Show Me The Way

EVIE’S POV:

“Hi Will, it’s me. I’m assuming you just don’t want to talk to me, since this is like, my twentieth voicemail. But um, I thought I might as well try one more time. I think i’m gonna stop after this. I hope I can. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about whatever happened, and whatever made you feel like you couldn’t stay here. But I also think i’m starting to understand. At least a little bit. So, um, yeah…. I hope you’re being smart. And I hope you come home soon. We miss you. Love you.”

I’m sure he hasn’t listened to a single on of my messages, but I still keep leaving them. I can’t help myself. I want him to know that our lives aren’t just going on as usual. If it weren’t for the constant activity of his facebook, I would be even more worried out of my mind. At least that’s letitng me know he’s okay, he’s doing what he needs to do to heal.

It’s already late, I really should be asleep. But all of the thoughts running through my head are keeping me awake. I told myself I would stop this, that I shouldn’t be doing this every night, that it was doing much more harm than good. But right now, is exactly when it feels worth it. So I get up, go into the bathroom, find another little white pill, and gulp down some water. I try to forget that the bottle’s almost empty now, because that thought is scary.

Instead, I just go to sleep.

* * *

ZAYN’S POV:

The burning in my throat didn’t even bother me anymore. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about the numbness in my chest. So, I just clouded my brain from thinking about that. Like tonight, for example. I’m pretty sure it’s about 12:30, and when I tried to get up from the bar, it was close to impossible.

“Can I get another one of these?” I motioned towards the bartender.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough.”

“No.”

“Whatever you say. But just don’t puke out here, and no fights, and none of the that brooding thing you’ve been doing lately, it’s getting exhausting to have to listen to your never-ending inner monologue. And you can find your own damn way home.”

So yeah, I’ve been spending entirely too much time here, that’s obvious. But where else do I go? I can’t be in my room, it’s too quiet, and way too lonely. Dr. Block has been getting on my nerves, so I skipped my last few meetings.

“Just get me another pint.” I grumble, leaning against the bar. I notice the eyes of someone on me, a female someone. I don’t feel a damn thing; not lust, not desire, not the thrill of it, nothing. But she keeps staring, so I stare back, giving her what I hoped was a harsh look, urging her to back off.

Obviously, the hint wasn’t taken.

“I saw you looking at me.”

“I wasn’t looking at you.” I bark when she walks over to me.

“I think we both know you were…” She drawls out, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“I think you need to back off.”

“Oh, please don’t try and play hard to get. It’s completely transparent. Let’s just both be honest with what’s going on here. Do you live nearby?” I step out of her death grasp, grabbing my beer from the bar and taking three huge gulps. I need to get away from this chick.

“Look, i’m sorry, but I’m not interested, not in the slightest. And I really think you need to back off. Alright?” I may be harsh, but it seemed to be just what she needed. Her smile turned into an annoyed grimace.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” She asked, lifting a hand, slapping it across my face.

I didn’t feel a thing.

“Aye, what’s going on here?!” I hear a voice from behind me, a guy’s voice. “You twat, are you tryna hit on my girl?”

“No, mate, i’m not. But if you could tell her to back off, that would be great.”

“EXCUSE me?!” The girl screeches. It hurts my head.

“You fucker-” This guy doesn’t really seem like he’s gonna back down. I let him take the first hit, a pathetic shove of my shoulder. But as his arm goes back, ready for a punch, I retaliate, throwing my own first in his direction, colliding with his face.

“What did I say about not fucking fighting?!” I hear the bartended say. But before I can turn around to respond, I feel that guys punch, right in my eye. I stumble bakcwards, thankfully being caught by the side of the bar, instead of falling back on my ass.

“You- out!-” Jared The Bartender says to the guy. “And you?-” He says, apparently pointing to me. “- You got a way home?”

“I drove.”

“Well, seems like that not gonna be an option. Give me your phone.” I don’t argue, I just slide into a booth and do what he says.

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m a fucking mess.

* * *

EVIE’S POV:

I’m startled awake by my phone ringing. I pick it up immedietly, sure that it’s Will, finally answering one of my calls.

“Hello?!”

“Hey, is this Evie?” It’s not a voice that I recognize, so I look at the Called ID, which shows Zayn’s name across my screen. Immediately, my heart drops. He’s hurt. Something’s wrong. What other explanation could there be.

“Hello?” He says, thinking we got disconnected.

“Yeah, yeah, i’m here. It’s Evie. What’s going on, is Zayn alright?”

“Depends what you mean by alright.” My heart’s immedietly beating erratically, scared about what this guy will say next.

“Who is this? Where is he?”

“I’m Jared, I work at this bar you boyfriend’s been at a lot lately. He got in a fight tonight, plastered out of his mind, ended up getting a pretty nasty black eye. But um, I don’t mean to be rude, but I can’t have him in here and he drove himself. I got his phone and he’s been talking about you… I saw your number… wasn’t sure who else to call-”

“What’s the address?”

- -

I barely had time to change out of my pajamas, let alone look in a mirror. I wanted Zayn out of there, I wanted him safe. So I grabbed Zoey’s keys, left a note, and ran out the door.

Directions to this place were hard to find, parking was even worse. But 30 minute later, I was walking into a dingy side street bar.

“You Evie?” The guy behind the counter asks, drying off a glass and placing it on a shelf behind him.

“Yeah, where is he?!” I didn’t mean to sound so abrupt and frantic, but I didn’t see Zayn anywhere. Could this guy actually have let him leave in his state?

“I let him go in back. It’s just through that door.” He motioned. I quickly thanked him, rushing towards the back of the bar.

He was lying on his back on a long wooden bench, one knee bend, his arm slung over his face.

“Zayn?” I said quietly, not sure if he was asleep or not. Maybe passed out?

“I knew he would call you…” He said, startling me. “Is it terrible that I was glad?”

“You did? You knew?”

“You are all I’ve talked about for days.” That shouldn’t make me feel good, considering the circumstances. But it did, it made my heart swell and a grin to creep up on me.

“I am?” I took a few steps forward, shutting the door behind me. He sat up, turning to face me. He looked like a heartbreakingly beautiful mess.

“Zayn” I breathed, rushing over to him, placing my hands on either side of his face, moving it side to side to inspect his injuries. From what I could tell, it was just a black eye and a few cuts and scratches.

“Most of it isn’t my blood. The guy was a bit of a twat.” I giggled. He attempted a laugh, but winced.

“Does it hurt?” I very gently traced around his bad eye with my fingertips.

“Not too much… especially not right now.”

“We should get you some ice. And a shower, you reek.” I took his hand, helping him to stand up. I couldn’t tell how drunk he still might be.

“I’m sorry.” Zayn said, grabbing onto my waist once we were both standing. He took two steps forward, engulfing me in his intense presence.

“What are you sorry for?” I asked, suddenly breathless.

“Everything. You don’t deserve this life. You’re so much better than this… than me.”

I could’ve cried when he said this to me. “Zayn, baby, no-” I grabbed onto his shoulders, trying to shake this into him. “- Don’t say that, don’t even think that. Please, please…” My eyes filled with tears, one’s that I could tell he was aware of.

“Jesus, I missed you so damn much.” He said suddenly, burying his head into my shoulder. I held a tight grip on him, my hands moving from his shoulder,s up his neck, and into his hair.

“I missed you too” My voice cracked.

I don’t know what this moment means, or what’s gonna happen tomorrow. I just know I need this boy, the way I need to breathe.

* * *

ZAYN’S POV:

Being near her again, feeling her, kissing her, touching her… It was better than any of those substances i’ve bene relying on lately. She was like a drug; the addictive kind.

I just wanted to get out of here. I wanted to wash the smoke and booze away, and I just wanted her, all of her.

“Let’s go.” She said quietly, stroking the back of my neck, forcing goosebumps to arise.

Finally in the passenger seat of Zoey’s car, with Evie behind the wheel, I felt calm. I felt better and more myself than I have in weeks.

“Where’s your head at?” I asked after a bit of silence, reaching across the center console, holding onto her hand.

“Oh, no, nothing. I’m just really tired. She gave a half-smile, proving just how exhausted she was.

“I’m sorry I made you do this.” She shouldn’t have to always be the one to pick me up every time I do something stupid.

“Don’t be. It ended much better than I expected.” I squeezed her hand, fighting my inner battle of dying to pull over and kiss her senseless.

“What do you think about a sleepover?”

“We’ll see…” She joked.

For a split second, she turned her head to look at me, a mischievous glint in her eyes, a sexy little smirk on her face.

And then, in that split second, I saw a pair of headlights through the drivers side window. I felt us swerving out of the lane, and then;

Smash.

Notes