew I was going to push them away again. I never really got friends easy and relationships were not even in my vocabulary, except from that one which screwed everything up. I was scared all the time that I was going to say something that hurt them and my mind tried to convince me that I was ruining their lives. Liam had told me that I didn’t but still, being a parent isn’t something you can do from the road, is it? I’m not the person who can say anything really because until this child comes I’m not a parent and I haven’t been on the road. Watching interviews on the internet with the very popular boy band One Direction I learned that they all were grateful for the success they reached. They were modest and loved the small things. Now that I had gotten the chance to get to know Harry I found out that he was just another guy who needed a regular and simple friendship. I did love him with all of my heart because he was the only friend that I could talk to like we had met everyday, even though it has been almost four months since we spoke last.

We were all sitting and watching the movie I had picked out. I tried sitting as far back into the sofa as possible because I didn’t want the boys seeing that I hid my face 75 % of the movie. The Ring had always been my favourite and my worst choice of a movie. It was so bloody scary that I have never managed to watch the entire thing. Harry sat next to me and he turned his head slightly and caught the sight of me. He smile and put his arm around me. I nuzzled into him and smiled back at him. When the movie was finished we all agreed that it was time to eat. Since I didn’t want the boys to be seen with my belly anytime soon, and the boys agreed, Niall and Louis went out to get some food. Now you might think that I didn’t want the boys to be seen with me for my own sake, but just think about the press and the fans reaction. It would’ve been crazy.

While we waited I played with my phone and sighed because I was getting really bored. Harry still sat next to me and he was looking at my phone as I was playing, I was just playing Temple Run and I sucked at it. Anyways, I sighed once more and then put my phone away. Harry groaned and stood up.

“I am so bored!” He almost shouted it and then turned back to the sofa. “Rooooss” he said my name in a winy voice and then jumped up and down a little. “Liiiaaaaam” he turned to Liam and did the same. When he was about to turn to Zayn to do the same we all realized Zayn wasn’t there. Harry looked extremely confused and turned to us. I think he was about to ask where the heck Zayn was when something collided with his body, sending him shooting onto the sofa almost hitting me. I shrieked and everyone turned to look at me. I realized I was clutching my stomach and I was probably looking terrified. They all stopped in their tracks and looked at my belly. I realized they were probably afraid that Harry had crushed me and that made me start laughing.

“Guys relax!” I stood up and turned to look at the boys. “It’s not a missile or anything like that, it’s a baby.” I decided to explore the hotel room so I abruptly turned and walked away. I heard the boys start to whisper but I wasn’t within hearing shot. When I had walked into the room the first thing I saw was the living room, with the sofa and the TV. To the right when you walked in there was a bedroom, I didn’t see much of it but it looked glamorous. To the left I noticed a small hallway and I started walking towards it.

There were three doors in the hallway, the first one was a bathroom and again it looked glamorous. It was located to the left and a couple meters away were another door. I opened the door and noticed at once that the room was Harrys. I recognized his clothes thrown all over the floor and his computer on the bed. I looked to see if there was anyone that had followed me and when I saw that the hallway was clear I walked in and closed the door. I leaned against the door, caressing me belly as I looked around the room again. On the bed there was his computer and then a couple of shirts. I walked over and picked the one that I recognized up.

Harry and I were talking on Skype when he suddenly wanted to show me something. As usual I just sighed and laughed at him while he disappeared when the camera. He kept talking to me so I knew he was in the same room. It was his room back home in London, in his and Louis flat. Harry was now fiddling with what ever he was doing and I started to tell him about my school.

“And yesterday there was this but ugly girl that got really mad at me for getting higher scores than her on a test! I mean how stupid is she, everybody knows that if you study then that’s how you get a high score.” I heard Harry laugh and he gave me a thumbs up in the webcam.

“But she is just jealous of you, darling!” I laughed when he called me darling, as I do every time he calls me that. “It’s not your fault if you’re a genius.” He spoke the last sentence with a really sassy and bitchy voice. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. When I finally managed to speak I had tears in my eyes.

“If it only were so simple!” I sighed and thought back to when she and I fought. “She accused me of sleeping with my professors.” I felt bad for almost lying to Harry, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. The truth was that my belly was beginning to show and she assumed that one of the teachers at my school was the father. And the extremely ironic part was that she was a huge One Direction fan. As soon as I had spoken the words Harrys face snapped back into view.

“She did what?!?” His face looked so hilarious that I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Harry it’s fine! I’ve been called worse.” I smiled gently to him and get again felt guilty about lying to him.

“I still think that she was way out of line!” He closed his eyes and shook his head. I let out a small laugh and shook my head at him. “Anyway, I really want to show you this thing.” I raised an eyebrow and looked at the screen with curiosity written in my eyes. “Are you ready?” I laughed and nodded. “Okay! Here we go!” He backed up from the screen and showed me the shirt he was wearing. It was a black t-shirt with a white-pink print on it. It looked really awesome but I couldn’t tell what it was exactly.

“Cool Harry! But what is it?” I looked at the screen a bit confused and smiled at the cheeky boy.

“It’s our names, silly!” I laughed when he said silly and then looked at the shirt again. When Harry looked at me again I think I still looked confused because he sighed and shook his head. “Really Ross?” He pointed to his shirt. “Here is my name, Harry, and here is your name, Rosanna.” I looked at it carefully and it took me a few seconds before I saw it. His name was written with a white colour and my name was in pink.

“Oh! Now I see it!” I laughed and then pouted a little. “Sweetie, where is my shirt?!?” I whined and then fake sobbed. It was really cool and I really wanted one.

“I just sent it to you!” He gave me one of the most genuine smiles he had ever given me and tilted his head a little. “You should get it in about four days or something.” I just looked at him for several seconds and then Harry looked up behind his screen. I heard some voices in the background and I sighed. I knew he had to go now.

“You need to leave right?” Harrys gaze snapped back to the computer in front of him and he smiled weakly to me.

“Yeah, Liam just walked in and told me we have to leave for an interview.” He shrugged and looked at his hands. “I’m sorry Ross. I really want to keep talking to you.” He sighed. “Sometimes I wish I could be someone else and have some free time.” The smile vanished from my face and I shook my head.

“Don’t say that Harry! You love what you do and don’t regret anything, okay?” He smiled and winked at me.

“What would I do without you, Ross?” I looked at my hands, feeling really guilty for not telling him everything like he does to me. “I really need to go now! See you later Ross!” He was about to close his computer when I practically yelled his name.

“Harry!” He looked at me with surprise in his eyes and waited. “I just want to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you more than I could ever say and I am sorry for everything.” He smiled and looked a bit confused.

“I love you too Ross. But you don’t have to be sorry for anything.” He waved to me and then logged out. I sat there looking at my screen for several minutes. I really was sorry for everything and I didn’t know how I would cope without him there. He and Maddie had really helped me through the hard times, even though he didn’t know about the real problem. The hard part was that from now on I had to ignore him, so that he wouldn’t get too involved in the upcoming problems. I hadn’t realized I was crying until Maddie walked into the room and asked me if I was alright. She hugged me tight and I sighed into her shoulder.

“He is going to be really hurt.” I cried even more when I thought about that fact.

“I know, Ross. But what you did was right. You did it because you love him.” I nodded and cried some more. That was the last time I talked to Harry Styles.

I thought back to the last time I had spoken to Harry. I buried my face in the shirt I was holding and felt my heart break a little. Maddie had told me several times that Niall wanted to know what was going on. He said that Harry was heartbroken even though he didn’t show it. I sighed and felt a tear escape from my eye.

“Crap.” I wiped it away and heard someone cough behind me. I swirled around and saw Liam standing there by the door. I looked down at the shirt I was holding and I just had to ask. “Was he mad for a long time?” Liam knew what I was talking about. Of course he knew, the boys were as close as Siamese twins.

“He wasn’t mad. He was just really hurt.” I felt my shoulders drop and a sigh escaped my lips.
“I really didn’t want to treat him like I did, it just happened in a wrong way.” I shook my head and kept on looking at the shirt. “I’m just glad he doesn’t hate me.”

“Of course he doesn’t.” I heard Liam walk forward and he put his hand on my shoulder. “Rosie, he loves you.” I laughed a little and shook my head.

“I know that, he told me about two million times.” I laughed again and backed away from Liams hand. I put the shirt on the bed and looked at it lying there.

“No I mean he loves you, like he is in love with you.” I felt my back stiffen and my breath catch. He couldn’t.

“Don’t do this to me.” I whispered low but loud enough for Liam to hear.

“Rosie, I am telling you the truth.” I felt my heart swell a little. Was Harry really in love with me? How did I feel about it? I decided I didn’t want to believe him.

“It can’t be true.”

“Why not?” Liam sounded annoyed and I didn’t blame him.

“Because everything good in my life is always ruined! And something as good as Harry being in love with me can’t be true.” I yelled at him and realized what I had said. Liams face mirrored what I felt, surprise. His face stayed like that for a couple of seconds and then he looked mad. He looked around as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. Finally he looked at me again and his eyes almost looked black. Just before he spoke his face softened and he looked at me with what seemed like a longing look.

“Well then I am sorry to tell you he is not the only one in this boy band that is in love with you.” As soon as he had said the words he turned and walked out of the room. I was left there, stunned and confused.


I loved the story. The ending was so cute! :)
naaah it's fine I'm just going to be subscribed to it to save the wonderfulness lol
Naah I mean dislike very much because I ended the story ;)
Well I mean I would never hate you.... Unless I know you o.O lol