I'm infuriated. I walked right up to him and smacked him as hard as I could. He touched his now red cheek? "Did you just slap me!?"

"Now why would I slap the sweet innocent Harry Styles? Of course I slapped you you jerk! I did it once and I sure as hell can do it again!"

"Slapping me isn't going to solve anything love." He gave me that devilish grin.

"Fine." I kneed him in the groin causing him to fall onto the grass.

"You know what sucks Harry? You think you "played" me but, who ended up losing? I mean what did I lose? You're right you saved me from a lot but you didn't appreciate what I did. What did you let go? A girl that would go out of her way just to please you and someone that rode with you through thick and thin. A girl who loved you regardless of your flaws. And trust me there was a lot! You can easily be replaced, same for me. Good luck finding a girl who put up with you like I did. Sorry, you played your damn self!"

I'm still looking down at him out of breath from that whole ranting off. He's looking down at the grass. "You gave me no other choice Riley!"

"A choice? What choice!?"

All of a sudden I was down on the grown. Stomach up, eyes wide open, and a Harry hovering over me.

"At the hospital you told me to leave. I thought you didn't want me anymore."

"I never said I didn't want you!"

"Shut up I'm not done!"

I silenced myself.

"You told me to leave. It got me thinking. With me you're always running into danger. I don't want you to be scared anymore and with me you always will be."

"But you saved me."

I felt tear drops falling on my face. They weren't mine. They were Harry's.

"You know what sucks Riley? The other day I realized how it's so sad to think that you know nothing will be the same after your first love, because with your first love, nothing was in you head. There wasn't the thought of someone hurting you and everything was just so sweet and pure and it's just such a lovely relationship and you're like a little kid because you're clueless to the fact how bad it feels to be hurt by someone. Because you don't think they can hurt you because everything just feels right and then after you get hurt. It's like a child seeing death for the first time because you can no longer look at the world the same because you see the bad things do happen and people do things to hurt you. After your first love nothing will be the same because you know what it is to love, and you know that to love means that you will eventually will become broken. With me you'll always be broken. And I don't want that to happen so let me go back to who I was."

"Who said I was ever broken!?"

He didn't respond. He just starred into my eyes.

"Well I''m broken now."

His eyes sadden. I shoved him off of me and stood up straightening my shorts. I tried covering up myself with my arms. This outfit and attempt to make Harry jealous was a blow. I didn't bother going up to the girls to tell them I'm leaving. I don't want anyone to see the expression on my face. My life sucks right now and all I need is my parent's.

---

I took off my skimpy outfit when I got to my room. And changed into something that I would actually wear. I didn't have the car, I left it at the party. I should've taken it. Juliet wouldn't be able to drive it since she'd be so hammered. She probably will end up spending the night there. I walked to the grocery store and purchased some flowers. I bought a bouquet of merlot mini calla lilies with a satan wrap around them. They were her favorite. I got them for her for her birthday each year.

It was nice to get some fresh air and star up at the moon and stars. I was surprised the gate was still open this late. I pushed the metal gate opened and walked to their grave. I set the flowers in the pot next to my mom's tombstone. My mom and dad's graves are right next to each other. I don't want them to be separated. I lied on the grass in-between them and starred at the stars, trying to find the constellations. It was something my dad and I would do when we went on camping trips.

"Hi mom. Hi dad. I made the volleyball team. I'm even team captain which is awesome! I also started surfing again. I had a bad fall but I'm back up on my feet. I've been knocked down a lot lately but one that I can't get over is Harry. He hurts my head a lot. He plays these silly mind games. Right now I don't know what he wants from me. He thinks I don't want him. I'll always come running back to him, no matter how many times he hurts me, or how many times he makes me cry. As soon as he needs me I'll be there. That's what makes me really upset. I think because he's the first person I've loved it means that I'll always care for him. I do and I don't at the same time. Why is life so hard!? Why can't you be here with me!? Why did you have to make some silly turn and crash into a damn car!? It's killing me that I can't call you! I want to but I can't because I know you won't pick up. I don't want to keep coming here and bring new fresh flowers for you. I'm suppose to do that when you're 90. I just want you here. I just want your help. Can you just please help me out. I really need it."

My eyes are burning from the mascara that's running into my eyes. I took the back of my hand and tried swiping the tears away. "Sometimes I wish I died in the crash with you so I don't have to live a life without you. So I wouldn't have to go through this crazy life I'm living."

"But then you wouldn't have met me."

Notes

whoa my eyes are kind of watering here.

short update but tell me your favorite part of this passage!