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Love Don't Die

Chapter 18

I couldn’t help grinning as I sped away from the awful place. We fucking did it. We made it out alive. I was so happy I wanted to scream. But when I looked toward Harry, I noticed he was quiet.

“Are you hurting? I could pull over and look at your wound,” I asked as I stared at the bullet hole in his jeans.

“No, I’m fine,” he stated blankly. I bit on my bottom lip, trying to think of something else to say. Why was he so blasé? We just escaped from death, and he was acting like he was already dead.

“What’s wrong, Harry?” He shrugged me off and stared out the window.

“Come on, Styles! I think after all we’ve been through you can talk to me.” He took a bullet for me for fuck’s sake. You’d think that counted for something.

He continued to sit in silence and I decided I should maybe let it go. But after a few minutes he spoke up.

“I just killed five men, Toni. Five. That’s equal to all the lads and me. I just killed a man and his four best mates. I’m sick with myself.”

My mouth felt dry. I never thought about it that way. I was acting all high and mighty all the while Harry was dying inside. I’m so stupid. Harry wouldn’t hurt a fly, nonetheless kill five people. How could I have put him in that situation? All Harry did was love, the poor fucking soul. And because of me he was forced to commit murder. Before I could think of something to say, he took my hand.

“But I’d do it all again. If it meant saving you, I’d kill ten men. A fucking army even. The thought of you dying alone and afraid…I couldn’t live with myself if I let that happen to you. I did what I had to Toni, because I love you. And quite frankly, that’s all that matters.” He squeezed my hand and when I looked into his eyes I saw pure love.

This boy…he was everything. I was so lucky I couldn’t fathom it. No one in my life had ever said anything like that to me. He was perfect.

“Oh, Harry…” I started to say but he stopped me.

“I know, baby, I know.” He kissed my hand and motioned his head back to the road. “Let’s just get somewhere safe, okay? Plus my leg is hurting like a bitch.” I laughed and took in the surroundings of where we were driving.

“I think we’re a ways away from anything at this point. Should I just pull over whenever I see a building?” I asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Hopefully we’re not greeted by cannibals in part two of this horror movie.” We both laughed and I looked over at him just so I could see him smile. But as I stared at those perfect dimples, I noticed something speeding towards us in the distance. I saw a red semi slam into the car before I blacked out.

---------

The smell of burning rubber revived me, and I slowly slipped out of the driver side window I was sticking out of. Glass sliced at my legs and arms as I wriggled free, and I gasped at the scene in front of me.

The car we were driving was completely smashed, and about 100 meters away the truck that hit us was idle. I squinted at something strange a few more meters in front of it, and realized it was the body of the driver. The gaping hole in the windshield of the semi meant I was right. I closed my eyes in dismay and turned around.

Harry.

I ran as fast as I could to the other side of the car, but my wounds and what felt like a broken rib were slowing me down. When I finally did get to the passenger door, it was blocked by one of the giant wheels of the truck. With all the strength I had in my weakened state I pushed the thing out of the way, and as soon as I saw Harry’s hand a rush of adrenaline helped me clear it completely.

There he was. Helpless. The car was smashed into his body, and blood and dirt was everywhere. His body was still in a seated position, and I dropped to my knees and held his face in my hands.

“Harry! Harry, say something! Please…” I cried as I tried to wake him up. I saw his chest move slightly and I looked into his eyes.

He opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t; it was filled with too much blood. Why couldn’t he move? I patted around his body and noticed something impaling his stomach. A part of the frame of the car had lodged itself straight into him.

I threw my hand to my mouth as I realized what was happening. He wasn’t going to make it. There was no way I could move him from the vehicle without ripping out half of his intestines with it. There was nothing I could do. I cried but tried not to let Harry see me.

“It’s okay, Harry. It’s going to be okay.” I wiped away the rubbish on his face and pushed back his hair. I needed to comfort him, make him feel safe. As I held his face, I saw his eyes were pleading with me.

He knew. He knew he was going to die.

“Does it hurt, baby?” I whispered as I tried to stop the tears from falling so fast. He coughed out some blood and I ripped off some of my shirt to clear his mouth. I didn’t know what else to do. But I couldn’t leave him. He was always there for me, and I needed to be there for him.

“I won’t leave you, Harry.” I told him as I grabbed his hand and rubbed on his knuckles. “I won’t let you die alone. Just like you wouldn’t let me.” My voice cracked and I started to shake. I felt his fingers move in my hand, and saw he was pointing to something.

He was gurgling but I couldn’t understand him. I looked in the direction his finger was pointing and that’s when I saw it. The gun.

“No, Harry…” I looked at him with tearful eyes and he squeezed my hand.

“P-p-p-please. T-toni.” He was struggling so hard to speak that I had to reach over and pick up the pistol. I held it in my hand and stared at it. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. It was bad enough I had to watch him die in front of me…I couldn’t kill him myself.

“T-t-t-toni.” I moved my eyes towards his again. He was crying, too, and I raised our clasps hands to wipe away his tears.

“Baby…” I was sobbing as I realized what I had to do. I couldn’t let him be in so much pain. I had to make the right decision, no matter how bad it would haunt me.

I raised the gun and switched off the safety. I held it to his temple as I slowly inhaled. My eyes were on his as I held our hands close to my heart. If it all possible, he looked happy. It took all I had in me to pull the trigger.

Quickly his hand was limp, and I watched as the color drained from his eyes. What were once a promising, shiny emerald were now a sad, muted moss green. I whimpered and slowly brought my lips to his, letting his hand fall out of mine. I held my forehead against his as I cried.

I finally forced myself to get up and walk away. Feelings rushed over me as I marched through the wreckage, but I shook them all away. Because through it all nothing else mattered. Nothing mattered by you.

I want to look back on this and remember the good times more than the bad. I don’t want my mind to be clouded by the times I hated you and wanted nothing more than to walk out of your life forever. I want to remember you for who you really are: the only person I ever loved. It took me awhile, but I see it now. What I’ve always felt for you was love, and even though you’re gone, that love will never fade. I never thanked you for what you did for me, but I hope you know. I hope you know how much you changed me. And I’ll never forget you…no matter how hard I try.

My foot stepped on the final piece of broken glass before I was free.

Notes

Thank you for reading my story.

Comments

@J_Hx
thank u for ur input

Awww so sad

ok no

just no

you're killing me smalls update!!! Please and thank you =]

If you don't update I think I'm going to die