Niall's P.O.V

"I wanna be last, yeah.
Baby, let me be your,
Let me be your last first kiss.
I wanna be first, yeah,
Wanna be the first to take it all the way like this."

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I took it out as I continued to sing the chorus. It killed me everytime we sang this song, it just brought back memories to the night I asked Emma to be my girlfriend.

I glanced down at my phone and my eyes practically bulged out of my head when I saw who was calling. Fuck, I couldn't just answer it on stage in the middle of a song, in front of thousands of people. I really didn't know if I wanted to talk to her. It would just hurt too much. I came to a decision earlier that day. I was going to let Emma go. She's clearly moved on with this Seth guy. It kills me to think this way, but it's true. I'm not good for her. I can't be there for her everyday, the way this guy can. I'll constantly be on the road, and I think it's pretty obvious how well we handle the long distance thing.

It's all my fault too. I was the one who fucked us up from the beginning. If I never got drunk that night, if I had just listened to Liam, none of this would have happened. We could potentially be so happy right now. Maybe she would have come on tour with me this summer. That would have been amazing. But no, I had to get obliterated and cheat on her. That just proves even more that I'm not good for her. She deserves to be happy and maybe this new guy is the answer.

When the show ended the guys and I all ran off the stage, sweating bullets. I immediately grabbed a water bottle and watched as Tara ran straight in to Liam's waiting arms. She drove out here this morning since we're in New Jersey. I can't help but think that Emma might have come if we were dating still. We were all on our way back to the hotel when Tara's phone went off. She answered with a giggle as Liam kissed her neck. I held in the urge to gag and closed my eyes since I was exhausted. I tried to zone out Tara's conversation but it's pretty hard with how loud her voice is.

"Wait what happened?" She asked concerned. "Jen, slow down, what's wrong with Emma?"
That got my attention, my eyes flew open and my head snapped back in Tara's direction. I coudn't hear the other side of the conversation but it was driving me insane with the look on Tara's face, and then she began to tear. What the fuck was going on!? Was Emma okay? Was she hurt? I was about to freak out if I didn't get some answers. "Oh my god! I'm going to call her...okay...let me know if theres any knews...Yeah, Love you, bye." She hung up and began dialing a new number franctically.

"What the hell is going on!?" I shouted at her frustratedly. Liam glared at me for speaking to her that way but I didn't give a fuck, Emma could be hurt.

"It's- it's Emma." She shook her head and cried as she held the phone to her ear. It felt like my heart stopped, I was literally going psychotic being in the dark.

The call went to voicemail and Tara hung up and looked at me. "Her grandma died." Oh no. She called me and I didn't fucking answer. I should have ran off stage and taken her call. My heart broke, not only for Emma, but because I really took a liking to Nancy. I had hoped to get to visit her again sometime with Emma. It was nice meeting her family, especially someone who she admired so much, I felt honored that she would introduce me. She was probably crushed right now. "Emma ran off somewhere and no one can find her. She won't answer her phone." Tara informed me. I felt like the worlds biggest jerk, she had called me and I didn't answer. I nodded my head absently and once we reached the hotel I bolted up to mine and Louis room. I locked myself in the bathroom and called her back. I had to know if she would answer, I honestly didn't think she would. So I was in for the biggest shock of the night when heart breaking sobs sounded from the other end. It literally killed me to hear her in so much pain.

"Niall," She croaked and a new wave of cries came.

"Emma, it's okay baby, shh. It's going to be okay." I tried to soothe her. I never wanted her to cry, which is ironic because I'm usually the one to cause her tears. I think this was the first time she's cried to me, and I wasn't the reason.

"I - I ca- can't" She sobbed. "She's gone." That just broke my heart even more. "I need you Niall." She squeaked, so low, I almost didn't catch it. But I did, and despite the situation, I was overjoyed to know that she needed me. She wanted me with her. She wasn't answering anyones calls except mine, not even her boyfriends. "Will you come to the funeral?" She asked me and I felt a pain in my chest at how broken she sounded.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything. I'm here for you." We had one more show in New Jersey before we were off for two days. Then we were supposed to fly to Miami, but I didn't care.If she wanted me to stay longer I would be there. I'd make management reschedule our Miami shows, and I knew the boys would back me up.

She cried to me for a while longer, as I just cooed soft words, comforting her. Eventually her sobs eased down, though they were still there just less violent. I got her to give me her location and I informed Tara that she was safe and still in the hospital. Emma stayed on the phone with me for hours, even if we weren't talking she would just cry to me and I would be there for her. Someone, I think Jen, came and helped her home and in bed, all the while we remained on the phone. As exhausted as I was, I wouldn't dare hang up.
"Niall?" She croaked after a couple of minutes of silence, other then her whimpers and sniffles.

"I'm still here," I told her with a light smile.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You don't have to thank me." I assured. I would do anything for her, and this was nothing compared to the lengths I would go to keep her happy.

"I think I'm gonna go to sleep." She mumbled sleepily. "You should too, I'm sorry for keeping you up, that wasn't fair."

"Don't be silly, I wasn't tired anyway." I lied, but she didn't need to know that.
She giggled slightly, it was small but it was there and it was like music to my ears. "Sure you weren't. You should go to sleep now."

"Are you sure your okay? I'll stay on until your asleep."

"No, I'm about to pass out anyway, just get some rest."

"Okay," I said hesitantly.

"Goodnight Niall, thank you." She whispered.

"Course, I'll talk to you tomorrow, and I'll see you in two days. Sweet Dreams love, just call if you need, I'm here."

She mumbled an agreement and we hung up. To be honest it was hard to fall asleep at first, wondering if she were okay. Eventually darkness took over.

The next day I called her again, and she talked a little more, though there was still plenty of crying. She gave me the funeral information. The wake was the next day in a funeral parlor near her town. The boys and I were all going. Tara had driven back first thing in the morning, Liam was upset but he understood. That night we played our last show in Jersey. I was worried about her the whole time, up until I fell asleep.

Finally it was the day that I was going to see her again. I wore black slacks, a dark grey button up shirt and a black blazer. It was very uncomfortable since it was so hot out. But it would be disrespectful to wear anything else, especially considering the class of Emma's family. To be honest I was freaking out about meeting them. I prayed that her dad wouldn't be the intimidating type. I also prayed that she wouldn't be all over her boyfriend, although I knew she was probably going to take comfort in him. I just held on to the thought that she only wanted to talk to me the other night. Not even her boyfriend, only me. It gave me an ounce of hope.

We arrived at the wake at five o'clock. The place was packed with people. I'm sure Nancy had many friends, but I also could tell that many of the people were business associated. There were also a lot of teenagers, probably friends of Emma and Bella.
We had to wait on a long line to see the casket and pay our respects to the family. I knew Emma was up there and I was anxious waiting. All of the teenage girls, mostly around Bella's age, were fan girling like crazy. Luckily Paul was with us, and he held any girl back who tried to jump at us. We weren't giving autographs, it would be way to disrespectful at a funeral. Most of the girls figured that and just took photos or giggled from afar. I honestly didn't even think of the commotion we would cause and I felt kind of bad. I just prayed that no one would tweet, resulting in a mob of girls outside.

It was about an hour later when we finally reached the front of the room. I felt like my legs were going to fall off from standing. I purposely avoided looking at the casket because I've never done well at funerals. The dead bodies always freaked me out, I didn't need to pass out. I recognized Bella, Emma's sister standing next to a man and a women, I'm assuming their parents. The man had an arm wrapped around his wife and Bella, comforting them as people approached them. But where was Emma? Shouldn't she be there? I looked around the room of people. Some were taking seats in the large room to attend the mass. Others were quietly socializing, or looking at the photo collages of Nancy's life. When it was our turn next Bella spotted us, her sad and reddened face lit up. It made me happy that we could cheer her up a bit. She squeezed me in a hug and brought me over to her parents.

"Mom, dad, this is Niall. You know Emma's Niall." She wiggled her eyebrows and then just ditched me, going to hug the other boys. I stood there awkwardly silently cursing Bella for leaving me.

"Um, it's very nice to meet you, though I wish it were on better circumstances. I am so sorry for your loss." I said respectfully.

"Joseph Sarrentina." Her father said sternly holding out his hand, I shook it and dam did he have a strong grip. I tried not to show how intimidated I was, I mean, he's like 6'2 and full of muscle.

"Don't scare him Joe." His wife scolded and turned to me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Niall." She smiled, through her teary eyes I could see it was genuine. I now knew where Emma got her good looks from, her mom was a milf. I blocked that thought out, knowing Emma would beat me.

"Do you know where Emma is?" I asked. They both stiffened and I wanted to punch myself for probably crossing a line. Luckily, the other boys came over in that moment, and introduced them selves, giving their grief's. I looked around the room once more and couldn't find her anywhere. Was she in the bathroom? No because her parents would not have reacted that way.

I noticed that fucker Seth, laughing with a group of men. Was he not even concerned with his girlfriends where abouts? She was probably hiding alone somewhere, hysterically crying. It made me so angry that he wasn't trying to be there for her. I pulled Bella over to the side slightly. I needed to see if she knew anything.

"I don't know where she went. She just couldn't handle it. I think seeing grandma in the casket and everyone apologizing was just too overwhelming. My dad gave her his car keys and she took off." Bella told me. I sighed, I just wanted to be there for her.

I walked towards the back of the funeral parlor, needing to get away from the crowd. I found a door that led to a balcony. It peered over the water. No one was out here other than an older man, smoking a cigar.

I called her and she didn't answer. I sighed, just wanting to know where she was. I leaned against the railing taking in the smell of salt water. It really was beautiful there, especially in that moment, the sunset creating the most amazing landscape. I'm sure Emma would love it.

Wait a minute. Sunset.

“I like when the sky turns pink. It reminds me of my grandma. I used to sit with her when I was little and we would watch the sunset in her backyard. She lives on the beach so it was almost as beautiful as this. It always mesmerized me. When ever I was in a bad mood or having a bad day my mom would drop me off at my grandmas to cheer me up and that’s what we did.” Emma told me as she gazed out at the sky.

“She seems like she’s really special to you.” I said.
“Yeah she is. She was diagnosed with breast cancer recently. So it's been hard. Especially since I'm away at school.”
“I’m so sorry Em.” I said pulling her closer and kissing the top of her head. I loved having her in my arms, it was the best feeling.
“It’s okay. She told me to always think of her when the sky turns pink, and she will always be with me. I'm her favorite you know.” She smiled looking breathtakingly beautiful.
“I bet you are. She seems great.”
“She is.” She sighed, leaning further in to me.

I knew where she was.

I ran back inside and asked Bella for directions. I probably looked like a madman as I raced through the crowd and out the doors. I had our driver take me where I needed to go.

We pulled up to a fairly large sized home, it had a warm and homey feel to it and was right on the water as Emma described. There was a black Rolls Royce parked in the driveway, and I knew that must have been Emma's dad's car. I hopped out, telling the driver he could leave, so the other lads wouldn't be stranded.

I jogged around the back of the house as I took my jacket off and rolled the sleeves up. It was way too hot for that outfit. I knew Emma wouldn't be in the house, so I didn't bother ringing the bell. Plus she probably wouldn't answer if she was.

There was a small beach over looking the bay, it was beautiful. But then something else caught my sight. There she was, sitting in the sand, her knees were bent and her arms were crossed over them as she gazed at the sky. Her gorgeous brown waves were blowing in the wind. She wore a black lacey dress. In all, she looked like a goddess. How I ever managed to get her, I'll never know. I took a took a deep breath, finding confidence, before I slowly approached her.

Notes