Visiting Hours
Day 12, Hour 56
Tom and Harry walked side-by-side through the parking lot. Their hands kept brushing against each other yet neither one of them were trying to stop it. A small smile poked at the corner of Harry’s lips as Tom’s hand slowly slipped into his own. Tom let out a quiet sigh of relief when Harry didn’t pull away from his gesture. They walked hand in hand to the car. They sang along to the radio and played eye spy just like every other day; like they hadn’t just been holding hands. The drive was fun and comfortable just like always.
“So am I cooking or ordering?” Tom yelled to Harry from the kitchen.
“Tom, you don’t cook…” Harry said sarcastically from his position on the sofa.
“You’re right what shall I order your majesty?”
“Um I could go for Chinese.”
“Well, then Chinese it is! I’ll call Boling’s. Pork fried rice and broccoli beef, right?”
“Aww you know my order, you’re such a gentleman.” Tom giggled. GIGGLED!
“I try.”
The two sat on the couch, rather closely, and sharing their food, and fighting over the last spring roll. After dinner Harry leaned into Tom’s chest as they started the second season of Dexter. Harry was praying to the heavens that Tom was ok with the closeness. Once again Harry fell asleep on the couch but only this time he had a sleeping Tom underneath him.
The two stayed in the same position all night without interruption; Harry lying in Tom’s arms and Tom falling asleep with a smile on his face.
Unknown feelings kept flooding through Tom’s body like a cold. He could feel it in his fingertips and the tip of his nose. He knew it was wrong but it just felt so good. He never noticed all of the times a smiled tugged at his lips when a lawyer at work mentioned Harry’s name or the way his heart skips a beat when Him and Harry made unexpected eye contact. He didn’t want to feel this way, not towards his client, his friend…best friend…his only friend. He stood in his shower with the water running over his head, thinking about what he was doing. “Is this ok? Will this end badly” These questions flooded his mind all day and night. The constant hand holding and cuddling didn’t help to ease his constant reservations. He knew what this feeling was but he didn’t want to say it out loud. This wasn’t love, not yet, but it is pretty damn close. With time Tom doesn’t know how much longer he will be able to keep himself PG.
Harry staid lay out on the couch thinking the same things Tom was thinking. He knew he was in touch with his feminine side, but to actually have…feelings for a man was something he had no idea he could be capable of. His mind raced with thousands of scenarios, mostly dirty scenarios, but scenarios none the less of a relationship with Tom. Some might call him crazy for falling for a man, falling for his lawyer, parole officer, friend, after only 2 weeks but something made this feel like 2 years. They woke up together, ate breakfast together, and went to bed together, everything; so that just naturally sped up the process. He knew this feeling was not a passing phase.
Harry didn’t know whether to be confused, scared, or excited about what was going on in his head. All he knew was that he had new feelings and should be thinking someway about them. He had urges to run up and kiss Tom but he didn’t think it appropriate. He wants to jump into his arms and never let go. He had never felt something like this before. He did love his fiancé, more than anything, but this felt different; better. He hates to say it out loud but it’s true. His feelings for Tom are new, and exciting, and absolutely heavenly. He knows Tom is gay because one time when they were talking about their past relationships, he accidently said “I loved him”. I Tom thought that Harry would be disgusted but Harry Just held him in his arms when Tom started crying about how his family didn’t except him.
Tom’s POV (flashback)~~
“Harry how on earth have you only been with one girl in your life?” I asked laughing a little.
“It’s true! I met Elizabeth my sophomore year and we instantly clicked.” I could see his eyes start to change as he smiled and played with his fingers. It was cute…
“She was my best friend. We did everything together and she was always there for me. One day things changed. My voice got deeper, her body changed and for some reason we went for it. It was amazing; we understood each other and knew exactly what the other needed. I proposed our sophomore year of university; our 5 year anniversary. She said yes only 4 months before her…um…you know… But anyway, enough about me, what about you Mr. Stud, who have you swooned?” I just looked at him with sad eyes for a while until I knocked myself out of it.
“Oh um well, I um was in love once. It was the most amazing time of my life. They made so happy and made me feel so warm all over my body. The only thing was that we had to hide because my dad didn’t approve of our relationship. But I Didn’t care because we were in love and he made me feel things I had never felt before.” My body froze and my mouth dropped. I didn’t realize what I had said until it was too late.
“Harry, I um pplease… please don’t hhate me I’m so sorry. I I I didin’t mmean tto say that. I” I couldn’t control the tears starting to form in my eyes.
“Tom Tom…Thomas! It’s ok, I don’t hate you. You were in love, that’s all I care about. I don’t care if it was a man, a woman, a dog… well maybe if it was a dog cause that would be some fucked up shit, but do you get my point? Now, tell me all about this lucky guy!” Harry said as he wiped the tears from my eyes. I smiled and nodded my head in silent gratitude.
“Well um his name was… His name was Finn and h-“
“Finn Harries?!?!?!” Harry said with a shocked expression
“Hahaha ya not many people knew he was gay; we liked to keep our lives on the down low, everyone loved Jack the most anyway… well except for e obviously.”
“Wow! How’d you meet?”
“Well he’s only about 4 months younger than me so we first met in year 11 at Harrodian (famous school in Southwest London). We got to know each other during our classes. The funny thing though was that I was actually only friends with Jack” I started smiling to myself thinking about the memory.
“Um this is embarrassing but one day I was hanging out at their house and um I had to use the bathroom. To be clear I had just turned 17 and the twins were about to in a few weeks. I was washing my hands and in comes Finn. I almost screamed bloody murder but he pinned me to the sink and kissed me. Oh goodness it sounds so awful when I say it out loud.” Harry just sat there laughing at me. I buried my hands in my lap because my cheeks were probably bright red by now.
“Ok go on you sex maniac.” Harry said trying to hold in his laughter.
“It was an amazing kiss but of course Jack had to come barging in wondering why I was taking so long and saw us. He just yelled “I knew it! Now give me back my best friend!” He started dragging me back to his room as Finn gave me one more kiss to finish our game of Super Mario Bros.”
“It was kind of weird at first, being best friends with one Harries while I was falling in love with the other, but soon it became routine. I would get a ride home with Jack and we would hang out at their house while Finn was at work after school. We would do the usual play video games, gossip about cute celebrities, Jack teasing me about my weird obsession for Benedict Cumberbatch, and pulling pranks Finn like cutting holes in his underwear but that was mainly for my benefit…” I winked at Harry. His mouth dropped and his face turned bright red. I couldn’t hold in my laughter.
“But anyways, I would do crazy stuff with Jack and when Finn got home at around 6, we would do some more crazy stuff. I’m just kidding! We would just watch movies while cuddled up in bed or help each other with Chemistry homework cause that shit was hard, while Jack worked on his Youtube videos. I remember one day back in year 12 we were studying for finals together and for every question I got right he would give me a kiss... I loved that boy so much, so so much.” Tears started falling from my eyes.
“Then why aren’t you too together anymore?” The dreaded question.
“One day, a few weeks after graduation, my dad um he um walked in on me and Finn um doing things to each other. Finn was on top of me when my f-father pulled his n-naked body off of mine and dragged him to the floor. H-he um he punched him and kicked him over and over again. I pulled on my boxers and ran to them. I tried to rip him off of him but he was too strong. All I could hear was Finn’s terrified screams. I managed to hit my father over the head with my history text book and knocked him out cold.” I couldn’t control my tears as the horrible memories came flooding back into my mind.
“I looked down at my baby my poor old baby. He had blood all over his face and bruises were forming on his chest and stomach. He was barely awake. I put his head in my lap and called Jack to come get us. I ran my fingers through his blood soaked hair, he had always liked that, to try and calm him down. Jack drove us to the hospital and I never left his side for a week until we could take him home. Um uh… one day 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave for Cambridge; yeah I made it in, I didn’t think I would but I did. Finn helped me study every single night either in person or phone call and skype. He was gonna go there too; we were supposed to go together. I woke up September first with a note from my dad left for me. It said “I’m out to take care of some business don’t fuck any faggots!” I crumpled up the paper and threw it away. About an hour later, I got a text from Finn saying “I’m sorry and don’t forget that I love you.” I tried calling him but he never picked up. I ran to his house and…a-and when I got their Jack and Finn were gone. Their clothes were packed up and the lizards were gone. I f-found a note stuck to Finn’s door saying“remember that I love you forever and always. I already miss you.” I fell to the ground and cried for hours hoping that this was a joke. I walked home and my dad was waiting in my room with all of my pictures with Finn. He started ripping them right in front of me. I screamed and all he did was laugh at me, but what he didn’t know was that I had a separate photo album with our ‘private’ pictures in them. I still have it, but I don’t look at it though, it just makes me sad. I had to go to Cambridge all by myself. We were gonna share rooms you know. I had a connection and I was gonna surprise him when we got there.” I felt Harry’s hands rub slow circles on my back.
“I still watch Jack's Youtube videos to try and guess where they are but every time I think i know, they have moved again. Whenever Finn is in a video I can't do anything but cry and cry when I hear his voice. It still sounds the same. it's been 4 years and I still can't let go of him. Sometimes i'll hear things in the videos that I think were messages to me but who can be certain. Like this one time the two of them were answering fan questions and one girl asked Finn if he was dating anyone. He said "yes" which completely broke my heart. I almost turned off the video but a few seconds later he looked into the camera and said, "but I haven't seen them in a long time." You could actually see him wipe a tear from his eye before Jack used a jump cut to the next question. I watch that clip all the time. It gives me hope. It makes me think that he hasn't completely forgotten about me. But I could be making this all up in my head; I mean he could be talking about someone completely different. It's... I just..." Tears furiously ran down me cheeks.
"We were together for 3 years and then he was gone. I thought that we were gonna be together forever but I was wrong. I-I-I-I-just miss h-him so much and I I…” I broke down in Harrys arms.
“Shh shhh, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.It’ll be ok…”
Harry remembered that night like it was yesterday. He knew he would never be like Finn. He knew that Tom would never love him like he loved Finn. He knew that he could never love Tom like Finn had but he knew he could make Tom happy. Not forget about what he had with Finn, that wasn’t the plan, just to put aside the memories until he wasn’t so sad.
“So am I cooking or ordering?” Tom yelled to Harry from the kitchen.
“Tom, you don’t cook…” Harry said sarcastically from his position on the sofa.
“You’re right what shall I order your majesty?”
“Um I could go for Chinese.”
“Well, then Chinese it is! I’ll call Boling’s. Pork fried rice and broccoli beef, right?”
“Aww you know my order, you’re such a gentleman.” Tom giggled. GIGGLED!
“I try.”
The two sat on the couch, rather closely, and sharing their food, and fighting over the last spring roll. After dinner Harry leaned into Tom’s chest as they started the second season of Dexter. Harry was praying to the heavens that Tom was ok with the closeness. Once again Harry fell asleep on the couch but only this time he had a sleeping Tom underneath him.
The two stayed in the same position all night without interruption; Harry lying in Tom’s arms and Tom falling asleep with a smile on his face.
Unknown feelings kept flooding through Tom’s body like a cold. He could feel it in his fingertips and the tip of his nose. He knew it was wrong but it just felt so good. He never noticed all of the times a smiled tugged at his lips when a lawyer at work mentioned Harry’s name or the way his heart skips a beat when Him and Harry made unexpected eye contact. He didn’t want to feel this way, not towards his client, his friend…best friend…his only friend. He stood in his shower with the water running over his head, thinking about what he was doing. “Is this ok? Will this end badly” These questions flooded his mind all day and night. The constant hand holding and cuddling didn’t help to ease his constant reservations. He knew what this feeling was but he didn’t want to say it out loud. This wasn’t love, not yet, but it is pretty damn close. With time Tom doesn’t know how much longer he will be able to keep himself PG.
Harry staid lay out on the couch thinking the same things Tom was thinking. He knew he was in touch with his feminine side, but to actually have…feelings for a man was something he had no idea he could be capable of. His mind raced with thousands of scenarios, mostly dirty scenarios, but scenarios none the less of a relationship with Tom. Some might call him crazy for falling for a man, falling for his lawyer, parole officer, friend, after only 2 weeks but something made this feel like 2 years. They woke up together, ate breakfast together, and went to bed together, everything; so that just naturally sped up the process. He knew this feeling was not a passing phase.
Harry didn’t know whether to be confused, scared, or excited about what was going on in his head. All he knew was that he had new feelings and should be thinking someway about them. He had urges to run up and kiss Tom but he didn’t think it appropriate. He wants to jump into his arms and never let go. He had never felt something like this before. He did love his fiancé, more than anything, but this felt different; better. He hates to say it out loud but it’s true. His feelings for Tom are new, and exciting, and absolutely heavenly. He knows Tom is gay because one time when they were talking about their past relationships, he accidently said “I loved him”. I Tom thought that Harry would be disgusted but Harry Just held him in his arms when Tom started crying about how his family didn’t except him.
Tom’s POV (flashback)~~
“Harry how on earth have you only been with one girl in your life?” I asked laughing a little.
“It’s true! I met Elizabeth my sophomore year and we instantly clicked.” I could see his eyes start to change as he smiled and played with his fingers. It was cute…
“She was my best friend. We did everything together and she was always there for me. One day things changed. My voice got deeper, her body changed and for some reason we went for it. It was amazing; we understood each other and knew exactly what the other needed. I proposed our sophomore year of university; our 5 year anniversary. She said yes only 4 months before her…um…you know… But anyway, enough about me, what about you Mr. Stud, who have you swooned?” I just looked at him with sad eyes for a while until I knocked myself out of it.
“Oh um well, I um was in love once. It was the most amazing time of my life. They made so happy and made me feel so warm all over my body. The only thing was that we had to hide because my dad didn’t approve of our relationship. But I Didn’t care because we were in love and he made me feel things I had never felt before.” My body froze and my mouth dropped. I didn’t realize what I had said until it was too late.
“Harry, I um pplease… please don’t hhate me I’m so sorry. I I I didin’t mmean tto say that. I” I couldn’t control the tears starting to form in my eyes.
“Tom Tom…Thomas! It’s ok, I don’t hate you. You were in love, that’s all I care about. I don’t care if it was a man, a woman, a dog… well maybe if it was a dog cause that would be some fucked up shit, but do you get my point? Now, tell me all about this lucky guy!” Harry said as he wiped the tears from my eyes. I smiled and nodded my head in silent gratitude.
“Well um his name was… His name was Finn and h-“
“Finn Harries?!?!?!” Harry said with a shocked expression
“Hahaha ya not many people knew he was gay; we liked to keep our lives on the down low, everyone loved Jack the most anyway… well except for e obviously.”
“Wow! How’d you meet?”
“Well he’s only about 4 months younger than me so we first met in year 11 at Harrodian (famous school in Southwest London). We got to know each other during our classes. The funny thing though was that I was actually only friends with Jack” I started smiling to myself thinking about the memory.
“Um this is embarrassing but one day I was hanging out at their house and um I had to use the bathroom. To be clear I had just turned 17 and the twins were about to in a few weeks. I was washing my hands and in comes Finn. I almost screamed bloody murder but he pinned me to the sink and kissed me. Oh goodness it sounds so awful when I say it out loud.” Harry just sat there laughing at me. I buried my hands in my lap because my cheeks were probably bright red by now.
“Ok go on you sex maniac.” Harry said trying to hold in his laughter.
“It was an amazing kiss but of course Jack had to come barging in wondering why I was taking so long and saw us. He just yelled “I knew it! Now give me back my best friend!” He started dragging me back to his room as Finn gave me one more kiss to finish our game of Super Mario Bros.”
“It was kind of weird at first, being best friends with one Harries while I was falling in love with the other, but soon it became routine. I would get a ride home with Jack and we would hang out at their house while Finn was at work after school. We would do the usual play video games, gossip about cute celebrities, Jack teasing me about my weird obsession for Benedict Cumberbatch, and pulling pranks Finn like cutting holes in his underwear but that was mainly for my benefit…” I winked at Harry. His mouth dropped and his face turned bright red. I couldn’t hold in my laughter.
“But anyways, I would do crazy stuff with Jack and when Finn got home at around 6, we would do some more crazy stuff. I’m just kidding! We would just watch movies while cuddled up in bed or help each other with Chemistry homework cause that shit was hard, while Jack worked on his Youtube videos. I remember one day back in year 12 we were studying for finals together and for every question I got right he would give me a kiss... I loved that boy so much, so so much.” Tears started falling from my eyes.
“Then why aren’t you too together anymore?” The dreaded question.
“One day, a few weeks after graduation, my dad um he um walked in on me and Finn um doing things to each other. Finn was on top of me when my f-father pulled his n-naked body off of mine and dragged him to the floor. H-he um he punched him and kicked him over and over again. I pulled on my boxers and ran to them. I tried to rip him off of him but he was too strong. All I could hear was Finn’s terrified screams. I managed to hit my father over the head with my history text book and knocked him out cold.” I couldn’t control my tears as the horrible memories came flooding back into my mind.
“I looked down at my baby my poor old baby. He had blood all over his face and bruises were forming on his chest and stomach. He was barely awake. I put his head in my lap and called Jack to come get us. I ran my fingers through his blood soaked hair, he had always liked that, to try and calm him down. Jack drove us to the hospital and I never left his side for a week until we could take him home. Um uh… one day 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave for Cambridge; yeah I made it in, I didn’t think I would but I did. Finn helped me study every single night either in person or phone call and skype. He was gonna go there too; we were supposed to go together. I woke up September first with a note from my dad left for me. It said “I’m out to take care of some business don’t fuck any faggots!” I crumpled up the paper and threw it away. About an hour later, I got a text from Finn saying “I’m sorry and don’t forget that I love you.” I tried calling him but he never picked up. I ran to his house and…a-and when I got their Jack and Finn were gone. Their clothes were packed up and the lizards were gone. I f-found a note stuck to Finn’s door saying“remember that I love you forever and always. I already miss you.” I fell to the ground and cried for hours hoping that this was a joke. I walked home and my dad was waiting in my room with all of my pictures with Finn. He started ripping them right in front of me. I screamed and all he did was laugh at me, but what he didn’t know was that I had a separate photo album with our ‘private’ pictures in them. I still have it, but I don’t look at it though, it just makes me sad. I had to go to Cambridge all by myself. We were gonna share rooms you know. I had a connection and I was gonna surprise him when we got there.” I felt Harry’s hands rub slow circles on my back.
“I still watch Jack's Youtube videos to try and guess where they are but every time I think i know, they have moved again. Whenever Finn is in a video I can't do anything but cry and cry when I hear his voice. It still sounds the same. it's been 4 years and I still can't let go of him. Sometimes i'll hear things in the videos that I think were messages to me but who can be certain. Like this one time the two of them were answering fan questions and one girl asked Finn if he was dating anyone. He said "yes" which completely broke my heart. I almost turned off the video but a few seconds later he looked into the camera and said, "but I haven't seen them in a long time." You could actually see him wipe a tear from his eye before Jack used a jump cut to the next question. I watch that clip all the time. It gives me hope. It makes me think that he hasn't completely forgotten about me. But I could be making this all up in my head; I mean he could be talking about someone completely different. It's... I just..." Tears furiously ran down me cheeks.
"We were together for 3 years and then he was gone. I thought that we were gonna be together forever but I was wrong. I-I-I-I-just miss h-him so much and I I…” I broke down in Harrys arms.
“Shh shhh, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.It’ll be ok…”
Harry remembered that night like it was yesterday. He knew he would never be like Finn. He knew that Tom would never love him like he loved Finn. He knew that he could never love Tom like Finn had but he knew he could make Tom happy. Not forget about what he had with Finn, that wasn’t the plan, just to put aside the memories until he wasn’t so sad.
I really hope you liked this chapter, it took me forever to write.I'm so sorry for making this so sad but that's what I do, I write tragedies. Finn may or may not come back into the story, you're just gonna have to wait and see what happens. Zayn will be back in the next chapter don't worry I just wanted to create a story line for Tom so he isn't just a tiny little character.
I would really like your feedback on how i'm doing so don't forget to comment down below and share this story with your friends, I wanna see those views go UP!!!!!!!!
Bye for now Lovelies!
Notes
First off @Love_Life3 and @Missesonedirection94 are maybe the nicest girls ever! No one has ever made me feel more proud of my writing than these two amazing ladies. Thank you so much for believing in my writing and sticking with me. Love you guys so much and I don't even know you! LOL!!
but anyways, back to the story at hand...I really hope you liked this chapter, it took me forever to write.I'm so sorry for making this so sad but that's what I do, I write tragedies. Finn may or may not come back into the story, you're just gonna have to wait and see what happens. Zayn will be back in the next chapter don't worry I just wanted to create a story line for Tom so he isn't just a tiny little character.
I would really like your feedback on how i'm doing so don't forget to comment down below and please please please share this story with your friends, I wanna see those views go UP!!!!!!!!
Bye for now Lovelies!
Lauyn :)
4/23/15