My body is a cage, that keeps me from dancing with the one i love

Niall’s POV

I feel so dirty. I feel so used. The pain in my chest is nothing compared to that. I am back under the shower. Washing my pain away. Washing the dirty feelings away. However the biggest pain now is the fact that I am confused. I hate Darryl. He is an asshole! But why am I having a big boner, thinking about him. I feel tinkling in my body when I think about him smacking my ass and the gentle touch he gave me. Am I falling for the one I hate?! What must I do? Who must I tell? I cannot tell anyone. They do not even know I am gay.
After some thinking and such, I quickly dry myself and get into my cloths. I have no spare boxer anymore, so I only wear my sweatpants. Also a t-shirt, slim fit. I fill his sports bag with the dirty laundry. uickly gets I rush to the pub, at the end of the street. Lucky Darryl and his buddies are not here.

At the pub I see Harry and Louis outside. They are smoking a cigarette. I quit smoking a few months ago and it is pretty good, but still miss it from time to time. Both boys are surprised at the delay I caused and both have a big question mark in their eyes.
“What was the hold up, Niall?” Louis asks blowing out the smoke. My heart froze for a second. In my head I saw the horror that happened not too long ago in the shower. I quickly put on my serious face and said: “You know. Just as always, the first in, the last out. Captain’s duty.” I add a smile to it, just to fake the truth even more. The boys know I am always the one that showers the longest. So they believe me and suggest we enter the pub for a few drinks. I agree and we walk inside.

Inside the party is already started. All the lads are having a drink. Some are singing, some are playing cards and a few are chatting up with some girls in the back of the pub. When I walk in I get a friendly nod from Pete, the bartender. Wicked guy. Hardcore Chelsea fan. But is also just a pub owner. He likes the fact that I always brings the team to the pub after the match. I walks to the bar.
“Afternoon Niall, you are late as usual.” Pete says with a cynical tone. I just smile sarcastic: “Ai, f*ck you too, mate.” We both have to laugh for a short while. I order a beer and join the bar next to Liam and Harry. They are chatting about last night. We went out to a club. Did some dancing, drank a few drinks and had a lot of fun. Just as normally Harry and Louis were the chick magnets.
“I’m sure I kissed three girls and have two phone numbers to answer,” Harry says. Louis, from the other side of the group answers back: “Only two numbers? I have 4 to answer.” He has a big macho smile on his face. Harry points his finger to his way and shouts: “Just piss off with your phone numbers. You cannot even remember what you did without the photo’s Zayn made last night.” He ends with a big smile to tease Louis. They both have to laugh.
I turn to Zayn, remembering he had his side of luck with a girl yesterday. He is one of the guys that never got lucky on that part. “How about your phone number, Zayn? You were flirting with that black headed girl.” Zayn starts blushing instantly. But it is with a smile and he answers kinda happy: “Yeah. Her name is Melissa. We already texted a few messages. I meet her tomorrow eve to have some fun.” I smile to my buddy and be happy for him. Then he asks to me about yesterday. I smile short. “No luck for me yesterday mate.”

Later on, Harry and Louis are going outside with some others to have another smoke. I now sit at the bar with Liam and Zayn on both sides. Liam know about me being gay. Liam and I are best mates. We have no secrets for each other. Zayn notice things very fast, and whispers towards me: “Ni, I have a feeling and I am not sure if I am true.” Liam couldn’t hear it, but I say in almost quite: “What’s it about?” Zayn look around himself and quietly suggests to talk about it somewhere else. We suggest we do it at the end of the afternoon when most of them are gone.

At an hour or so most mates are gone. I sit at the bar with Liam, Zayn, Harry and Louis. My 5 best mates and which we share one big house with. I have this feeling I know what Zayn wants to talk about. Me being gay. Zayn sees and knows these things. But I’m afraid of Harry and Louis. Their opinion is very important to me. At that moment both Harry and Louis decide to go home. They pay the bill for their own drinks and say to go home to work on their school assignment.

Zayn’s POV

After showering I am done quick and tell the boys to seen them later in the pub. I walk outside and check my phone. Yesterday I met a very cute girl at the club, Melissa. She gave me her phone number and before the match I send her a message.

Me before the match:
Hey Melissa, I enjoyed our dance yesterday. Did you got home safe? xx

I finished with a smiley.
Now I check my phone and see that I have a new message, it’s from Melissa:
Hey handsome. All safe! I really liked the dance. Did you got home safe too? You were a bit boozed. xx
I smile when I read her message. I reply immediately:
Haha, was it that obvious? We got home safe, well kinda. Haha. I like to tell you that. xx
I decide to keep it like that. A bit mysterious.
I walk further towards the pub and before I enter, I get another message:
Haha, Okay I bite. You want to meet up? Tomorrow eve? Xx
I have big smile. And kinda excited like a little child. Instantly I reply again:
Sorry for that [shy smiley] Tomorrow is great. Have a drink at Randy’s? xx
Randy’s is a safe bistro. Just for chilling and pretty popular.
I wait outside the pub and I get a very fast reply of Melissa:
Randy’s is great. See you later handsome. How did your football match go? Xx
This time I decide to leave it for this and head inside. I will reply later. I don’t want to waste the time with my friends.
I go inside and order a drink at the bar.

A while later Niall enters. Late as always. He has that a lot lately. And he has those looks in his face. Somewhere I have this feeling he is changing something. Just like yesterday. He chatted with multiple girls, but no action. Some dancing but that’s all. I strongly believe he is gay. But how do I ask him something like that?

Another moment later, Me, Liam and Niall are the only three left in the pub. Harry and Louis just left home.
Liam stands up and says he’s going to take a leak at the toilette. This must be my chance to ask Niall about his sexuality. I hope he doesn’t freak.

Niall turns to me and asks: “What is that feeling you have? What you want to ask?” I look down to the floor and catch up some courage. With my serious look, I make Niall’s smile go into serious as well and I ask the question: “Niall sorry to burst to the point.. I have this question… Are you gay?”

Nial’s POV

Zayn makes his serious look and asks me: “Niall sorry to burst to the point.. I have this question… Are you gay?” I swallow once. WTF? Where did this come from? Not that it is not true, but did he notice and how did he?! Do more people notice? Zayn has these kind of feelings a lot.Stuttering I ask him: “H…H…how…w.. why do you think that?” Zayn keeps his serious look and goes straight to another point: “I am right, am I?” I cannot evade this. I must come clean and I decide to look down to the bar. Slowly I nod my head to confirm. A small tear wets my cheek. “Are you mad?” I ask for forgiveness. Zayn’s face goes from serious to flabbergasted: “Mad?! Hell no mate!” He puts his arm around me and says: “As long as you remember I am straight, we have no problems.”
O MY GOD!!! What a relieve. I thought hell would break, but this is great. Another best friend to open up to. But to Harry and Louis it has to stay a secret. “Zayn, you are the second person I told this. Liam knows. But Harry and Louis don’t. And I like to keep it like that.” I ask in a small panic. Zayn smiles and nods. “I understand mate. But don’t keep it secret to long. It will probably do you no good.” I smile and nod too. I am glad with my friends and their understanding.
That afternoon I told Liam that Zayn knows the same now. We have a lot of fun that afternoon and I totally forgot about all shit that happened in the shower.

Notes