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My Judgement's Clouded

Will he say he's in love?

I didn’t want them here, really. I wanted them to forget about what happened and then just leave. Now I would have to live with the fact that I had ruined Liams life and that didn’t go well with me. I smiled towards Louis who had just apologized and tried to figure out how to get them to agree not to come here later. I know I shouldn’t act like this but if they were really coming I wasn’t going to be kind towards Liam. I sighed and looked at my feet as the boys stared at me, all of them at my house except Liam. Yes I had said yes to Harrys proposal but that didn’t mean that I wanted them here. I just couldn’t say no to him, I loved that stupid boy. After we all had stood there for several minutes Zayn finally spoke up, but he didn’t say anything that I wanted to hear.

“We need to go see Liam.” I snapped my head in his direction and just shook it.

“I don’t want to.” I looked at me feet and sighed. There was no way that they would let me off the hook.

“You have to Ross.” Harry spoke and his words made me sit down on my desk chair.

“But I really don’t want to.” I wined and put my head in my hands. As soon as I thought about talking to Liam I was afraid that I was going to hurt him, and of course I was going to. If I treated him like shit maybe he would leave me alone.

“He has the right to know what we have decided. And he deserves to hear it from you.” When he spoke I was firstly surprised but then I realized that Louis was the one that had Liams back the most. Damn it, I sighed and then stood up.

“Fine I will talk to him, but I will also point out that I don’t need him.” Harry was about to protest and I held my hand up. “No Harry. I told you all that I don’t want this. If you and he choose to be a part of this baby’s life then that is your choice.” They all nodded and then we agreed on that I would tell my mother that I was going to go talk to Liam. I left the boys in my room and walked out to the kitchen, where my mother was.

“What is it honey?” My mother saw the worried expression on my face and pulled me into a tight hug. I felt like crying but then I thought about all the tears I had shed before. I had often broken down over the fact that I would have to do this myself, but that was all self conflicted. I mentally shook myself and leaned back to look at my mother.

“I am going to go and talk to Liam.” She nodded, understanding what I needed to do. I let out a deep breath and looked at the floor. “He and the boys that are here now are coming to Sweden to be with me when the baby comes.” She smiled and looked as if she thought it was a good idea.

“That’s great honey!” She searched my face for anything positive and when she didn’t find it her face fell. “What’s wrong, Rosanna?” She whispered softly to me and looked at me with concerned eyes.

“It feels like I am destroying their lives. Liam didn’t sign up for this and I was stupid enough to sleep with him. I just feel like it is my mistake and I should take care of it.” My mother put her hands on the sides of my face and sighed. Her eyes looked lovingly at me and she kissed my forehead. It all made me feel like a little child again.

“No matter what happens I think this boy really wants this child. And I think he doesn’t mind that it is with you, darling. Sure, it might not have been a good time right now but when is it a good time? He came to you, telling you he wanted to help right?” She looked at me with sincere eyes and I nodded. “You told him he didn’t have to help you and yet he offered. If you are afraid he is going to disappear then talk to him about that.” I looked at my mother, searching for any signs that she might be lying to me. Of course there wasn’t any and I sighed.

“It’s not that I am afraid that he is going to leave, I know for a fact that he won’t.” I looked at me barefoot feet and sighed again. “What I am afraid of is that he is going to be mad at me for the rest of his life. I am afraid that he will hate is bastard child and that he will neglect her/him.” I covered my face with my hands and I felt my mother hug me even more tightly.

“Only one way to find out, honey.” She kissed my forehead and lifted my chin. “You have to go talk to him.” I nodded and hugged her really tightly too.

“I will.” I let her go and smiled. “Thank you so much Mom. We are going to get going now. So I don’t know if I’m going to here for dinner.” She smiled and nodded. She told me that that wouldn’t be a problem and that they would save me some food. I walked towards my room and heard the boys talking. So I stopped outside to eavesdrop a little.

“She is going to have to talk to him.” Harry said.

“Yeah but it’s like she doesn’t want him at all.” Louis spoke and now he sounded hurt.

“Well she doesn’t. She practically told us that.” Zayn spoke as the voice of reason and I gasped. It became quiet in the room and Nialls voice soon rang through the door.

“Ross is that you?” I cursed myself and then walked through the door as if I hadn’t heard anything.

“Yeah! I talked to my mother and she is okay with me leaving.” I looked around the room and saw all the boys wondering how much I had heard. I tried not to sound impatient but I really wanted this to be over. “So…. Are we leaving soon?” Harry jumped up from his place on the bed and grabbed my shoulders.

“Yeah we should get going now.” My face fell a little because I was actually hoping they would say we could postpone it.

“Indeed we should!” Louis walked out into the hall and Harry and I followed him. We all put on our shoes and my mother came to great us goodbye. The boys had a car there, with a personal driver, and I was in awe. It never really occurred to me that they were celebrities anymore. We got in and Zayn told the driver we were going to the hotel. I took deep breaths all the way there and when I felt the car stopped I realized my eyes were closed. Harry tapped my shoulder and my eyes opened. I let out a heavy sigh and then followed the boys out of the car. I walked a meter behind them, dreading the moment when we would reach their rooms. We got into an elevator and went up to the seventh floor. We walked out into a long hallway and then at the end of it turned left. Outside a few rooms I saw three bodyguards and figured it was the boys’ rooms. The bodyguards looked at me then at the boys. Zayn nodded and put his hand on my back.

“She fine guys. She’s with us.” We walked past them as they nodded their heads. The men were huge and I felt even guiltier. Plus they had been staring at my belly a little bit. My dear little baby started kicking, probably feeling my nervousness. I placed a hand on my belly as we walked into the room. I figured they didn’t share this one room but that this was the one that Liam was in. I kept on taking deep breaths and looked around the room, without seeing it. I was too nervous about the fact that I had to talk to Liam soon. The boys walked into what looked like a living room, it had a TV and an Xbox. I looked around, my heart beating extremely fast. I heard him before I saw him and I realized he didn’t know I was going back with the other boys.

“Did you guys talk to Rosie?” He walked into the room and saw me. He stopped in his tracks and just looked at me. He looked hesitant and as if he didn’t know what to do. Harry spoke and I was able to break my gaze from Liams.

“Well we need to head out. We’ll be in the other room if you need us!” Louis didn’t look as if he wanted to leave but he looked at me with stern eyes and then nodded towards me. All of the boys, except Liam, left the room. I nodded my goodbyes to them all and then I looked out the window. Liam and I stood there for several minutes, just in an extremely awkward silence. I heard Liam sigh and my head turned towards him. He was looking at me and now his gaze met mine. I felt my eyes tear up and Liam started to walk towards me. I put my hand up and shook my head.

“There is something you must understand before we talk about the future.” I looked him directly in the eye and he nodded. “This whole arrangement is just that I happened to have a kid in my belly that just happened to be yours.” His face fell a little but he nodded. “I’m sure you don’t want to get tied down with me and I do not want to be yours.” He looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

“What do you mean that I don’t want to be tied down with you?” I was about to respond when he beat me to it. “If I didn’t like you for who you are then I wouldn’t be here.” He went to sit in the sofa and then he continued, more to himself than to me. “If I didn’t like you then I wouldn’t have respected your wish that I would but out.” He turned slightly towards me but didn’t look at me. “Could you sit down?” I sighed slightly but did what he wanted.

“I’m sorry Liam.” I spoke as I sat down. I struggled a little, since my belly wasn’t exactly small anymore. The baby kicked like crazy, feeling daddy nearby.

“Why do you always say that?” He turned towards me and looked at me with sad eyes. “Rosie, do you think that you’ve ruined my life?” He caught me blindsided and I turned my face away. “You do?” He sounded surprised that I thought that. “Don’t think that.. Please, Rosie you haven’t ruined anything. You gave me the courage to get out of a relationship that made me feel awful.” I sat and looked straight forward when he spoke. I stroked my belly to calm my baby down. I sat there, thinking about the future and how everything would look, when I realized that Liam hadn’t felt the baby kick. I looked at my hands and then up at Liam. He was looking at my hands as well.

“The baby is kicking right now.” He looked up at me and then smiled weakly. I could tell he wanted to feel it too. “Here.” I grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach where the baby was kicking the hardest. He gasped when he felt her/him kick and then he looked up at me.

“That’s amazing.” He was getting a little teary eyed and I saw that he tried to swallow it back. I was still holding my hand over his so I looked down at our hands and spoke softly.

“This is how he or she reacts every time you are near me.” He smiled when I looked up at him and then he put his other hand on top of mine.

“This is a miracle…” He whispered the words and it was hard for me to hear them, but I did. I looked at our hands and then up at him. He seemed like he was really happy. I didn’t want to ruin that but we had to talk.

“Liam…” He looked up at me and smiled as if he truly loved the mother of his child. I swallowed back the lump in my throat and made myself keep looking at him. “We need to talk about this.” I moved my hands around on my belly and he smiled even wider.

“I know.” He looked at our hands and spoke again. “I know.”

“Liam listen to me.” Liam looked up at me and smiled again. “I don’t know how to start…” His face fell a little and he looked at my belly. He removed his hands and started rubbing them on his knees. I sighed as he did too.

“I know you don’t want to be mine, but you are my baby’s mother.” I got a little hurt by his words because that wasn’t what I had meant.

“Liam please.” I put my finger underneath his chin to lift it up, so that he would look at me. I caressed his cheek and followed his features with my eyes. “It’s hard for me, Liam.” I sighed and he looked at me with curious eyes. “I’m scared.” He put his hand on mine and squeezed it.

“Why?” He looked at me with so much sincere happiness as well as worry in his eyes that it almost made me faint.

“I’m afraid that…” I felt my voice get weak and I looked down onto my lap. “I’m afraid that you will leave me alone.” I felt my eyes tear up and as a drop escaped Liam caught it on his fingertip. I looked up into his eyes. “I am afraid that even though I talk like I will manage it myself, I am scared of messing up and destroying a child’s childhood.” Liam squeezed my hand and then removed it from his cheek, kissing my palm. He held my hand tight and pressed it to his chest.

“You will be a perfect mother, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” He held my hand to his chest by one hand and the other he placed on the side of my face. “And I will be here as much as I can.” I started to cry really hard. “We can do this.”


I loved the story. The ending was so cute! :)
naaah it's fine I'm just going to be subscribed to it to save the wonderfulness lol
Naah I mean dislike very much because I ended the story ;)
Well I mean I would never hate you.... Unless I know you o.O lol