My mind racing with crazy scenarios, I avoided Niall’s attempts to contact me all week. I made up excuse after excuse, from big exams to working late at my job in the athletic department. I know I should have been happy that he was trying to see me, but I was so nervous about the concert and what he thought of me that I couldn’t face him. He soon gave up, and I hadn’t received a text since Thursday. It was now Saturday, and I was afraid I had totally blown it with this guy, but with the help of my ever so nice roommate, I would be seeing him tonight at his concert.

Naomi was blow-drying her hair while I sat on the couch texting Kim. She was pissing her pants at the photo I just sent her of my outfit tonight. Naomi decided on our outfits and unfortunately her choices were tacky as fuck. She bought us both British flag t-shirts from Wildfox Couture, and gave me red shorts while she wore blue. We looked like preteen assholes who weren’t allowed to have mirrors in the house. I wanted to jump off a cliff. Not only did I have to go to this concert where Niall would see me in the front row AND backstage, but I had to look like a fucktard while it happened. I asked Kim what the quickest way to die was, but before I received her response Naomi emerged from her bathroom.

“Alright I’m ready! Do I look good enough for someone to ‘Rock Me’?” She laughed as I hid my eye roll. She had forced me to listen to One Direction all week, and I now knew every song by heart. Don’t get me wrong, I did love the music Niall and his friends made, but having to hear tone-deaf Naomi sing along made me to drown myself in the bathtub. I put on my best fake smile and nodded, and then we headed outside to my Malibu. The concert didn’t start for two hours, and I decided I needed a drink.

“Hey, uh, do you want to stop at the liquor store real quick? I mean, all music sounds better when you’re tipsy, right?” I was practically begging. Naomi looked at me funny for only a second, but then smiled and agreed. Thankfully, I always kept my handy-dandy hot-pink plastic flask in my glove compartment. Was it tacky to bring a flask to a concert filled with girls whose boobs still hadn’t developed? Probably, but I was already looking tawdry so I couldn’t give a single fuck.

We bought a bottle of dark cherry Grey Goose and a handle of peach schnapps – all thanks to my beautiful fake ID. I was turning 21 in 2 months, and it made me sad to think I had to throw away my most prized possession in the near future. We drove to the STAPLES Center and waited about three days to park. As we sat in the car, I opened the bottle of Grey Goose and downed half of it.

“Whoa, Charlie, I thought we were just getting tipsy?” Naomi asked me while she yanked the bottle out of my hands.

“I know but I had a big dinner so it’s going to take a lot to get me feeling good,” I lied. Truth was all I could manage to eat all day was a few Ritz crackers and a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese. I was sick to my stomach about having to see Niall after giving him the cold shoulder for so long. Naomi took a few swigs from the bottle while I poured the schnapps in my flask and hid it in my bra – one of the perks of having big boobs. Buying a plastic flask was one of the smartest purchases I had ever made because I could literally bring it anywhere undetected. Naomi shook her head at my alcoholism and we headed towards the gates.

While taking a look around at the people in line with us, I realized that we looked exactly like the girls with their mothers. I was already feeling the alcohol; otherwise I would have walked back to my car right then and there. I snapped a quick picture of the girls in line and sent it to Kim with the caption This is my Saturday night, and she responded with a bunch of laughing emoticons. We finally reached the gates and Naomi handed the unhappy looking attendant our tickets. She scanned them and then handed us our backstage passes. Yippee Ki Yay.

“The passes say we can go backstage after the show…damn! I wanted to meet them beforehand.” She frowned as I jumped up and down in my head. Seeing them after the concert meant I could most likely fake sick and leave Naomi to meeting them on her lonesome. I still hadn’t quite figured out how I was going to explain everything once we were backstage with the boys. I figured I could just stab myself beforehand. Maybe once I had a few more ounces of alcohol in me I would confess everything to Naomi. I looked around for the bathroom while Naomi dragged me towards the vendors.

“Charlie, look at that shirt! It’s SO cute!” She was talking about a light blue shirt with the band on the front and all the tour dates on the back. I had to say, Niall looked damn good on it, but I was not spending my money on a shirt when I could see the real thing.

“Um, you can buy it if you want, but then it’ll cover our matching outfits.” Like that would be a problem. She nodded in agreement and then dragged me towards the doors to find our seats. I guess I would venture off to the bathroom at a later time.

When Naomi said front row, she meant front fucking row. The stage was literally a foot in front of me. I cringed at the thought of Niall’s face – or any of their faces – once they saw me in the crowd. I was also cringing at the screams of all the twelve year olds, but that was another story. Fuck, I couldn’t handle walking all the way to the bathroom before I had a drink. I made sure that the coast was clear, and then pulled out my flask and took three huge gulps. Once I put it back in my bra, I saw some thirteen year old giving me a dirty look.

“Um, what do you think you’re doing? This is a family event so no alcohol allowed.” She had a high-pitch nasally voice and I wanted to sock her in her brace-face mouth.

“Listen you little bitch, you’re just jealous because I have coconuts while you’re stuck with mosquito bites for tits. And if you open your mouth again, I’m going to shove my fist down your throat. Got it?” I saw the life drain from her eyes as I glared into her soul. Naomi overheard and whipped me around so I was facing her.

“Charlie! What the fuck? You can’t go around threatening children!” She looked around nervously while I snorted.

“Please, it’s not like she’s going to say anything is she?” I said as I pointed to the girl who was now ten people away from us cowering with her friend. Naomi shook her head and took out her phone to type something. The lights began to dim around us. Some guy named Olly Murs came out as their opening act, and his music was catchy so I didn’t mind. As he announced his final song of the night, my stomach started to tingle. I either had to tell Naomi now, or tell her after the show. She’d be mad either way, but I was trying to figure out which way would make her not as mad. Olly finished his song and I wanted to hurl.

The venue went black as some announcer started a countdown for the band. I had ten seconds to decide if now was the time to tell Naomi. Nine. Would she be mad? Eight. Would she feel hurt? Seven. What if she would be happy? Six. I mean, I could get her a date with Liam or something. Five. But she does have Mike and he’s a sweetheart. Four. She said she liked Harry but I couldn’t do that to her. Three. She’d probably understand if I told her because she’s a really good friend. Two. I, on the other hand, am a shitty friend. One. FUCK!

“Come On, Come On,” the boys sang as they materialized onto the stage from below. The whole place filled with screams and cheers while the boys started their concert. I ducked my head as I saw them come towards us, and was hoping my god-awful outfit would disguise me. The alcohol was finally kicking in, however, and I couldn’t help but to dance and sing-a-long; discreetly as possible of course. I looked up every now again to make sure none of the boys were looking at me. Thankfully, due to all of the girls screaming and waving their hands in the boys’ faces, I was well-hidden. The boys performed a few songs from their first album and went off stage to change.

“Oh my God isn’t this amazing?” Naomi yelled to me over all the girls who were shrieking at the little movie playing on a screen on stage. I nodded my head and while she was watching the movie, I took another two swigs of my flask.

The boys reappeared on stage and Niall had his guitar with him. At that moment all I wanted to do was sit on his lap so he could serenade me. I quickly averted my eyes so he wouldn’t feel them burning into his chest. They started to play ‘Little Things’ and I swear to God about five girls next to me started bawling. I laughed at how pathetic my life was, and soon I couldn’t stop laughing. That ended, however, when Naomi kicked me in the shin and I wanted to cry like all the rest of the girls.

I knew Niall’s solo wasn’t for a while, so I began to sway back and forth and stare at the ceiling. When I looked back on stage my heart dropped to the floor. Staring at me while he sang his solo was that motherfucker Harry Styles. He had the slightest smirk on his face while mine read pure terror. He kept his eyes on me the entire time he was singing and I kept mine on him. Once Niall started to sing, I jerked my eyes to watch him and when I focused back on Harry his smile grew larger like the Grinch’s when he came up with his plan to destroy Christmas. I was fucked, I was fucking fucked and I had no fucking clue what the fuck to do. What I needed was some of Zayn’s weed but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

The boys finished the song all the while Harry stared at me. They transitioned right into ‘Moments’ and I tried to think of an escape. I could a) bash my head into the stage and bleed to death, b) strip down to my skivvies and hop onstage so security would have to take me away, or c) start a fight with one of these bitches so I’d have to be escorted out. Unfortunately, all these options meant Niall would see me so I decided on option d) drink the rest of my flask and hope to pass out. I whipped out my flask and didn’t stop drinking until there was nothing left to drink. I held down my vomit as I shakily put the container back down my bra. I hazily looked on stage as I did so, and Harry smiled on. I held up my middle finger and he winked. Fucking motherfuck I hated him.

The boys took another break, this time doing some onstage Twitter reads. Naomi grabbed my hand in excitement and I tried to stay standing. The first few tweets they read were from girls in the far back of the venue. A fucking monkey could have asked better questions than these cunts. How many times can someone ask “where’s your favorite place to perform?” or “what do you look for in a girl?” Oh, they love to perform in Hell while Hitler watches on and what they look for in a girl is one who masturbates to their posters in her room and who still doesn’t have hair growing on her vagina. Fucking idiots. As the next question popped up on the screen, Naomi gripped my hand even tighter, and let out a small shriek.

“Here’s my favorite one,” Harry said as he glanced my way. It was impossible for me to read the blurry words so I waited for Mr. Asshole Prick to read them to me.

“Are you guys dating anyone special lately?” He read in his deep voice. “This is from Naomi and Charlie in the front row, where you girls at?” I almost fainted as he read my name out loud. Niall looked utterly shocked and he scanned the crowd to find us. Fucking Naomi started jumping up and down and shoved our clasped hands in the air to draw attention. I bit my bottom lip as Niall and I locked eyes.

“Hello, ladies, and might I say, I love your matching outfits,” Harry said as he winked at us. Naomi gripped my hand even tighter, if possible. “I would say I’m single and ready to --”

Before he could finish his sentence, Louis interrupted him “You mean you’re trying to find a woman you can actually satisfy.” I busted out laughing at Louis’ boldness. He was going to be punished for that one by management later. The rest of the boys started laughing as Harry hit Louis with his microphone.

Zayn looked like he was going to speak, so I shot him an apologetic look. He looked understanding as he spoke, “Um, I’m not really seeing anyone in particular. Just dating around I guess.”

He whispered something to Liam when he was finished, and the precious boy smiled at me. “I’m a little heartbroken at the moment, but I know soon I’ll find the perfect girl. The audience let out a huge “aw.” Thank God these boys were sweet and forgiving. Well, that is except for Harry.

“Louis’ in love with Eleanor but I’m afraid I’ll have to kill him now,” Harry joked as he covered Louis’ mouth with his giant-ass hand. “What about you, Nialler?”

Niall looked at me and I wanted to cry. He seemed hurt and all I could do was mouth “I’m sorry.” He put on a fake-smile before he answered, “No one special for me. Are any of you ladies single?” Everyone started screaming and Niall continued to stare at me while he drank a sip of water. Talk about a slap in the face. While the boys transitioned into singing ‘One Thing,’ I made a mental note to kick the shit out of Harry Styles once we were backstage. I had completely fucked up and pretty soon Naomi, Niall, and probably everyone else was going to hate me because I was a lying sack of shit.